The Big Power of Little Things

 

“It’s the little details that are vital. 

Little things make big things happen.”  John Wooden

 
I thought that the caption of the story should have been, “That’s the night that the lights went out in Toronto.” On the evening of February 1^st, about 7,000 customers in the city’s downtown lost power for more than two hours after a raccoon made contact with a transformer at a transmission station. I guess “made contact” is polite way of saying “roast racoon.”
  One raccoon – 7,000 people without power. Players had to leave mid-game in local dodgeball games when the power went out. Others were trapped in elevators mid-journey. Little things make a big difference.
  John Wooden, one of the greatest basketball coaches of all time, believed in the importance of the little things. He won ten NCAA national championships in a 12-year period as head coach for UCLA.
  Do you know the first lesson that this great coach taught his new freshmen recruits? How to tie their shoes. They’d be ready to roll all day that first time out. Just before the start, always at 3:30 p.m. sharp, Coach Wooden called all the freshmen together and walked them into the locker room. There, he sat down on a stool and began his lecture. They’d sit there ready to soak it all up, knowing that he was about to give them the keys to greatness, show the path to becoming the next great team in history. Wooden’s first words were, “Men, this is how you put your shoes and socks on.” John Wooden won by teaching his players to focus on the little things first. Think about how the little things make a big difference.
  Smile. Remember how much we lost with masks? You had to try to find smiling eyes. A simple smile can change a person’s day.
  A smile is a powerful thing, especially when offered with love, kindness, and acceptance. When you walk into a store, would you rather see a smile or a scowl? Do you want a grumpy server or a cheerful one? When you come home, do you want to be greeted by a smile or a frown?
  Did you know that you can hear a smile? When someone answers a phone, you can tell whether they’re smiling. A smile changes your voice.
  If anyone should be smiling, shouldn’t it be Christ-followers? Aren’t we to be the people of joy? We know that we’re loved with an unconditional love. We’ve been forgiven of a debt we could never pay. We’re never alone. And the worst hell of this world is temporary, but Home with Jesus is forever. Are you a Christ-follower? Does your face show it?
  Tables. Traffic in drive-thrus rose 30% from 2019 to 2022, according to foodservice research firm Technomic. Drive-thrus now account for two-thirds of all fast-food purchases. Overall, 60% of Americans admit to eating while driving on a semi-regular basis, with 7% of the nation chowing down while driving every single day.
  Though it’s not always possible to have a homecooked meal, think though how much we lose by eating on the run instead of sitting at a table together. Sitting at a table and engaging with each other makes a big difference. It means that the smart phones are put away so we can focus.   
  Read the New Testament and you’ll see a powerful pattern of people getting to know each other, drawing closer together as they ate a meal together. It doesn’t have to be fancy. It could be ice cream. It’s gathering around a small table that makes a big difference.
  Names. The Bible tells us that God knows our name. Knowing someone’s name, really knowing them, says that you care, especially if it’s unusual and you work to pronounce or spell it correctly. Most parents struggle with naming a child with the right name. Knowing someone’s name begins to slowly pull back the layers and increase intimacy. It lets us know them for who they are. There’s power in being known and accepted.
  Names remind us of our humanity. The government may only know us by a string of numbers, but a loving God designed each of us individually. It’s why it’s important when we’re in a store or restaurant to call the person serving us by their name. They’re not some anatomical robot – they’re Imago Dei. Not only did He design them, He loved them and gave His Son to die for them. He knows their name, shouldn’t we?
  300 seconds. That’s five minutes. If you were eating your favorite meal, say lobster or a T-bone steak, do you want to wolf it down? Or would you rather chew and salivate every bite? If you’re out with good friends and you’re all laughing and just enjoying each other, do you find yourself finally noticing the time and asking, “where did the time go?” If you’re going to see a movie that you’ve been dying to see, do you arrive five minutes early or five minutes late? What about if it’s your favorite team? When you’re at the doctor’s office and you’re concerned, do you want him to deal with you like you’re in a drive-thru? Or do you want him to take his time and find out what’s really wrong with you?
  Five minutes early or five minutes late? On Sundays when we’re seeing our brothers and sisters for the only time during the week, when it’s the only time we can touch each other’s lives and have ours touched, do we really want to rush in and out? What does that say about our understanding of Scripture of spiritual family and the value of our brothers and sisters? Do we have five minutes for that single sitting alone or that parent who brought their children by themselves? Do we have five minutes for that new person, who’s nervous because they may never have been in church before or not a for a long time? Do we really believe that it’s the pastor’s job, not our responsibility? Do we really want to run over others because we need those five minutes, we just have so much to do? What if you knew it would be the last time, you’d see that person…because it could be? Most of us long for five more minutes with a loved one that’s now gone. Five minutes, just 300 seconds – it can be a lot in someone’s life.
  Jesus said, “If you had faith like a grain of mustard seed…” (Luke 17:6). That’s so small but what a difference! Little things can be huge!

