Asperger Syndrome changed my life...for the better!

“Compassion is the deep feeling of sharing in the suffering of another and the desire to relieve that suffering.”   Jerry Bridges

  I have some friends in the Chicago area. They’re more like acquaintances and they’re two of the classiest individuals I’ve ever met. Sometimes we meet at events…and while I’m often dressed very casually (which means I’m attired just a step above a homeless person). But it doesn’t matter if the occasion is going to be sweaty and include work, they always look like they just posed for a department store catalog. They’re two of the friendliest and most gracious individuals I know.

  While we don’t know each other well, we run into each fairly regularly at social occasions. A few months back I ran into them and for the first time, they had their son with them. He stood out just a little bit – he’s a special needs child. For the briefest moment, I saw a questioning look in his Dad’s eyes on how I’d respond. I tried to immediately set his mind at ease – you see, as most of you know, I, too, am the parent of a special needs child.

  Our son, Ben, was diagnosed with epilepsy when he was a baby. As Ben, grew older we discovered Ben looked at the world differently – particularly for me. We knew there was some type of learning issue, we just didn’t know what it was. It’s one of the primary reasons we decided to home school. As Jane had a degree in elementary education and had taught second grade, we wanted Ben to receive the extra time he might need to process educational information. So we pulled all three of our children out of traditional schools (we didn’t want Ben to stick out). As they approached high school, we enrolled them as freshmen. While we wanted to lay a strong foundation for them, we knew they’d need to learn to function in the real world. With Ben, because we knew there were special needs, though we didn’t know what they were, we requested an IEP. It was then Ben was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome and a program was specifically designed by Burlington High School to assist him.  

  And God wonderfully blessed! Ben was assigned to Bob Patzwald, to help him with his educational hurdles. In our minds, Bob was nearly an angel. He is one of the kindest and most patient individuals I’ve ever met. Bob didn’t just do his job, he and Ben became friends and are still friends to this day. He will always be a hero to us! Jane and I feel we owe an unpayable debt to Bob because of the great investment he made in our son.

  Ben is one of God’s special gifts to me. He is truly nearly everything I am not. While God in His goodness has used all of our children in my life to grow me and prune away dead branches in my soul, God particularly used Ben to do that. Personally, I agree with Gary Thomas, as he unpacks in his phenomenal book, Sacred Parenting: How Raising Children Shapes Our Souls. As we raise our children, our Heavenly Father in love uses them to grow us and transform us into being more Christlike.

  For example, Ben is a processor. As an adult child of an alcoholic, I make decisions rather quickly. In my home growing up, it kept you safe. Ben is very outgoing. I tend to be reserved. Ben is very trusting (sometimes I’m not sure he believes in depravity), I tend to be a bit suspicious. Ben loves sports (that one I’m blaming on Jane and his grandfather, Ed Quick). I’m still baby-stepping. Ben is kind to those who are unkind to him. It’s only by God’s grace as I realize I am forgiven of so much, I must be a forgiver. God has wonderfully used Ben in my life to help me be more like Jesus.

  Do you know another wonderful gift God gave us when Ben was growing up? YOU! God blessed us with you – you are such a kind and patient church family. Some pastors are verbally assaulted week after week because their children are simply “children.” Some people foolishly, not to mention, unbiblically, believe a pastor’s children are to be a bit more holy than other children. Not you, instead, you just loved our children and let them be children, and later teenagers. Many of Ben’s best friends are in this church. He’s blessed with extra grandparents and Dads, Moms and brothers and sisters – and that’s the way it’s supposed to be!

  All of this is on my heart right now because it’s National Autism Month. Wouldn’t it be a tragedy if a family felt they couldn’t come to our church because of their child’s special needs? Life is messy. The Christian life is messy. The Church is messy. Jesus came because He knew we were messy and apart from Him, we had no hope of ever getting past messy.

  Oftentimes, I see parents with a sense of embarrassment in their eyes if their child misbehaves in front of the “Pastor.” I frequently reassure them, “If your child does something I’ve never seen before, I’ll give you money.”

  Parents are parents. Children are children. None of us are perfect. While it doesn’t mean we settle for mediocrity, it does mean we extend love, grace and patience as it’s already been extended to us by the Lord Jesus. It requires something wonderfully biblical and is rarely found in a pagan world – humility. It means we don’t know everything, or have our act totally together, and we dare not be judgmental because we all need God’s grace and help.

