Spiritual Community is Essential

 

“Community is much more than belonging to something. 
It’s about doing something together that makes belonging matter.”

 

Post-Covid, it’s been widely reported that the social isolation during the pandemic has led to increased mental health problems like insomnia, anger, fear, anxiety, stress, depression and even suicidal thoughts and attempts worldwide. All of this isn’t surprising. God designed us to be social creatures. The isolation of the pandemic disturbed the worldwide state of mind. Our world experienced firsthand the dark side of being devoid of human interaction and touch at a new and disastrous level. It affected sleep cycles and sleep is one of the body's natural healers. With good sleep, a person loses attention towards unpleasant events, thereby being renewed with energy and zeal. When it’s hampered, it leads to suicidal tendencies.   

  The bottom line is that God has designed us for community.  This morning we’re completing our study of the “one another” statements in the New Testament. We only worked through a few of them, yet there are 59 of these “one another” commands in the New Testament. It’s just under 60 exhortations to actually do something for another brother or sister in Christ. These are behaviors we do out of an overflow of our relationship with Jesus, but they’re not things that we do solely unto the Lord Jesus. Other believers must be involved in order to fulfill them. They’re lived out in our ongoing relationship with other Christians. The primary place that we interact with other believers is in the local church family. While you can intellectually learn these commands by watching a worship service remotely or by listening or reading the material, they can’t be obeyed and applied without physical contact and interaction. In other words, it’s just not the same if YOU aren’t with us at church.
  Going to church is not about getting your attendance gold star. It’s not about gaining God’s favor because you got together with His people. Church is not a place to go, it’s a family, a living body that God wants you to be a part of for your good and His glory. Faithfully attending worship services helps combat two of the greatest enemies that we have to Christlikeness in American culture: busyness & individualism.
  In American culture, we’re so busy and there are so many options. Anyone who chooses to attend church for worship has potentially said “no” to another half a dozen options. The problem is that the vast majority of them aren’t bad things. They’re just not usually the best things. For example, many work six days a week. Sunday is often the only day to catch up on rest and rest is a good thing. Yet, the better thing is that, if at all possible, we need spiritual rest for our souls that we find as we worship.
  Then, we’re bombarded with the message of “I’ve got to take care of ME.” If we break out of “me,” it often only devolves into the small circle of the “we” of my family. Is “me time” a good thing? Yes. Is “we time” of family a good thing? Yes. Yet, the better is the “we” of our church family. With the almost cultlike emphasis of “me” time, one would think that we are going to be in heaven alone – just me and Jesus – but we’re not.
  God designed us for community. While each person is born again individually, one can’t be a solo healthy Christian. God designed us for each other. The local church is the best place for spiritual growth. While you can be self-taught when it comes to education, or work alone and be successful. You can even exercise alone to increase your physical health. Yet, the Bible is clear, you can’t increase your spiritual health and maturity alone. Why should we make worshipping together a priority?
  You are needed. Although it is counter-intuitive, helping others is the most effective way to help yourself. We’ve been programmed today to be consumers. Buy more, earn more, spend more. It’s self-focused has us constantly thinking about ourselves, what we need and want. God built you to be in service to others. There are needs in the body of Christ (the church family) that only you can fill. There are people who need your voice, your face, and your life experience. The more you try to fill your life with your wants, the emptier it becomes. “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you,” (Matthew 6:33).
  It’s a place to give and receive grace. Most of the time when someone says why they quit going to church, it’s because of something hurtful someone said or did. We have all been there. The Bible says that when this happens, we are to confront the offender, “speaking the truth in love,” (Ephesians 4:15). The local church must be a place of kindness and gentleness. Rude or unthoughtful brothers and sisters need grace and instruction as much as anyone. We can model and teach kindness in how we talk to them about their words and actions. Without your loving intervention, those same people might push others away from Christ.
  It’s noteworthy too that someone will quit attending a church if they feel they’re mistreated, yet most of us are mistreated periodically at our jobs but we rarely walk off in a huff without trying first to resolve matters. It says a lot about what we value more, money or spiritual family.
  It is vital for your spiritual health. The Body of Christ is not just Jesus dying on the cross. The New Testament often speaks of being “in the body” of Christ. The Body of Christ is the local assembly of those who gather to honor and worship Him. That’s simply not possible if you’re not physically gathering with other believers. Skipping physical worship hurts us. Much as a biological family needs physical interaction, we need personal interaction with our brothers and sisters in Christ. While God does not judge us based on our attendance, Hebrews 10:24 does urge us, “Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”
  It’s no coincidence that the world has gone mad while church attendance has dropped to record lows. Ultimately, there’s nothing more important that you can do for yourself, your family, our community, and even our country than gathering with spiritual brothers and sisters to weekly worship King Jesus. He designed us to need Him and each other!

