Successful Parenting

 

“Training a child to follow Christ is easy for parents.

All they have to do is lead the way.”

  Parenting Magazine recently released a list of the best parenting books of  2021. While I haven’t read any of them, they sound very familiar with the popular parenting philosophy of the last 50 years.
  My favorite title was How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen. The authors promise, “This international bestseller will make you calm listeners and see things from your children’s perspectives so that you can communicate with them better.” Personally, I think they’re over-promising. Another was The Whole-Brain Child, “This book lets you understand the reason behind every tantrum of your toddler. If you want to know why are those little monsters throwing a fit at every little thing, you must know how their brain works at that time.” I laughed when I read that and thought, I wonder if there’s an adult version. But none of the “experts” have all of the answers. Often when you see the end product of their own parenting, they raised a Frankenstein. Here’s the truth about parenting from a biblical worldview.
  You’re a parenting failure and were raised by parenting failures. According to Scripture, we’re all sinners (Romans 3:23). The best place to begin a forward path in parenting is to suspect your own sinful heart. The reason some childish behaviors so annoy you is that they reveal sin in your own soul. It’s not the child that first has a problem, it’s you.
  With that our greatest parental blunders are learned from our own parents. We not only pass down our DNA, but we also pass down our sinful patterns. For example, Abraham was the father of the faithful but was a habitual liar (denying your wife is your wife is a big one). Isaac steps right in Dad’s shoes as he lies. Jacob takes lying up to a few notches. His sons are professional liars. They lied that their brother was killed by wild animals when they’d sold him into slavery. Then, they watch their father break down into inconsolable grief.
  Look for sinful patterns in your own parenting. Have a godly friend be graciously honest with you to help. By God’s grace, make your generation the last one with that sinful pattern. You won’t be able to do it alone. It’s why you need help from God and godly friends.
  You have a loving, all-sufficient God who will supply all of your needs, including parental ones. To succeed, we must get your priorities in order. The best parenting book is the Bible. Yet, it’s noteworthy that the Bible says little about parenting but says a lot about who we are and who we’re supposed to be. It’s not our child who needs to first change, we do. We need God’s wisdom and grace because we’re naturally selfish. We must let God’s love flow on us and then through us to our child. Many times what we consider parental love is really self-love. We want our child to behave because it benefits us not them. God’s Word is a mirror that reveals that.
  Parenting is more about God molding you than you molding your children. God is creating a masterpiece – YOU. When a sculptor is chipping away at a piece of marble, I wonder what the marble would say if it could talk? God uses our children to chip away at our sinful hearts.
  First, a child helps us grow past self-love to loving them. Being a parent is the closest we will ever get to modeling God’s unconditional love. We love our children from their first breath when they can return none of that love. In fact, they do many things that should cause us to not love them from screaming when they’re hungry, to spitting up or messing their diapers.
  Then, a child teaches us joy. We’re thrilled with that little grin even if may be gas. Every little step of maturity raises us to ecstasy from rolling over to those first steps and words.
  A child helps us grow in peace. We tend to move at a frenetic pace. Rocking a child to sleep slows us down. We learn to be quiet and move slowly. We become more gentle so we don’t disturb or frighten them.  Seeking to parent our children in a way that’s best for them cultivates the fruit of the Spirit in us.
  Our children teach us to trust more and pray more. If you ever have the opportunity to visit Children’s Hospital, do it. Not only have I visited many patients there, but when our son, Ben, was a child he was hospitalized with epilepsy (he’s since had brain surgery and is seizure-free). Visiting there brings home very powerfully that even the best, most fastidious parent can’t protect their child 24/7. Children are there who are victims of freak accidents. Even the most germaphobe parent can’t protect their child from cancer or leukemia or a malfunctioning heart. Even the F.B.I. (Family Bureau of Investigation) can’t protect a child from the wrong friends, being introduced to drugs or pornography, or even being molested. Most importantly, you can’t protect your child spiritually. They’re born with a sin nature just like their parents. Even with frequent exposure to biblical truth, they will one day have to choose to follow the Lord for themselves. God’s Word tells us that our children are a gift from God (Ps. 127:3). He’s the only One who can protect them and work in their heart. Of all the things that your child needs, one of the greatest gifts you can give them is to pray for them and give them back to the Giver.
  Train a child according to God’s design. One of the most misinterpreted verses in Scripture related to parenting is Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” It doesn’t mean if you invest in a child spiritually, they always return to it. What it means is that you must study your child, know their bent,  temperament, gifts, and abilities and then direct them in the way that God has designed them. Each of us has unique fingerprints and DNA. Our Creator is not in the mass production business. Wise parents don’t attempt to force square children into round holes or to live out the parents’ dreams.
  Follow the example of the only perfect parent – God. If you want to be a successful parent, know your Heavenly Father. As you know the Father, follow His example in how He parents us as His children. God is our best example of love, leadership, and correction. He’s our model of patience and wisdom. He’s the One that teaches us about true success – eternal success.
  Sure, it might be great if your adult child had a college degree or was a successful entrepreneur BUT if they don’t know Jesus as their Savior and live for Him…what does it matter. Do you want to be a successful parent? Love God, live for Him and teach and model that for them.
  I’m sure that some of the latest parenting books have some valid suggestions. The Book that you need to be a successful parent is from the Father who truly does know best, always has, and always will! 

