“Every dad, if he takes time out of his busy life to
reflect upon his fatherhood, can learn ways to become an even better dad.”
Jack Baker
19.7 million children, more than 1 in
4, live without a father in the home. Consequently, there is a missing father
factor in nearly every social ill facing America today. Childhood isn’t easy. Having
two loving, committed parents is one of the best gifts a child can receive.
While my relationship with my father was very strained, my Heavenly
Father richly blessed me with many other men who stepped into that role and
more than filled what was missing. When it comes to a need for a Dad, God wonderfully
fulfilled the promise of Philippians 4:19 for me, “And my God will supply
every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Let
me mention just a few.
Bob
Collins was one of my Sunday School teachers when I was a boy. We were typical
boys – mischievous and unruly (we were pretty horrible). There may have been a
dozen of us in his class. I’m not sure, but I don’t think that Bob ever had children
of his own. Yet, he not only taught our class but he’d schedule activities for
us outside of class. I’d never been bowling, yet Bob would take the whole lot
of us and taught us how to bowl. He had a heart of gold and left his
fingerprints on my life.
Jim
Penley was a leader at our church in a type of Christian Boy Scouts, “Boys
Stockade.” Jim had a passion for the Lord and ministry. He also had a heart for
influencing young lives. On Sundays, Jim would go to a housing project near our
church and lead a Bible study for boys from that project. He helped me cut my
teeth in ministry. Jim enlisted three or four of us to assist him. We’d go door
to door at those apartments and invite young men from the project to come to Jim’s
class and then help with the class.
As
maybe a nine-year-old, it was an early introduction to ministry, to reaching
cross-culturally and seeing poverty firsthand. It left a lifelong impression on
me. It was not a big surprise that Jim later packed up his wife and family to
attend Bible college to prepare to be a pastor.
Kent
Richards was my youth pastor when I was a teen. I could fill chapters
sharing about Kent Richards. He was from Decatur, Illinois, so I’m sure Atlanta
was a culture shock for him. He was the first person that I ever met that drank
Pepsi (Atlanta is the home of Coca-Cola). Kent wasn’t flashy or “cool.” He was
just solid and godly. He always had time for me.
After
the loss of my Mom and the ongoing issues of my Dad, I was a young man with a
lot of pain, yet Kent would listen for hours. He helped keep me anchored. To
say that I was a rascal is an understatement. Yet, Kent never cut me off. Later
when he got married, he and his bride, Rita, were always willing to give me a
ride to church and youth activities. I’m sure that they were on a limited
salary, yet they’d often take me to dinner with them. I was a broken, hurting
teen and Kent was God’s instrument to help put the pieces back together in my
life.
Bob
Crain was a rock. Bob had been in the Navy during World War II and had
at least one ship shot out from under him. His wife, Harriett, was my Mom’s
best friend. A very successful businessman, yet they opened their home to college-age missionary kids whose parents were on the field.
Back then it was too expensive for them to go “home”
to a foreign field to be with their parents for the summer. So, Bob and
Harriett helped them find summer jobs and gave them free room and board.
Though Bob was kind, he was tough as nails. He was always there for you
and would take a personal interest in your life, but if you screwed up, he’d
let you know. He didn’t just smooth things over. He held you accountable. And
you’ve never been reprimanded, until you’ve been chewed out by Bob Crain…and it
was wonderful. Because you knew that he loved you and if you love someone, you’re
willing to even say the tough stuff.
Dr.
David Capetz. I met him shortly after I arrived at Maranatha Academy. I
was fifteen. I’d wanted to go away to school. I thought it was my best hope of freeing
myself from a substance abuse background. But it was the first time that I’d been
away from home. I’d never even attended camp but here I was nearly 1,000 miles
away from everything that I’d ever known, in a dorm room with five other guys,
all of them in college – and I hated it! I was ready to hop one of the trains
that rumbled through the back of the campus. Somehow Dr. Capetz and I met, and
by then, I was a very desperate kid.
It
was the first time that I remember sharing my story with anyone. I told him how
much it hurt to lose my Mom, how I hated my Dad, and how bitter I was. He took
me to Ephesians 4:31-32. It’s been an anchor passage for me ever since: “Let
all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you,
along with all malice. Be kind to one another,
tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” He
pointed out that since God had forgiven me for so much, it was wrong for me to
not forgive my Dad…no matter what had happened, and for the first time in my
life, I was free! Sure I had setbacks, but I’d tasted heart freedom and I could
never go back.
Frequently, I’d drop by his office and he’d take the time to listen, counsel
me, take me to God’s Word, and pray with me.
One more, though there are many others, Leigh Crockett. We
were both from the Atlanta area so we had a lot in common. He was such a part
of our lives that our youngest son, Aaron’s middle name is “Leigh” and named after
him.
Leigh headed up the Speech Department at Maranatha. He was one of the
most loved professors and we became lifelong friends. In fact, he had a tremendous
influence on both Jane and me (Jane was a Speech Minor, too). He had a personality that was bigger than life
and was unforgettable.
Years
ago Leigh was diagnosed with cancer. Wonderfully, the Lord healed him and gave
him a reprieve. Later it came back and took him Home. Yet, even as he was dying,
he was a faithful testimony for his Lord.
25% of children live in fatherless homes. The percentage jumps off the
page if you add those who have a Dad in the home, yet is virtually uninvolved with
his children.
Men,
if we will be sensitive to God’s leading, He’ll open our eyes to see young lives
that we can minister to for His glory. We can make a huge difference just by
being attentive and available. Most of the time it won’t be a huge investment.
It’s amazing with young people how a little goes a long way. It starts with
knowing their name, just noticing them. It might be that ornery neighbor kid or
a young person here at church. I know it’s true! I’m where I am today because men
invested in my life. Many of you have similar stories. Young people are our future.
Please take the time and give of yourselves to invest in a life.
Can
we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out
more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at
262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life,
I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My
Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy.
Please include your mailing address.
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