Are you a good neighbor?

“I want you to be concerned about your next door neighbor. 
Do you know your next door neighbor?”  Mother Teresa

State Farm coined the phrase in their commercials: “Like a Good Neighbor State Farm Is There.” It’s a great philosophy to have, but it didn’t originate with them. The concept of being a good neighbor is original with God and the Bible. When the Lord Jesus was asked to sum up all of God’s commands into one command, He said that we are to love God with everything we have and to love our neighbors as ourselves (Matthew 22:37-40). The genius of the Great Commandment is that it’s so simple yet so powerful. Unfortunately, most of us have generalized “neighbor” yet then fail to do anything specifically to love our neighbors. We’ve turned it into a nice saying with no action.

  Think about how wonderful it would be if we took the Great Commandment literally…if we started with loving our neighbors in our very own neighborhoods, where we live? When we build relationships in our neighborhoods and communities, not only are the lives and the families around us affected, but those relationships also begin to connect to God’s story of salvation. It transforms us into having more of the heart of God.

  This year we’re focusing on growing in our neighbor relationships. We want everyone in our church family to participate, even if it’s a small step. It’s simple: build relationships with those right outside your front door.

  America has a new epidemic. It can’t be treated with traditional therapies even though it has debilitating and deadly consequences. The problem seeping in at the corners of our neighborhoods is loneliness. U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy, hoping to generate awareness of the cost of loneliness in one media interview said: “Most of us probably think of loneliness as just a bad feeling. It turns out that loneliness has far greater implications for our health when we struggle with a sense of social disconnection, being lonely or isolated.” Loneliness is detrimental to mental and physical health and can lead to an increased risk of heart disease, dementia, or stroke. According to Dr. Jeremy Nobel, founder of The Foundation for Art and Healing: “Loneliness won’t just make you miserable, but loneliness will kill you.”

  In every worship service at Grace, we have a short time to greet each other. It’s not only because the New Testament commands believers to greet each other, it’s a small step to combat loneliness and begin to build fellowship. The DNA of Christianity is relationships. It begins with a relationship with Jesus. Once we’ve committed our life to Him and are a Christ-follower, we have a new family of brothers and sisters. In the church greeting each other serves as more than just a way to say hello, it symbolizes unity, forgiveness, and hope. It helps bring individuals and groups together. Being committed to breaking out of your personal comfort zone is crucial for believers who want to grow, honor God and demonstrate His love to others.

  We also want to connect with others who may be attending and don’t yet know our Savior. Friendliness and relationships open the door for us to share the one essential relationship. As strangers see that we care, it’s easier for them to believe that God cares about…because He does.

  It’s why for the last few weeks we’ve been encouraging you to make a special treat for your neighbors (we’re even supplying the mixes). It’s been fulfilling to receive some of the feedback of those who have done this. Yet, as your pastor it’s been discouraging how few who are part of the Grace Family have committed to partnering on this. It’s something like 10% of our church. We can do better than this. We must care about our neighbors. It’s not optional if you’re a Christ-follower. It’s a command. So, please join us and let us know the response that you receive. I know that it stretches some of us. By nature, I’m an introvert. What motivates me must motivate all of us – we care because Jesus cares. And it could be the beginning of God working in their lives. It starts by knowing our neighbors.

  So, do you know the names of your neighbors, even the ones two or three doors down or across the street? Do you know the names of their children? 

  Ron Clements said, “You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.” You may remember the story of then Green Bay Packers running back, Aaron Jones in May of 2018. It was all over the news. Aaron Jones was a Good Samaritan. He came off a plane and noticed an elderly woman standing there with no one to help her and without any way to transport herself to her destination, so he jumped in. He found a wheelchair and took her to her destination. Someone caught it on camera, uploaded it online and it went viral. When the media picked up on the story, they called Jones a “Good Samaritan.”
  Are you a “Good Samaritan?” God has called us to reach our community and neighborhoods. Here are some questions that I believe you’ll find helpful to you as you partner with God on His mission.

