Family Traditions

 

"I make our family traditions a priority.” Martina McBride

One of the highlights of my childhood years was going rabbit hunting at my grandparents’ farm in South Georgia. In his book, Uncle Remus, Atlanta writer, Joel Chandler Harris, writes about rabbits living in briar patches. It’s accurate and why we’d hire someone to bring dogs to chase rabbits out of the briars which were very thick, often growing waste high.
  I’d stand with my grandfather, PaPa, who waited with his shotgun for a rabbit to run across the grassy road. Other hunters were trying to keep up with the dogs. I loved it! It was exciting to be in the woods with my dad, brothers, Mike and Mark, grandfather, and my Uncle Harold, who was an unforgettable character with a sense of humor that was as big as he was.
  We didn’t have a lot of traditions in my family yet the ones we had have stayed with me through the decades, like going to Ormond Beach each summer. We’d play in the ocean in the morning after a breakfast of cold cereal out of mini-cereal boxes, sandwiches for lunch and then so my mom didn’t have to cook, we’d go to a local cafeteria for dinner every night.
  Jane’s family had more traditions. One that I loved, and we still continue was on Christmas morning. Every year no gifts were opened until Dad Quick read the Christmas story from Luke 2. It was wonderful!
  There’s something powerful and positive about family traditions. Jane and I tried to have some when our children were growing up. Yet, to be honest, because of growing up in a family with substance abuse issues, there were many things about family I just didn’t know. For children growing up where there is addiction, staying out of the crosshairs of rage is a priority.
  Jane and I did many of the same things each year, yet they weren’t as purposeful, looking back as I would choose now. Then, when you grow up in a family without a biblical worldview, there is so much you’re working to learn because you never saw it modeled.
  Kent and Barbara Hughes wonderful book, Common Sense Parenting, that’s been reprinted with the title, The Disciplines of a Godly Family, was the first time that I had heard of having purposeful godly family traditions. Unfortunately, we did more by accident than planned, at least on my part.
  Yet, it’s never too late to begin. Some of you may have just returned from a dysfunctional family gathering over Thanksgiving or observed destructive patterns in the families of some of your loved ones. If you’ve grown up in a destructive family tradition, you might feel negative or despondent about it. All of us are a product, to a significant degree, of the way we were brought up. God’s Word teaches that there’s always hope! You can change the past path and set a new course from what you had even with your children when they were growing up. You can do it now or with your grandchildren. It’s never too late to move forward to honor the Lord.
  One of the myths of American culture is that family events must be big and expensive to be significant. Children have no concept of costs. They’re aware of love, joy and a sense of harmony. Every parent has discovered to their chagrin after purchasing a big ticket, must have gift for a child at Christmas, that it’s all too quickly discarded for the next novelty. The things which have lasting significance can’t be purchased. Consistent and simple is more important than a one-time big bang. This is also one of the blessings of a church family. Some of us have learned from our mistakes (yes, that’s my hand up in the back) or grew up in a godly home. So, interact with others, share your past, ask lots of questions, get input. None of us have it all together. We’re all works in progress of His great grace!
  Birthdays and Holidays. As children thrive with daily consistency, patterns and consistency for birthdays and holidays give them a sense of security. Creativity and some imagination go further than spending lots of money. In my opinion a backyard party where children play and interact with other children and adults has more value than the bells, whistles and noise of say a Chuck E. Cheese. A friend once referred to Chuck E. Cheese as a “kid casino.” He may have been on to something.
  A downstairs playroom accomplishes the same thing. And if you’re part of the Grace Church family, our gym and building is available to you. We have so much sports equipment at church and there are countless Nerf guns and other fun items. It’s yours to use!  
  On holidays being with loving grandparents and extended family gives a child roots. There’s something about those family recipes, sitting together at a large family table or sitting with your cousins at the “kids’ table” that gives us precious memories. I’m not a big sports fan, yet there’s something special about gathering with the family to watch the big game or play games or just laughing at the same old stories until you’re crying.
  If your situation isn’t healthy or healthy for your children, limit it. Learn to be a good “leaver.” When I know that at a party or event alcohol will be consumed, I leave before those I care about become intoxicated. I don’t want a friend or family member to be embarrassed or feel they need to apologize for something said or done when they were under the influence.
  Vacations. Visiting with distant parents/grandparents has some benefits yet it limits special times that you can have with your own children. When our children were young because of limited finances, we often would have to stay with relatives for vacation. We had a tradition though that right after Christmas we’d drive to a hotel within about three hours. One year all of us were armed with laser tag gun sets and battled throughout the hotel…and they didn’t kick us out lol.
  There are benefits of returning to the same place if you can periodically. Rather than having to learn about the location, you can focus more on learning about each other. Yet, we also made fantastic memories visiting some great sites in our country like Washington, D.C. or Yellowstone.
  In the Bible, particularly in the Old Testament, you’ll find that God gave His people several special days. It helped them to know God better and gave them spiritual memories.
  Traditions are important for a healthy family. As we move into 2024, prayerfully look for some that you can start or determine to continue!

