Successful Parenting

 

“Training a child to follow Christ is easy for parents.

All they have to do is lead the way.”

  Parenting Magazine recently released a list of the best parenting books of  2021. While I haven’t read any of them, they sound very familiar with the popular parenting philosophy of the last 50 years.
  My favorite title was How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen. The authors promise, “This international bestseller will make you calm listeners and see things from your children’s perspectives so that you can communicate with them better.” Personally, I think they’re over-promising. Another was The Whole-Brain Child, “This book lets you understand the reason behind every tantrum of your toddler. If you want to know why are those little monsters throwing a fit at every little thing, you must know how their brain works at that time.” I laughed when I read that and thought, I wonder if there’s an adult version. But none of the “experts” have all of the answers. Often when you see the end product of their own parenting, they raised a Frankenstein. Here’s the truth about parenting from a biblical worldview.
  You’re a parenting failure and were raised by parenting failures. According to Scripture, we’re all sinners (Romans 3:23). The best place to begin a forward path in parenting is to suspect your own sinful heart. The reason some childish behaviors so annoy you is that they reveal sin in your own soul. It’s not the child that first has a problem, it’s you.
  With that our greatest parental blunders are learned from our own parents. We not only pass down our DNA, but we also pass down our sinful patterns. For example, Abraham was the father of the faithful but was a habitual liar (denying your wife is your wife is a big one). Isaac steps right in Dad’s shoes as he lies. Jacob takes lying up to a few notches. His sons are professional liars. They lied that their brother was killed by wild animals when they’d sold him into slavery. Then, they watch their father break down into inconsolable grief.
  Look for sinful patterns in your own parenting. Have a godly friend be graciously honest with you to help. By God’s grace, make your generation the last one with that sinful pattern. You won’t be able to do it alone. It’s why you need help from God and godly friends.
  You have a loving, all-sufficient God who will supply all of your needs, including parental ones. To succeed, we must get your priorities in order. The best parenting book is the Bible. Yet, it’s noteworthy that the Bible says little about parenting but says a lot about who we are and who we’re supposed to be. It’s not our child who needs to first change, we do. We need God’s wisdom and grace because we’re naturally selfish. We must let God’s love flow on us and then through us to our child. Many times what we consider parental love is really self-love. We want our child to behave because it benefits us not them. God’s Word is a mirror that reveals that.
  Parenting is more about God molding you than you molding your children. God is creating a masterpiece – YOU. When a sculptor is chipping away at a piece of marble, I wonder what the marble would say if it could talk? God uses our children to chip away at our sinful hearts.
  First, a child helps us grow past self-love to loving them. Being a parent is the closest we will ever get to modeling God’s unconditional love. We love our children from their first breath when they can return none of that love. In fact, they do many things that should cause us to not love them from screaming when they’re hungry, to spitting up or messing their diapers.
  Then, a child teaches us joy. We’re thrilled with that little grin even if may be gas. Every little step of maturity raises us to ecstasy from rolling over to those first steps and words.
  A child helps us grow in peace. We tend to move at a frenetic pace. Rocking a child to sleep slows us down. We learn to be quiet and move slowly. We become more gentle so we don’t disturb or frighten them.  Seeking to parent our children in a way that’s best for them cultivates the fruit of the Spirit in us.
  Our children teach us to trust more and pray more. If you ever have the opportunity to visit Children’s Hospital, do it. Not only have I visited many patients there, but when our son, Ben, was a child he was hospitalized with epilepsy (he’s since had brain surgery and is seizure-free). Visiting there brings home very powerfully that even the best, most fastidious parent can’t protect their child 24/7. Children are there who are victims of freak accidents. Even the most germaphobe parent can’t protect their child from cancer or leukemia or a malfunctioning heart. Even the F.B.I. (Family Bureau of Investigation) can’t protect a child from the wrong friends, being introduced to drugs or pornography, or even being molested. Most importantly, you can’t protect your child spiritually. They’re born with a sin nature just like their parents. Even with frequent exposure to biblical truth, they will one day have to choose to follow the Lord for themselves. God’s Word tells us that our children are a gift from God (Ps. 127:3). He’s the only One who can protect them and work in their heart. Of all the things that your child needs, one of the greatest gifts you can give them is to pray for them and give them back to the Giver.
  Train a child according to God’s design. One of the most misinterpreted verses in Scripture related to parenting is Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” It doesn’t mean if you invest in a child spiritually, they always return to it. What it means is that you must study your child, know their bent,  temperament, gifts, and abilities and then direct them in the way that God has designed them. Each of us has unique fingerprints and DNA. Our Creator is not in the mass production business. Wise parents don’t attempt to force square children into round holes or to live out the parents’ dreams.
  Follow the example of the only perfect parent – God. If you want to be a successful parent, know your Heavenly Father. As you know the Father, follow His example in how He parents us as His children. God is our best example of love, leadership, and correction. He’s our model of patience and wisdom. He’s the One that teaches us about true success – eternal success.
  Sure, it might be great if your adult child had a college degree or was a successful entrepreneur BUT if they don’t know Jesus as their Savior and live for Him…what does it matter. Do you want to be a successful parent? Love God, live for Him and teach and model that for them.
  I’m sure that some of the latest parenting books have some valid suggestions. The Book that you need to be a successful parent is from the Father who truly does know best, always has, and always will! 

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