The Bear Necessities

 

“Anyone can smile for a photo,

but who is still smiling after the selfie?”  Ken Poirot 

Apparently, humans aren't the only species that take selfies. A wildlife camera in Boulder, Colorado, snapped hundreds of images of a curious black bear last November. The city’s Open Space and Mountain Parks Department set up nine cameras to learn about local wildlife. One of the cameras captured 580 images, about 400 of them were of the same bear. 

  A spokesperson for the Department stated, “These pictures made us laugh, and we thought others would too.” It seems that the bear discovered one of the cameras. Most animals don’t notice them, which are activated by an animal stepping in front of them. They capture animals like deer, beavers, and less curious black bears going about their business. But this bear was enthralled by the camera, posing for some 400 “selfies.”

  That obsessed focus might work out for a bear, but it’s probably not so great for human beings. Studies show that on average, people spend 60% of conversations talking about themselves. That figure jumps to 80% when communicating via social media platforms like Facebook or TikTok.

  God did not design us to be self-focused, even in our own thoughts. The first thing that God declared was not good was for human beings to be alone (Genesis 2:18). We were designed for relationships and community.

  If you’ve just emerged from a life isolated in Antarctica, selfies are those pictures individuals take of themselves with or without a duck face. For some odd reason, the “bathroom” selfie is one of the more popular forms.  And while selfie pictures can be fun and an opportunity to share life and events, selfie thinking can be disastrous. Why?

  Selfie thinking tends to make pain bigger. Ours is a sin-contaminated world and sin is painful. Each one of us is affected by this pain. It can be physical pain, the pain, and strain of relationships, or even mental and emotional pain. The list is endless. Just watch the evening news and the majority of the stories are about someone or some group’s pain.

  As a selfie increases the size and focuses on the individual, self-focus only increases pain. When we spend an inordinate amount of time and energy thinking about ourselves, how we’re suffering, what’s wrong in our life, the pain we’re experiencing, or things we feel we did wrong, it amplifies our pain. It can trap us in a vicious cycle of overthinking and blowing pain out of proportion. It’s a major contributor to depression and anxiety, drains our time and spirit, and leads to unhealthy coping strategies.

  Selfie thinking feeds our pride. Pride blinds us to our own sin. It’s difficult to accept that it’s us and our problem because we’re too proud to accept that we’ve sinned and have issues because we’re consumed with ourselves. Someone said, “pride is the only disease that makes everyone sick but the one who has it.” Pride feeds a sense of self-importance.

  Imagine visiting Niagara Falls with a friend. You’re both viewing one of the most awe-inspiring natural scenes in America, but then you realize your friend is only taking selfies. A hundred pictures later, and your friend is the picture in every single shot. Who wants to see Niagara Falls when your friend is only taking selfies without even the Falls in the background?

  Social media has given everyone a platform to post their opinions. Usually, the one posting assumes their opinion is a fact, after all, it’s their opinion. Yet, a fact is a statement proven to be true or false by data or evidence. Most opinions are based on emotions, personal history, and values—all of which can be completely unsupported by real evidence. It’s like being blind and not knowing it. Leonardo da Vinci wisely observed, “The greatest deception men suffer is their own opinions.”

  The Christian life is anti-selfie thinking. Jesus said, “If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me” (Luke 9:23). Denying your self is not thinking harshly of your “self” or hating your “self.” It is just not thinking or focusing on yourself.

  It’s this simple, if you’re living for self, you’re not following Jesus. “No one can serve two masters” (Matthew 6:24). The word “deny” is the same word used of Peter’s denials. It means to repudiate, renounce, or disown. Jesus wasn’t talking about denying yourself little pleasures, like giving up dessert. He’s talking about a complete way of life involving a renunciation of living for your own selfish interests and embracing living for the sake of Christ. Denying self and taking up one’s cross are foundational for a life of following of Jesus. It means surrendering the right to control your life and giving that right to the Lord Jesus.  

  To American ears, self-denial sounds so negative, but remember that it was Jesus who said this. In the short term, self-denial is difficult and not very pleasant. But there is joy and peace in the present from it and eternal blessings in the future when a Christian follows Jesus on the path of the cross. In Luke 9:24 Jesus said, “For whoever wishes to save his life shall lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it.” When you die to self and follow Jesus, He graciously gives you the ultimate in fulfillment as the by-product—the joy of eternal life and of being affirmed by Jesus before the Father when He comes in glory (9:26)!