  How am I loving others? That seems like a simple question. However, if we define love as putting others before ourselves and sacrificing our own resources for the sake of others, it’s worth asking. This helps us live a life that is not primarily about our own advantage, progress, and self-preservation or even our own family. Have I given recently to meet the needs of others even though it costs me money or time?

  How am I paying attention to “the least of these”? It’s easy to love those who are like us but harder to even notice or love those different than us. If we’re blessed with a life that reflects the results of a solid education, good health, strong relationships, comfortable shelter, and sufficient income, then how can we show hospitality to the least of these? Those words are found in Matthew 25, where they refer to the hungry, strangers, prisoners, or the sick. How am I paying attention to the weaker members in my neighborhood? Want a great place to start? Stop and listen. You’ll be amazed at how many long to share their story if we take the time to listen.

  Who am I eating with? Sharing food around a table, even if it’s dessert or soup helps us prioritize others in our community. If we’re always eating with those similar to us, it’s time to invite outside of our comfortable circle to our table so that relational growth can take place and respect for each other’s differences can grow. If you have underage children, work to make your home the safe, enjoyable place other kids want to come to.

  Am I inviting people to join me? As we work as a church family to grow, are we reaching out to others? When we embody this picture of God’s grace, peace, and reconciliation, we’ll have opportunities with others to share the gospel, the only hope for this world. God has called each Christ-follower to be a good neighbor. Are you obeying? If the Lord were handing out grades on this, what grade would you get?

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Spiritual Community is Essential

 

“Community is much more than belonging to something. 
It’s about doing something together that makes belonging matter.”

 

Post-Covid, it’s been widely reported that the social isolation during the pandemic has led to increased mental health problems like insomnia, anger, fear, anxiety, stress, depression and even suicidal thoughts and attempts worldwide. All of this isn’t surprising. God designed us to be social creatures. The isolation of the pandemic disturbed the worldwide state of mind. Our world experienced firsthand the dark side of being devoid of human interaction and touch at a new and disastrous level. It affected sleep cycles and sleep is one of the body's natural healers. With good sleep, a person loses attention towards unpleasant events, thereby being renewed with energy and zeal. When it’s hampered, it leads to suicidal tendencies.   

