Over the course of my life I’ve observed what I would consider an unbiblical perspective toward young adults in general. Specifically, I’m talking about those who are out of high school and usually in that category known as a twenty-something. My experience has been that in the Church, for the most part, this group is treated akin to an overgrown teenager.
Our current economy has only encouraged this
disdain. Many in this age group find they either had to move back home after
college because of a lack of available jobs in their field or because of
economic necessity. Those who did not go off to college often have never left
home.
Please understand, my intent is not to justify
either immaturity or irresponsibility. Accompanying the transition into adulthood,
there are normal adult responsibilities, i.e., holding down a full time job, handling
one’s personal finances, domestic responsibilities (cooking, cleaning, washing
one’s own clothes, etc.), or pursuing a post-high school education. There needs
to be a transition into a healthy adulthood after high school.
Yet, personally, I believe that there are
some assumptions of what are “adult” responsibilities which I don’t find are
biblically justified. My experience has been that these are more common in the
Church than the secular world. For example, there is frequently an unspoken
assumption that you’re not really an adult until you’re married. Another one
that I find illogical is that you are not really an adult until you live on
your own. While I believe in adult independence, I’m not sure how it reputedly demonstrates
adult independence if one has to live with a room mate to be considered to be out
on “one’s own” or can barely afford groceries. To be sure, if a
twenty-something is living with their parents there should be some home responsibilities,
much as they’d have if they were living independently. A cooperative living
situation should not be a blank check for irresponsibility.
For some reason, too, this generation of
twenty-somethings, seem to be a little more immature than previous ones. Personally,
I think some of that is the result of their parents’ rampant divorce rate,
cohabitation, absentee parenting, unrestrained materialism and a valueless
culture. Because of this immaturity, I’ve met older adults who want to wash
their hands of them.
Some time back I had an extended conversation
with someone in their fifties that was exasperated with twenty-somethings and
their immaturity. He was washing his hands of them and had determined he’d no
longer be involved in a ministry to them. After listening to his venting, I suggested
that if all of us as older, hopefully more mature Christians washed our hands
of investing in this generation and were unwilling to seek to help them or mentor
them…who will?
My own experience when I was their age was that
I was frequently treated with disdain in the Church, yet treated as an equal
outside of the Church. At work, I was expected to perform as an adult. But at
church, because of my age, my input was given very little credibility or value.
Often I was treated poorly, sometimes made the butt of jokes…just because of my
age. Not a situation, I must confess, I always I responded to in a Christlike
manner, unfortunately. The Bible college I attended was very legalistic and
epitomized this problem. It was assumed that college students weren’t responsible
enough to even know when to go to bed or get up, just because of their youth.
It’s noteworthy when someone turns eighteen, even our secular government recognizes
that they’re old enough to vote or die in a war. If they commit a crime, the
courts treat them as an adult who is fully responsible for their choices. Where
they live, their grasp of life skills, their marital status or even their
mental/emotional maturity are not factors that are considered for those rights
or responsibilities.
The Apostle Paul wrote to his young protégé
in the faith, Timothy, “Let no one
despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in
conduct, in love, in faith, in purity” (1 Timothy 4:12). At Grace, we’re
committed to respecting adults of all ages, no matter what their living
situation or marital status. We’re committed to planning generationally. Some
day, in the not too distant future, twenty-somethings will be the leaders of
our church and many of them are already.
At this phase of their lives, most of them
don’t have financial resources to make huge investments in our Building Changed Lives Together
Campaign. We determined though, even if they’re living with their parents, that
they’d receive the same materials as every other adult in our church. Why? We want to make a strong,
philosophical statement! This new tool is a generational one. And one day all of
its responsibilities as well as the direction of our church will fall on their
shoulders. We want their input both in the design of this building and
financial commitment for our new building. As we’ve stated from day one of this
Campaign, it’s going to take both wide and deep financial commitments. It’s is
just as important for those still saddled with college debt and commencing their
adult lives to be part of this, as it is for those of us on the other side of
those financial obligations. It’s about being a church family that’s
multi-generational. It’s about ownership and stewardship.
So to all of our wonderful twenty-something
adults who call Grace their church home, please partner with us. Do what you
can financially and please share your input and observations so that we
construct a new tool you will use to serve the Lord when the baton of
leadership is passed off to you.