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Priorities

 “You define what’s important by what you dedicate your time to.”

 
Have you ever come across people who clearly have misplaced priorities? We can look at them and realize what they care about is completely out of whack. One such example is that of Marcin Muchalski. Marcin was a tough New Yorker (you gotta give him that much). He was approached by a thief at gunpoint while walking across the Williamsburg Bridge.
  What did the robber want? His cell phone. His Nokia 3390 to be exact. And no, I am not making this up…Mr. Muchalski preferred to risk parting with his life than with his phone. He surmised that the armed bandit would be too timid to shoot him in public at 7:00 a.m. on the bridge, obviously not putting together that this guy was already willing to pull a gun on him, so he dared the guy to shoot him over a phone.
  His assailant found the request reasonable and readily complied, shooting Muchalski in the thigh. Maybe that was the moment when Muchalski realized his assailant was also a tough New Yorker. Did he then hand over the phone? Nope. He hobbled away, clutching his phone as he went, presumably because it came with that Snake game. The gunman fled the scene but was later caught when Muchalski used his phone to call the cops.
  All of us struggle with priorities. While they’ve always been difficult, with the increased choices and options of our culture, evaluating and determining priorities is even more convoluted.
  E.M. Gray spent his life searching for the one denominator that all successful people share. He found it wasn’t hard work, good luck, or astute human relations, though those were all important. The one factor that seemed to transcend all the rest … [was] putting first things first.
  Along the same lines, German writer Johann Wolfgang von Goethe grasped the importance of priorities. He observed, “Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.”
  Setting the right priorities are vital for success, but not just for material success. The Bible sets priorities that lead to eternal life and spiritual success. It’s insignificant to be successful in this short life but a failure for the next. God’s Word tells us that it’s vital to put our priorities in the right order and then carefully cultivate them with zeal and enthusiasm.
  What should our priorities be? Well, if this one is correct, it’s simpler to align other priorities but when it’s not, life is a jumbled mess.
  Christian priority No. 1: God must come first. When God gave the Decalogue at Mount Sinai, He thundered these words: “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. You shall have no other gods before Me” (Ex. 20:2-3). God does not want us to place anything before Him. His desire is that we worship Him, love Him first and that He has first place in our lives.
  How do we demonstrate that God is first, that we truly love Him. When we put His teachings first. 1 John 5:3, “For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome.”
  The evidence that God is first is that we love Him and strive to keep His commandments. “He who says, ‘I know Him,’ and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But whoever keeps His word, truly the love of God is perfected in him” (1 John 2:4-5).
  We have to be honest with ourselves. Are we putting our relationship with God first, or allowing other aspects of our lives to come before the priority and worship of the one true God?
  Our priorities determine how we start our day. For some sleep is a priority and they continually hit the snooze button, squeezing every moment of slumber that they can. For others, coffee is a top priority. They don’t start the day without it or that stop by a favorite coffee shop. Our priorities direct and alter our lives.
  When God is first, we give Him the best. He’s not squeezed into the margins of our life. Amazingly and wonderfully, when God is first everything else: marriage, family, work, leisure, finances, friendships, mental health, etc. falls more easily into place. Our relationship with God must be our true north. When He’s not first, we find ourselves floundering, fighting and feeling frustrated through life.
  Back in the dark ages before the Internet and inexpensive cell phone calls, Jane and I had a long-distance romance. We wrote letters, lots of them. And when I got a letter from Jane, I’d read it and then I’d re-read it, and then I’d re-read it again. Think about this – the Creator of the universe, the God who knows everything about you, Who loves you and gave His Son for you, gave you a love letter – the Bible.
  But how can we think that God is our priority when we rarely if ever read His Word. The average American spends between 3 to 5 hours on their cell phone every day. Why? Our phones are a priority. If you don’t believe that just misplace yours and see how frantic you become. God and His Word must be like that. His Word becomes so much a part of our lives that it’s our normal. We want to hear from and talk to our Heavenly Father each day. Yet, it’s not enough to read or even study God’s Word, we must obey and apply Scripture to our lives.
  One Christian leader spent time in war-torn Angola and learned something from those rural villages that changed their walk with God and response to His Word. Their Angolan friend and guide told them, “One of the most frustrating things is that in villages where they received seed, they often eat the seed rather than planting it and bringing forth the harvest.”
  This is the reason why some Christians see the fruit of God’s Word in their lives and others don’t. For example, why have many of us read books on forgiving people, known the teachings were true and right, cried over them, marked them up with highlighters, yet remain in our bitterness? Because we ate the seed instead of sowing it.
  When God is our priority, His Word isn’t just information, it becomes our map for life. We read the Word of God. We hear it. Some even study it, but it has so little effect because we fail to apply it to our lives.
  If we want to reap a harvest of our full potential in Christ, then we must ask the Holy Spirit to make God’s Word work in our everyday circumstances. It’s not enough just to study the Word, we must apply it, too! We must, with God’s help, put it into practice and obey Him. As it says of these early believers in Acts 2, we must, with reverence and awe, “devote ourselves to the apostle’s teaching.”
  Are there other priorities? Absolutely. When your Heavenly Father is first, He will direct you by His guidance and wisdom into prioritizing them. Too many Christians flounder through life when God wants us to have fulfilled, meaningful lives. It only happens as we keep the main Person the main focus of our lives. Christian priority No. 1: God must come first.