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Church Family: Dancing in the Minefields

 “And we went dancing in the minefields
We went sailing in the storms
And it was harder than we dreamed

But I believe that's what the promise is for.” 

                                                                               Andrew Peterson

 As a married couple do you have a song? Did you play it on Valentine’s Day? For Jane and me, it’s always been Could I have this dance for the rest of my life? by Anne Murray.
  When I conduct a wedding, it’s interesting to learn what song the couple feels is a picture of their love for their special day. Often, it’s a recent popular love song about the positive, romantic side of love. Yet, there’s another side of marriage, the dark side. During pre-marital counseling, I include sessions on how to fight a clean fight or working through differences over sex or finances. Frequently, I get starry eyed looks of, “we don’t need this, we won’t have those conflicts” staring back at me.  

  Maybe that’s why I appreciate Andrew Peterson’s song Dancing in the Minefields. It’s a poignant ode to the complexities and challenges of marriage. With a combination of vulnerability, depth, and hope, Peterson explores the realities of navigating the treacherous landscape of marriage. It’s a metaphor for the challenges and risks couples face when committing to a lifelong journey together. Marriage is not always smooth sailing but can often feel like treading through dangerous territory. Yet rather than fearing the obstacles, Peterson encourages embracing the dance amidst the minefields, finding beauty, love, and joy in the midst of the struggles.

  Church relationships are like that too. A church isn’t a religious social club, it’s a family. Yet, as a family of brothers and sisters in Christ, there’s some Dancing in the Minefields. Too often we forget that a church is made up of redeemed sinners. The ideal won’t happen until we get Home.   

  Today we’re celebrating our 6^th Anniversary in this building. God has been so good to us! You’re sitting in a “miracle.” God’s hand was here and so evident providing all along the way from purchasing the land to our first service in this facility. We never want to forget His goodness to us! We want to unite together in praising God for all that He has done for us and how He has so wonderfully blessed us on this 6^th Anniversary!

  Yet, in a church family we must also remember that as in a marriage, we’re all sinners saved by grace. Sometimes we’re so focused on the “grace,” we forget the “sinners” side. A local church is made up of redeemed sinners, yet the completeness of our redemption won’t happen until heaven. Until then we all struggle with our sinful minefields. Family is messy, even the family of God. We say the wrong thing. We get on each other’s nerves. We disagree, get offended and even become angry, but if we will submit to King Jesus, we’ll grow in grace through it, grow closer to Him and each other. 

  God uses conflict to open our eyes to our blind spots to help us grow to be more like Jesus. Yet, too often conflicts (even small ones) instead of encouraging Christlike growth result in some believers exiting rather than problem-solving. The church isn’t seen as a family but as a “spiritual retail outlet.” So, if you’re not getting the service that you feel you deserve, you go shopping for another one. Yet, the next church has redeemed sinners too and we often carry the same unresolved baggage from our last church into our new one. It’s so much better to biblically problem-solve, grow in grace and persevere. Our goal is not to be “nice Christians” who fake love. Our goal is to be authentic and like Jesus. That will take us the rest of our lives.

  God will never give us a beautiful, flaw free dance. He has something so much better. He wants our love for each other to deepen through conflict and even pain. As we grow closer to Him, we’ll grow closer to each other.

  As in a healthy marriage, to grow more like Jesus requires two attitudes – selflessness and sacrifice. Most conflict arises because those are missing. Can you imagine a couple having a fight because they’re too selfless and sacrificial? As you’ll never be happy in a marriage, if you approach it with, What’s in it for me? The same is true of a church. And if you don’t get this, you’ll soon be heading down the road looking for that next church that will fulfill your desire for – What’s in it for me?