  If you haven’t noticed, a constant theme of the book of Luke, unique to his Gospel, is Jesus’ compassion for the disenfranchised. Jesus has a special love for the sick, blind, demon-possessed, leprous, poor, wicked, social outcasts and countless others. You and I are to be Jesus in this world.

  A lost world values success, symbolism and perfection with little time for those who don’t measure up. In the Church, we already know none of us measure up. And we extend love, grace, patience and kindness just as Jesus has extended it to us.

  Most of us know someone with a special needs child. Maybe it’s autism or Down Syndrome. Maybe it’s learning difficulties, behavioral or even emotional issues. It could be a rebellious teen. How can you help? 

  Pray for them. Be an encouragement. You may not have a clue on what they’re going through. Most of us don’t, but if you know Jesus, you know Someone who does. As Hebrews 4:16 says, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.” Be Jesus in their lives and continually point them to Jesus!

Looking for quality used Christian books and other types of books at prices lower than even Amazon. Check out our family's online used bookstore at resurrectedreads.com or visit our store at the Waterford Unique Antique Market at 209 North Milwaukee Street in Waterford, WI --  262.534.3500. 

The Happiest Place on earth...it's not Disneyland

“They say the happiest place on earth is Disneyland. They’re wrong, it’s camp.”

  As difficult as it is to believe, summer is a few weeks away. Summer break will be here soon. So what are your children doing this summer?

  Hopefully, you have some vacation time planned with the whole family. As the nice weather arrives, I hope you’re trimming the schedule to the essentials, making room and planning quality and quantity family time.

  If you’re a grandparent, I hope you use this time while school is out to spend chunks of time with your grandchildren. It’s an excuse to give their parents a break and a great opportunity for you to invest in their lives. Some of my fondest memories from childhood are of staying with my grandparents in South Georgia. So have you considered Christian camp this coming summer? A week at a Christian camp can be life changing for a young person. I hope you’ll seriously consider sending your child off to a good one for a week or two.

  After graduating from high school, I worked at a Christian camp as a counselor and lifeguard in upstate New York. It was a great opportunity to invest in the lives of young people, most of them from the sin-saturated world around New York City. Some of them made decisions for Christ that week, whether for salvation or committing their life to Him. When I get Home, I hope to meet a few of those campers and learn that the summer of 1977 at Camp Robin Hood was when they came to know Jesus.

  For most parents, there are more options than funds. Yet, investing in a week of Christian camp can help set the trajectory of your child’s life for a godly outcome which can carry them through adulthood. It can be one of the best investments you’ll ever make in the lives of your children. Why?

  Long time friendships. Your children are going to have friends. The key question is: What kind of friends? Will they be Christian friends with a biblical worldview? Christian camps are staffed by college age young people committed to Christ who love the Lord. Your child is going to have someone besides you sharing a biblical worldview. Your child will potentially ask questions, share fears and hopes with these godly leaders they might never share with you. They’re going to be given responses which line up with what Scripture teaches. With technology they potentially will remain friends with these leaders and other campers for years to come. They’ll hear Bible teaching from someone who knows how to relate to them. They’re going to have the same biblical truth we teach at Grace affirmed. It will give it more credibility in their skeptical world.  

  They are going to experience God’s glorious creation. A week at camp will give them a much needed break from technology so they can experience God’s handiwork and really listen to the Lord. Camp will keep them so busy having fun and building relationships, that after a few hours they’ll forget they don’t have their phone, aren’t watching TV or playing video games. They won’t care about texting because they’re talking to real people. A technology fast helps them learn technology isn’t crucial and they can actually survive without it. They’ll learn how to build relationships and how much fun, not to mention, how fulfilling life is without it. Most importantly, they have an easier time focusing on what really matters – eternal matters, because they’re not so distracted.

  Quality spiritual nourishment. For a week, they have the opportunity to saturate their minds and hearts with God’s Word. Many young people come back from camp on a “spiritual high” because they’ve actually tasted the greatness of God and His Word. Spending time each day studying God’s word, hearing Bible lessons, praying together and singing praises to God will do that to you! Afterwards, it’s an opportunity for your home to take some new spiritual directions because your child is on your team, rather than opposing what you want to do as a family spiritually.