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

A Crash of Selfishness

 

“The DNA of sin is selfishness. Sin inserts me into the middle of my universe; the one place reserved for God and God alone. Sin reduces my field of concern down to my wants, my needs, and my feelings. Sin really does make it all about me.”  Paul Tripp

 
  It’s a scene so shocking that you may want to Google it to see it for yourself. As this year’s bicyclists in the Tour de France started off, a self-absorbed fan attempting to pose for the TV cameras caused a horrible crash that plunged the first stage of the Tour de France into chaos.
  The disastrous crash was caused by a woman standing on the roadside of the Tour’s opening stage. To make sure that she was on TV, she stepped in front of the racing pack holding a cardboard sign, displaying a message for the cameras. With one foot on the road and her cardboard sign encouraging riders to “Go!” hanging out onto the course, the spectator’s head was turned in the opposite direction of the cyclists when disaster struck.
  Her sign was in the direct path of the first cyclist, German rider, Tony Martin, who was cycling near the head of the pack. He fell, which led to the subsequent crash of dozens of riders behind him. Cyclists then began to fall en masse as the crash left bikes and bodies tangled in the road. The crash held the race up for several minutes. Multiple bikes were damaged as a result of the crash but the injury toll to riders wasn’t immediately clear.
  Later a bloodied Tony Martin returned to the race but Jasha Sutterlin of Germany reportedly withdrew because of the crash. All because one spectator wanted her 15 seconds of fame – the high price of selfishness.
  Behind nearly every marital fight is selfishness. Why do children squabble? Selfishness. At the root of every church split, you’ll find selfishness. The cancer that steals our joy is selfishness. Yet, selfishness is encouraged and applauded in a selfie world. It hides behind phrases like, “I need me time” or “I’ve got to take care of myself.”
  Our sin-contaminated world applauds self-idolization. We pose for selfies, edit our images, and self-promote the best parts of our lives. We post selfies to get “likes” and admiration, while the time we spend thinking of ourselves grows like an out-of-control noxious weed. Our selfies scream, “Look at me! Look at what I’m doing! Look at what I have!”
  Our sin nature feeds our selfish passions. We improve our looks. We do more document-worthy stuff. We acquire more things to “snap” and “share.” While we may not be famous on Instagram, most of us think of ourselves far too much. Scrolling through or actively posting to social media adds to such overthinking. The less we guard ourselves in a selfie world, the more we turn the lens of our hearts inward. It’s our story that matters – our needs, wants, and desires. Yet, the selfish person struggles with insecurity and is often overwhelmed with doubt. Selfishness starves our souls, contaminates our lives with unhappiness and even anger, when “I” don’t have my needs met.
  Apart from the power of the Gospel, it’s difficult to be selfless. Even when we’re caring for others, there’s a voice inside whispering, “I hope others are watching to see how much I care.” It’s only when we know the sacrificial Savior that we can truly have victory over being self-absorbed.
  How can we have victory over selfishness? The answer is love. The greatest commandments are the foundation for all Christian ethics and for the Christian life: “And Jesus said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets’” (Matt. 22:37-40).
  As we devote ourselves to loving God and loving our neighbors, we turn our attention away from inside of ourselves. This call to love is fundamental, demanding, and only possible for those who have been born again by the Spirit of God because God is love. Love requires selflessness. Though it seems counterintuitive, it’s only as we love God and others that we have joy, peace and contentment. Those are never found in self-love. How do we demonstrate the distinctiveness of Christian love?
  Love values the other person. Each person we meet is Imago Dei, thus we don’t confuse love with the counterfeits of lust, sentimentality, or self-gratification. While love includes wonderful, warm feelings, it’s much more than a feeling. Love is a decision. We choose to love. God loved us not because we had something to offer Him, but rather because He had something to offer us. “For God loved the world in this way: He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16). God chose to love us so that He could demonstrate His mercy to us in the person of His Son.
  Love is vulnerable to the other. Love opens up its life to another person. It breaks down barriers and exposes the heart. Selfless love is the most costly investment you will ever make.
  C. S. Lewis, in The Four Loves, describes the vulnerable nature of love, “To love is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries. Avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken. Instead, it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”
  Love is costly. It takes risks and goes out on a limb. Love makes a statement and leaves a legacy. It does the unexpected, surprising, and stirring. It performs acts that steal the heart and leaves an impression on the soul. Often these acts are never forgotten.
  A little girl named Liz was suffering from a rare life-threatening disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year-old brother, who had somehow survived the same disease but had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother and asked the little boy if he’d be willing to give his blood to his sister. He hesitated for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, “Yes, I’ll do it if it will save her.”
  As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then, his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, “Will I start to die right away?” The little boy had misunderstood the doctor. He thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her. That’s love. Love is selfless and sacrificial. As someone insightfully wrote: “Nothing is more a contradiction than to profess to be a Christian and live for oneself.”

