When Church is a Family

 

“I believe that one major reason that the church of Jesus Christ in the United States is very close to being in sheer chaos today is because so many people think themselves as individuals rather than as part of the body of Christ.  Christianity is not ‘every man for himself;’  it’s every man together for Christ.”  Wayne Mack 

  Today we’re beginning a new sermon series that will take us through the end of September: One Another – Doing Church Life Together. Personally, I’m very excited about this series. One of the distinctives of the early church that’s God’s plan for us even today is strong relationships. Please pray that this will not be a “sermon series” or just “a bunch of good talks.” God wants us to apply His truth. It’s why we’ve nearly begged you to either be part of a group or even lead one to work through this series at a deeper level. We’re even providing all of the discussion questions for you.
  This dovetails with one of my great burdens for our church and one of my continual prayers. Consistently, I pray that the Lord will give us three things at Grace: 1) A passionate love for Jesus Christ. 2) A passionate love for each other. 3) A passionate love for our community.
  The majority of American Christians have a “consumer” understanding of the church, not a biblical one. They attend church to find what’s in it for them. It’s something to attend for an hour a week to “shop” spiritually. They don’t have deep relationships, nor is there deep commitment. Such thinking is foreign to what Scripture teaches about church relationships.
  Of all the metaphors used to describe the local church, one that stands out above the rest is family. In fact, it’s so much of the essence of the church that it can’t even properly be called a metaphor. Metaphors describe what the church is like or similar to—light, flock, field, building—but family is not metaphorical; it’s a literal description of the phenomena we know as church. That’s because the church is not like family; it is family.
  God is literally our Father, Jesus is literally our elder brother, and we are literally brothers and sisters in Christ. Family is the primary way the early church identified themselves. This is seen by the fact that the word disciple, so prevalent in the early part of the New Testament, disappears after the book of Acts. It’s replaced by the terms brother and sister for the rest of the Bible. Family dominates the self-understanding of the early church. When the apostolic writers wanted to address an entire congregation, they frequently called them “brothers and sisters.” The people in the seats around us are, in fact, our family.
  Acknowledging our spiritual sibling relationships isn’t an intellectual exercise; it’s a profound truth that should stir deep emotions and overflow in tangible ways. Because they are family, we learn their names (3 John 15) and find out their interests. We display “family affection” (Romans 12:10). There are no cliques, favoritism or partiality (James 2:1-9). In innumerable ways, we seek to say: you are my brothers and sisters, and I love you.
  Throughout the New Testament, God commands us to have mutual care in the local church. The epistles, in particular, tell us what it means to be brothers and sisters and teach us “how one ought to behave in the household of God” (1 Timothy 3:15). With their various “one another” commands, these New Testament letters remind us that life in God’s family will reorient our allegiance—not only on Sunday but every hour of every day.
  Consumers attend church looking for what they will receive. Those with a biblical understanding of the church look for what they can give to it of time, money, and themselves. The church is not a man-made society that we can participate in—or opt out of—according to our level of comfort. The PTA, the HOA, or the library book club don’t obligate us to personal sacrifice when things get tough. Family does. And because God’s people are our family, we will hold our own preferences and priorities loosely. We set aside our social status, age group, ethnicity, and politics for the family. We open our hearts and doors. We pull up another chair at mealtime and add another name to our prayer list. We will give them our groceries,  furniture, and smiles. We will share their grief and trials and disappointments. We will continually look for ways to show love. 
  As a result, we will expect to have less money and less free time than we would have on our own. We will expect to have added sorrow. We will also expect to have great joy. 
  One of my favorite stories is told by a Vacation Bible School teacher with a second-grade class. A new student came into her class one day, a little boy, but he had a physical challenge; he only had one arm. The teacher wished she’d had a chance to coach the kids about accepting this boy and not treating him any differently. But the children did great. At first, they  stared a little bit. The teacher just didn’t want anyone to embarrass him in any way. Yet at the end of the class, she forgot herself, and said, “Kids, let’s close the class today by doing that little exercise: ‘This is the church, this is the steeple, open the doors and see all the people.”  Then she looked down and noticed the child missing an arm, and she realized she’d done to him what she hoped none of the kids would do. And right then one of the girls in the class reached out her right hand and put it in the boy’s left hand and she said, “Come on, Davy, let’s build a church together.” 
  That’s what a biblical church does. It builds the church together. It understands spiritual family. It brings people together who apart from God’s grace would never come together. It unites us around Jesus’ cross and submits to the Spirit to build a family a lost world can’t comprehend. And it’s all for His glory! It’s what the New Testament is teaching us as it continually shares passage after passage of the “one anothers.” 

