Loneliness

“Sometimes the person who tries to keep everyone happy

is the most lonely person.”

Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Snapchat. Email, text, instant messages, cellphone calls. There are more ways than ever to connect with others — yet many, more than we can imagine, continually feel the hollow ache of loneliness. Loneliness isn’t constrained by age, gender, marital status or job title. CEOs feel it, as do cubicle dwellers. New moms, granddads, recent college grads and grade school kids struggle with loneliness.

  Americans are lonelier than ever—even though opportunities for social connection have exponentially increased. Even with affordable phone calls and free email, ultimately we talk to each other less. Despite the prevalence of car ownership and the low cost of cross-country air travel, we spend less time with our families. After decades of bowling leagues, Americans began bowling alone. In today’s age of social media, we’re not even bowling alone…we’re scrolling alone.

  Even royalty isn’t immune to loneliness. While normally fiercely guarded about her private life, Duchess Kate of Cambridge spoke candidly about how life with young children was isolating. “It is lonely at times and you do feel quite isolated, but actually so many other mothers are going through exactly what you are going through.” The king of “Rock and Roll,” Elvis Presley before he died wrote, “I feel so alone sometimes. I’d love to be able to sleep. I’ll probably not rest. I have no need for all this, help me Lord.” Former surgeon general, Dr. Vivek Murthy, was the first to label loneliness an epidemic. Dr. Murthy demonstrated that loneliness causes “an insidious type of stress” that leads to increased risk of heart disease, arthritis and diabetes. Loneliness has the same effect on mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

  The first thing that God said was bad was being “alone” (Genesis 2:18). God doesn’t want us to be lonely and if there is one place that someone shouldn’t be lonely, it’s in church, BUT too often they are.

  It’s apparent when someone is sitting or standing alone, that loneliness may be an issue for them. It’s why we continually encourage you at Grace to not let someone sit alone, to break out of our normal friend circles, to engage others. It might be something as simple as asking someone if they’d like to join you for a cup of coffee at our Coffee Café after the service. It would be a terrible failure on our part if someone walked through the doors of our church and we never sought to connect or engage them.

  Yet, there are those who attend each week who struggle with a deep sense of loneliness. It could be a child or teen who feels insecure. Just chatting briefly, asking them questions, listening and seeking to encourage them can make a big difference. It might be someone who is married to an unsaved spouse or is divorced or lost a spouse. It could be someone who is single.

  It takes so little to make someone feel welcomed and accepted. Just a simple smile is a great way to start. And if anyone should genuinely smile, it’s a believer. For a believer, the very worst of this world is temporary. Not only that, we are never alone.

  God designed the local church to be a place of deep friendship and community. It’s why we have Grace Groups, which begin this morning at 10:45 am. Yes, we want to share and see you grow in biblical truth. Our main purpose though is to give you an opportunity to begin to peel back the masks that we all wear and draw closer to other believers. As we become more transparent, we draw closer to each other. It’s as we spend time together that we discover rhythms of true community. We want to be a healthy community. Spiritually healthy groups encourage, challenge, and support one another. And while other groups meet during the week, we’ve purposefully scheduled our primary groups on Sundays to make it very convenient. We know football is important for some. It’s why our groups are all done at 11:30 am, so you can be home for the kick-off.

  Sometimes a spouse doesn’t desire to attend. Most couples drive two cars. Compromise and let the one who is interested stay. And please, as parents, make this part of your children’s lives. Children who don’t learn the importance of community during their formative years will easily jettison being part of a church during their college and adult years. As a parent, prepare for that by helping them instill a habit of spiritual community. 
  Healthy community requires a frequency of local interactions. Jesus models perfect being-in-relationship for us. He was never not in relationship. He entered this world not by splitting the heavens but by gently growing in His mother’s womb. He entered a normal family, spent His childhood and early adulthood in obscurity, and then launched His ministry by inviting others to come follow Him and be His disciples. Even on the eve of His crucifixion, Jesus gathered for a meal with His disciples, then led them to pray with Him at Gethsemane. With His final breaths, He instructed His disciples to care for His mother. If relationships were essential to Jesus, shouldn’t they be for me and you, too?

  Occasionally, Jesus went off to pray in solitude, but generally, He did everything with this ragtag bunch. His life illustrates that even our Savior refused to live in isolation. If relationships were essential to Him, shouldn’t they be for us, too? Like Him, we exist for relationships.