  But Christian camp isn’t only for kids. All of us, even sophisticated adults, need times like this too. Most of us would do well to take a page from the Christian camp handbook. We can make our homes a place where our kids hang out with Christian friends, have limited technological distractions, spend time studying the Bible, singing praises to God and enjoying His creation. This summer why not determine to make your home a place where your kids are spiritually charged up all year long?

  At Grace Church we are a family…and family takes care of family! A constant theme of Scripture is of those in the family with more financial resources helping those who don’t have them. With our commitment to a new building, we rarely challenge you with other financial needs. Our new building is merely a tool to help us see lives changed. We are committed to investing generationally! Young people are our greatest hope to impact our world in the years to come.

  We have some families at Grace who can’t afford to send their child to camp. Or, they have several children and can’t afford to send all of them. We have families where going out to eat is big treat. For a few, they may need help with all of the costs. For most, they just need a little help.

  Because we believe this is so important, we’re asking those who can to please give to a Christian camp scholarship fund, along with their regular giving. We’ll then use this fund to assist families who wouldn’t be able to send their child to camp. Please understand, too, we’ll only be collecting these funds for scholarships this week and next Sunday. 

  Perhaps your own children are grown or you just feel passionate about investing in the next generation. Please pray about it and if the Lord lays it on your heart to help a child go to a Christian camp, then give accordingly. 

Looking for quality used Christian books and other types of books at prices lower than even Amazon. Check out our family's online used bookstore at resurrectedreads.com or visit our store at the Waterford Unique Antique Market at 209 North Milwaukee Street in Waterford, WI --  262.534.3500. 

The Eeyore Syndrome

“If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden.”  Frances Hodgson Burnett

  Eeyore, (from Winnie the Pooh) the old grey donkey, stood by the stream, and looked at himself in the water. “Pathetic,” Eeyore said. “That’s what it is, pathetic.” He turned and walked slowly down the stream for twenty yards, splashed across it, and walked slowly back to the other side. Then he looked at himself in the water again. “As I thought,” he said. “No better from this side…Pathetic, that’s what it is.”

  This world is filled with Eeyores. Those who are chronically pessimistic, gloomy, depressed, the glass is half empty people. Churches are filled with Eeyores. Chronically negative individuals infected with The Eeyore Syndrome. Someone with The Eeyore Syndrome is: habitually critical, petty, sad, melancholy, gloomy etc., for more days than not. They’re over concerned with their problems, no matter how small and have a round the clock “poor me” attitude. They can find a little black rain cloud on a sun-drenched day. They find joy in being miserable or being the emissaries of bad news. Often those with Eeyore Syndrome claim they’re only realists. And they might be, if this world was all there is…but it’s not!

  While God has not called us to have our heads in the clouds or to park our brains and common sense at the door, it’s a sin to be a pessimist. We’re also not called to be a Winnie the Pooh where life is simple and the next honey jar is just around the corner. What God has called us as Christians to be are Sanctified Optimists!

  A pessimist believes Satan is in charge, that this is his world and he’s in control. There is nothing good because Satan is so bad. Then, a realist believes only in what they can see. They’re facts and figures individuals. Life for them is limited to the world of the empirical.

  Yet, God has called us, as those who live by faith, to be Sanctified Optimists. Why? Because Satan is a trespasser. This really is my Father’s world. While it may not appear to be the case, Jesus is King, though He’s not yet taken back His throne. We must be Sanctified Optimists to obey Scripture and have the “mind of Christ” (Philippians 2:5). Sadly, we’ve succumbed to Satan’s reign, domain and worldview when…

  We continually think and expect the worst. We’re so negative we can even take a positive situation and turn it into a negative. We talk ourselves into misery, gloom and doom. Basically, if we want to bad enough, we can find something negative about anything and everything…and many do.  

  We turn being negative into a positive thing. We justify our negative attitude. “This way I’m not disappointed when something bad happens.” We rationalize it’s self-protection. Actually, it’s negativity disguised as wisdom. No matter how we camouflage it, it’s a lack of faith in God and His goodness. The bottom line is we see and focus on what we’re looking for. We either continually see Satan at work or we see the Savior at work.