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Are the Catholic Bishops Bigots?

 

“We have no right to prejudice another in his civil enjoyments because he is of another church.”  Thomas Jefferson

 

  A Belgian farmer accidentally altered the border of Belgium and France after moving a boundary stone to make way for his tractor. A history enthusiast walking the national border between France and Belgium was the first to notice that one of the stones marking the boundary between the countries since 1819 had been displaced by more than 7 feet—making France smaller and Belgium larger. Officials with the Belgian government said they’ve asked the farmer to return the stone to its proper place. Failing that, the long-dormant Franco-Belgian border commission will have to resolve the dispute. “We should be able to avoid a new border war,” neighboring French Mayor Aurélie Welonek told La Voix du Nord.
  There’s been a growing movement to move the boundaries of religious freedom and rights of faith groups for the last fifty years. It’s moving toward a “holy war” though one side will fight in the courts to preserve one of our greatest blessings of the United States, a blessing that was essentially unknown in any other nation until the birth of America – the 1^st Amendment: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof…” 

  But it’s not Congress that has continually infringed on our 1^st Amendment rights, it’s the courts as judicial activists which was never the intent of our Founding Fathers. A continual phrase that’s used to justify these egregious actions against people of faith is the “separation of Church and State.”
  Educated individuals know that the phrase is not in the Constitution. It was Jefferson, in personal correspondence, when he was President, who used it referring to the State meddling in the affairs of the Church, not the Church seeking to control the State.
  Enemies of the Church continually seek to manipulate the court of public opinion with accusations of hate, bigotry, meanness. They use slurs and emotionalism rather than objective truth and reasoned argument. No longer content to seek to eradicate religious rights and secularize the public square, they now seek secularization within religious groups and will not be satisfied until all people of faith are goose-stepping with their agenda.
  A clear example of this is the attack on the Catholic Church for refusing Holy Communion to pro-abortion politicians. As a Bible-believing Christian, I do not believe in the sacramental teaching of the Catholic Church and have fundamental theological differences on an entire range of issues from the authority of Scripture, justification by faith alone, all of the Solas of the Reformation and would even differ with their view of birth control. Yet, this is a shared moral conviction on the sanctity and dignity of human life. If we believe in the Bill of Rights in general and the 1^st Amendment specifically, we must defend the Catholic Church’s right to govern their church as they see fit and hold to their convictions.
  Some years ago our family visited Salt Lake City and the Mormon Tabernacle but were not allowed entry into the Temple because we weren’t LDS. Holding certain dogma and restrictions is common to nearly every religion. Muslims limit non-Muslims from their mosques and holy sites and Jews limit even Jewish women from certain places. Religious groups limiting access to worship settings or practices is common as it fits their belief system. Christianity is rare in that there are no spaces where unbelievers are not welcome, though they, like the Catholic Church, may limit participation in certain religious practices.
  While President Biden is our second Catholic president, he is the most pro-abortion president in our history and is out of touch with popular opinion. A recent survey found that while 61% said abortion should be legal in most or all cases during the first trimester, in the second trimester, about two-thirds of respondents, 65%, said abortion should be illegal in most or all cases, and in the third, 80% of respondents oppose abortion.
  Catholic dogma teaches that abortion is murder. The outcry of cruelty in refusing holy communion to pro-abortion politicians brings to my mind the baptism scene in The Godfather near the end of the movie. While the new Godfather, Michael Corleone, is being asked by the priest baptizing his son, “Do you renounce Satan and all of his works?” To which he responds, “I do renounce them.” At that very same time Corleone is having his rivals assassinated. Movie director, Francis Ford Coppola, brilliantly contrasted the murderous evil Corleone had ordered while going through the motions of verbalizing righteousness in parenting the new life of his son.
