Dad, should your children follow you?

 

“Every father should remember one day his son will follow his example, not his advice.”   Charles Kettering

 
Henry Bosch shares this story: As a schoolboy, I worked with my father during the summer months. Each morning we stopped to pick up the early edition of the newspaper at a small grocery store. One morning when we got to work, my father found that by mistake he had taken two newspapers instead of one. He first thought of paying the man the extra price the next morning, but then after a moment’s consideration he said, “I had better go back with this paper. I don’t want the man at the store to think I’m dishonest.” He got in his car, drove back to the store, and returned the paper. About a week later, someone stole money from the grocery store. When police pinpointed the time it occurred, the grocer remembered only two people being in the store at the time—and one was my father. The grocer immediately dismissed my father as a suspect, saying, ‘That man is really honest. He came all the way back here just to return a newspaper he took by mistake.’ The police then focused their investigation on the other man, who soon made a full confession. My father’s honesty made a big impression on that non-Christian storeowner, and on me.” Henry Bosch’s father lived out what it means to be a Christ-follower.
  Dads, what’s important to you? According to one recent Pew Research Survey, Dads place a high priority on their children becoming honest, ethical and hardworking adults. The majority of dads say it’s extremely or very important to them that their children be honest and ethical (93%), hardworking (87%) and ambitious (64%) as adults.
  What do you believe are the priorities to teach your children? Being honest and ethical is important and over the years I’ve had fathers tell me many different things. Most want their children to know how to work hard and to be good providers for their families. Some want their children to know how to play sports and be winners. Others want their children to get good grades, go to college, and have a good career.
  All of those are good things, yet in nearly forty years of ministry, I can’t remember a father ever sharing with me: “I want my children to know Jesus as their Savior and go to heaven.” I’m sure some believed it, yet I can’t remember a single Dad expressing that to me. Interestingly, though I’ve had mothers express that and even fret that they’re child had not yet committed his/her life to Christ.
  It’s tempting to put behavior before belief. One though can be very moral and not know Jesus. The Savior echoed that powerful sentiment with “For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?” Mark 8:36). If we focus on the wrong thing, even good things, we can raise our children to be successful failures.
  So, how do we teach our children what should be the top priority in life? Where do we start? We need to personally know what it means to be a believer. If heaven and God’s forgiveness is a “hope so,” we and our children are in real trouble. Would you want directions to some destination if the person sharing them said, “I think this is how you get there…”? No, we want someone who knows the way.
  Even better when you’re unsure of how to get somewhere is to have someone say to you, “I’m going there. Follow me.” Dad, do you know based on God’s Word that you’ve been forgiven and that you’re going to heaven when you die? If you don’t know how to go to heaven, you won’t be able to teach your children and that would be a tragic loss.
  Yet, heaven is so much more than having your ticket punched for eternal life. Our children will value what we value whether it’s caught or taught. My Dad was in retail for years and later invested in and sold commercial real estate. He also invested in the stock market. It’s not a surprise that one of my brothers became a stockbroker and the other began in retail and later ended up as an executive in the fashion industry.
  Hollywood dynasties, business dynasties and political dynasties are common. Children often follow in a father’s footsteps. They will have the same interests and values, spend their leisure time the way they saw modeled and even will have the same type of friends that their parents had. 
  Dad, what do you truly value? What do you love? What’s your focus? Where do you spend your time? If your children follow in your steps, what will their life be like? What will they teach your grandchildren to value?
  American educator, A.E. Winship, decided to trace the descendants of Jonathan Edwards almost 150 years after his death. His findings are remarkable, especially when compared to another man from the same time period known as Max Jukes.
  Jonathan Edwards’ legacy includes: 1 U.S. Vice-President, 1 Dean of a law school, 1 dean of a medical school, 3 U.S. Senators, 3 governors, 3 mayors, 13 college presidents, 30 judges, 60 doctors, 65 professors, 75 Military officers, 80 public office holders, 100 lawyers, 100 clergymen, and 285 college graduates. How is this explained? Jonathan Edwards was a Christ-follower who loved the Lord. As a result, he was also hard working, moral and ethical.
  Max Jukes’ legacy came to people’s attention when the family trees of 42 different men in the New York prison system were traced back to him. He lived in New York at about the same period as Edwards. The Jukes family originally was studied by sociologist Richard L. Dugdale in 1877. Jukes’ descendants included: 7 murderers, 60 thieves, 190 prostitutes, 150 other convicts, 310 paupers, and 440 who were physically wrecked by addiction to alcohol. Of the 1,200 descendants that were studied, 300 died prematurely.
  These two legacies provide an example of what’s called the five-generation rule. “How a parent raises their child — the love they give, the values they teach, the emotional environment they offer, the education they provide — influences not only their children but the four generations to follow, either for good or evil.” What a challenging thought!
  Dad, if someone studied your descendants four generations later, what would you want them to discover? Do you want an Edwards’ legacy or a Jukes’ one? Being a Christ-follower can determine where your children and grandchildren will spend eternity. The life you live today influences the legacy you leave tomorrow! So, where are you going and what are you leaving behind?

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