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Friends...more than an old TV show

“The only way to have a friend is to be one."  Ralph Waldo Emerson

  Last weekend Jane and I returned to our old stomping grounds – Detroit. I mean, if you’re going to look for a wonderful getaway spot, what better place than Detroit…right? Okay, I’ll confess…the truth is that there was a huge book sale taking place. Over a 100,000 books is worth making a drive for if you’re a bibliophile. On top of that, we were able to use it as an opportunity to spend some time with my nephew, Bryce Pegram, and his wife, Chelsea, along with visiting some other old friends. We had a great time! It was just nice to have a brief getaway.

  One of the highpoints was being able to spend some time with our old friends, Gary and Sally Papp. Jane and I have known Gary and Sally for some four decades. Yet, though we knew Gary and Sally in college, we didn’t really know Gary and Sally until we all attended the same church in the suburbs of Detroit. It was then that we began spending time together.

  When our son, Ben, was born, we were at their home before he entered the world. Sally would often watch our kids. Gary helped us move. In fact, when we moved to Burlington, Gary drove the moving truck from Detroit to Burlington. And though separated by hundreds of miles, we’ve stayed in touch. They’ve stayed in our home and we’ve stayed in theirs. We try to get together when we can. And it all goes back to becoming friends when we all attended the same church some thirty years ago.

  As you read the Bible, you discover that close and lifelong friends are made in the local church. It’s true that people make friends other places like their job or neighborhood. Yet, when you change jobs or move, frequently those friendships wane and die of extinction. That’s not the case with friendships within a local church – why? Because biblically speaking there should be an added depth of connection – we are also brothers and sisters in Christ. We are literally blood brothers and sisters because of the shed blood of Christ. A healthy church must be a place of growing friendships.

  On top of that, this is a very lonely world. Biblically, a church must be a place where healthy friendships are made. Sadly, there are often barriers to that which can begin devolving the church from a growing church family to little more than a closed social club. Let me share some of them.

  Longevity can be deadly to growing friendships. The longer you’re in a church, the easier it is to become entrenched in your friendships. You have history and familiarity. It’s just comfortable. And that’s great if you’re on the inside track and part of the clique. You find that you essentially talk to the same people each week. You even tend to sit by or near the same ones. If you do something outside of church, it’s with the same ones over and over and over again. Sadly, though it’s a clique that’s unwelcoming to others, yet those on the inside don’t even realize it. Our friends Gary and Sally already had lots of friends in their church. They didn’t need any more friends, yet they went out of their way to include us.

  Busyness can be deadly to growing friendships. We’re all busy. We all have lots of things going on. Personally, I go to bed feeling some level of guilt nearly every night because I didn’t get more done. Most of us suffer from the tyranny of the urgent and find ourselves absorbed with that which screams for attention. Then, we’re selfish…okay, at least I am. I like “me time.” I want to spend time with my wife, read a book or watch a show.

