Forgiveness

 

“Every one says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive.”   C. S. Lewis

 After getting married in Texas, a former Oklahoma resident recently learned she was a wanted woman. While attempting to update her driver’s license with her new name, Caron McBride had a government official tell her she had an outstanding warrant in Oklahoma. “The first thing she told me was felony embezzlement, so, I thought I was gonna have a heart attack,” McBride said. After investigating, she learned the felony warrant had been issued in 2000 when a video rental store claimed she didn’t return a VHS tape of Sabrina the Teenage Witch. McBride said she’s never watched the show but her former boyfriend may have forgotten to return the rental. The rental store in Norman, Oklahoma closed in 2008. After examining the file, the local district attorney dismissed the case in April. 

  Caron McBride said the embezzlement charge also explains why she’s been abruptly fired from multiple jobs over the past 20 years. “This is why… because when they ran my criminal background check, all they’re seeing is those two words: felony embezzlement.” 

  Ours is a world that knows little of forgiveness. Foolish antics or words from decades past can cost someone their career, even if they were done during the immaturity of adolescence. Periodically something as innocuous as an unreturned VHS tape or library book causes major issues. 

  The word “forgive” means to wipe the slate clean, to pardon, to cancel a debt. When we wrong someone, we seek their forgiveness in order for the relationship to be restored. Forgiveness is not granted because a person deserves to be forgiven. No one deserves to be forgiven. Forgiveness is an act of love, mercy, and grace. Forgiveness is a decision to not hold something against another person, despite what they have done to you. 

  Forgiveness distinguishes Christianity from all other religions. In Christianity according to the Bible sin is forgiven by the substitutionary death of Jesus on the cross. “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through [the death of] Christ  Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death” (Romans 8:1). According to the Bible, when one is saved through the blood of Jesus, all one’s sins are completely forgiven.  No good deed can possibly bring about this forgiveness. It’s an act of God based on the sacrifice of His Son and God’s forgiveness is complete and unconditional. 

  But not only do we all sin against God, we're all sinned against by other people. We aren’t just the perpetrators of sin—we are also the victims of it. Someone you thought that you could trust hurt you. Someone said cruel things about you to your face or worse, behind your back. Someone took advantage of you financially and they didn’t care what hardship it would bring to you or your family. A parent withheld the affection and love you desperately needed. A spouse left or betrayed you. A co-worker took credit for your work. The list is endless. 

  It’s why we all face the challenge of forgiving others.  Forgiving others is not easy.  It’s much easier to seek revenge or live in bitterness. Because God has forgiven us, Christians are called to forgive as they’ve been forgiven. Since we’ve been forgiven by God of a greater debt than anyone will ever owe us, we must forgive (Ephesians 4:31-21). Someone who refuses to forgive doesn’t know God and hasn’t experienced His grace. 

  Forgiveness doesn’t mean that we agree with another’s sin against us or that we dismiss it as unimportant. Nor are we to compromise our Christian convictions or become a codependent doormat, allowing people to walk all over us. Forgiveness does mean, however, that we will choose not to carry a grudge against someone for their having offended us.  

  Because Christians can forgive in the strength and power of the gospel, they have the ability to forgive anyone who sins against them. Jesus commands us to, “Love our enemies.” He says, “Bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you” (Matthew 5:44). We must forgive and we must forgive continually. You may be asking, “How in the world is that possible? How can I forgive and not hold a grudge?” It’s only by God’s grace. His grace that forgave you enables you to forgive someone else. 

  The Grossmeyers went on a peace-making mission in Poland a few years after World War II. They were emissaries of Christians in Germany and went to Christians in Poland and asked, “Would you be willing to meet with some Christians from West Germany? They want to ask you for forgiveness for what Germany did during the war and begin a new relationship. Would you meet with them?” There was a long silence. Then one of the Polish Christians said, “What you ask is impossible. Every stone of Warsaw is soaked with Polish blood that they spilled. We cannot forgive.” And the Grossmeyers understood their emotional response. They knew what had happened. 

  They finished their visit and were about to leave but they asked if they could conclude their time together by gathering and praying The Lord’s Prayer in unison. These Polish Christians grudgingly agreed. So, these believers knelt down and prayed as Christians have in every country, through every century for 2,000 years: “Our Father in heaven, Hallowed be Your name, Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us today our daily bread—and… They stopped. They couldn’t pray anymore. There was a long tense silence in the room and finally the one who said they couldn’t forgive said, “I must say ‘yes’ to your request because if I don’t forgive, I can no longer pray this prayer. I can no longer call myself God’s child if I don’t forgive. Humanly speaking, I can’t do it. But God will give me the strength.” So, they finished the prayer—and 18 months later, Polish Christians and West German Christians met in Vienna and established a friendship that lasts to this day. 

  I wonder how many marriages might have been transformed or how many friendships, families or churches might have been similarly healed if when the Lord’s Prayer was prayed believers just stopped at that line as those Polish Christians did and let the Spirit work. 

