Friends are Stars

 

“One cannot always choose his vocation or surroundings in the world but one can choose his friends.”  Clarence Macartney

 
  Do you love looking up and seeing the night sky filled with stars? All night long we can see the stars shining down on us. It’s easy to forget because we can’t see them that those same stars also shine down on us all day. It’s not like they adjust the brightness of their burning to our sleep cycles. They shine on, always the same, always contributing something to our light. The big difference for us is just that one local star, our sun, which comes around each morning and shines so brightly that the light of all the other billions of stars in the universe can’t compete at all.
  Scientists tell us that our sun is not a large star, as stars go. It’s bigger than some, but there are many stars far bigger than it is—some of them more than 100 times larger. But those super-massive balls of burning light only look like tiny pinpricks in the sky to us. They’re easily drowned out by our average local fireball whenever it comes around.
  It’s not the size of the star that matters most, from our perspective: It’s the proximity. Those huge suns truly are huge, but they’re too far away to keep us warm. They’re too distant to pull us in and shape our calendars and seasons. They’re too far removed to fill the face of our moon with reflected light at night. It turns out that what we need down here is not a good view of the biggest star in the universe. What we need is just an average sun to be near enough to us to give us warmth and light and life. 
  Isn’t this true of our relationships as well? The most popular “star” to see in concert this year is Taylor Swift. Her concerts sold 2.4 million tickets on the first day that they went on sale, breaking the single-day record. The average cost for a ticket is $1600.00. Taylor Swift’s concert tour has its own subculture, with fans dressing up as very specific moments in her music career and trading friendship bracelets featuring insider acronyms and jokes only true Swifties can decode.
  We tend to be mesmerized by human stars and look up in wonder at the shimmering brightness of music stars, film stars, sports stars, and so on (there are a lot of stars). Yet no matter how brightly these human stars shine for us, there will always be important things that their far away light can’t do for us. It’s not really their fault. They’re just too far away. 
  This is why an average, ordinary friend who is next to you can bring warmth and light to your life in ways that no star influencer ever could. This close proximity is how a brother or sister in Christ can light up our darkest nights like a moon, reflecting back to us the light of God’s goodness and promises even when we’ve lost sight of them. A far away human star, no matter how bright they may be, simply can’t do the simple, vital, life-giving things that are easy for the ordinary people around us—the people who love us and share life with us. The people who are close.
  Proximity then is more important than size. It’s more important than magnificence. You don’t have to be the biggest and brightest in the universe to bring warmth and light to those around you. You can be merely average, like our sun, and do the job quite well.
  Most of us though are more concerned about having friends than being one. It’s amazing though that when you work at being a friend, God also blesses you with friends.
  So how can you and I bring warmth into someone’s life? We must first understand that true friends are built. You don’t make them overnight. Friendships are not toadstools; they’re oak trees. Jesus said,  “Love one another as I have loved you” (John 15:12). That’s how friendships begin – you begin by loving with God’s love. Let me share though some key principles that will help make you a great friend.
  Accept. Proverbs 17:17 “A friend loves at all times.” We discover that the best friendships are those who know and accept our weaknesses and imperfections. If we’re easily offended or hold on to wounds or bitterness, we’ll have difficulty keeping friends. Friends don’t keep score. No one is perfect. We all sin. If we take an honest look at ourselves, we’ll admit that we bear some of the blame when things go wrong in a friendship. A good friend is quick to ask forgiveness and ready to be forgiving.
  Acknowledge. Recognize people. Give them your full heart and attention. When you talk to people, listen to them. Ask follow-up questions. Put away your phone. Look them in the eye. The impact of time spent with people can’t be overestimated. Understand that people are important. They’re a soul for whom Christ died. As we acknowledge others, we’re saying, “You're important to me. I acknowledge your importance.”
  Appreciate. Think about a time when a friend appreciated you and how good it felt to hear that they were grateful for your presence in their life. Often, we wait too late to appreciate our friends. Scottish writer, Thomas Carlyle, lived on a farm in Dumfriesshire, which he called “the loneliest nook in Britain.” Each day he climbed a ladder to his attic, where he worked until dark. His devoted wife Jane was left alone. One evening at dinner, Jane asked why he’d never expressed appreciation for the food she lovingly prepared for him. “Woman,” Carlyle barked, “must you be paid for everything you do?” With that, he stamped off to his attic workshop.
  Years later after his wife died, Carlyle found her diary. On tear-stained pages, he read this recurring refrain, “Oh, I wish you would say a kind word or give me a compliment now and then about the things I try to do to make you happy.”
  Assure. Assure your friend that you understand. All of us want empathy. Find ways to let your friend know that you’re aware of what they feel and what they're going through. Assure them that you're there, and to your limited ability, are seeking to understand what they're going through.
  Can you imagine our world without the light of the sun? Someone without friends is living in the dark. But friendship is costly. You must invest in it to keep it healthy. Finding a true friend and being one in return is a way to be Jesus’ light in someone’s life and sharing the light of your life in theirs.