  When we get Home, I think that those of us in the American church are going to be very embarrassed that Jesus really is not impressed with our completed “To Do” lists. Read the gospels and you’ll find that our Lord was supremely relational. Yet, if anyone had too much to do, it was Jesus but He always found time for others…often “others” that most would want little to do with. That means that if you want to touch lives, you have to make it a priority. It has to be valuable to you and you have to schedule it. Let’s be honest. Most of us know we should build bridges with others but it’s just an idea that somehow never finds its way onto our schedule. The end result is that it rarely if ever happens. But Gary and Sally were extremely busy, too. As I recall, at the time, Gary was working something like 60 hours a week. Yet, they made time for us and invested in our lives.

  We become so focused on our biological family that we neglect our spiritual family. Gary and Sally lived in the same area that Gary had grown up in, so they had lots of family in the area. In fact, Gary’s parents lived just down the street from them. They also had two children who had full schedules. They had a lot of family obligations, yet somehow they balanced out their biological family with their spiritual one. And they’re still doing it today. They’re faithful grandparents, seeking to influence the next generation. Their daughter, Michelle, just had her sixth child so she now has six under six. Add to that, her husband is in the military and must often be gone, so they help out probably more than most grandparents. But they made time for us last weekend and were talking about interacting with other believers later that week. In fact, Gary even carved out time for a mission trip to Russia.

  One of my favorite shows is Bluebloods. I appreciate that included in each episode is the weekly family multi-generational Sunday dinner. In our anti-family culture, it’s refreshing. Yet, most of us tend to be extremists rather than balanced. We’re so determined sometimes to be family oriented that we become family obsessed.

  One of the greatest needs is for lost people and for new believers to see a normal Christian family in real time. Too many have no idea what a normal family is like. Normal may be eating in front of the TV, everyone yelling at one another, someone getting intoxicated. So to see a Christian family that’s not perfect yet seeking to faithfully live out God’s grace in spite of their redeemed sinfulness is a powerful message.

  So why are you here? The Christian life is not about me, it’s about Him, it’s about others. We grow in grace as others, new as well as “old” others, find significant time and a place in our lives. We must continually grow in selflessness and a spirit of sacrifice. It’s what Jesus has called us to. Each of us needs to be on the lookout for those who may be new, engaging them in conversation and looking for ways to build bridges with them outside of a worship service. With the warm weather and more outside activities, this is a great time to take some spiritual steps forward in ministering to others.

  Will you take some of those steps? It will help you grow and be more like Jesus who consistently loved and reached out to others.   

Looking for quality Christian books (and lots of other books) at very low prices. Check out our bookstore at resurrectedreads.com. 

 

I'm so busy....

“We all have one life to live, but if we are too busy to notice the world revolving around us, then we are not living.”  Rexon Wilson

Sometimes I’m concerned about ticking people off with what I write, but not this time. The ones that might be ticked off with my words here will probably never get around to reading it – they’re just too busy.

  What is it about “busyness” and American culture? Unfortunately, I have to confess that I’m a fellow sufferer. Some how we find value in being busy but it’s a skewed yardstick of significance. If you ask the average person, “How are you?” if they don’t mumble the obligatory “fine,” they nearly always hone in on our cultural default, “busy” or “I’m just so busy.”

  Sadly, it’s not just adults. A long, long time ago in a galaxy far away, kids actually got together after school or on weekends just to – play. Not any more, if a kid drops by a neighbor kid’s home to see if they can come out to play or just “hang,” if they’re even home, it has to be scheduled. And it’s not for a day or even a morning or afternoon, it’s perhaps half an hour or hour to just play. (Not to mention that play is often a video game requiring little creativity or imagination). Then, between sports, music lessons and homework – add a whole other factor with a blended family and rotating weekends – children are nearly as exhausted as their chauffeurs, I mean parents. From the CEO to grade school students, everyone talks about their packed schedule. There’s just no room for anything else.

