Changing Your Recently Played Playlist

 

“Your life today is a result of your thinking yesterday. 
Your life tomorrow will be determined by what you think today.” John Maxwell 

Do you remember listening to the radio? I hardly listen to the radio anymore but before Spotify and podcasts, I was an avid listener. I’d start my day getting ready, listening to news radio. Then, I had a couple of favorites I’d listen to on the way to the office or running errands. Usually, I had three or four I’d bounce between to avoid commercials or announcers chatting about what they had for dinner. I’m one of those, “just give me the music” types, though today I listen to a lot of podcasts.
  I’d fall between two extremes while listening to the radio. There would always be a song or two that when it came on, I’d stick to that station to listen to it. There would be a tinge of regret if I’d missed most of it. Then, other songs came on and I couldn’t change stations fast enough. The song had become so popular stations were overplaying it. For example, most of us loved Celine Dion’s My Heart Will Go On, even if we hadn’t seen Titanic, but it soon was overplayed and nearly annoying.
  Spotify has an option “recently played” I rarely use. If I’ve listened to a song recently, I don’t want to hear it again. Yet Spotify thought it would be a great idea (without being asked,) to develop playlists of artists or genre I tend to listen to. I don’t use it because unless a song really touches my heart, I don’t want to hear it again in a short amount of time with a few exceptions. CeCe Winan's, Believe For It, was my encouragement song during Covid. Hillsong’s Another in the Fire comforted me during a dark valley a few years ago. Other than that, I tend to be “one and done.”
  While that’s true with my listening habits, I have to work for it to be true with my thought life. I struggle with a “recently played” mental list that’s not healthy. While I love 1 Peter 5:7, “Casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.” Or Philippians 4:6-7: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” It does though take mental work to do this. As Kent Hughes says, I must sweat some “holy sweat.” Too easily anxious or negative thoughts play again on my mental playlist. It’s by God’s grace and the empowerment of His Spirit that I’m able to change the channel.
  Wouldn’t it be wonderful to wake up in the middle of the night thinking about how the Lord has blessed you and then have difficultly going back to sleep because you’re so overwhelmed by God’s goodness? Unfortunately, that’s not the playlist that I usually wake up in the middle of the night with.
  My problem is that I let my sin contaminated mind choose my playlist. If I want a healthy mental playlist, I must choose it. As Byron Katie writes, “It’s not our thoughts but the attachment to our thoughts that causes suffering.” The attachment to our thoughts is our Recently Played playlist.
  Most of us have negative rat mazes we repeatedly return to. A Christian therapist once told me that most of us have about eight that we cycle in and out of. As Rick Warren says, “God is far more interested in changing your mind than changing your circumstances.” Thinking produces behavior.
  Philippians 4:8 has a healthy Top Eight playlist to replace what Zig Ziglar dubbed “stinkin’ thinkin’.” “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
  Mentally play what’s true. The “true” is that which corresponds to reality. God and His Word are the final test for truth. But we’re prone to Satan’s lies. The only way we can think on the truth is to steep ourselves in God’s Word. Truth is the first test. We’re not to ponder that which is dishonest, untrue or unreliable. For example, we can tend to be anxious about the future, but the future isn’t “true.” We’re not to focus on the “what ifs.”
  Mentally play what’s honorable. The word means “that which inspires reverence or awe; dignified, worthy of respect.” Christ-followers are to take life seriously. We’re to live in light of eternity. This doesn’t mean we can’t appreciate clean humor. Yet too many ponder the trivial and even fight about it because we focus on it. For example, someone gave us a one finger wave and we’re mad about it for hours.
  Mentally play what’s just. Only God is completely just. “Justice” means “in conformity to God’s standards.” Not, “Is it right in my eyes?” or “in the eyes of others?” but “Is it right in God’s eyes?” The media and social media are filled with tales of injustice. If I dwell on it, it will anger or discourage me. Instead, I must focus on God’s work and justice.
  Mentally play what’s pure. The word means “undefiled, chaste, holy.” It touches the whole area of moral purity. Is your thought-life clean? It fits with “get your mind out of the gutter.” If your mind is in the gutter, it ends up covered with slime. I need to think on what’s morally right, pure thoughts, words, and deeds. This is particularly vital because a thought life produces behavior. To live a pure life, you must think about pure things.
  Mentally play what’s lovely. This is what’s pleasing, agreeable, and attractive. Jesus Christ is inherently attractive, so we should think often on our Savior. And what a lovely world He has given us from the blooming of flowers to the purity of fresh fallen snow. The innocence of a child or someone’s kindness fits “lovely.” Here’s an easy guideline: If it’s lovely, it helps make you lovely so it should be on your playlist?  
  Mentally play what’s commendable. It refers to something that “deservedly enjoys a good reputation.” It’s tempting to dwell on the mental trash of bad news. We need to open our eyes to see the positive, constructive, and what builds up. If you learn to tune in to that which is admirable and good, you’ll find it. Learn to think about those things.
  Mentally play what’s excellent. Excellent refers to virtue and praiseworthy, “those things that God would approve of.” Excellent for me is someone who has character, who is kind or works hard. It’s watching an older couple who are still sweethearts or a parent taking time with their child. It can be a worker diligent and caring about his or her work. Those things are excellent, and I must think about them more.
  Mentally play what’s worthy of praise. Every attribute and deed of God is praiseworthy. It’s why we should continually think about how great God is and on the marvelous works He has done, both in creation and in history. With those around us we must focus on their strong points. It helps us think about this more when we’re appreciative and affirming.
  Do you know why so many are negative and complainers? They have the wrong mental playlist. It all begins in the way that you think.
  The Bible commands us to fill our minds with godly, positive thoughts. Thoughts become actions, actions become behaviors, and our behaviors become our lives. A key question to ask yourself periodically is: “What’s on my Recently Played playlist?”