  In the movie Chariots of Fire, Scottish runner, Eric Liddell competed in the 1924 Olympics in Paris but Liddell refused to run on a Sunday. After his gold medal in the 400-meter race, he didn’t return to Scotland to have his picture on a box of Wheaties or to live off his endorsements. Eric accepted God’s call to serve as a missionary in China. During the Japanese invasion, Liddell was arrested with other Chinese Christians and placed in a prison camp. Even in the camp, Liddell led others to Christ and discipled them. Months before China was liberated, Eric Liddell died as a prisoner in that camp. At the young age of forty-three, he met his Master face to face. His last words were, “it’s complete surrender,” referring to how he’d given his life to serve the Lord. He’d run another kind of race, for another kind of prize and he received another kind of medal, more priceless than gold and that never perishes.

  Jesus doesn’t call most of us to be missionaries in a faraway land, yet He calls all of us to deny ourselves and follow Him. Selfie thinking is miserable. True fulfillment comes from following Christ. So please feel free to take fun pictures, even selfies, yet make the Lord Jesus the primary picture in your heart and seek to live for Him!

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

 

 

A Crash of Selfishness

 

“The DNA of sin is selfishness. Sin inserts me into the middle of my universe; the one place reserved for God and God alone. Sin reduces my field of concern down to my wants, my needs, and my feelings. Sin really does make it all about me.”  Paul Tripp

 
  It’s a scene so shocking that you may want to Google it to see it for yourself. As this year’s bicyclists in the Tour de France started off, a self-absorbed fan attempting to pose for the TV cameras caused a horrible crash that plunged the first stage of the Tour de France into chaos.
  The disastrous crash was caused by a woman standing on the roadside of the Tour’s opening stage. To make sure that she was on TV, she stepped in front of the racing pack holding a cardboard sign, displaying a message for the cameras. With one foot on the road and her cardboard sign encouraging riders to “Go!” hanging out onto the course, the spectator’s head was turned in the opposite direction of the cyclists when disaster struck.
  Her sign was in the direct path of the first cyclist, German rider, Tony Martin, who was cycling near the head of the pack. He fell, which led to the subsequent crash of dozens of riders behind him. Cyclists then began to fall en masse as the crash left bikes and bodies tangled in the road. The crash held the race up for several minutes. Multiple bikes were damaged as a result of the crash but the injury toll to riders wasn’t immediately clear.
  Later a bloodied Tony Martin returned to the race but Jasha Sutterlin of Germany reportedly withdrew because of the crash. All because one spectator wanted her 15 seconds of fame – the high price of selfishness.
  Behind nearly every marital fight is selfishness. Why do children squabble? Selfishness. At the root of every church split, you’ll find selfishness. The cancer that steals our joy is selfishness. Yet, selfishness is encouraged and applauded in a selfie world. It hides behind phrases like, “I need me time” or “I’ve got to take care of myself.”
  Our sin-contaminated world applauds self-idolization. We pose for selfies, edit our images, and self-promote the best parts of our lives. We post selfies to get “likes” and admiration, while the time we spend thinking of ourselves grows like an out-of-control noxious weed. Our selfies scream, “Look at me! Look at what I’m doing! Look at what I have!”
  Our sin nature feeds our selfish passions. We improve our looks. We do more document-worthy stuff. We acquire more things to “snap” and “share.” While we may not be famous on Instagram, most of us think of ourselves far too much. Scrolling through or actively posting to social media adds to such overthinking. The less we guard ourselves in a selfie world, the more we turn the lens of our hearts inward. It’s our story that matters – our needs, wants, and desires. Yet, the selfish person struggles with insecurity and is often overwhelmed with doubt. Selfishness starves our souls, contaminates our lives with unhappiness and even anger, when “I” don’t have my needs met.
  Apart from the power of the Gospel, it’s difficult to be selfless. Even when we’re caring for others, there’s a voice inside whispering, “I hope others are watching to see how much I care.” It’s only when we know the sacrificial Savior that we can truly have victory over being self-absorbed.
  How can we have victory over selfishness? The answer is love. The greatest commandments are the foundation for all Christian ethics and for the Christian life: “And Jesus said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets’” (Matt. 22:37-40).
  As we devote ourselves to loving God and loving our neighbors, we turn our attention away from inside of ourselves. This call to love is fundamental, demanding, and only possible for those who have been born again by the Spirit of God because God is love. Love requires selflessness. Though it seems counterintuitive, it’s only as we love God and others that we have joy, peace and contentment. Those are never found in self-love. How do we demonstrate the distinctiveness of Christian love?
  Love values the other person. Each person we meet is Imago Dei, thus we don’t confuse love with the counterfeits of lust, sentimentality, or self-gratification. While love includes wonderful, warm feelings, it’s much more than a feeling. Love is a decision. We choose to love. God loved us not because we had something to offer Him, but rather because He had something to offer us. “For God loved the world in this way: He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16). God chose to love us so that He could demonstrate His mercy to us in the person of His Son.
  Love is vulnerable to the other. Love opens up its life to another person. It breaks down barriers and exposes the heart. Selfless love is the most costly investment you will ever make.
  C. S. Lewis, in The Four Loves, describes the vulnerable nature of love, “To love is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries. Avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken. Instead, it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”
  Love is costly. It takes risks and goes out on a limb. Love makes a statement and leaves a legacy. It does the unexpected, surprising, and stirring. It performs acts that steal the heart and leaves an impression on the soul. Often these acts are never forgotten.
  A little girl named Liz was suffering from a rare life-threatening disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year-old brother, who had somehow survived the same disease but had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother and asked the little boy if he’d be willing to give his blood to his sister. He hesitated for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, “Yes, I’ll do it if it will save her.”
  As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then, his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, “Will I start to die right away?” The little boy had misunderstood the doctor. He thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her. That’s love. Love is selfless and sacrificial. As someone insightfully wrote: “Nothing is more a contradiction than to profess to be a Christian and live for oneself.”

