Giving Away Kindness

 

“Three things in human life are important: The first is to be kind. 

The second is to be kind, and the third is to be kind.”  Henry James

 
With the recent Olympics a wonderful story from 2019 has been resurfacing. At a match in August of that year, Israel’s women’s lacrosse team showed true sports (wo)manship during their match against Kenya. Israel defeated Kenya, 13-4, at a match during the 2019 Women’s Lacrosse Under 19 World Championship in Peterborough, Ontario. Though they won, the Israeli players realized something was unfair. The teams weren’t on equal footing, literally. None of the Kenyan players had cleats, which put them at a great disadvantage. The Israeli team decided to do something about it, surprising their opponents with brand-new footwear.
  Rain from the night before the match resulted in the Kenyan women slipping all over the field. Their tennis shoes couldn’t provide the proper traction. Many of the Kenyan athletes lived in poverty in two-bedroom mud shacks housing families of eight and had to overcome numerous obstacles to even get to the tournament. They’d ordered new running shoes, but upon arriving in Canada, discovered they were in U.S. sizes and not in the U.K. sizes they’d ordered.
  After the game, Michael Duvdevani, whose daughter, Ella, is on the Israeli team, discovered that the Kenya team did not have any cleats, and he wanted to do something about it. In a group message with all of the Israeli team parents, Duvdevani explained the situation and asked: “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” They were. That evening Duvdevani contacted the Kenyan team’s assistant coach to gather his team’s shoe sizes. Then, he found a store in Peterborough that luckily had the 18 pairs of shoes in the sizes the Kenyan teens needed. Duvdevani paid for all the shoes upfront (he was later reimbursed by the rest of his team’s parents). With the help of his two younger children, he packed the shoes labeling each box with the players’ name and corresponding jersey numbers.
  The next day, the Kenyan coach brought his team to the Israeli-Belgium game under the ruse that they were scoping out the Belgium team, who the Kenyans were scheduled to play the following day. In reality the Israeli teens wanted to present them with their brand-new cleats and surprised their new friends with the brand-new shoes after the MVP ceremony.
  Hugs went all around. Neither team fared particularly well in the tournament, but the Israeli and Kenyan teams continued to support each other. A couple days after the cleats were gifted, the Kenyan team ventured over to the Israelis’ match against Ireland. Still dressed in their jerseys from a game earlier that day, the Kenyan girls waved Israeli flags, and danced and cheered for their newfound friends. I love these words from the Israeli goalie, Lielle Assayag, “This is what I’ll remember in twenty years. My friends, my old ones, and my new ones.” 
  In an angry world where it seems nearly everyone is irate about something, Christ-followers must be known for being kind and gracious. What does it take to be consistently kind?
  It takes resilience. Those who are genuinely kind without expecting reciprocation have a unique ability to bounce back from setbacks. They experience the same hurdles we all do – losses, failures, and disappointments – but respond to them differently. Rather than dwelling on negative outcomes, they choose to respond with kindness. Their resilience stems from this kindness – a unique strength as admirable as it is powerful.
  It takes empathy. It’s not just about understanding someone’s feelings, it’s actually sharing in them. When someone is going through deep waters and shares their troubles, an empathetic person listens and seeks to understand. Empathy isn’t about solving problems or giving advice. It’s about understanding another person’s situation and feelings so deeply that you can almost feel them yourself. A kind person connects with others on a deeper level. They’re able to put themselves in the other person’s shoes and truly understand their emotions.
  It takes authenticity. Genuinely kind people don’t wear masks, don’t put on a show, and don’t try to be someone they’re not. They’re comfortable in their own skin and aren’t afraid to be transparent. Because they’re authentic, they create a safe space for others to be themselves too, fostering deeper and more meaningful connections in the process.
  It takes patience. Patience is a significant strength that kind people possess. It’s not just about waiting without complaint. It’s a deeper form of patience that shows up in their interactions with others. They don’t rush others, impose their timelines, or expect immediate change.
  Have you ever had a teacher who worked with you when you had difficulty understanding something? They don’t rush you and take extra time to explain things until you grasp them. In a world that’s always in a hurry, this kind of patience is a unique strength.
  It takes optimism. Another word for it is – hope! If anyone should have hope, it’s a Christ-follower. We know no one is beyond God’s love, no situation is impossible, and we’re all going to get Home before dark. This optimism stems from a deep-seated belief in the goodness of God. Genuinely kind people see the best in others, even when it’s not apparent. Like Jesus, they believe in second chances and the potential for true transformation. Their optimism isn’t just infectious, it’s inspiring.
  It takes generosity. Think about the last time you gave something without expecting anything in return. How did it make you feel? Kind individuals have an innate sense of generosity. It’s not just monetary or some grand gesture. The greatest acts of generosity are often the simplest ones – like giving time, attention, or words of encouragement when someone needs it.
  It takes gratitude. This may be the most important trait. Kind individuals have a deep sense of gratitude for all that God has given them. They appreciate the people and experiences in their lives, both good and bad. They understand that every encounter, every moment, every trial is an opportunity for spiritual growth and to glorify God. Their deep gratitude is reflected in their attitudes and actions…in the way they treat others. This spirit of gratitude is the root from which their kindness grows.
  As Jesus walked this earth, He was known for being kind. As His followers, we must be known for our Christlike kindness. Are you a Christ-follower? Are you known for being kind? Is that your reputation?