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head

 

“Criticism is an indirect form of self-boasting.” Emmet Fox

 

  No doubt we embarrass our children, but when certain songs are played, we step back in time and start acting like giddy teenagers. All of us have “our” music. There were those we sang or danced to during our youth that has a special place in our memories. 

  I loved the music of B.J. Thomas. When I learned that he passed away at the end of May, immediately one of his top songs, Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head, starting playing on the jukebox of my mind. 

  Thomas married singer-songwriter Gloria Richardson in December 1968 and they had three daughters. But shortly after his career began, he became dependent on drugs and alcohol, which led to his marriage nearly ending. 

  Wonderfully, on January 28, 1976, B.J. committed his life to Jesus Christ. A month later his wife, Gloria did, too. Because of his newfound faith, he began recording gospel albums. His was the first Christian album to go platinum and he became the biggest contemporary Christian musician of that time. He put out a massively successful album of Christian music yet found himself confronted by an evangelical culture eager for stars but instantly, angrily critical of them. His biggest critics were fellow believers. Hailed as a new evangelical icon but then heckled, booed, and berated by born-again fans who didn’t think he was performing his Christianity right. 

  “I think it’s a really sad commentary when people who want to refer to themselves as quote-Christians-unquote would want to come out and hear someone just to boo them,” he said in a 2019 interview. “That to me was always tough to deal with, and I just stopped making 100 percent gospel records.” 

  His most public clash came in 1982 after he’d won his 5^th Gospel Grammy. He sang a string of his secular hits to an Oklahoma audience and a woman started shouting at him to talk about Jesus. He told her he wished Jesus would make her be quiet and then said, “I’m not going to put up with this” and walked off stage. Someone shouted, “You’re losing your witness, B.J.,” and there were scattered boos. He returned to the stage and continued the show, but not before critiquing the fans. “You people love to get together with your gospel singers and talk about how you lead all the pop singers to the Lord. But when you get them in front of you, you can't love them, can you? I've got Jesus, but you can't love me.” He complained that Christians “can’t seem to hear somebody sing. It’s always got to be some kind of Christian cliché or Bible song, or they feel it’s their right before God to reject and judge and scoff.” 

  Isn’t that heartbreaking? We who are brothers and sisters in Christ are often the most critical and even vicious with each other over non-essentials. We’re rightly appalled by “cancel culture,” yet Christians have their own version of “cancel culture.” Frequently, it’s because we’re ignorant of Scripture. The Bible teaches soul liberty over non-essentials and non-biblical issues (Romans 14 & 1 Corinthians 9). At Grace Church, we’re committed to the great quote by Augustine: In essentials unity, in non-essentials liberty, in all things charity. While we dare not compromise where the Bible is clear, i.e., doctrine or what are referred to as the fundamentals of the faith, many want to criticize and divide over personal preferences. Why can Christians be so critical? 

  We’re so focused on the negatives of sin, we overlook the positives of salvation. When God repeated the Law for Israel, He gave them both blessings and cursings. We tend to focus on the one prohibited tree in the Garden overlooking the countless ones God encouraged and freely gave. The fourth chapter of Ephesians is a wonderful example of sinful behaviors to abandon, yet godly, fulfilling ones to replace them with. We foolishly tend to look for what’s wrong in God’s world rather than all that’s right. 