  And it’s true, there is a lot of Satan’s work, there is so much evil in this world. Yet, when we focus primarily on Satan’s work, we act as if this is his world and he’s in charge. He’s not! He’s a conquered foe. Jesus crushed his head on the Cross (Genesis 3:15). Yet, most of us, even those of us who are the people of faith, primarily only see and think about Satan’s actions and work. No wonder we’re depressed, melancholic and pessimistic.

  I’m convinced we must by the power of the Spirit in faith proactively look for Jesus and His working in this world. It must be our focus. It needs to be our mental diet. While it is not natural, it is supernatural. And when we do this, it’s so freeing. We’re obedient to Philippians 4:8: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Our mental diet is not to be on Satan’s work, but God’s work and world.

  When we begin to look for Jesus we’re more attentive to common grace. So when someone is honest or kind or thoughtful, even if they’re a pagan, even if they’re an atheist – is that of Satan or of Jesus? It’s of Jesus, even if they don’t realize it or are opposed to Him. It’s the fulfillment of James 1:17 in everyday life, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights…” Sanctified Optimism means we begin to notice Jesus is in control and working in this world. It means we acknowledge and thank Him for working in our world, even when a lost world doesn’t have a clue it is doing His bidding.

  When we begin to look for Jesus we’re more attentive to divine grace. It changes our prayer life. We pray in faith, knowing nothing is too hard for God (Luke 1:17). We’re not foolish, yet set aside cynicism. We stop limiting God or putting Him in our box of doubt.

  The Bible is a case history of Sanctified Optimism. It literally overflows with Sanctified Optimism. A favorite of mine is when Jesus met Peter and said to him, “You are Simon son of John. You shall be called Cephas—which translated is Peter [Stone].” Peter went from sand to stone in the hands of Jesus. It’s the Sanctified Optimism of Jesus.

  Many of us were Peters prior to coming to Christ. No one would have ever imagined how God in His grace would revolutionize our lives. Each of us has several Peters or Peterettes in our own lives. It’s frequently the person you think is least likely to ever come to Christ. But are you praying in faith they will? Are you praying for God to work and intervene? You may be praying for the next Paul?

  Those with The Eeyore Syndrome hardly pray, if at all. Why would they? They don’t believe it makes any difference. Yet, people of faith, those with a biblical worldview and Sanctified Optimism are people of prayer. 

  Do you need to change who you see? Does your prayer life need to radically change? Maybe you should start with, “Lord, help me to stop just seeing Satan at work and begin seeing Jesus working in this fallen world. Help me to grow and have more Jesus’ moments.” 

Looking for quality used Christian books and other types of books at prices lower than even Amazon. Check out our family's online used bookstore at resurrectedreads.com or visit our store at the Waterford Unique Antique Market at 209 North Milwaukee Street in Waterford, WI --  262.534.3500. 

Captain and Tennille...and authenticity

“But above all, in order to be, never try to seem.”  Albert Camus

  Was one of the songs you had as part of your wedding, The Wedding Song by Captain and Tennille? Certain love songs are trendy. For a brief period while they’re popular, it seems like they’re part of nearly every wedding.

  That was certainly the case with The Wedding Song for those from that era. Some of the biggest love songs of the early 1970’s were popularized by Captain and Tennille. This famous duo had five albums certified gold or platinum and scored numerous hits on the US singles charts. Some of the most enduring included Love Will Keep Us Together, Lonely Night (Angel Face) and Muskrat Love. From 1976-1977 they even hosted their own television show where they sang their repertoire of songs.

  Captain and Tennille were married for nearly forty years. They wrote songs about love, talked about love, sang about love, acted as if they were madly in love – they were only missing one thing – LOVE, authentic love.

  That came out in her recent book, Toni Tennille: A Memoir, the female half of the famed duo. Toni spills sad secrets from her career and marriage in this new self-titled memoir. In her autobiography, Toni Tenille now seventy-five covers everything from her childhood in the South to her often-troubled marriage to Daryl Dragon, “Captain.” She shares she wrote some of her most popular love songs out of unrequited yearning for her husband. Describing her husband of 39 years as emotionally distant, she says she often tried to reach him through the lyrics to her love songs she wrote. “I felt that he just didn't know what love was,” she says of Captain, from whom she split in 2014. “I thought if I showed him what it was, if I were able to give it to him, that he would open up like a flower. It never happened.”