  Created in the image of a triune—and therefore eternally relational—God, to be fully alive means to live-in relationships. If Jesus was history’s most “fully alive” human, it shouldn’t surprise us that a person can’t become fully human without a community. God created us for community.

  Grace groups, a place for community, start today! Please join one!

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

No Lone Ranger Christians

“Some Christians try to go to heaven alone, in solitude. But believers are not compared to bears or lions or other animals that wander alone. Those who belong to Christ are sheep in this respect, that they love to get together. Sheep go in flocks, and so do God’s people.”   Charles Spurgeon

If you boiled down the Christian life to one word what would it word be? At the risk of being too simplistic, I believe the word would be relationships. When Jesus was asked the most important commandment, He talked first about our relationship with God and then with others. He pointedly indicated one’s relationship with others must be a close second to our relationship with God. “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets’” (Matt. 22:35-40). Relationships are at the heart of Christian living.

  As a human being, community is in your design. We were created by God to live in vital relationships with each other. To understand why community is so vital, we must understand that we’re made in the image of God—and exactly what sort of God in whose image we were made.

  In Genesis we learn that humans are made in the image of the triune God. This means that, as humans, we’re made in the image of a God who is a “We,” not a “Me.” You’ll notice in Genesis that God says, “let US make man in our image.” God’s three-ness has huge implications for what it means to be human. Since we’re made in the image of the God who exists in community, we’re a being who has community hard-wired into our DNA. We’re designed for community. When we ignore relationships, we cut against the grain of our very humanity. We can’t isolate ourselves without becoming deeply broken and lonely.

  God told Adam at the beginning, “it is not good for man to be alone.” Adam was lonely not because he was imperfect, but because he was perfectly made in the image of the God of community. There was no sin, there were no relationship breakdowns. He was designed for “other,” not just self.  

  At Grace Church, we are committed to community. We are committed to being part of God’s solution to eradicate loneliness and don’t want anyone to be alone. We were built to know and be known because we’re made in the Father’s image.

  Our Grace  Community groups exist to foster this basic “life together” for which we were built. They’re vital to healthy Christian living. Yes, they will help us grow in our knowledge of God and His Word BUT that’s not their main purpose. Their main purpose is to help us draw closer to each other by drawing closer to the Lord. It’s unusual to find a growing Christian who is not part of some type of small group. That’s because…

  We are redeemed for community. When Adam fell into sin, we were not only separated from God, we were also separated from each another. The world was relationally fractured, resulting in racism, murders, strife, alienation, and every other kind of societal breakdown. A critical aspect of God’s work in Christ is to heal broken relationships caused by sin. And God has a wonderful plan for relational healing – the local church. God is a community-forming God. He never brings a person into a relationship with Himself, without bringing them into a relationship with others.

  In the New Testament the local church is described with strikingly intense metaphors. Christians are likened to “living stones” in a holy temple. We’re called “fellow citizens” of the kingdom of God and “members of the same household.” Throughout the New Testament we’re called “brothers and sisters.” Scripture is wonderfully clear. The gospel unites us in relationships closer than even with our blood relatives. Jesus connects people of different classes, races and genders into “one new man.”

  It’s impossible to be a Christian on your own. It’s a violation of God’s plan and it’s a sin to be a “Lone Ranger” Christian. God has redeemed you to be in a deep, rich, close-knit community.

  Love is the identifying behavior of a Christian. Jesus said, ““By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35). The only way you can know that you love other believers is if you actually spend time with them and know them. You can’t truly love someone you don’t know or have little contact with.

  There’s a famous character in Dostoyevsky’s Brother’s Karamazov who considers himself a humanitarian. He loves humanity and gives lots of his money to charities. The problem is that he hates people.

  The power of the early church is seen in that former enemies (Jews & Gentiles) live together as “brothers and sisters” in a close-knit community. Community is the context where our love is tested. How do I know if I love others? You must get to know a real “other.” You get into close Christian community with a person that’s different than yourself, even a person who was once an enemy. Community is the only place where God’s agape love is revealed. That kind of love happens best in small groups.

  Community matters enough to be prioritized. It must be more than an afterthought. It must be our focus.

  It grieves me that many in our church miss this vital aspect of the Christian life. We’ve sought to make our groups very convenient in that many of them meet on Sundays after the morning service. There’s not a more important ministry in the life of our church than our small groups. It’s truly that important. They begin again on September 15^th at 10:45 am.

  Please plan to join one. Please make it a priority! Your spiritual health depends on it!

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Are YOU connected?