  Everyone knows that the Catholic Church is unapologetically pro-life. One wonders if those appalled that Catholics are being consistent would agree to allowing them to refuse anyone from communion. Should they be forced to offer communion to anyone? What about a devil worshipper, or a Nazi or white supremacist? Does a faith group’s precious beliefs mean anything or must it cave to the court of evolving morality and public opinion. Faith groups, in light of the clear wording of the 1^st Amendment, must be able to refuse communion or anything else to those they believe violates their sacred tenets, in this case, the sanctity of life.  
  The Catholic Church is sending a powerful message in that Archbishop Cordileone, the Archbishop of San Francisco issued a pastoral letter on the human dignity of the unborn, Holy Communion and Catholics in public life. He writes: “This is especially a time for us Catholics, whose faith calls us to advocate for the universal good of a consistent ethic of life in every stage and in every condition to call our country back to respect for human life…and this is especially so for Catholics who are prominent in all walks of public life, entertainment, media, politics, education, the corporate world, and so forth, as they have such a powerful influence on shaping the attitudes and practices of people in our nation.”
  Mark it down. People of faith and conviction will not compromise even if courts or public opinion rage against them. We can’t. We answer to a Higher Authority. As Peter answered the government of his day, “We must obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29). In 2,000 years the Church has not surrendered, Look at China and Iran if you want to see how the Church will respond to pressure and persecution. I’m thankful for the 1^st Amendment, but God’s people will still do right and act righteously even if someday we no longer have it. “We must obey God rather than men.”

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

 

Forgiveness

 

“Every one says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive.”   C. S. Lewis

 After getting married in Texas, a former Oklahoma resident recently learned she was a wanted woman. While attempting to update her driver’s license with her new name, Caron McBride had a government official tell her she had an outstanding warrant in Oklahoma. “The first thing she told me was felony embezzlement, so, I thought I was gonna have a heart attack,” McBride said. After investigating, she learned the felony warrant had been issued in 2000 when a video rental store claimed she didn’t return a VHS tape of Sabrina the Teenage Witch. McBride said she’s never watched the show but her former boyfriend may have forgotten to return the rental. The rental store in Norman, Oklahoma closed in 2008. After examining the file, the local district attorney dismissed the case in April. 

  Caron McBride said the embezzlement charge also explains why she’s been abruptly fired from multiple jobs over the past 20 years. “This is why… because when they ran my criminal background check, all they’re seeing is those two words: felony embezzlement.” 

  Ours is a world that knows little of forgiveness. Foolish antics or words from decades past can cost someone their career, even if they were done during the immaturity of adolescence. Periodically something as innocuous as an unreturned VHS tape or library book causes major issues. 

  The word “forgive” means to wipe the slate clean, to pardon, to cancel a debt. When we wrong someone, we seek their forgiveness in order for the relationship to be restored. Forgiveness is not granted because a person deserves to be forgiven. No one deserves to be forgiven. Forgiveness is an act of love, mercy, and grace. Forgiveness is a decision to not hold something against another person, despite what they have done to you. 

  Forgiveness distinguishes Christianity from all other religions. In Christianity according to the Bible sin is forgiven by the substitutionary death of Jesus on the cross. “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through [the death of] Christ  Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death” (Romans 8:1). According to the Bible, when one is saved through the blood of Jesus, all one’s sins are completely forgiven.  No good deed can possibly bring about this forgiveness. It’s an act of God based on the sacrifice of His Son and God’s forgiveness is complete and unconditional. 