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

The Cost of Virtual Church

“We desperately need the church for love, for maturity and preparedness, for spiritual care. It is arrogant, rebellious, self-reliant, God-indicting pride to conclude that the church is an optional extra to the Christian life. We need everything God designs for us. Everything. To reject what God designs for His glory and our good is spiritual suicide. To reject the church is to take your own spiritual life.”   Thabiti Anyabwile

 

Okay, I’ll be honest. I hesitated to use that quote by Thabiti about church attendance because it’s so pointed. I used it because I know that it’s true. It is very rare to meet a thriving Christian who is casual about corporate worship. Lone Ranger or Lone Rangerette Christianity is an Americanism. Read the New Testament for yourself, particularly the epistles and you just won’t find individualistic Christianity there. One of the most common metaphors for the local church is a “body.” A body has unity. In a body every part is essential and they don’t go off on their own. There is no substitute for one’s physical presence when it comes to worship.
  To be sure there are times that someone can’t attend either because of illness or job requirements. Let’s be honest. That’s not why most individuals miss. Somehow we find a way to participate in other events that require our presence. For most of us, it’s just a matter of priorities.
  Recently, Dane Ortlund tweeted: “Staying home to ‘watch church’ is like staying home from a friend’s wedding to watch the ceremony virtually. And keeping your wedding gift with you. Your presence and solidarity and love and hugs and eye contact and singing are needed. It’s not just about passively receiving something. It’s about being part of the embodied part of the celebration. The whole event is diminished by your absence.”
  Recently, I did something with my index finger. It was very sore and I just kept bumping it. The pain was excruciating. It sent a message to my brain that I needed to do something. The message went to my brain because my finger is connected to my body.
  And that’s true spiritually. When we are not connected to the body of believers, we can have spiritual soreness and sinful infection but never know it. Isolation is deadly to spiritual growth and health. Isolated Christians become their own measure of what’s right and correct. They’re not challenged because they're isolated. Look at the 12 disciples. Jesus brought together a mixed bag of followers that made each of them uncomfortable so they would grow and show His power which brought unity. Add to that, it’s very hard to be an encouragement and blessing to your brothers and sisters virtually.
  We’ve all heard about how the pandemic has hurt church attendance. It’s true, but it’s becoming a bit tiresome. We continually hear the hackneyed explanation that “the church is the people, not a building.” But if those people never gather together, is it a church? Can there be a church of one” Or is an individual family a church? Nope!
  Wonderfully, we are seeing an incipient movement push back against the “you-don’t-have-to-attend-church-to-be-obedient-to-God” crowd. There are early signs, particularly among the isolated digital generation, that a number of folks were awakened in the pandemic to the importance of in-person community, particularly in churches.  
  Church consultant Thom Rainer suggests some wonderful analogies to help us understand the vital importance of the local church metaphorically. Here are five of his favorites:
  The family meal versus the individual takeout dinner. For years, families spent time around the table. They would converse with each other instead of getting a takeout meal and looking at their smartphone. It was a time when family members connected and got to know each other. It was an in-person event that took place several times a week. The disconnected family member is like the disconnected church member who no longer attends in-person worship services and small groups.
  A bonfire versus an electric heater. I love a bonfire on the beach. I enjoy more than the warmth on a cool night; I enjoy others in person. The setting provides those times when we can share stories, laugh, and get to know one another. The electric heater provides warmth, but it does not provide a connection. It is like the digital church: functional but not personal.
  The live concert versus streaming music. I remember the first time I heard “Red Rubber Ball” by The Cyrkle in a concert. I was hooked on that 60s one-hit wonder because I not only enjoyed the catchy tune, I shared the delight with others who were attending. We can listen to Christian music and hymns via digital means, but it’s nothing like singing together in person in church in a spirit of true worship.
  Sailing together versus watching a travel show. For one of our wedding anniversaries, I leased a small sailboat with a captain for a half-day. Being with my wife for those few hours and seeing the pure joy she experienced was incomparable to watching a television show about sailing. Worshiping together is the sailboat. Watching a digitally streaming worship service is the television travel show.
  Live theater versus Netflix. I have been to a few Broadway shows and a few other live shows. While I appreciate the convenience of watching a chosen movie on Netflix, it is nothing like feeling and seeing the emotions of those watching a play in the room with me. Church is akin to live theater. You connect with those who are physically present. You not only hear a sermon and sing worship music, but you worship together with others. 
  So please, for your own spiritual health and growth, for us to more effectively accomplish our mission of reaching our community and world with the gospel – the good news that this hopeless world needs – please make corporate worship and small group communities a priority. It’s God’s plan because it’s only together that we can make a difference in this world and in eternity that we can never even hope to do alone!