  Our thinking is contaminated by a lost world rather than transformed by the gospel. This world is negative, critical, and hopeless. Take a 24 hour period and mark down how many negative or critical things you see, hear, or are told. Tabulate that against how many encouraging or positive ones. Believers are commanded to be in the world but not of it. Even our thinking which will bear fruit in our behavior is to be encouragingly different. Philippians 4:8 commands us: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” 

  Pride and pettiness are enticing. The Pharisees who crucified Jesus believed they were more spiritual because they had the highest standards and the longest list of “don’ts.” That was brought home to me recently as I read criticism of The Chosen, the new multi-season TV show about the life of Christ. It’s truly seeking to honor God’s Word and the Lord Jesus. But if you Google it, you’ll find Christians who object to it because the series invents dialogue and backstories for Bible characters. Others are offended by on-screen depictions of Jesus based on the 2^nd Commandment. 

  Pride tempts us to judge things as wrong where Scripture is at best very vague. This habit of censuring other’s preferences is found in every sphere of life from entertainment to music to career to diet choices to vaccines to political affiliation to dress, ad nauseum. While there are clear biblical boundaries, yet what’s frequently labeled biblically wrong is usually a personal preference. When we have “higher standards” we easily succumb to the repugnant sin of pride, becoming petty and critical. God’s Word is clear that those who are truly righteous are humble and gracious. 

  As much as possible, Christians are to be the Yes People. Our focus and mental diet must be on what’s right in God’s creation and His countless blessings. As Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 1:19-20, “For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, whom we proclaimed among you…was not Yes and No, but in Him it is always Yes. For all the promises of God find their Yes in Him.” While we must not close our eyes to sin and evil, that is not where we are to mentally dwell. Instead, we’re to think and live as Heaven’s citizens now. As we do, a pessimistic world is attracted to the grace and goodness of our Heavenly Father! 

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Conspiracy Theories

“People love conspiracy theories.”  Neil Armstrong

Just recently a Reddit user posted an unsubstantiated theory that the furniture company, Wayfair is involved in child sex trafficking, suggesting certain products on its website may actually be representing children for sale. The conspiracy theory went viral.

  The user posted a screengrab of Wayfair’s website showing armoires that cost five figures with human names for the products, which led them to speculate that the pricey cabinets were, in fact, people for sale. But there was no truth to the accusation. The products in question are industrial grade cabinets accurately priced. Still Wayfair temporarily removed the products from their site to rename them and provide more in-depth descriptions and photos that accurately depict them, clarifying the price point.

  Horribly, Adolph Hitler was right, ““If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.” I wonder how much time and money Wayfair has had to spend to kill that lie. But Wayfair is not alone. Most companies and leaders know what it is to be slandered and lies about them to be accepted without question. 

  With the easy access to social media and the gravity of the COVID-19 pandemic, the current crisis is ripe for conspiracy theories. Roughly one-third of Americans believe that the COVID-19 outbreak was intentionally planned by people in power. 71% say they’ve heard at least “a little” about a conspiracy theory that the coronavirus outbreak was intentionally planned by powerful people, including 19% who say they have heard “a lot” about this. Most conspiracy theories share a common premise: A powerful group of elite individuals are withholding or distorting the truth. Only the elites know the truth and everyone else believes a lie.

  It hasn’t helped that the virus is new and medical responses are continually changing and developing. As a result, there have been contradictory approaches and information (and misinformation). Then, it originated in a repressive country without any freedom of information or freedom of the press. It’s a recipe ripe for paranoia and wild speculation.

  Yet, the Lord Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth and the life” (John 14:6). Ephesians 4:25 commands us, “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.” 1 Thessalonians 5:21 admonishes us to “test everything; hold fast what is good.”

  So, do I believe that there are conspiracies or plots? It’s possible BUT I don’t know and neither do you. We don’t have proof, nor are most of us in a place where we’ll ever be able to confirm a conspiracy. And if it is actually taking place, what will we be able to do about it other than build a cabin in the north woods and hide out for the remainder of our days?

  What is unequivocally true is that Christians are to be people of truth, who live in truth, think on truth, and share the truth! Too often the people of truth are the most susceptible to being consumed by conspiracy theories. As the people of truth, we seem to easily slip into a bottomless rabbit hole of conspiracy theories. Yet, it hurts us and it hinders what God has called us to do – share His truth. Sharing unsubstantiated rumors undermine our message of absolute truth that determines one’s eternal destiny.

  Isn’t it also possible that many sincere people who may differ in their worldview from us are being slandered? Scripture teaches that slander is a serious sin and that God hates slander (Prov. 6:16, 19). James calls it demonic behavior (James 3:15-16). Engaging in slander is scandalous.

  Yet, many Christians share hearsay. You can hardly glance at social media without seeing a Christian (often a pastor or Christian leader) posting claims that they can’t possibly know to be true. They’re not Washington insiders or international authorities. They’re merely spreading what they learned from what is too often not a credible source.