  But not only do we all sin against God, we're all sinned against by other people. We aren’t just the perpetrators of sin—we are also the victims of it. Someone you thought that you could trust hurt you. Someone said cruel things about you to your face or worse, behind your back. Someone took advantage of you financially and they didn’t care what hardship it would bring to you or your family. A parent withheld the affection and love you desperately needed. A spouse left or betrayed you. A co-worker took credit for your work. The list is endless. 

  It’s why we all face the challenge of forgiving others.  Forgiving others is not easy.  It’s much easier to seek revenge or live in bitterness. Because God has forgiven us, Christians are called to forgive as they’ve been forgiven. Since we’ve been forgiven by God of a greater debt than anyone will ever owe us, we must forgive (Ephesians 4:31-21). Someone who refuses to forgive doesn’t know God and hasn’t experienced His grace. 

  Forgiveness doesn’t mean that we agree with another’s sin against us or that we dismiss it as unimportant. Nor are we to compromise our Christian convictions or become a codependent doormat, allowing people to walk all over us. Forgiveness does mean, however, that we will choose not to carry a grudge against someone for their having offended us.  

  Because Christians can forgive in the strength and power of the gospel, they have the ability to forgive anyone who sins against them. Jesus commands us to, “Love our enemies.” He says, “Bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you” (Matthew 5:44). We must forgive and we must forgive continually. You may be asking, “How in the world is that possible? How can I forgive and not hold a grudge?” It’s only by God’s grace. His grace that forgave you enables you to forgive someone else. 

  The Grossmeyers went on a peace-making mission in Poland a few years after World War II. They were emissaries of Christians in Germany and went to Christians in Poland and asked, “Would you be willing to meet with some Christians from West Germany? They want to ask you for forgiveness for what Germany did during the war and begin a new relationship. Would you meet with them?” There was a long silence. Then one of the Polish Christians said, “What you ask is impossible. Every stone of Warsaw is soaked with Polish blood that they spilled. We cannot forgive.” And the Grossmeyers understood their emotional response. They knew what had happened. 

  They finished their visit and were about to leave but they asked if they could conclude their time together by gathering and praying The Lord’s Prayer in unison. These Polish Christians grudgingly agreed. So, these believers knelt down and prayed as Christians have in every country, through every century for 2,000 years: “Our Father in heaven, Hallowed be Your name, Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us today our daily bread—and… They stopped. They couldn’t pray anymore. There was a long tense silence in the room and finally the one who said they couldn’t forgive said, “I must say ‘yes’ to your request because if I don’t forgive, I can no longer pray this prayer. I can no longer call myself God’s child if I don’t forgive. Humanly speaking, I can’t do it. But God will give me the strength.” So, they finished the prayer—and 18 months later, Polish Christians and West German Christians met in Vienna and established a friendship that lasts to this day. 

  I wonder how many marriages might have been transformed or how many friendships, families or churches might have been similarly healed if when the Lord’s Prayer was prayed believers just stopped at that line as those Polish Christians did and let the Spirit work. 

  Friend, you’ll never have to forgive someone more than God forgave you. Let God use that reality to begin to thaw your heart toward that person. Whenever we forgive—whenever a relationship is healed it’s a wonderful thing—a powerful thing—a miraculous thing! It’s a God thing because only God truly knows, teaches, and can enable us to forgive.

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Investing Generationally

 

“If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.” 

                                                                                Isaac Newton

 

In Homer’s epic poem The Odyssey, famed Greek soldier Odysseus is off battling in the Trojan War. Meanwhile, his son Telemachus is left with the warrior’s trusted friend, Mentor. For 20 years, Odysseus’ military campaign kept him away from home. Upon his return, he found his son a grown and mature man—thanks to Mentor’s wise and careful tutelage. 

  Over the years, Homer’s mentor has become synonymous with teaching and leading. It’s a badge given to those who serve as role models and human standards. 

  At Grace, we talk a lot about that the Bible teaches that as believers we’re a family. It must be more than rhetoric. It means that in our church we must be spiritual brothers, sisters, mothers, and fathers. If there was ever a time when a generation needed more family, more Dads, and Moms, it’s today. 

  Yet, you can’t speak into the next generation’s lives if you’re arrogant or insulting. The term “snowflake” is an offensive addition to the cultural vernacular. It’s used as an insulting way to refer to a young person who is easily offended, especially by opinions different from their own. Calling someone names won’t help build bridges or speak helpfully into the lives of the next generation. No one likes to be lectured or chewed out. 

  When I was a boy, the worst hour of my week was having my Dad take me to the barbershop. For the entire drive, there and back, he’d lecture me on what a terrible person I was and that I’d never amount to anything. Unfortunately, it was a common approach for his generation, particularly with their children. Archie Bunker was symbolic of a generation. 