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Band of Brothers

 

“True friends are like bright sunflowers that never fade away, 
even over distance and time.”

Have you watched the miniseries, Band of Brothers? Maybe during the holidays binge watch it. It dramatizes the history of Easy Company, a parachute infantry regiment from jump training in the States through participation in major war actions in Europe during World War II. Men from various walks of life, different States, and backgrounds came together to literally be a “band of brothers.” 

  In 1975, I experienced my own “band of brothers.” Last summer as Jane and I drove through Atlanta on our way to vacation in Florida, I had one of those “what might have been moments.”

  I’m the youngest of five children. Many of you know that my Mom was killed in a tragic car accident when I was ten. My Dad, though wealthy and successful, was a prescription drug addict. After my Mom’s death, our family spiraled out of control. My two older brothers were married and out of the house. My Dad was rarely home, hitting the clubs, coming home at all hours…sometimes not coming home at all. Both of my sisters struggled with losing their Mom yet still excelled academically. With no one to check on my schoolwork, I just didn’t do it. Though I was in a private school, though a school counselor sought to encourage me to do better, I was bombing out. It’s what happens if you do the bare minimum.

  I was flunking out. I wasn’t a jock and I wasn’t overly good-looking. But there is one group that will always accept you if you’re not popular, athletic or academic – the drug and alcohol crowd. In fact, I was booted from one school for drugs and in my early teen years became a problem drinker. My yearbook was filled with quips that I ought to join AA. Yet, though I seemed like such a fun party animal, I hated myself and hated life. I was depressed and suicidal.

  Unfortunately, my church youth group didn’t help. Because I attended a different school, I was an outsider and couldn’t break into the clique. Yet my Pastor, David Cummins, and his family kept reaching out to me. His one daughter, Miriam, though I was a trainwreck, kept reaching out to me even after she went off to college, Maranatha, in Watertown, Wisconsin.

  I learned that the college also had a high school and you could live in the dormitory, so I determined I would get away from my Dad and go there. I was a Christian but I was miserable. And Miriam had something that I desperately longed for – peace, peace with God. I got a job and was going to pay my own way. Secretly I applied but my Dad found out and was death on it…until he got remarried that summer. His new wife evidently thought, that if this mess of a kid wants to go away to a boarding school in another part of the country, let’s send him. Though I’d never been away from home, not even for camp and never north of the Mason-Dixon Line, they put me on a plane with a few suitcases and shipped me off.

  It probably wasn’t the best idea but it was life-changing for me and several others who like me attended the Academy from similar broken family backgrounds. They’d stuff a high school kid in a room with college students. I was in a room with five college-age men (yes, we had six in a room). So all of a sudden this 15-year-old kid with a southern drawl is in a room with college-age men from Arizona (Tye Rausch), Colorado (Tom Roark), Michigan (Dave Stein), Indiana (Dave Ponce) and Wisconsin (Bob Melford). I was scared, broken, and lonely. At first, I hated it and was ready to hop on one of the trains that ran behind the dorm and go anywhere.

  But God…though I was a few years younger than these five young men, they befriended me and reached out to me. They would pray with me and for me. They became my mentors and examples. They’d comfort and encourage me when I received cruel notes from my Dad. Those guys were there for me. My heart, which was filled with bitterness and hatred toward my Dad and God for taking my Mom and leaving me with my Dad, was transformed by God’s grace. I began to see that God had a greater purpose in the tragedies of my life. It’s why Joseph is one of my favorite characters in the Bible. His words in Genesis 50:20 have been a North Star for me: “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good…”

  So why am I telling you all of this? Because one of the men in the quartet singing for us today, Bob Melford, was one of those five men. Bob is a pastor’s son and loves the Lord. He’s one of the most talented individuals I’ve ever met, musically and athletically. Though I was just a snotty-nosed kid, Bob became a great friend and was like an older brother to me. He loves the Lord and wants to use his gifts for Him. In fact, I’m still friends with all five of those men some five decades later.