  We must remember that our Enemy is the “father of lies” (Jn 8:44). Soon after Satan entered the Garden (Genesis 3), he spread the first conspiracy theory, convincing Eve that the most powerful of “conspirators”—the Creator God was secretly trying to keep the first humans from having their eyes opened in a way that would make them “like God, knowing good and evil.” Eve became the first in a long line to believe powerful forces were secretly conspiring and withholding secret information.

  Instead of thinking about what we’re unsure of, Scripture commands us: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Phil. 4:8). There are serious consequences when we ruminate on conspiracy theories instead of what we know is true.

  We soak our souls in fear. COVID-19 is a serious virus. When we focus on what’s rumor and can’t substantiate those claims, we increase our own anxiety and that of those who listen to us. One of the most repeated commands in Scripture is that we are not to live in fear (2 Tim. 1:7).

  We open ourselves up to anger and rage. When we feel helpless and that we have little control, we easily succumb to a very dangerous emotion – rage. Fear can quickly morph into anger because it provides an object: they are to blame, they caused this, they deserve retribution. There is nearly always some target that we can use as a scapegoat.

  We drown in doubt. The darkest day this world has ever known was when our Lord was crucified. Three days later, Jesus rose from the grave. But for those three days His disciples were drowning in doubt. Like that first Easter God confronts our fears with His presence. God is “with us” (Ps. 23:4). He has “called you by name” (Isa. 43:1), and nothing can separate us from our Heavenly Father and His great love for us” (Rom. 8:35-39).

  We hurt our witness. The gospel already seems too wonderful to be true. That God loved us and sacrificed His Son to pay for our sin, that salvation is a free gift and we can be forgiven by accepting God’s gift of salvation. It’s unbelievable! When we spread theories we can’t substantiate, it hurts our gospel witness. Not only that, but we’re distracted. We become “conspiracy theory evangelists” when God has called us to share His message of hope and forgiveness.

  This world is terrified and has great difficulty with truth, yet we’re called to be God’s people of truth. During this season of isolation, fear, and uncertainty, let’s determine to be intentional about leaning into God, His truth, and engaging others. It’s a real remedy for hurting hearts. Our world needs God’s truth. Let’s determine to share that!

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

The Eeyore Syndrome

“If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden.”  Frances Hodgson Burnett

  Eeyore, (from Winnie the Pooh) the old grey donkey, stood by the stream, and looked at himself in the water. “Pathetic,” Eeyore said. “That’s what it is, pathetic.” He turned and walked slowly down the stream for twenty yards, splashed across it, and walked slowly back to the other side. Then he looked at himself in the water again. “As I thought,” he said. “No better from this side…Pathetic, that’s what it is.”

  This world is filled with Eeyores. Those who are chronically pessimistic, gloomy, depressed, the glass is half empty people. Churches are filled with Eeyores. Chronically negative individuals infected with The Eeyore Syndrome. Someone with The Eeyore Syndrome is: habitually critical, petty, sad, melancholy, gloomy etc., for more days than not. They’re over concerned with their problems, no matter how small and have a round the clock “poor me” attitude. They can find a little black rain cloud on a sun-drenched day. They find joy in being miserable or being the emissaries of bad news. Often those with Eeyore Syndrome claim they’re only realists. And they might be, if this world was all there is…but it’s not!

  While God has not called us to have our heads in the clouds or to park our brains and common sense at the door, it’s a sin to be a pessimist. We’re also not called to be a Winnie the Pooh where life is simple and the next honey jar is just around the corner. What God has called us as Christians to be are Sanctified Optimists!

  A pessimist believes Satan is in charge, that this is his world and he’s in control. There is nothing good because Satan is so bad. Then, a realist believes only in what they can see. They’re facts and figures individuals. Life for them is limited to the world of the empirical.

  Yet, God has called us, as those who live by faith, to be Sanctified Optimists. Why? Because Satan is a trespasser. This really is my Father’s world. While it may not appear to be the case, Jesus is King, though He’s not yet taken back His throne. We must be Sanctified Optimists to obey Scripture and have the “mind of Christ” (Philippians 2:5). Sadly, we’ve succumbed to Satan’s reign, domain and worldview when…

  We continually think and expect the worst. We’re so negative we can even take a positive situation and turn it into a negative. We talk ourselves into misery, gloom and doom. Basically, if we want to bad enough, we can find something negative about anything and everything…and many do.  

  We turn being negative into a positive thing. We justify our negative attitude. “This way I’m not disappointed when something bad happens.” We rationalize it’s self-protection. Actually, it’s negativity disguised as wisdom. No matter how we camouflage it, it’s a lack of faith in God and His goodness. The bottom line is we see and focus on what we’re looking for. We either continually see Satan at work or we see the Savior at work.