  Christians must be different. We must live out 1 Timothy 4:12: “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” If we want to make a difference in young lives, we must be kind, respectful, and listen. Perhaps if we did, a younger generation would be less inclined to tune us out. 

  The Christian life is one of investing in the lives of others. Jesus did it. Moses did it. Solomon did it. Paul did it…and so must we. It’s homework that’s spread over a lifetime. It’s the assignment that counts most in the classroom of spiritual growth and leadership. Mentoring should begin early. There are always those coming behind us who could use our help. 

  Personally, I’m continually amazed at the thoughtful insights of a younger generation within our own church. We’re blessed with several young leaders who have a heart for the Lord and blessed with wisdom beyond their years. Yet, many of them are looking for a father or mother figure as they navigate marriage, child-rearing, career, etc. 

  Recently, I shared with my small group that one of my great burdens at Grace is our lack of intergenerational interaction. We have been given an opportunity to mentor, to speak into the lives of others from other generations, yet seem to be missing this opportunity. 

  There are various reasons this has developed. First, we’re most comfortable with those who are like us – chronologically, economically, maritally, even number or age of our children. It’s also how our culture typically divides. 

  Secondly, God has blessed us and we’re a growing church. As a result, we have many, many new people at our church. Very few though grew up in our church. Some churches are a “family church” where multiple generations from the same family grew up in the same church. That’s rarely the case at Grace. Instead, many are either new to Grace or even new to the area. Age is rarely a factor. We have young and old who have uprooted and transplanted to our community and our church. 

  This lack of roots makes a need for “family” much greater. Many of those who are younger in our church do not have parents, grandparents, or even siblings close by. Older adults often don’t have children or lifelong friends close by. There’s a sense of uprootedness, feeling disconnected and lonely. 

  Making new friends or connections is risky. Some, unfortunately, play it safe. Church is little more than a weekly event without being a relational family. They put their hour in and scoot quickly out the door. There’s a big problem with that. It’s not a biblical model and it’s not our DNA at Grace.

  Others find a few friends and latch on to them. It was a risk to find new friends and now that they’ve found them, they’re comfortable. Without meaning too, they become a closed circle (it’s a nice word for clique, sorry). While most of us find that we’re more comfortable with a certain circle of friends, it’s wrong to close our circle. 

  How can we fulfill the Great Commission when our circle is closed? And we easily reach a spiritual saturation point where our friends are no longer challenging us to grow spiritually and we aren’t challenging them.

  The Christian life is not to plateau. God has called us as He did the Children of Israel to possess “a land of mountains and valleys” (Deut. 11:11). If we’re not taking new ground or gaining new relationships, we’re stagnating spiritually and relationally. The Bible continually compares the Christian life to a walk. Walking requires continual forward progress.

  Some will rationalize that others aren’t friendly to them so they don’t reach out. It’s a sinful selfie perspective. Jesus commands us to serve not to be served, that includes “serving” by reaching out to make new friends.

  We need each other to grow spiritually. Each of us can mentor and be mentored. Yet, while it’s vital for our spiritual health, it pushes our comfort zones. The Christian life is not about being comfortable.

  So, let me challenge you to reach out to those you’ve not reached out to within our church. You’ll be shocked at how wonderful and interesting they are. You’ll find that you’re stretched spiritually which we constantly need.

  Here’s a simple way to start – move! Sit in a different area of the church. If you sit in the back, sit in the front. If you sit on the right, sit on the left. 

  Then, commit to having a meal once a month or once a quarter with someone outside of your normal friend circle. If you’re nervous, go to a restaurant so it will be time-limited. Just do it. Cross-generational lines. It’s an opportunity to mentor and be mentored. All of us can grow in this area. 

  One of our best models that we have at Grace of this is Montez Thompson. Though in her nineties Montez is flexible and growing. Periodically, she’ll go out with a group of ladies from Grace, all from different generations. (Subtle hint…if you want in on this, Montez loves Red Lobster). If someone in their nineties still has that kind of flexibility and vision, what’s wrong with the rest of us? Let’s do it! Please start today! 

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head

 

“Criticism is an indirect form of self-boasting.” Emmet Fox

 

  No doubt we embarrass our children, but when certain songs are played, we step back in time and start acting like giddy teenagers. All of us have “our” music. There were those we sang or danced to during our youth that has a special place in our memories. 

  I loved the music of B.J. Thomas. When I learned that he passed away at the end of May, immediately one of his top songs, Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head, starting playing on the jukebox of my mind. 

  Thomas married singer-songwriter Gloria Richardson in December 1968 and they had three daughters. But shortly after his career began, he became dependent on drugs and alcohol, which led to his marriage nearly ending. 

