The Compounding of Grief

 “There is no downside for me leaving. 

Not in the slightest.” Tim Keller

 A little over a week ago, on May 19^th, pastor and author, Tim Keller died after a long battle with pancreatic cancer. The Church around the world mourned. I know that I did. What a testimony some of his last words were: “There is no downside for me leaving. Not in the slightest.”
  Keller wasn’t just a pastor, he was also a gifted theologian and author. He had a burden for the city and the lostness of our great urban communities. He was the founding pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian in New York City and the author of several bestselling books. His books always stretched me. I particularly loved his book on marriage and his deep love for his wife, Kathy, along with his transparency about his own marital weaknesses.
  A little over a week ago in our own community a 16-year-old boy bypassed the emergency warning system at a railroad crossing and was struck by an oncoming train. It was heartbreaking. As I was called to the scene as the police chaplain, I felt totally inadequate. In the face of such a horrific tragedy, there are no words.
  Unless you understand how compound interest works, you’ll be puzzled by grief. When it comes to financial wealth. There are at least two ways to grow wealthy. You could have an inheritance or a lump sum dropped on you. You're poor one day, and have millions in the bank the next day. You’re rich! Or you learn to take advantage of compound interest. For instance, you put $1,000 in the bank when you're a teenager, then you deposit $100 every week for a few decades. By the time you’re fifty, even though there hasn’t been any huge sum dropped, the interest of those small consistent deposits has made you rich in wealth.
  Grief works in a similar way. You might lose a loved one (a huge lump sum payment). Or you grow up in a broken family with chronic bickering. Maybe there is a divorce. Maybe a parent is an addict. You never feel safe. Those small traumatic deposits of hurt are so regular that by the time you’re middle-aged, you find yourself very rich in grief. Grief’s buildup isn’t about lump sum payments of catastrophe as much as it is small painful deposits that are consistent as sundown.
  In 1991 Gerald Sittser, his wife, Lydia, and their children were driving through Iowa when a drunk driver hit them at 85 mph. Gerald lost his mother, his wife, and a four-year-old child in an instant. He sat beside an isolated highway and watched them die. Eventually, he authored a book entitled A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows Through Loss:
  “Catastrophic loss by definition precludes recovery. It will transform us or destroy us, but it will never leave us the same…It is not true that we become less through our loss – unless we allow the loss to make us less, grinding our soul down until there is nothing left. Loss can also make us more. I did not get over my loved ones; rather, I absorbed the loss into my life until it became part of who I am. Sorrow took up permanent residence in my soul and enlarged it…One learns the pain of others by suffering one’s own pain, by turning inside oneself, by finding one’s own soul…The soul is elastic, like a balloon. It can grow larger through suffering.
  Life is characterized by loss. If you’ve not yet faced a significant loss, you will. It usually starts with a grandparent or an elderly relative. Eventually, it will be a spouse. It could be your child.
  For the believer, the losses that threaten to overwhelm can enlarge us, deepen us, offer us something unforeseen. Unexpected blessings can follow loss. Hope follows grief. Character follows the furnace in which character was forged. Our Heavenly Father is in control and has blessings for us even in loss. We do not grieve “as others who have no hope” (1 Thess. 4:13).
  These are not wasted times for the child of God. It’s like a compost pile. As we throw scraps on the pile, we see the broken husks of things that were once full of life but are now empty shells. It seems as if their story is over. But give it time – from that which was dead will spring new life.
  God is able to salvage the broken parts of this world and our lives. Romans 8:28 promises, “All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.” It’s the story of the Bible. God uses these painful situations so that we’ll be “conformed to the image of His Son.” How can grief conform us to the likeness of Christ?
  Compassion. It’s called redemptive pain. It’s the highest and best use of your pain. “[God] comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us” (2 Corinthians 1:4 NLT).
  Maturity. It makes us very cognizant of the fragility and temporariness of this life. It opens our eyes to realize that this world is not our Home, people matter more than things, time is precious and that the truly good things in life are not found in money, or health, or entertainment, or fame.
  Mystery. The Bible never explains why God allows us loss in a particular instance. There are broader principles: free will, a sin-filled world, God’s glory, and our spiritual growth. But our specific pain may not be known until after the fact, maybe not until we’re finally Home and can see reality clearly. Yet we do know that if you trust Christ for your salvation, you’ll spend eternity in heaven with God. It’s that hope that sustains you even through the valley of the shadow of death and terrible loss.
  Community. Loss is one of the greatest opportunities for the church to be the church. Suffering enables us to more fully “bear another’s burdens, and so fulfill the Law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). As we pass on the comfort of God, we in turn are comforted. We gain an appreciation for the community of the broken, journeying together toward a resurrection. We recognize the importance of the moment. We take risks we might not have taken because we know life is a vapor. Some things must be done now or they might not be done at all. We reach out and look up more than ever.
  Heaven. God comforts us with His promise of a place with no more pain and no more tears. Heaven will be a reunion beyond anything experienced in this world. No wonder Paul writes, “Do not lose heart for our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding glory that outweighs them all…” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).
  Believers never say, “goodbye.” We say, “Good night…I’ll see you in the morning” and what a glorious morning that will be!