  And it’s true, there is a lot of Satan’s work, there is so much evil in this world. Yet, when we focus primarily on Satan’s work, we act as if this is his world and he’s in charge. He’s not! He’s a conquered foe. Jesus crushed his head on the Cross (Genesis 3:15). Yet, most of us, even those of us who are the people of faith, primarily only see and think about Satan’s actions and work. No wonder we’re depressed, melancholic and pessimistic.

  I’m convinced we must by the power of the Spirit in faith proactively look for Jesus and His working in this world. It must be our focus. It needs to be our mental diet. While it is not natural, it is supernatural. And when we do this, it’s so freeing. We’re obedient to Philippians 4:8: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Our mental diet is not to be on Satan’s work, but God’s work and world.

  When we begin to look for Jesus we’re more attentive to common grace. So when someone is honest or kind or thoughtful, even if they’re a pagan, even if they’re an atheist – is that of Satan or of Jesus? It’s of Jesus, even if they don’t realize it or are opposed to Him. It’s the fulfillment of James 1:17 in everyday life, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights…” Sanctified Optimism means we begin to notice Jesus is in control and working in this world. It means we acknowledge and thank Him for working in our world, even when a lost world doesn’t have a clue it is doing His bidding.

  When we begin to look for Jesus we’re more attentive to divine grace. It changes our prayer life. We pray in faith, knowing nothing is too hard for God (Luke 1:17). We’re not foolish, yet set aside cynicism. We stop limiting God or putting Him in our box of doubt.

  The Bible is a case history of Sanctified Optimism. It literally overflows with Sanctified Optimism. A favorite of mine is when Jesus met Peter and said to him, “You are Simon son of John. You shall be called Cephas—which translated is Peter [Stone].” Peter went from sand to stone in the hands of Jesus. It’s the Sanctified Optimism of Jesus.

  Many of us were Peters prior to coming to Christ. No one would have ever imagined how God in His grace would revolutionize our lives. Each of us has several Peters or Peterettes in our own lives. It’s frequently the person you think is least likely to ever come to Christ. But are you praying in faith they will? Are you praying for God to work and intervene? You may be praying for the next Paul?

  Those with The Eeyore Syndrome hardly pray, if at all. Why would they? They don’t believe it makes any difference. Yet, people of faith, those with a biblical worldview and Sanctified Optimism are people of prayer. 

  Do you need to change who you see? Does your prayer life need to radically change? Maybe you should start with, “Lord, help me to stop just seeing Satan at work and begin seeing Jesus working in this fallen world. Help me to grow and have more Jesus’ moments.” 

Looking for quality used Christian books and other types of books at prices lower than even Amazon. Check out our family's online used bookstore at resurrectedreads.com or visit our store at the Waterford Unique Antique Market at 209 North Milwaukee Street in Waterford, WI --  262.534.3500. 

The High Cost of Negativity

“One of my main regrets in life is giving considerable thought to inconsiderate people.”  Jarod Kintz

  Church researcher and writer, Thom Rainer, recently wrote: “Few people are truly aware of the constant requests, complaints, and criticisms pastors and other church leaders receive. I must admit, however, I was surprised when I asked church leaders on Twitter to share some of the more unusual comments they have received…I was most surprised at the really strange things people tell pastors…I narrowed my selection to twenty-five, but it could have been much higher.” Here are a few of the best ones...

  “We need a small group for cat lovers.” “You need to change your voice.” “Our expensive coffee is attracting too many hipsters.”  “Preachers who don’t wear suits and ties aren’t saved. It’s in the Bible.”  “I don’t like the color of the towels in the women’s restroom.”  “Your wife never compliments me about my hair or dress.” “Not enough people signed up for the church golf tournament. You have poor leadership skills.” “I think you are trying to preach caffeineism.” “If Jesus sang from the red hymnals, why can’t we?” “I don’t like the brand of donuts in the foyer.” “You shouldn’t drink water when you preach.”  “The toilet paper is on the wrong way in the ladies restroom. It’s rolled under.” “Did you see me waving in the back of the worship center? You preached too long. It was time to eat!”  “The eggs were not scrambled enough at the senior adult breakfast.” 

  Like most pastors, periodically, I hear silly comments like that. After three decades of ministry, I’m fairly thick skinned (some think I’m “thickheaded”). But if you let them, no matter who you are, negative comments can bother you.