  One of the reasons that we are “Grace Church” is that we are committed to being a safe place for those with any background issues or struggles. We are not here because we’re okay. At Grace, it’s okay to not be okay. It’s why we encourage you to take the time to get to know those around you. Listen to their stories. Share yours.

  We are not a “churchy-church.” I pray that we never are. On a Sunday you may be sitting next to someone who comes from a fractured home or has struggled with addiction…or still does. Them being at church is big for them. We are truly a “band of brothers and sisters” from various backgrounds and situations, many of them heartbreaking.

  But we are not victims. We’re victors, not because we pulled ourselves up by our own bootstraps. We’re victors because we were rescued by King Jesus and are trophies of His love and grace.

  Yet, there are so many that need to be rescued. At Grace, we’re part of God’s search and rescue team. We’re committed to not being some religious club. It’s not just the fields of the world, it’s next door, in your neighborhood and mine. It’s a broken world. Suicide is an epidemic. Add depression, anxiety, a host of mental health issues, and addictive behaviors and it’s overwhelming. Our world needs hope. It needs Jesus. Our world needs us to be their friend so that we can introduce them to our Friend.

  I was one of “those” kids at one time. My friend, Bob Melford, was part of God’s rescue plan for my life. Together let’s be part of God’s rescue plan in someone else’s life. Let’s be a band of brothers and sisters making a difference in this world and for all eternity!

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Seeing the Beauty

 

“Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower.”  Albert Camus

 There are times that I wish that I was either a gifted painter or at least a talented photographer. That’s because autumn is my favorite time of year and I’d love to be able to capture its beauty. While I love it when the grass begins popping out and the flowers begin to bloom, I just love the fall. 

  It’s been a late fall this year, but to me, it’s been particularly beautiful. As I drive home, my route makes a path through a splendor of changing leaves. It nearly breathtaking, it’s so captivating.  

  Our Heavenly Father is truly the master artist! Yet, sadly, there is so much ugliness in our world that I’m frequently guilty of missing out on His masterpieces. If I’m not working to control my mental diet, I focus on what’s wrong, what’s hideous in our world rather than all of the beauty.

  It lines up with the old saying, “you are what you eat.” God’s Word teaches that you are what you think. Philippians 4:8 challenges us to, “fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely, and dwell on the fine, good things in others. Think about all you can praise God for and be glad about.” So here are some beautiful things that I like to think about.

  The colors of fall. Autumn is nearly breathtakingly beautiful during those few weeks when the leaves still remain on the trees and are turning from green to vibrant reds, pinks and yellows. My commute takes me along country roads where I’m overwhelmed with a myriad of colors. I have to remind myself to praise God for it. And I’m thankful for the beauty of fall even though it precedes the chill of winter.

  Smiles. There’s a young man who is apparently mentally challenged, yet he has the most wonderful smile at a local store. Every time I see him that smile gives me such a warm feeling.

  There are many things that I love about church on Sundays. Yet, as I prepare to come to our services there is one thing that I probably look forward to more than anything else, the smiling faces. The joy filled faces of my spiritual family so encourages me.

  My experience is that when I’m out and about, I don’t see very many smiling faces. Most are sober. Some even look annoyed or irritated.  Because of the cultural plague of misery, I seek to follow Dolly Parton’s advice, “If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours.”

  Smiles are so attractive and they’re free. I hope I’m sharing mine so others can experience the wonderful beauty of a smile. Something about a smile can change your outlook. It lightens your load a bit and can even put a spring in your step.  

  Friends. Oprah was right, “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” I’ve got so many friends like that. They’re with me when I’m on the mountaintop and they’re with me as I walk through the valley. Thankfully most of them are so much more than friends, they’re brothers and sisters in Christ. We’re not just traveling this world’s road together. We’re headed to the same Home. God has blessed me with them and they’re a continual source of joy for me!