  The bottom line is that God has designed us for community.  This morning we’re completing our study of the “one another” statements in the New Testament. We only worked through a few of them, yet there are 59 of these “one another” commands in the New Testament. It’s just under 60 exhortations to actually do something for another brother or sister in Christ. These are behaviors we do out of an overflow of our relationship with Jesus, but they’re not things that we do solely unto the Lord Jesus. Other believers must be involved in order to fulfill them. They’re lived out in our ongoing relationship with other Christians. The primary place that we interact with other believers is in the local church family. While you can intellectually learn these commands by watching a worship service remotely or by listening or reading the material, they can’t be obeyed and applied without physical contact and interaction. In other words, it’s just not the same if YOU aren’t with us at church.
  Going to church is not about getting your attendance gold star. It’s not about gaining God’s favor because you got together with His people. Church is not a place to go, it’s a family, a living body that God wants you to be a part of for your good and His glory. Faithfully attending worship services helps combat two of the greatest enemies that we have to Christlikeness in American culture: busyness & individualism.
  In American culture, we’re so busy and there are so many options. Anyone who chooses to attend church for worship has potentially said “no” to another half a dozen options. The problem is that the vast majority of them aren’t bad things. They’re just not usually the best things. For example, many work six days a week. Sunday is often the only day to catch up on rest and rest is a good thing. Yet, the better thing is that, if at all possible, we need spiritual rest for our souls that we find as we worship.
  Then, we’re bombarded with the message of “I’ve got to take care of ME.” If we break out of “me,” it often only devolves into the small circle of the “we” of my family. Is “me time” a good thing? Yes. Is “we time” of family a good thing? Yes. Yet, the better is the “we” of our church family. With the almost cultlike emphasis of “me” time, one would think that we are going to be in heaven alone – just me and Jesus – but we’re not.
  God designed us for community. While each person is born again individually, one can’t be a solo healthy Christian. God designed us for each other. The local church is the best place for spiritual growth. While you can be self-taught when it comes to education, or work alone and be successful. You can even exercise alone to increase your physical health. Yet, the Bible is clear, you can’t increase your spiritual health and maturity alone. Why should we make worshipping together a priority?
  You are needed. Although it is counter-intuitive, helping others is the most effective way to help yourself. We’ve been programmed today to be consumers. Buy more, earn more, spend more. It’s self-focused has us constantly thinking about ourselves, what we need and want. God built you to be in service to others. There are needs in the body of Christ (the church family) that only you can fill. There are people who need your voice, your face, and your life experience. The more you try to fill your life with your wants, the emptier it becomes. “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you,” (Matthew 6:33).
  It’s a place to give and receive grace. Most of the time when someone says why they quit going to church, it’s because of something hurtful someone said or did. We have all been there. The Bible says that when this happens, we are to confront the offender, “speaking the truth in love,” (Ephesians 4:15). The local church must be a place of kindness and gentleness. Rude or unthoughtful brothers and sisters need grace and instruction as much as anyone. We can model and teach kindness in how we talk to them about their words and actions. Without your loving intervention, those same people might push others away from Christ.
  It’s noteworthy too that someone will quit attending a church if they feel they’re mistreated, yet most of us are mistreated periodically at our jobs but we rarely walk off in a huff without trying first to resolve matters. It says a lot about what we value more, money or spiritual family.
  It is vital for your spiritual health. The Body of Christ is not just Jesus dying on the cross. The New Testament often speaks of being “in the body” of Christ. The Body of Christ is the local assembly of those who gather to honor and worship Him. That’s simply not possible if you’re not physically gathering with other believers. Skipping physical worship hurts us. Much as a biological family needs physical interaction, we need personal interaction with our brothers and sisters in Christ. While God does not judge us based on our attendance, Hebrews 10:24 does urge us, “Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”
  It’s no coincidence that the world has gone mad while church attendance has dropped to record lows. Ultimately, there’s nothing more important that you can do for yourself, your family, our community, and even our country than gathering with spiritual brothers and sisters to weekly worship King Jesus. He designed us to need Him and each other!

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Loneliness

“Sometimes the person who tries to keep everyone happy

is the most lonely person.”

Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Snapchat. Email, text, instant messages, cellphone calls. There are more ways than ever to connect with others — yet many, more than we can imagine, continually feel the hollow ache of loneliness. Loneliness isn’t constrained by age, gender, marital status or job title. CEOs feel it, as do cubicle dwellers. New moms, granddads, recent college grads and grade school kids struggle with loneliness.

  Americans are lonelier than ever—even though opportunities for social connection have exponentially increased. Even with affordable phone calls and free email, ultimately we talk to each other less. Despite the prevalence of car ownership and the low cost of cross-country air travel, we spend less time with our families. After decades of bowling leagues, Americans began bowling alone. In today’s age of social media, we’re not even bowling alone…we’re scrolling alone.

  Even royalty isn’t immune to loneliness. While normally fiercely guarded about her private life, Duchess Kate of Cambridge spoke candidly about how life with young children was isolating. “It is lonely at times and you do feel quite isolated, but actually so many other mothers are going through exactly what you are going through.” The king of “Rock and Roll,” Elvis Presley before he died wrote, “I feel so alone sometimes. I’d love to be able to sleep. I’ll probably not rest. I have no need for all this, help me Lord.” Former surgeon general, Dr. Vivek Murthy, was the first to label loneliness an epidemic. Dr. Murthy demonstrated that loneliness causes “an insidious type of stress” that leads to increased risk of heart disease, arthritis and diabetes. Loneliness has the same effect on mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

  The first thing that God said was bad was being “alone” (Genesis 2:18). God doesn’t want us to be lonely and if there is one place that someone shouldn’t be lonely, it’s in church, BUT too often they are.