“A thorough knowledge of the Bible is worth more than a

college education.”  Theodore Roosevelt

  True story – three women were visiting Bellevue, Washington and were out after midnight, unable to find their way back to their hotel. After asking their GPS to re-route them, they took what they thought was a road that would lead them to the highway. Instead, their SUV ended up sinking into deep water. It seems that the “road” turned out to be a boat launch, and the water a lake. All three managed to get out safely, but by the time the tow truck arrived, the SUV was completely submerged.

  I’ve had that experience too, though not nearly as serious. Some years ago I remember my GPS directing me deeper and deeper into a subdivision for the local Walmart. It quickly became apparent that the GPS was wrong and I never did find the Walmart.

  Think about this. When do you need a map or GPS? When you’re going somewhere you have never been. When it comes to life and eternity, we are all traveling somewhere we have never been.

  Last week school started locally. Students entered new grades. Some entered college for the first time or a new stage in college. All of us are continually moving into new phases of life. We move from being single to marriage, to having kids to having teens, to having an empty nest to having married adult children, to having grandchildren to having great-grandchildren. Every part of life has a new season from education to work to a career. It happens with housing. Most couples start small and rent, yet will finally move to owning a home.

  Life is in a constant state of change. Heraclitus, the Greek philosopher, was correct, “No man ever steps into the same river twice for its not the same river and he’s not the same man.”

  At Grace, we believe without apology in Sola Scriptura. That simply means that all truth necessary for our eternal salvation and spiritual life is taught either explicitly or implicitly in Scripture. It’s not a claim that all truth of every kind is found in Scripture. For example, Scripture has little or nothing to say about DNA structures, microbiology or even the rules of Chinese grammar. Scripture though is a “more sure Word,” standing above all other truth in its authority and certainty.

  We believe every person should first study God’s Word for themselves (2 Timothy 2:15). Yet, what’s lost in an individualistic culture is the vital importance of group Bible study. The model of group study and learning permeates God’s Word. Jesus chose 12 disciples to teach and do life with. The Apostles traveled, studied, prayed and did mission work as a team. God designed the local church to be a family, a body, an army – to name just a few New Testament metaphors.

  When we study in a group, we profit from multiple insights and perspectives. The amount of combined knowledge and experience will be broader than when we study on our own. We gain much by learning from others. We also serve others by sharing our own knowledge and experience. It opens up a place for us for discussion and application of what we’re learning. As we share what we’re learning, it becomes more imbedded in our hearts. We can ask each other questions, share real-life stories of how Scripture has transformed us and share struggles of faith.

  God never intended Christianity to be a “me, God, and my Bible” lifestyle. We’re designed for community. God’s Word teaches that we greatly need each other. What are some benefits of group Bible study?

  In a group we realize that others have similar struggles and problems. We often think there’s something uniquely wrong with us. When we hear that others have similar struggles, we feel both relieved and encouraged.

  In a group we can encourage each other in our faith. The Apostle Paul taught us that when we see the faith in another believer, it encourages us in our own (Romans 1:12). In a group, people share personal insights and testimonies. As we share, others see new ways they can draw closer to God and new steps they can take with others.

  Change is hard. There’s nothing like a word of encouragement when someone feels hopeless or discouraged. Members of a study group support one another, both during meetings and outside of them (2 Corinthians 1:4).

  In a group we can use the spiritual gifts that God has entrusted to us to minister to each other. God never intended spiritual leaders to do all of the ministering. He’s given each of us gifts and talents to encourage, teach, and challenge one another. Group Bible studies provide an ideal setting for Christians to minister to each other (Hebrews 10:24).

  In a group we help hold each other accountable. When someone announces he or she plans to work on making a change, others in the group may ask how it’s going the next time they’re together. It can be done in a positive, encouraging way. Or, group members may make a plan to be accountable to each other. As Proverbs 27:17 says, “iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Then, when members know that they have an upcoming meeting, they’re motivated to prepare and do their “homework.”

  In a group we pray with and for each other. God honors and answers prayer. As we begin to pull back the masks, we become more transparent and are more deeply connected with each other. Then, we’re more open to praying for each other. We begin to share burdens and prayer requests or even become prayer partners  (Matthew 18:20).

  In a group we help each other in tough times. Periodically, all of us feel isolated, alone or frightened when facing health, emotional, family, financial or spiritual problems. Group members help provide a “safety net,” supporting one another through those hard times. Too many Christians lack close friends. When believers get together in a smaller group, close friendships form and often remain long after the group ends. 

  God said, “It’s not good to be alone,” so don’t be! Join a group Bible study!

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.