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

 

 

 

The Church is the Hope for the City

“We need new churches if the body of Christ in a city is going to grow”  Tim Keller

  I grew up in the city. My childhood home was just inside the city of Atlanta limits. When my Dad built our home in the early 1960’s, it was a totally Caucasian neighborhood. Our church was seven miles away in a suburb called East Point. That small burb and our church were also Caucasian. But like many southern cities, Atlanta was changing. African-Americans began buying homes in white dominated areas. There was an ensuing panic and “white flight” began to take place. The neighborhood around our church also changed. Eventually, the church merged with another church, moving some 30 miles away to the suburbs.

  It’s easy to second guess what churches and people did in the past because of neighborhood and ethnic changes. My concern is that while white churches followed their white congregations into the suburbs, often they didn’t leave a Gospel witness behind. While the ethnic and economic make-up of the church’s neighborhood may have changed, there were still people there – people who needed the Gospel. It’s a scene that’s been replayed in America countless times. Drive through any urban area and you’ll see empty church buildings or that have been transformed into something other than a church. The former church has ceased to have a ministry in that neighborhood.  

  Several years ago I read Missionary Methods: St. Paul's or Ours? by Dr. Roland Allen. When Dr. Allen first wrote this book in 1962, it was considered revolutionary. Unlike other studies, he didn’t focus on Paul’s doctrine or character but on his missionary methodology. As you study Paul’s missionary journeys, you discover that Paul focused on urban areas.  

  There’s no question that Paul was the greatest missionary of all time. His missionary strategy was designed to reach the greatest number with the highest efficiency. What he did was also abhorrent to his own Jewish countrymen. While Paul didn’t neglect the Jews, he didn’t stop with the Jews. He did something that’s still rare even today – Paul reached out to people groups that were very different from him. Few churches take the initiative to reach out to those who are different than the majority of the congregation. Few Christians step out of their familiar circle across economic, ethnic, age or moral lines to reach someone with the Gospel.

  Paul took the Gospel places it’d never gone before (2 Cor. 10:16), “not where Christ was named, lest I should build upon another man’s foundation” (Rom. 15:20). Not only did he concentrate on the great cities, he concentrated on economic centers. He’d come from the large city of Tarsus himself and preached in world’s political capital, Rome, as well as in Athens, the world’s cultural center. Philippi was the “chief city” of Macedonia (Acts 16:12), as were Corinth in Achaia and Ephesus in Asia Minor. Antioch, Troas, Thessalonica—all were great seaport cities. Establishing solid churches in such cities provided centers for carrying the Gospel throughout the world. Over the course of his life, Paul traveled some 15,000 miles and preached to thousands of people.

  Our own church was started by a church in the City of Racine, Calvary Memorial. The Pauline model of missions begins in an urban center and then reaches out to the regions beyond those urban centers.

  Too often, evangelicals have abandoned the cities. The church I grew up in gave $200,000 annually to world missions. While they sent missionaries around the world, even to Africa, there was little concern for their African-American backyard. Churches pour missions money reaching the far ends of the globe, yet fail to consider needs a few miles away in the city. Too many of us see the problems in the city, yet overlook Gospel opportunities.

  For example, a city is where you can do cross-cultural ministry without having to leave the States. Many are centers for universities and colleges with international students. When we reach international students with the Gospel, often we send back “missionaries” are already prepared for the culture. They know the language and because they have a degree, have the financial support they’ll need. With a college degree they’re respected members of society. It’s similar to the account of the conversion of the Ethiopian eunuch repeated in a contemporary setting (Acts 8:26-40).

  We’ve lost the “War on Poverty.” Sixty years later our cities are worse than they were when President Johnson declared “war” in his State of the Union address in 1964. From a biblical worldview, it’s because we’ve used the wrong “weapons.” There’s no question the inner city needs jobs, housing and education. Sixty years later we know that merely adding those things fails to bring lasting change and does nothing for eternity. One can work hard, live in a nice home, even have a Ph. D and yet not know Jesus.  Contrary to the conventional wisdom, a job is not the best social program.

  Tim Keller who planted a powerful church in New York City points out neighborhoods stay largely the same if new types of residents (richer, poorer, or culturally different from the rest) comprise less than 5% of the population. But when the number of new residents reaches somewhere between 5% and 20%, the whole neighborhood ethos shifts. Perhaps if instead of planting more churches in white middle class America, we used our resources to plant churches in cities, we’d see transformational change. 

  This morning it’s a privilege to welcome Tom & Joanna Kubiak to Grace. The Kubiaks are planting their second church in the city of Chicago and we hope to partner with them in this wonderful Great Commission endeavor! 

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.