  As a healthy marriage takes two hosts, the same is true of a healthy church, multiple ones. To be fulfilled in Christ’s Church, you must come as a servant. We are saved to serve (Ephesians 2:10). Isn’t that the example that Jesus gave us as He washed His disciples’ feet? Unhappy Christians don’t serve but sit and complain. So, I have a few challenges for us before our next Anniversary. 

  Let’s stop playing it safe. This past week I had the privilege of talking with our J.O.Y. ministry. I challenged them to break out of their safe circles of befriending and hanging with those like them and in the same age bracket. Seniors need friendships with young people, not just other seniors.

  The same is true for all of us. Are your friends all pretty much like you? Same age, family and social status? That’s not a biblical model. A church family is diverse, not just in its make-up, it’s diverse in its friendships. The Christian life isn’t about being safe. You won’t grow in grace if you only stay in the same “safe” friendships.

  Lower your expectations of others. When we walk in a church, we know that we’re sinners. We know that we recently had a fight with our spouse or complained about something. Yet, we don’t want others to be sinners…but they are. That doesn’t mean we settle for mediocrity. It does mean that we show God’s grace to others just as we want them to show it to us.  

  Spend daily time with God. If you don’t regularly spend time with the Father, you’re not going to like His family. It’s difficult to worship together if we’re not on the same page spiritually. It’s amazing how daily time with the Lord in His Word and in prayer changes your outlook.

  Continually grow in gratitude. A believer should be the most grateful person. We know what we deserve. Yet not only have we been rescued from Hell, we also have Heaven waiting for us and innumerable blessings from the Father in our journey through this life. So, develop the habit of counting your blessings. Be thankful for your brothers and sisters in Christ, even the ones who annoy you a little. Grow in grace and gratitude.

  Healthy church relationships are like dancing in the minefield, yet as we learn to dance, we grow more in His likeness and know more of His joy! 

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Super Team Jesus Fans

 

“Football is an honest game. It’s true to life. It’s a game about sharing. 