  Smells. My wife has taught me to love the smell (and feel) of clean sheets. Jane finds joy in the seemingly little things, things like “clean sheets.” Her enjoyment about the seemingly insignificant is contagious. And she’s taught me – there is something beautiful about the freshness of clean sheets and so many other things that I can overlook.

  For example, I love walking into a home where they’re baking bread. It smells so delicious, I can nearly taste it. And I’d be remiss to fail to share that one of the things that I absolutely love about our community is that on certain days you can smell the chocolate from Nestle’s. It’s like a cup of hot cocoa for your nose.

  Reading my Bible. Every morning before I start my day, I check an app on my phone that has five psalms that correspond with the date. It’s helped me become more familiar with the psalms. I usually read two or three before I launch my day.

  Then, later in the morning I’ll spend a longer period reading my Bible. It’s such a comfort to me. I’m sure that some of the preciousness comes from having an estranged relationship with my own Dad. Reading my Heavenly Father’s love letter to me and mediating on His promises brings a sense of peace and calm in my soul. It is truly beautiful.

  Prayer. Every day I pray for my family. Every day as a pastor, I have the privilege of praying for those in our church family. Yet often I feel so heavy hearted for some in church. I love our church. I love you! Sometimes watching those in our church family struggle weighs heavily on my heart.

  If you’ve been around Grace very long, then you know that we break the church family up into Care Groups for our Deacons. I use those groups as a guide for part of my prayer time. It helps me pray for everyone in our church family at least once on a weekly basis.
  There are some with struggles that I wish I was a genie and could pop in and solve them. There are burdens that some carry that I don’t understand and don’t have a solution. There are some who attend that it seems that they haven’t yet met Jesus as their Savior. There are others that are struggling to make Him Lord of their lives. Then, I pray for the children in our church and try to remember the names and pray for the adult children of our families. Prayer is beautiful to me because though I have so few solutions, I entrust the burdens to my Father who’s got it all under control.

  We’re never without beauty in this world, never without displays of splendor. We’re never without beauty because God’s divine fingerprints are all over all that He has made. Our problem is not a lack of beauty, it’s a lack of our seeing the beauty that our Heavenly Father has given us!

  I love this reality – if heaven is so beautiful on this side, how beyond words beautiful it must be on the other side. 

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Loving Your Neighbor...across the aisle

 “It is easier to love humanity than to love your neighbor.” Eric Hoffer

 Back in the 1970s, Pauline Kael was a theater critic for The New York Times and in 1972, she uttered one of the most interesting political statements of the 20^th century. When Richard Nixon was elected president, reelected by a landslide in 1972, Pauline Kael was said to have said that it could not have happened. Why could it not have happened? Because Pauline Kael said she didn’t know anyone who voted for Richard Nixon. That tells us that as far back as 1972, the theater critic for The New York Times didn't know anyone who voted for Richard Nixon. Remember Nixon didn’t squeak by in that election. He won by an overwhelming landslide.

Those words, that “it could not have happened,” actually say much more about the person who said it than about the people of whom it was said. Yet, Pauline Kael wasn’t speaking from say Wichita, Kansas. She was speaking from Manhattan. It’s safe to say that Manhattan in 1972 was overwhelmingly Democratic and thus voted Democratic.

Philip Bump writing for The Washington Post (09-18-20) said that “Three-quarters of Americans know only a few people who support the candidate they themselves oppose.” According to new research by the Pew Research Center, 75% confessed that they knew at most a few people who supported the candidate that they didn’t and about 40% knew no one at all who supported the other candidate.

Over the past few decades, Americans have increasingly self-segregated politically, to the point that today most Americans live in “landslide counties,” where the people in their area vote overwhelmingly in favor of one candidate or the other. As a result, many get the impression that their preferred candidate is not only winning but dominating.

As David Wasserman, one of the nation’s top election forecasters wrote in reference to the 2016 election: “If you feel like you hardly know anyone who disagrees with you about Trump, you’re not alone. Chances are the election was a landslide in your backyard.”

How does all of this relate to us? While those with political loyalty and worldviews can be isolationists, you and I are disobeying Scripture and the words of the Lord Jesus if we are. In Luke 10:27, Jesus commanded us: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself” It’s not optional. To fail to love our neighbor is a sin. But you can’t love your neighbor if you don’t even know your neighbor.