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Purity is Creepy???

 

“To see evil and not call it evil is evil.” John Hagee 

Imagine attacking a politician because he/she is too concerned about their own personal morality and more than that, the protection from pornography of their own underage child. Yet, that’s exactly what’s happened recently with the newly elected Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson. 

  What’s the “deviant” thing that he’s done that’s brought so much mockery from the national media? Johnson is taking flak for using an accountability software called Covenant Eyes to protect himself and his adolescent son from watching pornography. The program shares what sites you visit with an accountability partner. It red flags when you visit a porn site, using accountability as a means to protect those who subscribe to the service.

  Rolling Stone called his actions “creepy.” The New Republic suggested that Johnson has “unusual porn habits.” Los Angeles Times columnist, Robin Abcarain in criticizing Johnson said, “Porn is not, in and of itself, a problem” and even went so far as to say that “there is a wealth of research disputing the very concept of pornography addiction.”

  Wow! Porn isn’t an addiction??? Even Psychology Today defines an addict as: “A person with an addiction uses a substance, or engages in a behavior, for which the rewarding effects provide a compelling incentive to repeat the activity, despite detrimental consequences. Addiction may involve the use of substances such as alcohol, inhalants, opioids, cocaine, and nicotine, or behaviors such as gambling.” Work with someone with difficulty staying away from porn and they’ll admit it’s an addiction. Talk to a spouse whose mate is addicted and how it impacts their relationship, and they’ll have no problem labeling pornography as an addiction.  

  It’s noteworthy that in the same news cycle ridiculing Johnson, a U.S. judge approved JP Morgan Chase’s $290 million settlement for women who Jeffrey Epstein sexually abused and that the largest U.S. bank turned a blind eye to the late financier’s sex trafficking. Nearly every day there’s a report of someone, often a teacher or minister, being charged with a sex crime. Where do those mocking Johnson think sex crime begins? Trace it back, the abuser first began by viewing pornography, often something in today’s XXX world that’s fairly innocuous.

  Have we so quickly forgotten the MeToo movement? Again, where does sexual abuse begin? I seriously doubt that you’ll discover any sexual abuser who was not first a porn addict.  

  None of us are surprised when those on opposite ends of the political spectrum attack each other. There’s plenty of fodder from which to hurl bombs, but one’s personal morality? It’s as abhorrent as those who took cruel shots at President Obama’s then underage daughters. Ours is truly the day of which Isaiah the prophet wrote: “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil” (Isaiah 5:28).

  Please understand. I’m not suggesting that anyone who looks at pornography will eventually commit sexual crimes. God’s Word repeatedly teaches that lust is a sin. Jesus said that “anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” He was saying that sins of the eye and mind are as wrong as sexual acts.

  All sin has a high price, but sexual sins have a higher price than many others. Pornography attacks Imago Dei, the dignity of men and women created in the image of God. It warps God’s precious gift of sex which should be shared only within the bounds of marriage (1 Corinthians 7:2-3).