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Was 2020 a Root Canal?

“Do I learn through dark providences, 

or simply seem relieved when they are over?”  Sinclair Ferguson

 

  A man went to his dentist for a root canal. The dentist made him comfortable and injected a numbing agent around the tooth, then left the room for a few minutes to allow the medication to take effect. But when the dentist returned he found the patient standing next to the tray of instruments. The dentist asked, “What are you doing by my surgical instruments?” Without looking up, continuing to focus on his task, the patient replied, “I’m taking out the ones I don’t like.” 

  So if you had the power, what would you do with 2020? What parts would you take out? Many of us would eradicate it. But does that line up with a biblical worldview? Do we really believe that God is sovereign? Do we believe that God is in control, even of years that from our perspective are as horrible as 2020?

  Nobody likes hard times. I know that I don’t. Yet, I know that as I look back on my life, the times that I have grown the most spiritually, the times when I’ve grown closer to God…haven’t been the easy times. They’ve been when I’ve walked through the fire, through deep waters. You’ll find that nearly every believer who has been walking with the Lord for any length of time will say the same thing. And while I don’t want a repeat of 2020, I don’t want to forget the lessons. I want them to be ingrained in my soul. I want them to help me walk closer to Jesus and trust Him more.

  During this pandemic it’s easy to see bad things happening all around us. However, with a biblical view on our circumstances, it may become clearer that what God could be doing during this time of taking things away is actually giving us something wonderful and eternal - Himself! So, here are some things that I’ve learned (you’ve probably learned them too). 

  The most precious people on the planet are the ones that live closest to me (or used to live with me). Spouses, family, children, parents, relatives, close friends, roommates, etc. are people that we care for the most. During this pandemic, I’ve realized anew how blessed I am to be married to Jane Carson. Her love for the Lord, her faith, and joy has helped encourage my own love for the Lord, faith, and joy. Living with someone and seeing them at their best and worst gives us a sense of care and compassion that can’t be adequately expressed. This pandemic has helped us to not take our spouses and children for granted. The ache of not seeing my son and daughter-in-law has only been increased by not being able to see them. Too often I take those closest to me for granted. Yet, when things get serious, I wanted them all close. I want to make certain that they’re all okay.