  These are a few things I do when I hear negative comments. First, I consider the source. If the person is chronically negative, rarely has anything positive or productive to say, I ignore it. Then, I consider whether the person is part of the team or just a spectator. If someone is not serving or active or a member, but just a spectator, filling a spot, I tend to tune it out. If they’re critical at our church and not part of helping us reach our world for Christ, as far as I’m concerned they can find another church and be critical there…and it won’t bother me. The third thing I do though when someone is chronically negative and critical, I encourage myself by praising the Lord I don’t have to live with them. I truly feel compassion if they’re married, for whoever they’re married to. I’m just happy it’s not me!

  That’s because there are few things which kill love and intimacy as much as pettiness. Apparently, King Solomon had some petty people in his life. He appears to be writing from firsthand experience…“It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife” (Proverbs 25:24). Or, “A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike; to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one's right hand” (Proverbs 27:15-16). Probably, because Solomon had so many wives, he addresses this in the feminine gender. Yet, pettiness is a genderless malady – both men and women can be negaholics.

  Sadly, for those who are petty and negaholics, they often don’t realize it. It’s so much a part of their life; it’s their normal. Yet, there are few traits which so poison our relationships as this. So how do you know if this is your sin? How do you know if you are missionary of misery? Let me share some general things to look for. These are not always true, yet are generally true.

  You have few healthy relationships. You may convince yourself you’re an introvert (maybe you are). But if others don’t want to be around you or befriend you, if even your spouse and/or children don’t seem to relish your company, it may be your negativism is a repellent. Another sign can be if most of your friends tend to be critical and negative. The old adage is true, “birds of a feather flock together.”

  You’re alone a lot. If it seems your spouse would rather be working or involved in some other social activity than be home with you, maybe there’s a reason. Or, if when you’re spouse or children are home, they’re in other parts of the house, there may be a message there. If you wonder, “why doesn’t anyone ever call me or seek me out?” Maybe you’re about as pleasant to be around as an IRS auditor.

  When you’re around, people act differently. If your spouse or children act completely different when they’re in your company, it can be a warning sign. It could be they don’t want to be critiqued. Or, if you’re in public, perhaps they fear being dressed down later for their foibles. Often in public situations, those who live with a negaholic are very, very quiet. They don’t want to pay a big price later when they are in private with you.

  Your children tend to be whiny. I’ve chuckled sadly over the years. Parents who often complain how whiny their children are, don’t realize it’s frequently learned behavior. The child is following a parental example.

  You spend a lot of time watching or listening to bad news. You are what you eat. Or, “as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” If you continually watch, read or listen to the negative – it will contaminate your life and come out. If you find you’re default mental drive is negative things, it’s going to be your output. If you feed and think on the negative, you’ll bear that fruit in your life.

  To me, it makes no sense. If I’m too hot, I adjust the thermostat or change clothes. If my feet get wet, I put on dry socks. If I’m tired, I lay down. Most of us respond that way. If something is externally uncomfortable, we correct it. Why don’t we do it internally? Why spend huge amounts of time thinking about what’s uncomfortable, or on what we don’t enjoy? We have more control over our internal environment than we do our external one. It’s what Scripture commands in Philippians 4:8, “ Finally…whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

  We need to count the high price for negativity. The greatest loss for a missionary of misery is our mission field. We’re called to be salt and light, what do you do when something is saturated with salt? You spit it out or don’t eat it. What about a blinding light? You close your eyes or dodge it. 

  Perhaps the reason some of us are ineffective as witnesses is because the bulk of our life is such a big turn off. The good news is that as a believer, God will give us the grace to change…today. The Spirit will empower you to be a healthy encouraging person. You have to just let Him. Will you? Show you love the Lord and those around you – choose to change! 

Looking for quality used Christian books and other types of books at prices lower than even Amazon. Check out our family's online used bookstore at resurrectedreads.com or visit our store at the Waterford Unique Antique Market at 209 North Milwaukee Street in Waterford, WI -- 262.534.3500. 

Yelping for His Glory!

“Technology and social media have brought power back to the people."   Mark McKinnon

  Are you travelling this summer? Going on vacation? When you’re on the road, how do you determine where you’ll stay or where you’ll eat?

  Jane and I will hardly step foot into a new place without first checking it out on either Tripadvisor or Yelp. TripAdvisor has become the most commonly accessed travel review website today with up to 50 million users every month and is the most widely recognized, used, and trusted travel website. Among 3,641 users surveyed by PhoCusWright, 69% found TripAdvisor reviews to be “highly or extremely accurate;” 92% agreed with the statement that TripAdvisor hotel reviews “help me pick the right hotel for my travel needs;” and 83% usually or always take a look at TripAdvisor reviews before selecting a hotel. Social media officially took over travel in 2010—or so the scientists say. That’s the year, according to a Cornell study, that “guest experience mentioned in customer reviews” became the factor most frequently cited by consumers in surveys about the process of choosing a hotel. While most of us still look at a hotel’s web page, what has more credibility though aren’t those pristine professional hotel pictures, but the average person’s review of the hotel. The hotel is a paid salesman whereas the reviewer is a satisfied (or dissatisfied) customer.