  A biblical perspective of human sexuality must recognize that sexual intercourse is exclusively reserved for marriage for the following purposes. First, it establishes the one-flesh union (Genesis 2:24-25; Matthew 19:4-6). Second, it provides for sexual intimacy within the marriage bond. The use of the word “know” indicates a profound meaning of sexual intercourse (Genesis. 4:1). Third, sexual intercourse is for the mutual pleasure of husband and wife (Prov. 5:18-19), as well as procreation (Genesis 1:28).

  Pornography is damaging to both singles and marrieds, yet is especially crippling to marriages, as it damages the ability of its users to maintain an ongoing, committed union. If a Christian is single, he/she violates it by engaging in random sexual fantasies with the innumerable others that are viewed in pornography. It’s attempting to enjoy the ecstasy of sexual union without any of its commitments or responsibilities. Since a one-flesh union is both authentic and exclusive, it’s falling far short of the biblical standard and carries a high personal price to one’s own soul and mental health.

  When a married person uses porn, he/she steals from the sexual energy the couple has vowed before God that’s to be reserved for one’s spouse and is instead wasted in selfish, private fantasies. In essence, it’s embezzling from one’s spouse what is rightfully his/hers, and is instead spending it irresponsibly, much as a gambler steals funds from an employer to support an addiction. What properly belongs to one person is thus stolen, making the term “cheating” all the more applicable.

  Sexual perversion is not new. It goes back nearly to the Fall. Some well-meaning Christians believe that we must attack this perversity head-on in a Fallen world. The Bible never teaches that. God did not call Christ-followers to reform a dying world but instead to share the hope of the Cross in regeneration. The best way to make a difference in our morally insane world is to model a biblically healthy sexual ethic, as can be done in a Christ honoring marriage.

  No one dines at a great restaurant because they attack all of the other restaurants for foul food. They dine there because it’s so much better. Marriage needs to be presented not merely as a license for sex but as a living metaphor of Christ’s love for His Church.

  Do you want to be a beacon of hope to a hurting world? Honor the Lord through biblical purity. Honor Him by sacrificially loving your spouse in a way that pleases King Jesus. Let the fulfillment of your own committed marital love be a model of God’s grace!

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

PNA

 

“If you believe what you like in the gospel, and reject what you don’t like, it is not the gospel you believe, but yourself.”  Augustine  

Although about two-thirds of Americans have a prescription medication, approximately 50% of them don’t take their medications as prescribed. It’s a phenomenon known as “medication non-adherence” (MNA). It’s the cause of a huge amount of unnecessary physical and emotional suffering, financial loss, and premature deaths that cost too many individuals precious time that they could have with their loved ones. 

  When someone tells you that a kidney stone is painful, believe them. After self-diagnosing that my recent extreme back pain was a pulled muscle (Web MD told me to get my will prepared), but after no relief I realized that “Dr. Carson” was painfully wrong. After one trip to Urgent Care and another a day later to the ER, they diagnosed correctly that it was a kidney stone. When I was able to schedule an appointment with my urologist, Dr. Tran, I was feeling a lot better and assumed I’d probably passed the stone. But kidney stones are one of Dr. Tran’s specialties and he informed me that based on the size of the stone and the small amount of time that had passed, it was unlikely that it’d ever pass on its own. Now I had a choice, to trust “Dr. Carson,” who was relying on Google or the expert who’d gone to medical school, had a license to practice medicine and over a decade’s experience. It seemed wiser to trust the expert, so I did.

  A pastor is a “soul doctor.” The Bible teaches that he’s to be a man of God and saturated in God’s Word. God has not called us to share our feelings or opinions but His truth. He’s to love the Lord and those He’s been called to pastor. He’s to want God’s best for those under His care.

  When a pastor shares counsel either in the pulpit or personally with you that’s based on God’s Word, it’s wise to listen. Yet as many ignore their doctor’s advice, many in a church ignore their pastor’s biblical counsel. Here are some of the more common areas.

  Meet your Savior daily for breakfast. Nothing is so life altering, so prepares you for every part of your day than starting the day in God’s Word and in prayer. Yet, you’ll continually meet Christians who long for peace yet won’t take the time to meet regularly with the Prince of Peace.