Football is a team game. So is life.” Joe Namath

 
Though wearing a Cracker Barrell uniform, her Team Jesus loyalty and love shined through her. Her name was Lillian, and she touched my heart.
  I love grits! Unfortunately, the only restaurant that serves them in Wisconsin is Cracker Barrell. When I’m not with Jane or if she’s out of town, as she was last week, I go to Cracker Barrell to get my “fix.”
  When Lillian came to wait on me, it just seemed something was different. It wasn’t the normal server social friendliness. She had a beautiful smile and it felt like more, it seemed like she had real joy. I was there to get my grits and do a little reading. Yet, I try to engage servers in a conversation. It’s opened many doors for the gospel over the years. And it turned out that she was a Christ-follower. Upon learning that, I shared, “I thought you were.” You could sense it. She’d recently graduated from a Christian college and was working to pay off school bills. Her passion though was to be a missionary. She’d been on a mission’s trip to Israel and wanted to return there but knew that it would be difficult because of the current unrest. I suggested Jordan as a possibility and a couple of mission agencies that might consider sending her back to Israel. I wasn’t surprised by her love for the Lord and passion for the lost. Christians run in when everyone else runs out.
  It’s the Super Bowl today. Fans are proudly wearing their teams’ jerseys, even if not attending the game but at home with friends. They’re passionate and cheering on their team.
  Even the most inattentive ears can’t miss the many ongoing conversations about the game. They talk about the field in Vegas or the rematch from four years ago. They’ll discuss whether Brock Purdy has what it takes to get the 49ers the ring after a thirty-year drought? The chatter on the Chiefs side focuses on familiar names like Patrick Mahomes, Travis Kelce and Chris Jones. Which coach will pull it off? Andy Reid or Kyle Shanahan?
  Yet, what about us? The Big Game has vital applications for us as Christ-followers. After all, fan is just short for fanatic.
  Do others look at our lives and know that we’re Christ followers? We may not wear a Team Jesus “jersey,” yet, do we live in a way so others see a difference? Fans want others to know what team they love. Do we have that same passion, longing for others to know that we’re on Team Jesus?
  Is being born-again a new life and radical transformation? Is there evidence in our ethics, our conversations, our marriages, and relationships with our children to show that we’re in Christ? What “team” do our social media posts indicate? What about how we spend our time? Is worshipping with other believers a priority? How about our entertainment choices? Are we kind and Christlike even when disagreeing on things like politics?
  Football fans are so excited about their team that they can hardly talk about anything else. What excites us? What is it that we can hardly stop talking about? Is it that we’ve been forgiven a sin debt that we could never pay? Is it that we’re loved by a God who knows our names and every burden that we carry. Is it that He loves us so much that even though we were His enemies, He willingly sacrificed His perfect Son for us? If anyone should be excited to talk about Jesus and His love for us, it should be us. Like a fan, we should be so overwhelmed by God’s grace that we can’t stop talking about Jesus. Like football fans, we talk about grace and forgiveness, peace, and joy in Christ because it turned our lives upside down and we long for others to know Him.
  Super Bowl players have trained for this day. Players spend years coming up through a system of high school, college, and professional sports. They give their all to the game. Their whole life is centered on it. Exhausting, year-round practice, weightlifting, and punishing games. They risk injury and suffer many pains, all for the game. Yet, ten years from now, all but the most gifted ones will be forgotten. As Christ-followers, sharing our faith can make an eternal difference in someone’s life. Do we have that same passion and dedication that the players have? Are we willing to make sacrifices for Jesus? Will we take risks for the gospel? It’s true we’re not paid millions, instead we’re blessed with eternal rewards that can never be taken away.
  Super Bowl Fans love to party. Many fans watching prepared and invited others for a Super Bowl Party? They’ve invited friends and family. They’ve planned the menu. They’ll watch the pre-game and be excited for that first kickoff. They’ll be waiting, anticipating the start.
  Every Sunday is a Resurrection Day. Do we anticipate it? We have the privilege of worshiping the One who sacrificially gave His life for us and conquered death. Are we excited? Is it a priority? Do we prepare our hearts? Do we prayerfully plan for the worship service? Do we anticipate joining our brothers and sisters to worship together? Do we look for those that we can cheer on, pray for, or encourage?
  Fans pay mega bucks to attend the game. Those attending pay a hefty price to attend. Tickets go from $5,000 to $35,000 for regular seats. Fans pay big bucks to attend. Yet, in our post-Covid age many Christians are satisfied with living room church, but it’s not the same as being there. Worship is not about convenience or comfort. It’s about being together for worship. It’s about joining shoulder to shoulder with the family of God.
  Fans don’t care about the clock. Fans watch the clock to see their team win. They watch the clock if their team is behind to see if it has a chance. Some watch the clock at the worship service longing for it to end so they can shoot out the door for what’s “important.” They’re relieved it’s finally done. Fans love the game and will talk about it for days. If it goes into overtime, then it’s a great game! But if the worship goes a little over, some attendees may be irritated that it infringed on their time.
  Fans attend because they love the team and love the game. Yet, many Christ-followers attend out of duty. They’re bored as they sing about God’s grace or listen to the Word or message of how He wants to transform them and make an eternal difference with their lives. Their love has grown cold.
  Football fans leave pumped up. Christ-followers often drag out, unmoved and unchanged. Maybe that’s why we’re making so little difference in this world? Maybe it’s not the world that has a problem, maybe it’s us. So, this afternoon when you watch the game, whisper a prayer that the Church, that our church, would become energized with the Spirit and become Super fanatics for the winning team, Team Jesus!

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Never Bad Mouth Your Spouse

 

“Sticks and stones may break our bones,

but words will break our hearts.” Robert Fulghum

 

When I see this, it grieves me…the harsh way some married couples talk to each other. Best-selling author, Shaunti Feldhahn, shares this experience:
  I was standing with my family in a packed line for an amusement park ride when the couple in front of me began looking at their watches and arguing. “Oh, great.” The wife’s voice could be clearly heard above the noisy environment. “It’s almost 2 p.m. already. At this rate we’re going to miss the show with the kids.” Her husband shook his head. “Well, that sort of thing happens.” “Well, it wouldn’t have happened at all if you’d gotten the show tickets when we first got to the park. But no, you had to spend all that extra time looking at the map, even though the kids asked you to hurry. If we miss the show, they’re going to be really upset with you.”

