Dad, should your children follow you?

 

“Every father should remember one day his son will follow his example, not his advice.”   Charles Kettering

 
Henry Bosch shares this story: As a schoolboy, I worked with my father during the summer months. Each morning we stopped to pick up the early edition of the newspaper at a small grocery store. One morning when we got to work, my father found that by mistake he had taken two newspapers instead of one. He first thought of paying the man the extra price the next morning, but then after a moment’s consideration he said, “I had better go back with this paper. I don’t want the man at the store to think I’m dishonest.” He got in his car, drove back to the store, and returned the paper. About a week later, someone stole money from the grocery store. When police pinpointed the time it occurred, the grocer remembered only two people being in the store at the time—and one was my father. The grocer immediately dismissed my father as a suspect, saying, ‘That man is really honest. He came all the way back here just to return a newspaper he took by mistake.’ The police then focused their investigation on the other man, who soon made a full confession. My father’s honesty made a big impression on that non-Christian storeowner, and on me.” Henry Bosch’s father lived out what it means to be a Christ-follower.
  Dads, what’s important to you? According to one recent Pew Research Survey, Dads place a high priority on their children becoming honest, ethical and hardworking adults. The majority of dads say it’s extremely or very important to them that their children be honest and ethical (93%), hardworking (87%) and ambitious (64%) as adults.
  What do you believe are the priorities to teach your children? Being honest and ethical is important and over the years I’ve had fathers tell me many different things. Most want their children to know how to work hard and to be good providers for their families. Some want their children to know how to play sports and be winners. Others want their children to get good grades, go to college, and have a good career.
  All of those are good things, yet in nearly forty years of ministry, I can’t remember a father ever sharing with me: “I want my children to know Jesus as their Savior and go to heaven.” I’m sure some believed it, yet I can’t remember a single Dad expressing that to me. Interestingly, though I’ve had mothers express that and even fret that they’re child had not yet committed his/her life to Christ.
  It’s tempting to put behavior before belief. One though can be very moral and not know Jesus. The Savior echoed that powerful sentiment with “For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?” Mark 8:36). If we focus on the wrong thing, even good things, we can raise our children to be successful failures.
  So, how do we teach our children what should be the top priority in life? Where do we start? We need to personally know what it means to be a believer. If heaven and God’s forgiveness is a “hope so,” we and our children are in real trouble. Would you want directions to some destination if the person sharing them said, “I think this is how you get there…”? No, we want someone who knows the way.
  Even better when you’re unsure of how to get somewhere is to have someone say to you, “I’m going there. Follow me.” Dad, do you know based on God’s Word that you’ve been forgiven and that you’re going to heaven when you die? If you don’t know how to go to heaven, you won’t be able to teach your children and that would be a tragic loss.
  Yet, heaven is so much more than having your ticket punched for eternal life. Our children will value what we value whether it’s caught or taught. My Dad was in retail for years and later invested in and sold commercial real estate. He also invested in the stock market. It’s not a surprise that one of my brothers became a stockbroker and the other began in retail and later ended up as an executive in the fashion industry.
  Hollywood dynasties, business dynasties and political dynasties are common. Children often follow in a father’s footsteps. They will have the same interests and values, spend their leisure time the way they saw modeled and even will have the same type of friends that their parents had. 
  Dad, what do you truly value? What do you love? What’s your focus? Where do you spend your time? If your children follow in your steps, what will their life be like? What will they teach your grandchildren to value?
  American educator, A.E. Winship, decided to trace the descendants of Jonathan Edwards almost 150 years after his death. His findings are remarkable, especially when compared to another man from the same time period known as Max Jukes.
  Jonathan Edwards’ legacy includes: 1 U.S. Vice-President, 1 Dean of a law school, 1 dean of a medical school, 3 U.S. Senators, 3 governors, 3 mayors, 13 college presidents, 30 judges, 60 doctors, 65 professors, 75 Military officers, 80 public office holders, 100 lawyers, 100 clergymen, and 285 college graduates. How is this explained? Jonathan Edwards was a Christ-follower who loved the Lord. As a result, he was also hard working, moral and ethical.
  Max Jukes’ legacy came to people’s attention when the family trees of 42 different men in the New York prison system were traced back to him. He lived in New York at about the same period as Edwards. The Jukes family originally was studied by sociologist Richard L. Dugdale in 1877. Jukes’ descendants included: 7 murderers, 60 thieves, 190 prostitutes, 150 other convicts, 310 paupers, and 440 who were physically wrecked by addiction to alcohol. Of the 1,200 descendants that were studied, 300 died prematurely.
  These two legacies provide an example of what’s called the five-generation rule. “How a parent raises their child — the love they give, the values they teach, the emotional environment they offer, the education they provide — influences not only their children but the four generations to follow, either for good or evil.” What a challenging thought!
  Dad, if someone studied your descendants four generations later, what would you want them to discover? Do you want an Edwards’ legacy or a Jukes’ one? Being a Christ-follower can determine where your children and grandchildren will spend eternity. The life you live today influences the legacy you leave tomorrow! So, where are you going and what are you leaving behind?