  It’s apparent when someone is sitting or standing alone, that loneliness may be an issue for them. It’s why we continually encourage you at Grace to not let someone sit alone, to break out of our normal friend circles, to engage others. It might be something as simple as asking someone if they’d like to join you for a cup of coffee at our Coffee Café after the service. It would be a terrible failure on our part if someone walked through the doors of our church and we never sought to connect or engage them.

  Yet, there are those who attend each week who struggle with a deep sense of loneliness. It could be a child or teen who feels insecure. Just chatting briefly, asking them questions, listening and seeking to encourage them can make a big difference. It might be someone who is married to an unsaved spouse or is divorced or lost a spouse. It could be someone who is single.

  It takes so little to make someone feel welcomed and accepted. Just a simple smile is a great way to start. And if anyone should genuinely smile, it’s a believer. For a believer, the very worst of this world is temporary. Not only that, we are never alone.

  God designed the local church to be a place of deep friendship and community. It’s why we have Grace Groups, which begin this morning at 10:45 am. Yes, we want to share and see you grow in biblical truth. Our main purpose though is to give you an opportunity to begin to peel back the masks that we all wear and draw closer to other believers. As we become more transparent, we draw closer to each other. It’s as we spend time together that we discover rhythms of true community. We want to be a healthy community. Spiritually healthy groups encourage, challenge, and support one another. And while other groups meet during the week, we’ve purposefully scheduled our primary groups on Sundays to make it very convenient. We know football is important for some. It’s why our groups are all done at 11:30 am, so you can be home for the kick-off.

  Sometimes a spouse doesn’t desire to attend. Most couples drive two cars. Compromise and let the one who is interested stay. And please, as parents, make this part of your children’s lives. Children who don’t learn the importance of community during their formative years will easily jettison being part of a church during their college and adult years. As a parent, prepare for that by helping them instill a habit of spiritual community. 
  Healthy community requires a frequency of local interactions. Jesus models perfect being-in-relationship for us. He was never not in relationship. He entered this world not by splitting the heavens but by gently growing in His mother’s womb. He entered a normal family, spent His childhood and early adulthood in obscurity, and then launched His ministry by inviting others to come follow Him and be His disciples. Even on the eve of His crucifixion, Jesus gathered for a meal with His disciples, then led them to pray with Him at Gethsemane. With His final breaths, He instructed His disciples to care for His mother. If relationships were essential to Jesus, shouldn’t they be for me and you, too?

  Occasionally, Jesus went off to pray in solitude, but generally, He did everything with this ragtag bunch. His life illustrates that even our Savior refused to live in isolation. If relationships were essential to Him, shouldn’t they be for us, too? Like Him, we exist for relationships.

  Created in the image of a triune—and therefore eternally relational—God, to be fully alive means to live-in relationships. If Jesus was history’s most “fully alive” human, it shouldn’t surprise us that a person can’t become fully human without a community. God created us for community.

  Grace groups, a place for community, start today! Please join one!

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Hello! My Name is "Lonely."

“Loneliness is the ultimate poverty.”  Pauline Phillips

I met a girl named, “Lonely.” No, I’m not attempting to write a song. I really did. Recently, I was at Panera grabbing a breakfast sandwich and a coffee. The young lady’s name tag who waited on me, had for her name, “Lonely.” I asked about it and pointed out, how could she be lonely when she was surrounded by people, BUT the truth is, she could be.

  This coming week is Valentine’s Day and many couples and married folk will be celebrating it. One underlying and often acknowledged reason that they celebrate is – they’re not lonely. They believe that they have someone.