  Yet, perhaps we should delete the word “busy” and replace that whole concept with something a lot more honest. Instead of the word “busy,” what if we used the term “prioritizing my time.” We don’t somehow squeeze events or people into a frantic schedule, instead we must make a choice to consciously schedule time. On a larger scale, let’s stop complaining we’re too busy. Let’s tell the truth instead, which is: “I haven’t prioritized my time for that.” “Busy” is something that happens to us; prioritizing our time is something we make a conscious decision about.

  Rather than looking at your schedule and thinking “I’m too busy,” instead, look at your schedule and ask yourself, “How am I prioritizing my time?” For most of us, this one change will cause us to think differently about our schedule. We can then move forward and begin looking for better ways to control our schedule, instead of acting like we’re puppets on a string, even victims, and letting it control us.

  Horribly destructive time use habits start early, very early. It’s so much a part of our culture that we never consider that something might be wrong. How did we end up living like this? Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we do this to our children? When did we forget that we’re human beings, not doings? Whatever happened to a world where kids get dirty, messy…even bored? Do we have to love our children so much that we over schedule them, making them stressed and busy — just like us? What happened to a world in which we can sit with the people we love and have slow conversations about the state of our heart and soul, conversations that slowly unfold, conversations with pregnant pauses and silences that we’re in no rush to fill? How did we create a world in which we have more and more to do with less time for leisure, less time for reflection, less time for community, less time to just be? As Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Yet, how are we supposed to have time to even examine our lives when we’re already so inordinately busy?

  Everyone has the same amount of time – 24 hours a day. To break free from the prison of the overly busy, you must first have an escape plan. It’s not going to be easy. There will be peer pressure, criticism and even perhaps shaming. You must persevere and determine to be a little ruthless.

  Where do we start? We must determine to ruthlessly cut unnecessary stuff out of our lives. Before we can determine what’s necessary and unnecessary, we must have a biblical worldview because what’s valuable to an unbeliever and what’s valuable to a Christ-follower are very different.

  For example, to a non-believer, material things and position have great value. Yet, to have things and position demands more hours working to pay for those things and to maintain that position, not to mention the potential opportunity of moving up the ladder. But then you’re often so “busy,” you rarely have time to enjoy those things you’re working so many hours to pay for. The position that you thought that you needed often becomes a ball and chain, rather than a springboard to fulfillment.

  A believer realizes that things, position, etc. are merely tools. They’re to be managed for God’s glory and purpose, to be enjoyed as gifts from a loving Heavenly Father. To get though to that position is going to require being a bit ruthless. One of the most dangerous American myths is that “you can have it all.” You can’t. You must choose. To have the best, you must be ruthless and determined in your choice.

  How do we accomplish this? First, we must be very acquainted with God’s instruction Book, the Bible. You’ll never have the right values if you’re using the wrong playbook. Then, pray and ask God for wisdom in choosing and evaluating (James 1:5). After you have done that…

  Begin to set your priorities. This isn’t all that complicated: God, marriage, family, church family, vocation, community, personal space, etc. Those are basic for everyone. With those priorities in mind, what do you want to accomplish in your life? Where do you want to be in a month? Six months? A year? What do you need to do each day to get there? Put daily and weekly time blocks in your calendar. Begin with the non-negotiables, then fill in any time left with the non-essentials.

  Plan ahead. Life is a lot like building a house. You start with a set of plans. Then, you secure the materials and workers to begin the project. If you have no plan and are unprepared, that house is going to take a long, long time to build.   

  Change the way you describe your time. Instead of saying to yourself or others that “you’re just too busy,” instead say “I’ve chosen not to prioritize that” because that’s the truth. Whenever you don’t do something in your life, it’s because you’ve chosen not to prioritize that activity. But choosing to prioritize useless activity over active steps that coincide with your values and towards your life goals is a choice you’ll regret.

  So how’s your week looking? Have you allowed yourself to become so busy that you can’t see straight? Are the days ticking by without you reaching your goals? Or, are you consciously prioritizing your life so you can focus on the most important? “So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom” (Psalms 90:12).