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

The "Wonder" of loving the unloveable

“Compassion is the deep feeling of sharing in the suffering of another and the desire to relieve that suffering.”  Jerry Bridges

  Unusually tall and bearing a facial scar, a twelve-year-old girl from Denver was called “Gorilla Scarface” by classmates until she finally snapped and took her own life in the spring of 2014. A week before killing herself, she’d left the following message on Instagram: I’m just not Okay.

  Tragically, it’s not an unusual story. If you Google stories about bullying, have a box of Kleenexes nearby because it will break your heart.

  Recently, Jane and I watched the movie, Wonder. If you haven’t seen it, I’d encourage you to. It’s a powerful story that left us feeling highly moved. Wonder tells the incredibly inspiring and heartwarming story of Auggie (short for August) Pullman, a boy with horrible facial differences who enters fifth grade, attending a mainstream elementary school for the first time. Previously, his mother homeschooled him, to protect him from the taunts and bullying that he’d face because of his abnormal appearance in a school setting. But now his parents want him to attend fifth grade with other kids, so he begins attending Beecher Prep School. Auggie even has the kind of sense of humor that can win kids over—well, most of them anyway. While the Pullman family isn't particularly spiritual, his Mom (Isabel), does pray aloud, “Dear God, please make them be nice to him,” when dropping Auggie off at school one day.

  Both Dad and Mom are united in their love and commitment to their children. The principal at Auggie’s school is very concerned that Auggie be treated well and not bullied. His teachers care. One even has a daily character lesson. At first, all the children dodge Auggie but eventually, they’re won over and not only become Auggie’s friends but defend him against attacks from others. The movie is a transparent account of the burdens and feelings of others, even those without special needs.

  When we finished watching it, I Googled the movie and was disappointed to discover what I’d already suspected – it’s just a good story, a work of fiction. We know from hard experiences that the world rarely works like that. All of us remember the cruelty of school. It’s likely that you personally felt the sharp blades of cruelty pierce your own soul as classmates or a teacher said things to you that were thoughtless or cruel.  

  Yet, I think Wonder is popular because it’s what the world, even a lost one, truly desires. Though our world is cruel, most people don’t want it to be. They want it to be like Wonder, where the odd, strange, are accepted, appreciated and loved for who they are. Yet in spite of all the anti-bullying programs or talks about “being kind,” don’t expect it. It’s nearly impossible to work up that which you don’t already possess inside. This world has little time for those who are different. Love and patience are not the fare a lost world naturally serves up. Sadly, it’s a dog eat dog world that lives out the worldview continually taught, the evolutionary worldview of survival of the fittest.

  Yet, it occurred to me, as I watched Wonder, that it’s exactly what the we, the Church, must be. Scripture teaches that every person is a special creation, made in the image of God and designed by Him, (Psalms 139:13-16). We must not be content with being Pro-life; We must be Pro-living. We’re to be Jesus in a cold, harsh world. Our Lord cared for those who were outcasts or obnoxious. The demon-possessed who screamed for attention. Blind beggars who disrupted His sermon begging to be healed.

  The next time you’re in public and observe someone who is disabled, watch the responses of those around. Rarely is there compassion, but annoyance and impatience. Watch how people react to an elderly person with a walker or wheelchair. In a restaurant, you can almost feel the disdain for someone who is grossly obese.

  And what about children, particularly those with special needs? Then, what about those who’ve been overcome by sin? The immoral, the addict, the drunk, the pedophile, unwed mother, the recently paroled. Our world has “sanitized sins” that are socially acceptable. But violate those standards and you are a pariah. The “No Vacancy” sign is quickly posted.

  In the Church, that must not be us! No one was beyond Jesus’ love and care, not even those who rejected Him. Our Lord continually reached out to them again and again. As they crucified Him, He prayed for them and loved them, “Father, forgive them. They know not what they do.”

  For several decades the Apostle Paul’s words from 1 Corinthians have echoed in my heart, both rebuking and encouraging me: “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God” (6:9-11). 

  We who have personally experienced God’s love and grace, do we really dare we say to another image bearer of God, “You’re not welcome here! You’re not our kind of people!”? While at Grace, because of the teaching of Scripture, we’re not an “affirming” church, yet we must be an accepting one – we accept any and all sinners who are just as guilty, just as loved and just as reachable by the Cross as we are. A church that truly shares the grace of God really is a Wonder and that’s not just a nice story! 

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Got Compassion?

“Biblical orthodoxy without compassion is surely the ugliest thing in the world.”   Francis Schaeffer

  It’s amazing how God works in our lives! Oftentimes, I’m staggered by how patient the Father is with me. We human beings tend to get out of balance and out of whack so easily. We swing from extreme to extreme…and I knew better…I just didn’t do better.