  When something is important, we make it a priority. One of my mentors used to say, “No Bible, No Breakfast.” It doesn’t need to be a spiritual marathon. It needs to be consistent. And it doesn’t have to be in the morning in case you’re not a morning person. It doesn’t even have to be reading, though there are some benefits of reading with engaging several senses. You can easily listen to a passage of Scripture, if that works for you. There really is no excuse. We have so many tools today. You won’t be a healthy Christ-follower without consistent time with the Lord!

  Gather personally for weekly worship. As our culture increasingly becomes unchurched, there are innumerable options and “obligations” on Sunday morning than ever before. The early church felt the same pressure. A high percentage were slaves, which is why they’d either meet before the workday began or after it. The church that I grew up in was one of the first to have a weekly radio broadcast. It was designed to minister to those who couldn’t attend worship, usually because they were physically unable to come. With the advent of Covid, every church launched a media ministry.

  Watching worship can never replace being personally part of a worship service. It’s the difference between a microwave dinner and a homecooked meal. It’s why Scripture commands us to gather for weekly worship (Hebrews 10:25). It’s amazing that while we’re casual about personally attending worship in America, the persecuted church throughout the world takes great risks to gather for worship. They know that personal involvement is key to spiritual health, even though it’d be safer to watch a media ministry. It's in community that we’re stretched as we interact with those unlike us, economically, personality wise, politically, marital status, age-wise. Most of us tend to group with those like us. It’s not God’s plan. God uses the diversity of a church family to help us grow spiritually.

  Make serving and sharing part of your life. Selfishness comes naturally. Because of sin we all have an “I” problem. Yet, self-oriented individuals are miserable. We are saved to serve (Ephesians 2:10). Why do most people visit a therapist? “To talk about MY problems.” Love, joy and peace don’t come from being self-focused. Serving the Lord is to stretch us! While it’s true we’re to serve our families, remember Jesus washed Judas’ feet. Service often includes those we may not want to serve. Selfishness guarantees carnality but serving is vital for spiritual growth.

  Then, we weren’t saved to hoard the gospel. We were saved to share it. The most miserable Christians and churches are those that have discarded the Great Commission. They become petty and self-focused. Seeing individuals rescued and lives revolutionized is our purpose.

  Praise and gratitude are habitual. Read the pages of Scripture and you can’t help but notice how the Bible is filled with praise and gratitude. It’s God’s will that they fill our hearts. Yet, observe a world without Christ and you can’t help but notice how its brimming with griping, complaining and criticism. Sadly, most wear their unhappiness right on their face.

  As Christ-followers, we’ll never have pain-free, trouble-free lives, but we know the One who is in control. We also know how blessed we are. This life is as close to Hell as a Christ-follower will ever get…and it’s so short in comparison to eternity in heaven! Even our suffering has a purpose. Our heavenly Father is in control of the heat and will let nothing happen that’s not in His plan, even though we may not understand. The worst we experience is being used for His glory and our good (Romans 8:28).

  Obviously, there are many more. These are some of the basics. Please make these a part of your life and you’ll be astounded how much they help you. I love our church family and I love you. More than that God loves you and wants the best for you, so please follow His prescription!

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

The Blessing of Pain

 

“Pain isn’t the enemy. The inability or unwillingness to face pain is a far greater danger.”  Samuel Chand 

To be honest, I haven’t been through much physical pain in my life, at least not nearly as much as many friends that I know, even many of you at church. Some of you know that last Sunday after church I had Jane drive me to Urgent Care. For some reason I’d been in excruciating back pain that would come and go during the previous week. On Sunday morning it hit with a vengeance. Praise the Lord! He gave me the strength and grace to preach in both services. I can’t remember being in such pain. On a scale of 1 to 10 I’d put it at a 15. It turns out that I have a kidney stone. 

 There are many kinds of pain: physical, emotional, relational, even spiritual pain. I know that I’ve faced most of them with the loss of my mom and through the years, bouts with depression. Yet, I believe that Sam Chand pegged us right, at least he’s pegged me: In his book, Leadership Pain: God’s Classroom for Growth, he writes: Christians often have more difficulty handling personal pain than unbelievers. They look at the promises of God and conclude that God should fill their lives with joy, love, support and success. That’s reading the Bible selectively. The Scriptures state – clearly and often – that enduring pain is one of the ways, perhaps the main way, God works His grace deeply into our lives.”