  Most churches have web pages and Facebook pages. For an outsider, those fall into the category of “paid sales people.” While they have some merit, they don’t have the powerful influence a satisfied church attendee has. And it has even more potency when the post isn’t on an “official” church website or social media outlet. 

  Can I encourage you to prayerfully consider using social media for Kingdom purposes? How can we do that? Let me offer some suggestions.

  Pray and think before you post. Social media has replaced talking with our tongue to talking with our fingers. All of us regret saying something that was poorly timed, said in haste, was hurtful or even sinful. The same is true when we’re talking with our fingers. God has promised to give us wisdom (James 1:5). As we know that the Lord Jesus hears what we say, He sees what we post. Words on a page lack the added clarification of tone or facial expression. Most of us hear written words at a much louder volume than they’re often intended. Obviously, if you wouldn’t say it to the person if they were right in front of you, you shouldn’t post it.

  Use social media to build bridges, not walls. Social media has redefined communication. It’s replaced personal interaction, phone calls and e-mails. People are relaying their most private and important information in semi-public status updates. The very nature of authenticity and identity is being challenged. With the push of a button, one can transform themselves into whoever they want to be. Facts about myself can be added or deleted. “Friends” are casually collected and I can transform myself into the very person I wished I were back in high school.

  Yet, with all of our “friends,” a sad outcome of social media is increasing isolation and loneliness among users. You may have lots of people you consider friends, yet not have any confidants with which you can discuss deep personal matters. Facebook allows people to connect, but users lack the meaningful bond that results from intimate conversation and contact.

  As part of a church family, the Bible commands us to encourage community, “one anotherness.” As a Christian, my priority must first be “us-ies,” not “selfies.” It’s one reason that when we’re with other believers, we should let those outside the family know it, and not just when we attend a worship service. Lost people aren’t surprised when a Christian attends church (hopefully, they’re surprised when we skip). Just as most of us post pictures when we’re with our biological family, when we post pictures and comments when we’re with our spiritual family, it sends a message of supernatural family and our love for God and each other to a lost and lonely world.

  Use social media to direct the focus toward a victorious returning King, not a deteriorating, dying world. This world is a big mess and everyone knows it. So is it something that a Christian needs to continually draw attention to or obsessively post about? So why do we?

  For most of us, the problem doesn’t begin with our posting, it begins with our thinking. Zig Ziglar used to call it “stinkin’ thinkin.” When we’re secularized by the negativity of a lost world, we fail to obey Scripture and think like a believer. Philippians 4:8 is a command, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

  Yes, we must deal with sin and negative things. But if we truly believe that Jesus is King and that He really is in control, and that one day soon the Judge of all the earth (Genesis 18:25) will bring justice and right every wrong, then all that’s currently wrong shouldn’t be our habitual mental diet. A Christian should be the most encouraging, positive, grateful person that most of their friends know. That should come forth from words whether verbal or in a post. When our thinking is spiritual, it will overflow with the fruits of the Spirit. When we are living out our mission as the “salt of the earth,” a thirsty lost world wants what we have.

  Obviously, we need to be discerning. Yet, if others can post when they’re blitzed, should a believer be ashamed to post how the Lord answered a prayer, or something they read in their devotions that touched their life, or a special song that encourages them, or how the message during worship moved them? When the Lord stretches your soul, it helps advance His Kingdom to let others know it. Even when you’re on vacation and visiting a church, think how you might encourage that family of believers by sharing how God used their ministry to be a blessing to you. Wouldn’t it be fantastic if every believer had a non-official “Tripadvisor” account where we faithfully posted how the Lord always walks with us, guides us, blesses us and shapes our trip on our journey through this life? It’s not that everything is perfect yet even in the mess of this world, we’re never alone. Maybe it would encourage our friends who don’t yet know Him to check out having our Savior as their “Tripadvisor,” too? 

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Who wants to be Jack Nicholson? Not me!

“Experts on romance say for a happy marriage there has to be more than a passionate love. For a lasting union, they insist, there must be a genuine liking for each other. Which, in my book, is a good definition for friendship.” Marilyn Monroe

  Those aren’t words you’d expect from one of Hollywood’s glamour girls, are they? But I think that Marilyn Monroe was on to something.

  Okay, so name one? How many Hollywood couples have been married more than five years? Ten? Twenty-five? Want to see that small number drop more? Name a Rock Star that’s been married more than ten years?