  Gathering as a church family is one of the most undervalued and underappreciated events in the whole world. This is the first time in most of our lives (since getting saved) that we’ve not been able to be with our brothers and sisters each week. It’s unnatural. It’s discouraging. It’s debilitating. Prior to this, we failed to value how important it is to be with other believers regularly. It’s a blessing that we have the technology to broadcast our services, yet the digital world doesn’t have skin on it. It doesn’t wrap an arm around another believer as you pray with them. It misses the nuances of a smile or a tearing eye. It misses the vital part of a maturing Christianity, giving as well as receiving. But we didn’t realize how much we were gaining from being with the “family” until we weren’t.

  Being busy gives us a false sense of accomplishment while stillness feels deceptively like idleness. When we’re running to work, school, events, etc., and are constantly on the move, we feel like we’re accomplishing something­ but often without much to show for it. Our overly busy lives have taught us to disdain times where we’re sitting still and in the same place. This season has been a lesson for us that busyness is not the same as accomplishing what has significance. It needs to teach us something that we easily forget – God did not create us to be human “doers,” but human “beings.” Being somewhere and being with someone supersedes doing.

  Petty disagreements and the little things that tend to consume us are even pettier and smaller when compared to eternity. Many of us either abandoned social media, limited it, or unfollowed neg-aholics. Yet, when I think about the things that have caused strife among friends or even in the church, they’re generally very small matters that were blown out of proportion. When you compare them to eternity, most aren’t worth the breath to speak them or the energy spent to post them on social media. Were they worth our time or energy at all? Are they worth our time now? What value are they in this world if they have no bearing on the one to come?

  I’m a lot more selfish than I thought I was and not nearly as patient as I thought that I was. When you can’t go where you want to go or do what you want to do, you find warm emotions rising up that are a bit shocking. Why does not being able to go to a coffee shop or movie or travel freely matter so much to me? Why was I so obsessed when this all started to see how far the numbers went up each day as if watching to keep score in a tragedy? It was easy to forget that those weren’t just numbers, they’re people. So, I want to learn to be more thankful for what I do have. I want to learn to be more aware and compassionate, especially for those experiencing loss firsthand. 

  No one is guaranteed tomorrow, and as much as I try to understand that I still don’t get it. Though I know better, I still live my life like I will always have a future on this earth. I think about next week, next month, and next year like they’re guaranteed dates on my calendar. But the psalmist speaks into my heart by turning focus for the day I have. “This is the day the Lord has made; I will rejoice and be glad in it” (Ps. 118:24). While we need to wisely plan, God has only given us today to use. Too often I’ve wasted today assuming I’ll have tomorrow. 

  This life is short and there are many ways to squander it, but only one way to redeem it – Love Jesus with your whole life, and love Him above all else. It really is a straight and narrow path but the road that leads to destruction is broad and too many go down it. Yet, it’s not as difficult to find as it is to maintain. Yet, I’m so easily distracted by the trivial. If I learn nothing else from 2020, I want to learn this and never forget it: “For me to live is Christ and to die is gain!” (Phil. 1:21). 

  I don’t want to repeat 2020 but I don’t want to forget it. How about you?

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Friends...more than an old TV show

“The only way to have a friend is to be one."  Ralph Waldo Emerson

  Last weekend Jane and I returned to our old stomping grounds – Detroit. I mean, if you’re going to look for a wonderful getaway spot, what better place than Detroit…right? Okay, I’ll confess…the truth is that there was a huge book sale taking place. Over a 100,000 books is worth making a drive for if you’re a bibliophile. On top of that, we were able to use it as an opportunity to spend some time with my nephew, Bryce Pegram, and his wife, Chelsea, along with visiting some other old friends. We had a great time! It was just nice to have a brief getaway.

  One of the highpoints was being able to spend some time with our old friends, Gary and Sally Papp. Jane and I have known Gary and Sally for some four decades. Yet, though we knew Gary and Sally in college, we didn’t really know Gary and Sally until we all attended the same church in the suburbs of Detroit. It was then that we began spending time together.

  When our son, Ben, was born, we were at their home before he entered the world. Sally would often watch our kids. Gary helped us move. In fact, when we moved to Burlington, Gary drove the moving truck from Detroit to Burlington. And though separated by hundreds of miles, we’ve stayed in touch. They’ve stayed in our home and we’ve stayed in theirs. We try to get together when we can. And it all goes back to becoming friends when we all attended the same church some thirty years ago.