It’s tempting to think that Jesus doesn’t know what we’re experiencing in contemporary America. But He illustrated what He meant with a story, the parable that we know as The Good Samaritan. Jesus didn’t make the ones that His audience thought would obviously be the hero – a priest or a Levite. Instead, this hero was from one of the most despised groups of His day, a Samaritan. He used shock value to make sure they didn’t miss His point, loving your neighbor isn’t optional or when it’s convenient. In our culture, the Samaritan might be a Gay Muslim. It would have the same shock value.

It boils down to this. If you’re a Christian, love your Republican neighbor. If you’re a Christian, love your Democrat neighbor. If you’re a Christian, love your pro-choice neighbor. If you’re a Christian, love your illegal immigrant neighbor. If you’re a Christian, love your atheist neighbor. If you’re a Christian, love your addicted neighbor. If you’re a Christian, love your gangbanger neighbor. If you’re a Christian, love your skateboarding teen neighbor. If you’re a Christian, love your neighbor who calls you horrible names. That also includes loving them and demonstrating Christ’s love on social media.

Yet, we can’t love people we don’t know. It begins then by being their friend, no questions asked. Aren’t you thankful that Jesus chose to love you and me, even though He knew what a mess we were? If I’d been Jesus, I wouldn’t have loved me and I certainly wouldn’t have died for, as Amazing Grace author, John Newton so aptly described me, “a wretch.”

Those who know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior must be more likely than other Americans to come into contact with people with different worldviews and beliefs. Jesus was “the friend of sinners” (Luke 7:34). His followers are to imitate Him. It should be normal for us to have those who consider us a close friend yet dramatically differ from us in our worldview.

You and I have a wonderful opportunity to show a watching world what love and grace looks like. We have a wonderful opportunity to show what a community of believers looks like where allegiance to Christ transcends political differences in the current moment. We must push back against the trend of making nearly everything in life political or of reducing people to their political views. The commission we have from our Lord doesn’t distinguish between party affiliation. We are called to make disciples—and not only of Republicans or Democrats or Independents. It’s sin for us to only love and befriend those who are like us.

Jerry Bridges in his book, The Gospel for Real Life writes that loving our neighbor means…You cherish your neighbors with the very same love that you have toward yourself. In your dealings with them you never show selfishness, irritability, peevishness, or indifference. You take a genuine interest in their welfare and seek to promote their interests, honor, and well-being. You never regard them with a feeling of prideful superiority, nor do you ever talk about their failings. You never resent any wrongs they do to you, but instead are always ready to forgive. You always treat them as you would have them treat you.

The bottom line is this: What is my relationship with Christ doing for my “neighbor”? What is my Christianity doing for the people that God has placed in my path? In my neighborhood? At work? In my family? Do I even know my neighbor? Can I truly say that I love them?

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

There's No Place Like Home!

“There’s no place like home.”  Dorothy

  Dorothy was right! It doesn’t matter whether it’s a mansion or a shack. There really is no place like home. Jane and I have just spent four weeks in what many call “paradise.” The beach and ocean were only a few miles away. The weather tropical. Yet, I found myself, particularly toward the end of our time, longing to come home. And it didn’t hurt that as we prepared to leave, Hurricane Dorian was looming as an uninvited guest.  

  It’s hard to believe that I am now in my 32^nd year as your Pastor in Burlington. In 1988 we loaded up our car, a moving truck and our then two very young children, left Detroit and moved to Burlington. The community was smaller then and had much more of a small-town feel.

  The next day as I went to open a bank account at what was then the Bank of Burlington, the woman at the front greeted me with, “Oh, you’re the minister that moved in last night.” There wasn’t a single traffic light and seemingly endless one-way streets. Getting lost both in town and on surrounding country roads was a fairly normal experience. The only fast-food restaurants were Hardees and McDonald’s.

  I grew up in Atlanta, worked in Chicago and ultimately moved to Burlington from Detroit. The smallest places I’d lived in were LaCrosse and Danville, IL (communities of 50,000). The small-town atmosphere was a big shock for me. I’d always qualified myself as a “big city” person.   