  I’m always staggered by that first statement in the Garden, when our Creator made the first negative statement in the midst of all of the wonder of creation – “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 3:18). Then, our loving God created Eve as the marriage partner for Adam. Our kind Creator gave to us what the Godhead already possessed – community. It’s what we know theologically as the Trinity. In the Trinity, God exists in three persons: God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. It wasn’t just God that created us; the Godhead created us. In Genesis 1:26, there’s a conversation within the Godhead, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.” Do I understand the Trinity? Can I even adequately explain it, “No.” I’m a finite human being who will never fully comprehend an infinite God. There are many other things that I also don’t understand, like love or loneliness.

  It wasn’t a long conversation, so I don’t know if she was truly lonely, or if it was a joke. I do know that we are surrounded by lonely people. The Beatles hit a societal nerve with their mega-hit song, “All the lonely people.” Some lonely people are more obvious – a single person, divorcee, widow or widower can be lonely. So can a teen or college student, which is one reason that depression is epidemic among both.

  Yet, there are many other categories of loneliness we’re often oblivious to. For example, there’s the loneliness of suffering. Many around us carry great burdens that they carry alone. The suffering is painful and loneliness only adds to the weight of the burden. Perhaps it’s a disease or an emotional malady. My pastoral experience has been that it can often be the loneliness of a hurting marriage. From the outside (and posts on Facebook), they appear to be a Valentine couple, but they’re not.

  Or, sometimes it’s because of unresolved marital issues. One of the loneliest marriages to be in is where you know the Lord, yet your spouse is an unbeliever. You can’t share the greatest part of your life with them. You carry the heavy burden that the one you vowed to love “til death to us part,” is doomed, unless they come to Christ to a tragic eternal destination.

  As a church family, when we learn of someone in those circumstances, we need to partner with them, praying with them that their spouse comes to Christ. We must continually encourage the regenerate spouse, reminding them that they’re not alone and we’ve got their back. There are many on my prayer list from our church family that I continually pray for and that their spouse will accept God’s glorious gift of forgiveness and eternal life.

  The loneliness of suffering can be a wayward child. Many close friends,  many of my friends in ministry, have one. Sometimes it’s a child who has rejected Christ and the faith. It’s a heartache that’s nearly impossible to share. It can be a child who’s imprisoned or enslaved to addiction, or who despises Christianity. It’s the loneliness of suffering with a heavy heart.

  One that most never consider is the loneliness of leadership. Every pastor understands it. There are some burdens that you can only share with your Heavenly Father. Probably one of the loneliest individuals you know, yet probably don’t have a clue that they’re lonely is your manager or boss. I can assure you that the CEO of your company, in spite of all of the apparent trappings of success, struggles with loneliness. Because when you’re a “success,” you wonder who your true friends are. Are they your friends because you’re successful or truly your friends? Sometimes it’s only when life tumbles in that you learn who your real friends are.   

  What’s the cure to loneliness? I believe that it’s first a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. As a believer, I have promises that I’ve anchored my life to. The Lord promises every child of His, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Heb. 13:5). Jesus’ last words were, “I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matt. 28:20). Those are the promises that will carry you even when you walk through the valley of the shadow of the death after the loss of one dearest to you. It’s His promises that carried me when as a boy, I lost my mother in a tragic car accident. And if the Lord should take one of those dearest to me, they’ll carry me again.

  One of my favorite quotes about loneliness that’s encouraged me countless times over the decades is, “Loneliness becomes our friend when it forces us to enjoy the fellowship of God as much as we would the fellowship of others.” At periods of my life when I’ve felt so very alone. I am confident that I am not. The sweetness of my Heavenly Father’s love for me has so comforted me…and it will comfort you too.

  Personally, I have found that one of the best cures for loneliness is for me to care for and serve others. God designed us for relationships. When I care and reach out to someone else, my own soul is filled with joy.

  As believers, we must continually look outward to others. We’re commanded, “Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal. 6:2). The most miserable people are those who think primarily about themselves. God designed us to be rivers through which His love flows, yet when we focus primarily on ourselves, we become cesspools.

  So choose to be God’s Valentine to those around you this week! Look for someone lonely that you can encourage. Let’s help downsize the number of all those lonely people so no one has to wear a name tag, “Lonely.”

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.