  Just as I couldn’t help overhearing, I couldn’t help wincing — not just at the woman’s words, but at her piercing and sarcastic tone. I found myself thinking, “Would you ever use that tone of voice with a close friend? If not, then why on earth would you ever speak that way to your husband?” Later when I finished a major research study to identify what makes the happiest couples so happy, I learned that my initial concern at the amusement part wasn’t just a rhetorical question. It turns out that how we speak to each other day to day is one of the most important factors in marriage.
  Valentine’s Day is around the corner, but this year instead of going on a big date, buying flowers or some special gift – do something that can transform your marriage – Change how you talk to your spouse!
  The Bible says a lot about how we talk. It’s amazing how our conversation with our spouse changes if someone is present that we’d be embarrassed if they heard our normal conversations. Too many of us, after we’ve been married a few years, fall into destructive ruts of how we talk to each other. “To love and cherish” is a lifetime commitment. We used to talk kindly when we were dating, but we’ve forgotten – and it costs us.
  Someone is probably reading this thinking, “I talk to them the way that they talk to me” or “I’ll change, if they change.” But God holds each of us accountable for ourselves. The vital questions are: Who does God want me to be in this marriage? Am I pleasing the One who died for me? Would you talk that way if you knew that Jesus was listening…because He is.
  Kindness in the way we talk is an overflow of a heart of love that seeks the good of the other. Too many marriages sound like a comic sitcom. Many speak nicer to their pet. Please know that I’m a fellow-sinner here. I’m ashamed of how I’ve spoken to Jane at times and am so thankful that God is the God of grace and forgiveness. Let me share some negatives and positives on marital communication.   
  Never use derogatory names. When I was a child, if I said certain words my mother would wash my mouth out with soap. Obscene names for your spouse are evil. So, are derogatory terms like stupid, dummy or idiot. She’s not your “old lady” and he’s not your “old man.”
  Kill the Sarcasm. If you want to improve your marriage, kill sarcasm. Sarcasm is hostility disguised as humor. Despite smiling outwardly, the victim of sarcastic comments feels put down. The origin of the word sarcasm comes from the Greek word “sarkazein” which literally means “to tear or strip the flesh off.” Its why sarcasm is often preceded by the word “cutting.” Sarcasm cuts and hurts.
  Watch your tone, volume and speed of your words. Kindness has a tone. Cruelty and harshness also have one, a bad one. Have you ever noticed that angry people are usually loud? Proverbs 15:1 says, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Then, slow it down. Listen to lovers talking. They speak very carefully and slowly with each other. It’s hard to speak lovingly when your words are coming out rapid fire like a machine gun. So, how should we talk to our spouse?
   Listen first. James 1:19 says, “let every person be quick to hear.” Most of us need to learn to truly listen. Often one spouse talks or processes slower than the other and their mate grows impatient. So, never finish someone else’s sentence. Listen to understand, not to think about what you’re going to say next. Understanding requires the same definitions. For example, when Jane and I were first married, vacation meant something totally different to each of us. Jane’s family often went camping. I hate camping. For me, roughing it was going to a hotel and the hot water didn’t work.  

  Speak relationally. Many couples think they communicate but they only share information, like who’s picking up the kids or what they need from the store…and then frequently by text. In a relational conversation we share our heart. We share wants, dreams, hurts, fears, likes, and dislikes. We’re safe with each other and those conversations can bring insight and even healing. Oftentimes we’ve been beaten up by this world. It’s our mate who can share God’s grace when we’re hurting. As Jack Miller said, “God’s grace flows downhill to the low places, not uphill to the put-together places.” And shouldn’t the number one person that you’re praying for be your spouse? Do you ever ask them, “How can I pray for you?”
  Listen for the nonverbal cues. This takes time. You can tell when a couple has been married a few years and are still in love. They can hear each other’s unspoken words. A look, a facial expression, even a small sigh can speak volumes. Lovers hear the unspoken words.
  Have your own language. Jane and I have words that are associated with funny memories that just the word will either bring a smile or a burst of laughter. She’s the only one who calls me “Honey.” Sometimes a waitress will call me as a customer, “Honey.” For me that’s a special word. It just doesn’t fit when anyone else besides Jane calls me that.
  Healthy marital communication won’t just happen. It takes work. It takes God’s love and grace flowing through us but it’s so worth it!

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.