  Woody Allen once quipped, “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him about your plans.” Jane and I were originally on our own five-year plan. In fact, it was more foolish than that. As we were praying for a church and place of ministry, the one place that we told the Lord that we didn’t want to go was – Wisconsin. But in our great “wisdom,” we capitulated and determined that we would come and stay for “five years” and then look for greener pastures in another state and in another church.

  Are you like me? More times than I can remember, I’m so thankful for the prayers that my all-wise Heavenly Father didn’t answer. Because we fell in love. We fell in love with you as our church family! We fell in love with this community! And God gave us two of His greatest blessings – peace and contentment.

  Like many pastors, there were calls of inquiry from other ministries. One, back in the Detroit area, was very strong and tempting. But Jane and I never had peace about relocating. Or, the timing was just wrong. And so because we did not believe that we had marching orders, we stayed and stayed and stayed. Looking back now over three decades, we see so clearly that our Heavenly Father is so much wiser than we are. Doors and relationships have been built both within the church and outside of the church that rarely happens in short term pastorates. Unless the Lord has other plans for my life, this will be my last senior pastorate. Though I am approaching my 60^th birthday, I feel very much like Caleb, who as a very spry 85-year-old, spoke of seeing God’s faithfulness for the past 40 years and had mountains that by God’s grace he still wanted to take for God’s glory (Joshua 14). In many ways I feel as if our ministry is just beginning here and there are many mountains to take by His grace and for His glory.

  To be very honest, it would be very hard to leave this community. This is our home. You are our family! This is where our many friends are.

  Jane and I can well relate to the ministry of John and Mary Fawcett. John was born in 1740 and was orphaned by the time he was 12.  At the age of 16, he heard George Whitfield preach and became a Christian. When he was 25 (and had just wed his wife, Mary) he was asked to serve as the pastor of a small church in Wainsgate. The people of the village were all farmers and shepherds, very poor, most of whom were unable to read or write.  They were not able to pay much, and most of what John received as wages came in the form of wool, potatoes or other produce. When John and Mary began having children they found it difficult to make ends meet. After serving at Wainsgate for 7 years, John received a call from Carter’s Lane Baptist Church – a very prestigious parish that would be able to provide him a much larger salary.  John decided to accept the position.

  The Fawcett family packed up their household belongings and prepared to move. The day came and the congregation was in tears as John and Mary prepared to leave.  Mary is quoted as saying, “I can’t stand it, John! I know not how to go.”  John responded, “Lord help me Mary, nor can I stand it! We will unload the wagon!” And John is recorded to have said to the crowd gathered around them, “We’ve changed our minds! We are going to stay!” They unpacked the wagon and let the church in London know that they would not be accepting the position.

  John Fawcett then wrote this hymn to express his thoughts and those of his wife to the church and community they’d chosen to serve. After his sermon the following Sunday, John shared a hymn that he wrote that expressed their hearts. You may know it, Blest Be The Tie That Binds.

Blest be the tie that binds
Our hearts in Christian love;
The fellowship of kindred minds
Is like to that above.

Before our Father’s throne
We pour our ardent prayers;
Our fears, our hopes, our aims are one,
Our comforts and our cares.

We share each other’s woes,
Each other’s burdens bear;
And often for each other flows
The sympathizing tear.

When we asunder part,
It gives us inward pain;
But we shall still be joined in heart,
And hope to meet again.

  The Fawcetts continued their ministry at Wainsgate for 54 years with John passing from this life to glory on July 25th, 1817, at the age of 77.

  Jane and I do not know God’s plans for our future or our church. Yet, if the Father would let us finish our course here at Grace and in Burlington, we would consider ourselves very rich and very blessed! 

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Hello! My Name is "Lonely."

“Loneliness is the ultimate poverty.”  Pauline Phillips

I met a girl named, “Lonely.” No, I’m not attempting to write a song. I really did. Recently, I was at Panera grabbing a breakfast sandwich and a coffee. The young lady’s name tag who waited on me, had for her name, “Lonely.” I asked about it and pointed out, how could she be lonely when she was surrounded by people, BUT the truth is, she could be.

  This coming week is Valentine’s Day and many couples and married folk will be celebrating it. One underlying and often acknowledged reason that they celebrate is – they’re not lonely. They believe that they have someone.