  Wonderfully, on January 28, 1976, B.J. committed his life to Jesus Christ. A month later his wife, Gloria did, too. Because of his newfound faith, he began recording gospel albums. His was the first Christian album to go platinum and he became the biggest contemporary Christian musician of that time. He put out a massively successful album of Christian music yet found himself confronted by an evangelical culture eager for stars but instantly, angrily critical of them. His biggest critics were fellow believers. Hailed as a new evangelical icon but then heckled, booed, and berated by born-again fans who didn’t think he was performing his Christianity right. 

  “I think it’s a really sad commentary when people who want to refer to themselves as quote-Christians-unquote would want to come out and hear someone just to boo them,” he said in a 2019 interview. “That to me was always tough to deal with, and I just stopped making 100 percent gospel records.” 

  His most public clash came in 1982 after he’d won his 5^th Gospel Grammy. He sang a string of his secular hits to an Oklahoma audience and a woman started shouting at him to talk about Jesus. He told her he wished Jesus would make her be quiet and then said, “I’m not going to put up with this” and walked off stage. Someone shouted, “You’re losing your witness, B.J.,” and there were scattered boos. He returned to the stage and continued the show, but not before critiquing the fans. “You people love to get together with your gospel singers and talk about how you lead all the pop singers to the Lord. But when you get them in front of you, you can't love them, can you? I've got Jesus, but you can't love me.” He complained that Christians “can’t seem to hear somebody sing. It’s always got to be some kind of Christian cliché or Bible song, or they feel it’s their right before God to reject and judge and scoff.” 

  Isn’t that heartbreaking? We who are brothers and sisters in Christ are often the most critical and even vicious with each other over non-essentials. We’re rightly appalled by “cancel culture,” yet Christians have their own version of “cancel culture.” Frequently, it’s because we’re ignorant of Scripture. The Bible teaches soul liberty over non-essentials and non-biblical issues (Romans 14 & 1 Corinthians 9). At Grace Church, we’re committed to the great quote by Augustine: In essentials unity, in non-essentials liberty, in all things charity. While we dare not compromise where the Bible is clear, i.e., doctrine or what are referred to as the fundamentals of the faith, many want to criticize and divide over personal preferences. Why can Christians be so critical? 

  We’re so focused on the negatives of sin, we overlook the positives of salvation. When God repeated the Law for Israel, He gave them both blessings and cursings. We tend to focus on the one prohibited tree in the Garden overlooking the countless ones God encouraged and freely gave. The fourth chapter of Ephesians is a wonderful example of sinful behaviors to abandon, yet godly, fulfilling ones to replace them with. We foolishly tend to look for what’s wrong in God’s world rather than all that’s right. 

  Our thinking is contaminated by a lost world rather than transformed by the gospel. This world is negative, critical, and hopeless. Take a 24 hour period and mark down how many negative or critical things you see, hear, or are told. Tabulate that against how many encouraging or positive ones. Believers are commanded to be in the world but not of it. Even our thinking which will bear fruit in our behavior is to be encouragingly different. Philippians 4:8 commands us: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” 

  Pride and pettiness are enticing. The Pharisees who crucified Jesus believed they were more spiritual because they had the highest standards and the longest list of “don’ts.” That was brought home to me recently as I read criticism of The Chosen, the new multi-season TV show about the life of Christ. It’s truly seeking to honor God’s Word and the Lord Jesus. But if you Google it, you’ll find Christians who object to it because the series invents dialogue and backstories for Bible characters. Others are offended by on-screen depictions of Jesus based on the 2^nd Commandment. 

  Pride tempts us to judge things as wrong where Scripture is at best very vague. This habit of censuring other’s preferences is found in every sphere of life from entertainment to music to career to diet choices to vaccines to political affiliation to dress, ad nauseum. While there are clear biblical boundaries, yet what’s frequently labeled biblically wrong is usually a personal preference. When we have “higher standards” we easily succumb to the repugnant sin of pride, becoming petty and critical. God’s Word is clear that those who are truly righteous are humble and gracious. 

  As much as possible, Christians are to be the Yes People. Our focus and mental diet must be on what’s right in God’s creation and His countless blessings. As Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 1:19-20, “For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, whom we proclaimed among you…was not Yes and No, but in Him it is always Yes. For all the promises of God find their Yes in Him.” While we must not close our eyes to sin and evil, that is not where we are to mentally dwell. Instead, we’re to think and live as Heaven’s citizens now. As we do, a pessimistic world is attracted to the grace and goodness of our Heavenly Father! 

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.