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Homesick for Mom

“We need to be homesick for heaven. Though we have never been there, we still have something God has built within us that gives us a certain homesickness, a desire to be there.” Greg Laurie

 
Every spring a I get a little homesick. Though Wisconsin is my home and has been for over forty years, I still miss Atlanta where I grew up. I find that I particularly miss the blooming of the dogwood trees in the spring. There are so many in Atlanta that they have a “Dogwood Festival” every year. My favorite has to be the pink dogwood.
  Mother’s Day also makes me homesick, yet not for my past home but for my future Home. It’s hard to believe that my Mom has been in Heaven for nearly 55 years. The last time I saw her, she and my two sisters were on their way to a wedding on a rainy Friday night of the Memorial Day weekend. The next time I saw her, it was just her body…really her arm from the open car door where rescue personnel had checked her pulse at the bottom of a steep embankment. From the top of the highway, I recognized the watch on her wrist and knew that it was my Mom.  
  Hebrews 12:1-2a says, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith.”
  That “cloud of witnesses” are believers, specifically ones from the Old Testament, who looked forward in faith. Every Christ-follower is surrounded by the saints of the past in a unique way. It’s not that the faithful who have gone before us are actual spectators of the race we run. Rather, it’s a figurative representation and means that we ought to act as if they were in sight and cheering us on to the same victory in the life of faith that they obtained. We’re to be inspired by the godly examples these saints set during their lives. These are those whose past lives of faith encourage others to live that way, too. That the cloud is referred to as “great” indicates that millions, hopefully billions, of believers have gone before us, each bearing witness to the life of faith we now live.
  Though I went through some deep waters and had times of running from God and even bitterness at Him, the Lord has used my Mom’s example to both encourage and inspire all of these years. My Mom came to Christ when I was about four years old and though I don’t remember much of her pre-conversion life, her conversion life is indelibly printed on my heart.  
  My Mom spent time with the Lord every morning. In can still see her sitting at the kitchen table, Bible open, lime green coffee cup on the table beside it. It was an example for me. It’s very rare for me to begin any day without time in the Word. It changes me and prepares me for the day.
  My Mom was consistently patient. It probably happened more yet I only remember my Mom becoming angry one time…and if anyone could make you angry, I could. I was a bit of a rascal as a kid (think Denis the Menace). Though my two older brothers were nearly adults and essentially out of the home, I had two older sisters and there are two years between us. Ina was nearly five years older, and Suellen is two years older than me. We fought and scrapped and fussed a lot as siblings often do.
  Though she didn’t have the support of my Dad, my Mom would seek to have devotions with the three of us. We weren’t overly cooperative, but she persevered. She tried and I still remember it.
  She wasn’t perfect, yet to my knowledge, she truly didn’t have any enemies. She had a friend who’d been struck with ALS that we’d go visit. Another was limited financially but my Mom would reach out to her. Though her own mother had died when she was in her twenties, she loved my Dad’s folks and tried to be a blessing and help his parents out.
  My Mom persevered even when she was consistently mistreated. My Dad was driven to succeed. His family when he was growing up had been one of the poorest in their county with his Dad a drunk and a moonshiner. My Dad was determined that was never going to happen to him, so he cut ethical corners. To cope with the pressure he became addicted to prescription drugs. Though he was a charmer outside our home, he would take out his stress and anger on my Mom. There’s no good way to say it…he was mean. It was common after my Mom had made dinner for our family for him to so pick at her during the meal that she’d leave the table in tears. There were a few times when he actually physically abused her.
  She wasn’t a doormat yet for his cruelty, she returned kindness. She didn’t gripe at church or with her Christian friends about what a horrible person he was or how bad their marriage was. She did have a close group of godly friends who she’d pray with and that she could ask for spiritual support. Looking back, I think it was only to keep her unsettled, but he’d often threaten to divorce her. For some reason, he was just cruel.
  The night she was killed in a car wreck, I remember her at the top of the stairs with my Dad downstairs watching TV. She lovingly said good-bye to him, but he retorted back with some angry reply. Her Christlike spirit in the face of hatefulness is a model that I seek to emulate yet so often fail.
  My Mom prayed for me. After she was gone, I learned that she continually prayed for me and my four siblings. I know that I am where I am today in answer to her prayers. Yet, like so many mothers, she never saw her prayers answered in this world, but she prayed in faith. 
  There’s a lot of pressure on moms today to be Super Moms. Many have had to exchange being homemakers for the workplace, which has increased fatigue and pressure. The truth is that there are no Super Moms. Yet, every Mom can be a saintly Mom. It means like Mary; you need to regularly sit at the feet of Jesus (Luke 10:38-42). You’ll never have the influence on your children without His influence on you. There’s pressure to help your children be successful in this world. Real success and what they’ll eternally thank you for is helping them be successful in the real world, God’s world.   
  Heaven is sweeter for me because it will be the first time since childhood that I’ll see my Mom again. It’s why I’m a little Homesick. So, Moms, this Mother’s Day, renew again your commitment to knowing Jesus and influencing your children for a life of worth that’s successful for eternity!

 

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.