Loneliness

“Sometimes the person who tries to keep everyone happy

is the most lonely person.”

Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Snapchat. Email, text, instant messages, cellphone calls. There are more ways than ever to connect with others — yet many, more than we can imagine, continually feel the hollow ache of loneliness. Loneliness isn’t constrained by age, gender, marital status or job title. CEOs feel it, as do cubicle dwellers. New moms, granddads, recent college grads and grade school kids struggle with loneliness.

  Americans are lonelier than ever—even though opportunities for social connection have exponentially increased. Even with affordable phone calls and free email, ultimately we talk to each other less. Despite the prevalence of car ownership and the low cost of cross-country air travel, we spend less time with our families. After decades of bowling leagues, Americans began bowling alone. In today’s age of social media, we’re not even bowling alone…we’re scrolling alone.

  Even royalty isn’t immune to loneliness. While normally fiercely guarded about her private life, Duchess Kate of Cambridge spoke candidly about how life with young children was isolating. “It is lonely at times and you do feel quite isolated, but actually so many other mothers are going through exactly what you are going through.” The king of “Rock and Roll,” Elvis Presley before he died wrote, “I feel so alone sometimes. I’d love to be able to sleep. I’ll probably not rest. I have no need for all this, help me Lord.” Former surgeon general, Dr. Vivek Murthy, was the first to label loneliness an epidemic. Dr. Murthy demonstrated that loneliness causes “an insidious type of stress” that leads to increased risk of heart disease, arthritis and diabetes. Loneliness has the same effect on mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

  The first thing that God said was bad was being “alone” (Genesis 2:18). God doesn’t want us to be lonely and if there is one place that someone shouldn’t be lonely, it’s in church, BUT too often they are.

  It’s apparent when someone is sitting or standing alone, that loneliness may be an issue for them. It’s why we continually encourage you at Grace to not let someone sit alone, to break out of our normal friend circles, to engage others. It might be something as simple as asking someone if they’d like to join you for a cup of coffee at our Coffee Café after the service. It would be a terrible failure on our part if someone walked through the doors of our church and we never sought to connect or engage them.

  Yet, there are those who attend each week who struggle with a deep sense of loneliness. It could be a child or teen who feels insecure. Just chatting briefly, asking them questions, listening and seeking to encourage them can make a big difference. It might be someone who is married to an unsaved spouse or is divorced or lost a spouse. It could be someone who is single.

  It takes so little to make someone feel welcomed and accepted. Just a simple smile is a great way to start. And if anyone should genuinely smile, it’s a believer. For a believer, the very worst of this world is temporary. Not only that, we are never alone.

  God designed the local church to be a place of deep friendship and community. It’s why we have Grace Groups, which begin this morning at 10:45 am. Yes, we want to share and see you grow in biblical truth. Our main purpose though is to give you an opportunity to begin to peel back the masks that we all wear and draw closer to other believers. As we become more transparent, we draw closer to each other. It’s as we spend time together that we discover rhythms of true community. We want to be a healthy community. Spiritually healthy groups encourage, challenge, and support one another. And while other groups meet during the week, we’ve purposefully scheduled our primary groups on Sundays to make it very convenient. We know football is important for some. It’s why our groups are all done at 11:30 am, so you can be home for the kick-off.

  Sometimes a spouse doesn’t desire to attend. Most couples drive two cars. Compromise and let the one who is interested stay. And please, as parents, make this part of your children’s lives. Children who don’t learn the importance of community during their formative years will easily jettison being part of a church during their college and adult years. As a parent, prepare for that by helping them instill a habit of spiritual community. 
  Healthy community requires a frequency of local interactions. Jesus models perfect being-in-relationship for us. He was never not in relationship. He entered this world not by splitting the heavens but by gently growing in His mother’s womb. He entered a normal family, spent His childhood and early adulthood in obscurity, and then launched His ministry by inviting others to come follow Him and be His disciples. Even on the eve of His crucifixion, Jesus gathered for a meal with His disciples, then led them to pray with Him at Gethsemane. With His final breaths, He instructed His disciples to care for His mother. If relationships were essential to Jesus, shouldn’t they be for me and you, too?

  Occasionally, Jesus went off to pray in solitude, but generally, He did everything with this ragtag bunch. His life illustrates that even our Savior refused to live in isolation. If relationships were essential to Him, shouldn’t they be for us, too? Like Him, we exist for relationships.

  Created in the image of a triune—and therefore eternally relational—God, to be fully alive means to live-in relationships. If Jesus was history’s most “fully alive” human, it shouldn’t surprise us that a person can’t become fully human without a community. God created us for community.

  Grace groups, a place for community, start today! Please join one!

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.