  How sad! To talk, even sing so much about love but know so little about it. Captain and Tennille were part of my teen years. It saddened to me to learn it was all little more than a façade. Stuff for the stage yet missing from life, inauthentic. It was verbiage without reality.

  As I read this, it struck me that sadly their “love life” is a parallel experience for many Christians. Many Christians know “Christianese,” yet know so little about Jesus Christ. They talk, even sing “church talk,” yet like Captain and Tennille, there’s more talk than a deep relationship with Jesus. Sadly, like Captain and Tennille, the price is very high.

  Instead of a fulfilled authentic Christian life overflowing with what Jesus died to give us – a relationship with love, peace and joy – there’s lots of talk. When the heat of life happens, as it always does, who we are quickly bubbles to the surface – anxiety, anger, insecurity, fear, discontent – to name a few.

  Why is that? Why is an authentic Christian so unusual? Why are there so few Christians, when you really get to know them, their life varies little from even an atheist? Why are there so few Christians who are winsome? Who others long to be around, to have what they have, to be like them? Where their life makes others thirsty for the Water of Life?  

  There are many reasons. Yet, I think the most common, the #1 reason so few Christians are like Jesus is simply that they spend so little time with Jesus. There’s an insightful verse in Acts 4:13 which ought to be true of every believer: “And they recognized that they had been with Jesus.”

  Christian friend, do you want fulfillment? Do you want what Jesus longs to give you? Do you want what Jesus died and saved you for? Then, you must spend time with Jesus! Obviously, unlike Peter and John, we can’t spend physical time with Jesus. We have something much better, we possess Jesus’ Word, the Bible. Jesus is the Living Word; The Bible is God’s Living Word. Even Peter and John couldn’t be with Jesus, 24/7, yet we have God’s Word 24/7, every moment of every day.

  Why aren’t we more like Jesus? Why don’t we spend enough time with Him? There is one primary reason – We’re too hurried. We spend time on good things, yet neglect the best. When we make that choice, even the good things aren’t that good. If you asked the typical Christian why they don’t read their Bible and pray, most would respond, “I don’t have time…I’m just too busy”

  We have foolishly underestimated the immeasurable value of spending time with Jesus. And then we wonder why our spouse so easily irritates us, why our children so quickly get on our nerves, why do we have to work with so many idiots, why are there so many stupid drivers, why are there so many who can’t think and even post such ludicrous things on Facebook? Why we’re never satisfied? Why did does a dream vacation end up feeling more like a nightmare? Why doesn’t a new car, new furniture, remodeling project, new house, new toy, new job, even a new relationship…why do they ultimately fail to bring true and lasting satisfaction?

  Because only Jesus can do that. All the stuff of this world is like cotton candy, sweet at first yet over the long haul, it will never satisfy. Jesus is truly the sweetest Name I know. He’s the only One who can fill your soul. For us to have the fulfilled life He desires and designed us to have, we must regularly spend time with Him. Instead, too many Christians talk about Jesus, yet rarely spend time with Him.

  But we all have the same amount of time. Be honest. Think about all the time you waste on TV, your phone or the Internet. But you don’t have time to spend with Jesus, the One who loves you and died for you? Really?!?

  I’m not talking about spiritual Olympics where you spend hours reading your Bible or praying. Do you truly though not have half an hour or an hour each day? Spending time with Jesus will change your life, more than anything else you do.

  Perhaps make it a breakfast appointment. Don’t let anything but an emergency keep you from meeting with your best Friend. Close your ears to Satan’s lie that “you’re too busy…you just have too much to do.”

  In fact, if you spend time with Him, you’ll be amazed how much He will bless the rest of your day, even make you wiser with you time and more efficient. It’s a lack of faith that we believe what we do is so essential we won’t make time with Him a critical part of our life. Nothing else will so radically change your whole life as spending time with the Lord. Perhaps ask a Christian friend to be an accountability partner to encourage you to faithfully meet with the Savior, at least until it becomes part of your life. 

  Let’s not just talk about Jesus, instead may we because we spend our best moments with Him, truly know Him. Then, others will see Jesus in us! A plastic world is starving for authenticity. May we truly be Jesus to them! 

Looking for quality used Christian books and other types of books at prices lower than even Amazon. Check out our family's online used bookstore at resurrectedreads.com or visit our store at the Waterford Unique Antique Market at 209 North Milwaukee Street in Waterford, WI --  262.534.3500.