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

The Answer is Water Buffalo

“Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world. For, indeed, that’s all who ever have.”  Margaret Mead

It premiered on September 10, 1984. Ray and Carol Ziebell’s daughter, Beth Feest, was a contestant on the show in 2018. Jeopardy! has been ranked as one of the greatest TV game shows of all time.

Last Sunday, November 8^th, Alex Trebek, longtime host of Jeopardy! from 1984 until 2020, passed away at age 80 after a long bout with pancreatic cancer. In his autobiography, The Answer Is…Reflections on My Life, Trebek was once asked his favorite animal. His answer: the water buffalo. It seemed like an odd choice. So why? To which Trebek replied that they work together to care for each other, the young and the old. When attacked, the healthy animals circle the vulnerable, heads out, and defend them against attacks. Their head/neck/horns are almost impervious to attack and are known to throw a lion ten feet in the air.

That’s what we’re supposed to do! The local church – pastors, parents, old and young – we join with the Holy Spirit in the circle of protection of our vulnerable whether they’re the young or spiritually young. Maybe our new favorite animal in the church should be the water buffalo.

The Bible warns us that we’re under attack. A lone antelope may end up on some predator’s menu. Spiritually, we’re to have each other’s back. Like a herd of water buffalo, we must pull together to protect each other. What are some enemies we need to protect each other from?

Discouragement. God commanded us to encourage each other. He knows how much we need it. We live in a broken world where nearly everything channels us toward discouragement. Sin steals joy, bodies break down, plans falter, dreams die, resolve weakens and our perspective dims. We’re promised suffering (1 Peter 4:12), persecution (John 15:20), and trials of various kinds (James 1:2-3). Encouraging each other reminds us that we’re loved, important, and not forgotten. As biblical encouragement is shared it will lift someone’s heart toward the Lord. It points a brother or sister to God’s promises, reassuring them that all they face is under His control. Who can you encourage this week?

Temptation. Historian Shelby Foote tells of a soldier who was wounded at the battle of Shiloh during the Civil War and was ordered to go to the rear. The fighting was fierce. Within minutes he returned to his commanding officer. “Captain, give me a gun!” he shouted. “This fight ain't got any rear!” Our battle against temptation is ceaseless. When we love our brothers and sisters, we often know where they’re most vulnerable. Who can you help protect from temptation this week?

Reputation. “Loose lips sink ships.” The phrase originated during World War II. Gossip is the RPG that blasts holes in the fabric of the church. It harms at least three people: the one speaking, the one hearing, and the one who is being gossiped about. To protect our brothers and sisters we must redirect the gossip back to the person being talked about. When we have an issue with someone, we must go and talk to them. If damage has been done to the person’s character, the gossiper should go to the victim in humility and ask their forgiveness. They should also go in humility to others that they’ve gossiped to. It reinforces the need to reject the sin of gossip. Who do you need to help protect from gossip?

Anxiety. George Muller said, “The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith, and the beginning of true faith is the end of anxiety.” Anxiety causes us to doubt that our Heavenly Father cares for us and that He’s in complete control. He loves us and is sovereignly working out His will for us. God designed His church for community. Yet, we can’t help each other beat back anxiety unless we interact with each other. It’s tempting during difficult times like this Pandemic to withdraw into our own little worlds or become family-focused, forgetting that as believers our family is much larger. Our local church, our brothers and sisters in Christ are our forever family. Who can you reassure to help them have victory over anxiety?