  Who you marry is one of the most important decisions someone will ever make, so let’s put that in context. Would you want your child to have an Algebra teacher who couldn’t add? A mechanic who has to take a cab to work because his car doesn’t run? A doctor on the payroll of the local funeral home because he keeps them well-stocked with “customers”?

  Yet, where do most of us learn about love and romance? Either from the movies or from music. Even today, for many of us decades later, our “love” song comes on the radio and for the next few minutes we step back in time, singing along with a musician who taught us about “love” but unfortunately, often doesn’t know a thing about it. Many of us have a favorite romance movie (I’ll fess up, I like While You Were Sleeping). But usually those who sing or act out love, in their personal lives, have never experienced it and know little of commitment. The Love Gurus of our culture are frequently the most ignorant of real life experience in the school of love. Yet, they continually foist one of the greatest lies on a naïve public – that love and fulfillment is about romance and sex. It’s not! And we all innately know it, but the silly siren voices are so loud that we foolishly tune out what we know is true.

  All of us admire that elderly couple who are still happily married after forty or fifty years of marriage. Things aren’t perfect. Every day is not a chick flick. There may have been some deep waters. But they still love each other. Sometimes the glue that held them together was that they take very seriously a vow made years ago before God, “til death do us part.”

  The book of Proverbs continually moves the focus from the present and immediate to “the end zone” (Proverbs 14:12; 16:25; 20:21). Most people don’t consider the high price, “the end zone,” of sex without marital commitment. That sad fact was brought home recently by one of Hollywood’s most famous, yet aging leading men. Now in his seventies, Jack Nicholson is a very lonely man.

  He once said he used to feel irresistible to women. His impressive list of lovers suggests he had a point. Today though, Jack Nicholson, admits he fears dying alone because he can no longer captivates the ladies like he did in his younger years. The 77-year-old says women don’t trust him anymore thanks to his reputation as “Jack the Jumper,” a reference to his well-known philandering. 

  In comments recently published by the magazine Closer, Nicholson said that he would love “one last romance” but said he was “not very realistic” about that happening. He’s very afraid of dying alone but he probably will. His life consists of usually sleeping until 1 pm, drinking milk to soothe his stomach, playing golf and then he goes next door to the property that contains his art collection – alone.

  Even a pagan, debauched world gets it but doesn’t even know that it gets it. Think of the derogatory terms, often animal terms, it uses for a man or woman who will not commit to one woman or man for life. One of Jack Nicholson’s most famous roles was when he played a libertine Devil and was despised even by witches in the end.

  The Bible does allow divorce. Rarely though, do even Christians divorce for biblical reasons. They divorce because they “have to find themselves” or “they’re not in love anymore.” God’s love for us clearly reveals that love is always a choice. Infatuation is a feeling. And sadly, many who don’t go through the process of divorce, are still emotionally divorced, living separate lives. They don’t have the fulfilling, Christ-honoring marriage that God designed and desires us to have.

  Can I share a simple yet difficult behavioral decision that will add zest and fulfillment to your marriage? It’s very biblical. If you choose to do this, it will honor God and bring His blessing on your life. It will also radically change you and your attitude toward your spouse. It’s gratitude!

  You know you better than anyone else. Please look in the mirror, not just at the external stuff…but at your heart. Who you really are is not exactly a prized possession but God chose to love you. And you can choose to love your spouse. One thing that will dramatically help you is every day, think of something about them that you’re thankful for. Go another step and you’ll get even more bang for your buck – tell them. Even better write them a note, thanking them. That’s what Philippians 4:8 teaches: “If there be any virtue, any praise…any good….think on these things.” About 99.999% of the time, the best way to have a fulfilling marriage is to work on the one that you already have.

  Even popular musicians get it. That’s powerfully illustrated by Rupert Holmes hit of the early 80’s, Escape. The song tells of a man who’s bored with his current relationship because it’s become routine and he desires some variety. One night, he reads the personal ads and spots an ad that catches his attention: a woman who is seeking a man who, among other little things, must like Pina Coladas. Intrigued, he writes back and arranges to meet her, only to find upon meeting her that the woman is actually his wife. The song ends on an upbeat note, showing that these lovers realized they have more in common than they’d suspected. They don’t have to look any further than each other for what they seek in a relationship.

  Sadly, Jack Nicholson is still looking and probably won’t ever find real love. But if you’re married, don’t settle for a mediocre marriage. By God’s grace and the Spirit’s power, invest the time, do the hard work in your marriage, and be who God wants you to be whether your spouse is who they should be or not. God will always bless that and the fulfillment that you have in your soul will make it well worth it!