  As you read the Bible, you discover that close and lifelong friends are made in the local church. It’s true that people make friends other places like their job or neighborhood. Yet, when you change jobs or move, frequently those friendships wane and die of extinction. That’s not the case with friendships within a local church – why? Because biblically speaking there should be an added depth of connection – we are also brothers and sisters in Christ. We are literally blood brothers and sisters because of the shed blood of Christ. A healthy church must be a place of growing friendships.

  On top of that, this is a very lonely world. Biblically, a church must be a place where healthy friendships are made. Sadly, there are often barriers to that which can begin devolving the church from a growing church family to little more than a closed social club. Let me share some of them.

  Longevity can be deadly to growing friendships. The longer you’re in a church, the easier it is to become entrenched in your friendships. You have history and familiarity. It’s just comfortable. And that’s great if you’re on the inside track and part of the clique. You find that you essentially talk to the same people each week. You even tend to sit by or near the same ones. If you do something outside of church, it’s with the same ones over and over and over again. Sadly, though it’s a clique that’s unwelcoming to others, yet those on the inside don’t even realize it. Our friends Gary and Sally already had lots of friends in their church. They didn’t need any more friends, yet they went out of their way to include us.

  Busyness can be deadly to growing friendships. We’re all busy. We all have lots of things going on. Personally, I go to bed feeling some level of guilt nearly every night because I didn’t get more done. Most of us suffer from the tyranny of the urgent and find ourselves absorbed with that which screams for attention. Then, we’re selfish…okay, at least I am. I like “me time.” I want to spend time with my wife, read a book or watch a show.

  When we get Home, I think that those of us in the American church are going to be very embarrassed that Jesus really is not impressed with our completed “To Do” lists. Read the gospels and you’ll find that our Lord was supremely relational. Yet, if anyone had too much to do, it was Jesus but He always found time for others…often “others” that most would want little to do with. That means that if you want to touch lives, you have to make it a priority. It has to be valuable to you and you have to schedule it. Let’s be honest. Most of us know we should build bridges with others but it’s just an idea that somehow never finds its way onto our schedule. The end result is that it rarely if ever happens. But Gary and Sally were extremely busy, too. As I recall, at the time, Gary was working something like 60 hours a week. Yet, they made time for us and invested in our lives.

  We become so focused on our biological family that we neglect our spiritual family. Gary and Sally lived in the same area that Gary had grown up in, so they had lots of family in the area. In fact, Gary’s parents lived just down the street from them. They also had two children who had full schedules. They had a lot of family obligations, yet somehow they balanced out their biological family with their spiritual one. And they’re still doing it today. They’re faithful grandparents, seeking to influence the next generation. Their daughter, Michelle, just had her sixth child so she now has six under six. Add to that, her husband is in the military and must often be gone, so they help out probably more than most grandparents. But they made time for us last weekend and were talking about interacting with other believers later that week. In fact, Gary even carved out time for a mission trip to Russia.

  One of my favorite shows is Bluebloods. I appreciate that included in each episode is the weekly family multi-generational Sunday dinner. In our anti-family culture, it’s refreshing. Yet, most of us tend to be extremists rather than balanced. We’re so determined sometimes to be family oriented that we become family obsessed.

  One of the greatest needs is for lost people and for new believers to see a normal Christian family in real time. Too many have no idea what a normal family is like. Normal may be eating in front of the TV, everyone yelling at one another, someone getting intoxicated. So to see a Christian family that’s not perfect yet seeking to faithfully live out God’s grace in spite of their redeemed sinfulness is a powerful message.

  So why are you here? The Christian life is not about me, it’s about Him, it’s about others. We grow in grace as others, new as well as “old” others, find significant time and a place in our lives. We must continually grow in selflessness and a spirit of sacrifice. It’s what Jesus has called us to. Each of us needs to be on the lookout for those who may be new, engaging them in conversation and looking for ways to build bridges with them outside of a worship service. With the warm weather and more outside activities, this is a great time to take some spiritual steps forward in ministering to others.

  Will you take some of those steps? It will help you grow and be more like Jesus who consistently loved and reached out to others.   

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