  I’m always staggered by that first statement in the Garden, when our Creator made the first negative statement in the midst of all of the wonder of creation – “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 3:18). Then, our loving God created Eve as the marriage partner for Adam. Our kind Creator gave to us what the Godhead already possessed – community. It’s what we know theologically as the Trinity. In the Trinity, God exists in three persons: God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. It wasn’t just God that created us; the Godhead created us. In Genesis 1:26, there’s a conversation within the Godhead, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.” Do I understand the Trinity? Can I even adequately explain it, “No.” I’m a finite human being who will never fully comprehend an infinite God. There are many other things that I also don’t understand, like love or loneliness.

  It wasn’t a long conversation, so I don’t know if she was truly lonely, or if it was a joke. I do know that we are surrounded by lonely people. The Beatles hit a societal nerve with their mega-hit song, “All the lonely people.” Some lonely people are more obvious – a single person, divorcee, widow or widower can be lonely. So can a teen or college student, which is one reason that depression is epidemic among both.

  Yet, there are many other categories of loneliness we’re often oblivious to. For example, there’s the loneliness of suffering. Many around us carry great burdens that they carry alone. The suffering is painful and loneliness only adds to the weight of the burden. Perhaps it’s a disease or an emotional malady. My pastoral experience has been that it can often be the loneliness of a hurting marriage. From the outside (and posts on Facebook), they appear to be a Valentine couple, but they’re not.

  Or, sometimes it’s because of unresolved marital issues. One of the loneliest marriages to be in is where you know the Lord, yet your spouse is an unbeliever. You can’t share the greatest part of your life with them. You carry the heavy burden that the one you vowed to love “til death to us part,” is doomed, unless they come to Christ to a tragic eternal destination.

  As a church family, when we learn of someone in those circumstances, we need to partner with them, praying with them that their spouse comes to Christ. We must continually encourage the regenerate spouse, reminding them that they’re not alone and we’ve got their back. There are many on my prayer list from our church family that I continually pray for and that their spouse will accept God’s glorious gift of forgiveness and eternal life.

  The loneliness of suffering can be a wayward child. Many close friends,  many of my friends in ministry, have one. Sometimes it’s a child who has rejected Christ and the faith. It’s a heartache that’s nearly impossible to share. It can be a child who’s imprisoned or enslaved to addiction, or who despises Christianity. It’s the loneliness of suffering with a heavy heart.

  One that most never consider is the loneliness of leadership. Every pastor understands it. There are some burdens that you can only share with your Heavenly Father. Probably one of the loneliest individuals you know, yet probably don’t have a clue that they’re lonely is your manager or boss. I can assure you that the CEO of your company, in spite of all of the apparent trappings of success, struggles with loneliness. Because when you’re a “success,” you wonder who your true friends are. Are they your friends because you’re successful or truly your friends? Sometimes it’s only when life tumbles in that you learn who your real friends are.   

  What’s the cure to loneliness? I believe that it’s first a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. As a believer, I have promises that I’ve anchored my life to. The Lord promises every child of His, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Heb. 13:5). Jesus’ last words were, “I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matt. 28:20). Those are the promises that will carry you even when you walk through the valley of the shadow of the death after the loss of one dearest to you. It’s His promises that carried me when as a boy, I lost my mother in a tragic car accident. And if the Lord should take one of those dearest to me, they’ll carry me again.

  One of my favorite quotes about loneliness that’s encouraged me countless times over the decades is, “Loneliness becomes our friend when it forces us to enjoy the fellowship of God as much as we would the fellowship of others.” At periods of my life when I’ve felt so very alone. I am confident that I am not. The sweetness of my Heavenly Father’s love for me has so comforted me…and it will comfort you too.

  Personally, I have found that one of the best cures for loneliness is for me to care for and serve others. God designed us for relationships. When I care and reach out to someone else, my own soul is filled with joy.

  As believers, we must continually look outward to others. We’re commanded, “Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal. 6:2). The most miserable people are those who think primarily about themselves. God designed us to be rivers through which His love flows, yet when we focus primarily on ourselves, we become cesspools.

  So choose to be God’s Valentine to those around you this week! Look for someone lonely that you can encourage. Let’s help downsize the number of all those lonely people so no one has to wear a name tag, “Lonely.”

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.