  November is the Thanksgiving month. Too often we forget, I know that I do, The Blessing of Pain. As Christ-followers, we have something that those who don’t know Jesus can’t have. Instead of escaping pain, in Christ we can actually embrace pain. Let me suggest why.  Pain helps us grow. Read the pages of Scripture, you will be pressed to find anyone that God didn’t greatly use that He also didn’t greatly wound – from Joseph the Patriarch to the Apostle Paul.

  Some years ago, my dear friend and Jane’s brother in-law, Fred Froman, shared with me that when he’s going through pain he prays, “Lord, help me to learn the lessons that you want me to learn from this.” That’s been my prayer ever since. Over the last few years our family has gone through a valley of relational pain. I’ve found myself continually praying that prayer because I know God is good and I want to trust Him. That’s a prayer that I’m sure the early church frequently prayed as they suffered so much.

  Someone wonderfully wrote: “As Christians we would never learn how to forgive if we did not know the pain of mistreatment. We would never learn how to be kind if we have not experienced unkindness. We never ‘grow’ in treating people fairly if we have not experienced the pain of being treated unfairly. We would never grow in giving if we have not been taken advantage of. We would never grow in prayer if painful circumstances didn’t drive us to our knees. We would never appreciate joy if we didn’t know the pain of sorrow. We would never experience the Lord’s comfort if we didn’t know grief. We learn what is involved in being in a good relationship by having been in a bad one. A tree grows stronger as the winds bend it back and forth, and in like manner we grow stronger to face life as the winds of pain buffet us. In Christ we learn the winds of adversity may bend us, but they will not break us. So, there can be no growth in our lives if we never experience any pain.”

  Pain helps us evaluate what’s truly important in life. When we only experience pleasure and happiness, we easily lose sight of what’s truly important. Too often we place material possessions at the top of the heap of our priorities, yet a knock at the door delivering bad news or a call from the doctor, informing you that you or a family member has cancer stops us in our tracks and motivates us to inventory our priorities. It’s in time of pain that we realize that our most valuable possessions are the relationships we have with others, the love we share with family and friends, and our relationship with Jesus Christ. Pain causes us to realize that laughter, love, a greater awareness of the frailty of life, the coo of a baby, a sunrise and sunset are more valuable than a full bank account.

  It’s through pain that we learn our own frailty and dependence upon the power of God. When pain comes it drives us beyond ourselves. There are some things in life we can’t handle on our own. Pain brings us to the end of ourselves. What do we do during times of pain? Where do we turn?

  Paul points us to our source when we face our own fragility. He prayed in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 three times to the Lord to remove a “thorn in the flesh” that he was experiencing. He records the Lord’s answer and his response to the Lord, “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” Paul learned that God’s power was sufficient for his weakness, but he’d have never known that if not for his pain. As Christians, we possess the Holy Spirit who indwells us that enables us to be strong even when the pain of life makes us weak.

  Pain reminds us that this life is temporary, and we have an eternal Home in heaven as our ultimate destination. My earth suit is wearing out, but I have a perfect, glorified, painless one waiting for me.  And I have so many family members and friends waiting for me in Heaven. It will be a reunion beyond words. When we lose someone that we love, pain pierces our hearts. We weep much because we loved much. It reminds us that death is only a heartbeat away for all of us. Our Savior though is “the resurrection and the life.” While pain can temporarily fill our eyes with tears, Jesus promised to one day dry all tears in a Land where there will no longer be any suffering or pain.

  While our first inclination is that all pain is to be avoided, the Bible teaches that’s not the case. Our Lord sees the end result as the most important aspect of what we experience. As Christians, let’s be thankful that even in the midst of our pain we serve a Savior who wept through human eyes and has the power to weave both the good and bad into a masterpiece so that when it’s all said and done, it will amaze us.

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.