  At one point in my ministry, I swung to the extreme of orthodoxy versus compassion and love. Orthodoxy is so much easier. I found, too, it fed my ego more than compassion, after all, “I was right!” But sadly, I wasn’t.

  God has given me several wonderful gifts over the years to help nudge me back to spiritual balance. The one He has used most in my life is my wonderful wife, Jane. If you look up the word “compassion” in the dictionary, you’ll find Jane’s picture there as an illustration. Jane has a servant’s heart. She is consistently consistent. Sometimes I have to confess that I act more loving and compassionate than I actually feel like being.

  Maybe it’s when you are on the receiving end of compassion the Father rings a bell inside your soul. For the past couple of weeks I’ve been on the receiving end. It’s been a powerful reminder to me how important it is to know that your brothers and sisters love you and care for you. I think we assume they know…but assuming is always faulty. We also get busy and forget how important compassion is to others.

  Probably, our biggest issue as Christians at this point in history is we have allowed Satan to cause us to overreact. Our world knows so little of truth. Truth has become fluid and subjective. We live in what the prophet Isaiah described as: “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!” (Isaiah 5:20). In our defense of truth, Satan has often led us to jettison compassion for “truth,” causing us to forget that while we are to cling to the truth, God doesn’t need us to defend the truth. To be candid, for most of us, truth is easier. Yet, truth without love and compassion is often brutal…at the very least, heartless and unfeeling. We forget, too, the issues we face are not new. The 1^st century church faced the identical dilemma of having the truth in a world where there was little or no truth. So much so that Pontius Pilate bemoaned, “What is truth?” (John 18:38).

  As I look back over my life, I can remember very, very few occasions when “truth” in the hands of another was memorable and touched my life. Yet, I’ve lost track of how many times love and compassion from a brother or sister touched my life. Compassion was like medicine for my soul.  

  Some acts of compassion I’m sure seemed so simple, the individual probably gave them little thought. But they were huge for me! Even nearly five decades later, I still remember that Bob and Joyce Collins (Bob was my Sunday School teacher when I was a boy), sent me a card every month for several months just to let me know they were thinking of me after my Mom died. Or, Bob Wroten, Dan Hardin, or Kent and Rita Richards – all of whom would frequently drive out of their way (we’re talking at least ten miles), just to give me a ride to church. Or, the anonymous individual who gave me an airline ticket when I was in Bible College, so I could go home. I didn’t have the money. I hadn’t mentioned it to anyone but one day it just showed up in my mailbox at school. And I can’t tell you how many times that my soul has feasted for days, even weeks on notes of encouragement I’ve received.

  As I had no real family, I am so thankful for many of you who have made our family part of your family. We owe you an unpayable debt. For the rest of our lives, Jane and I will never forget how many of you were there for us as Ben was going through brain surgery. We were never alone at the crisis points of our lives because our family – YOU – were there.

  Yet, it’s hard to care for one another without some level of vulnerability. It was very hard for me to ask for prayer for myself when I learned I had pneumonia and was being hospitalized. It was humbling to admit I didn’t have my act all together. Yet, I knew I had to admit my need. It was the right thing to do and how could you even know how to care unless I admitted I needed care.

  Then, having others visit me in the hospital meant so much. Debbie Ranke even stopped by before her shift began to pray with me and give me a hug. She even graciously scolded me for being a workaholic…words I needed to hear. And words could never express how much I appreciated knowing I was loved and cared for.

  The bottom line is we all need care. I was truly embarrassed recently and apologized to one of our members for being so obtuse. Someone shared with me that this lady hesitated to go out at night to church events because she went home to an empty house. What a simple thing…for someone to go home with her and make sure she’s okay. Or, to at least be available for a phone call after she arrived home to know that all was well.

  Only those on the receiving end know how much it means when someone shares a meal. It’s not the meal, it reminds you that you’re loved. Or, visiting someone in the hospital or making time to go to the funeral visitation when someone has lost a loved one. It can be something as simple as knowing their name, the names of their children and taking a personal interest in their children…and even their grandchildren.

  Jesus said, “By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35). But are we? Are we known for our love for each other? Too often we let the excuse of busyness steal opportunities to share love. Yet, when we give love, guess what happens? We grow, we’re blessed, we’re fulfilled and our Father is pleased! Loving others is rarely convenient. It’s demands something too many of us greedily cling to – our time – Me time. We must make it a priority.

  And for us to love each other, we must be willing to pull aside the masks and become transparent. It could start with just some transparency about prayer needs, admitting we don’t have our act all together. We all struggle with a myriad of sins and temptations. How much more victorious we would be if we knew how to pray for one another and then did it.

  Then, share if you need help. What fun to paint a room with a brother or sister or install some gadget! Help someone plant their garden. I have lifelong friends to this day (Russ and Linda Johns) because when I was a young man, I helped them wash the walls in their home. Make cookies for a single. Open your home. Invite someone out for a cup of coffee or a bite to eat after church. 

  And yes, I’m going to be a broken record. Please don’t just attend the worship service. Be part of a small group…if for no other reason than for the fellowship. Switch what service you go to for a month just so you meet brothers and sisters you don’t know. May Grace Church be known as the church where we love each other and others…and God is pleased! 

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