  Friend, you’ll never have to forgive someone more than God forgave you. Let God use that reality to begin to thaw your heart toward that person. Whenever we forgive—whenever a relationship is healed it’s a wonderful thing—a powerful thing—a miraculous thing! It’s a God thing because only God truly knows, teaches, and can enable us to forgive.

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

God-Talk in God's Family

“Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee and just as hard to sleep after.”  Anne Morrow Lindbergh

  Does your family have a story? Nearly every family does. Our family loves to spend time together just talking. Sometimes it’s serious. Many times we’re giggling or laughing. Lots of times we reflect on funny stories from the past. There are stories and “key” words only we understand. For example, all five of us know what “pudding” means and it’s not a dessert.

  These family stories make us who we are and draw us closer to each other. Someday we’ll pass on many of these wonderful stories to our grandchildren. They’re the heartfelt conversations which make us unique and who we are. Your family probably has them too.

  God’s plan is for each local church to be a family. Sadly, we’ve veered from that, particularly in America. Often the local church is more like a business, a religious franchise. It’s not what God designed us for.

  Anyone studying the New Testament quickly realizes God planned for the local church to be a family. It’s one reason why we believe joining a local church is biblical. It’s very hard to be a “family” when you’re uncertain of who’s really in the family or who’s committed to it.

  It struck me recently we’re missing out on something when we’re together we can’t have out there – family conversations. Jesus designed us to be a Christian counterculture. Our conversations with each other when we gather to worship and fellowship should be different than nearly any other place. Have you ever noticed though, when we’re with our brothers and sisters in Christ, we talk about nearly everything else but family matters? Shouldn’t spiritual family conversations dominate our dialogue, rather than be the exception? Our times together are opportunities for us to fulfill those powerful “one another” commands in the New Testament?

  Some conversations shouldn’t take place though in a church family. They’re story and “one another” killers. Let me touch on a few.

  Whining/complaining. Whining kills communication and God hates whining. It cost the Children of Israel 40 years of wandering. Most churches have far too much of it. It’s usually over miniscule things: room temperature, music, seating, refreshments, minor annoyances, volume, etc.

  Sarcasm. Our culture is verbally cruel. Sometimes at church the pagan language of digs, put-downs or cuts is used. It’s wrong and it’s sin.

  Politics. When it comes to biblical values, there’s very little difference between the political parties. It’s primarily a philosophy of government. The only biblical form of government is a Theocracy, which was for Israel and won’t happen again until King Jesus returns. To cause Kingdom division over human government is a violation of Galatians 3:28.

  Business. Jesus cast the moneychangers out of the Temple. Yet, Americans are so “business” focused, it dominates our conversations, even in church. In a day of cell phones and e-mail, let’s work to keep the main thing the main thing – Jesus and His family.

  Just a side note here, as plans for our new facility continue to develop, it’s tempting to focus on style, costs, etc…and talk about it a lot. This new facility is not the church, WE are. It’s merely a tool to help us serve King Jesus. Most conversations about it should go something like this, “Isn’t it exciting what God is doing? How can we pray more wisely?”

  What are some family conversations we should be having lots of? There are many, let me just touch on a few. All of these find their heart with first loving each other, as Jesus commanded us to do, John 13:34-35.

  We must encourage each other. If you and I do not encourage one another, where else is encouragement going to take place? Each week many come in battered and bruised for a myriad of reasons. For some in our church family, this is their safe place. Look for ways to encourage others, particularly spiritually encouragement, 1 Thessalonians 5:11.

  We must pray for and with each other. Nothing so thrills my heart than to see folk gathered together praying for each other. Perhaps someone shared a special burden or need. Brothers and sisters stopped right there and prayed with them. Where else can we do that? If you do that at Walmart or the Packer’s game, people will think you’re a wacko.

  We must be kind to each other. Do you look for kind things to say to others? Do you ask how things are going so you can pray for them more intelligently? Do they know you care? Do you? Do you know what burdens or blessings they have? We’re to be kind to each other, Ephesians 4:32.

  We must admonish each other. Isn’t this odd? It’s not strange at church to ask someone how work is going or how their kids are doing, even if they’ve lost weight. Yet, somehow it’s weird to ask: What is God teaching you these days? What are you learning from His Word? We need to admonish each other, Colossians 3:16.

  We must forgive each other. You’re not a Christian unless you’ve been forgiven. Each of us has been forgiven horrible crimes against God. Yet, many of the “forgiven” carry smoldering cinders of bitterness, often for years, toward other believers. We must forgive each other, Ephesians 4:32.

  How can we grow in this area? How do we start making spiritual church family conversations “normal”? It’s simple – just start. Perhaps begin sharing one on one something the Lord is teaching you or something you need prayer for, or some special blessing the Lord has given you.

  This is new, so baby steps are best. Here are some questions to consider: What’s your most important spiritual goal right now? What’s something you believe from the Bible without any doubts? What book of the Bible has had a great influence on you? If God granted you any one request, what would it be? What would you most like people to remember you for after you die? What are the biggest questions you have about your relationship with God? What’s something you’re thankful for in your life right now?

  If there is one place for God-talk, it’s when you’re with God’s family!


Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed mine in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.