Anger. Chances are, almost everyone was angry at least once this past week. It may have been a minor frustration with another driver or being irritated with your kids for not putting away their toys. It could have been a situation at work. Some husbands and wives live with daily anger and hurt feelings. Some parents and their children are in a constant battle of outbursts of anger and abusive words. If you’re thinking, “Who, me, angry? I’m a Christian. I don’t get angry,” you probably have a more serious anger problem than those who admit, “Yes, I struggle with anger.” Jay Adams wrote, “Anger is a problem for every Christian; sinful anger is probably involved in 90% of all counseling problems.”

How can we help a brother or sister have victory over an angry spirit? Like the Lord Jesus dealt with the angry mob, stay in Spirit-controlled calm and peace. Proverbs 15:1 says, “A soft answer turns away wrath…” Then, pray for them. Many have an anger issue but because a lost world accepts it as “normal,” we either are unaware of it or rationalize it. Live out your own life as Christ’s Ambassador (2 Cor. 5:20). Represent the values, attitude, and power of His higher call. Extend kindness, grace, compassion, and healing everywhere you go. Be an agent of grace in a cruel, unforgiving world. Who can you help have victory over anger this week?

The local church is called to do many things, but if we fail to take care of its own, we’re not living out our purpose. The church is the body of Christ. Members of His body must love and care for each other. When we fail to take care of our own, we’ve ceased to function as His church. The answer is water buffalo.

 

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Fully Committed

“There’s a difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstances permit. When you’re committed to something,

you accept no excuses, only results.” Art Turock

When Texas pastor, Jim Denison, was in college, he served as a summer missionary in East Malaysia. While there he attended a small church. One day during a service, Denison happened to notice some worn-out luggage leaning against the wall in a corner of the church. When the pastor finished his sermon, he extended an invitation for people to receive Christ.

  A teenage Malaysian girl made her way down the aisle to announce her decision to follow Christ and be baptized. As was their tradition, they baptized the girl and a few others who had decided to trust Christ at the end of the service. But Jim remembered the luggage he’d seen earlier and asked the pastor about it as he was leaving the baptistry. The pastor pointed to the teenage girl who’d just been baptized and told Denison, “Her father said that if she was baptized as a Christian, she could never go home again. So she brought her luggage.”

  That’s a very common occurrence, particularly in cultures or in families antagonistic to Christianity. The price to follow Jesus is very high. The commitment to Jesus by believers who pay the ultimate price for following Christ puts me to shame. When we get Home, I believe that they’ll be some that are closest to the Throne! I can’t wait to meet them!

  American culture is anti-commitment, particularly when it comes to our walk with the Lord. Committing to a local church has become unusual. Some believers will attend, often for years, and never make a commitment of membership. It’s a bit like someone who lives together for years, yet never takes that step of an official marriage.

  While it’s true the Bible never uses the term “church membership,” a study of Scripture clearly shows that membership was the norm for those early believers. Each local church knew who was committed to their fellowship and who wasn’t. Nearly every letter written in the New Testament was written either to a church or to the pastor of a church.

  During this Pandemic I’ve continually repeated, #ThisOURtime. In one of the most difficult periods in recent history, our God sold both of our properties that we needed to sell, though they’d previously been on the market for several years. During this Pandemic because of your generosity, we’re able to pave our parking lot. During this Pandemic, we’re able to hire a new part-time assistant pastor, James Hauser. During this Pandemic because of the Spirit working in lives, we’re adding seven believers to our church membership. It brings tears to my eyes as I contemplate our Heavenly Father’s hand of blessing on our church!

  The local church is God’s plan. Study the New Testament and you’ll quickly discover that it’s God’s plan for this post-resurrection age. Several New Testament metaphors for the church delineate official membership.

  The local church is a family. This is my favorite picture of the church (Gal. 6:10; Eph. 2:19). Paul and Peter both call the church God’s “household” (1 Tim. 3:15; 1 Pet. 4:17)—another word for “family.”

  What’s your family made of? Members, of course. Family members aren’t names on a paper or a file folder of marriage and birth certificates. A family is a network of relationships and obligations. Family members are bound to one another. They share meals, celebrate together, mourn together, rejoice together, make decisions together, and when they’re apart, they long to reunite. Family is a place where we share our intimate secrets and struggles, yet are still loved and accepted.

  Are you like me? I have lifelong friends in this church who are brothers and sisters in Christ. Yet, it’s not just our church. I have brothers and sisters who I’ve loved for more than forty years that I connected with at one of the first churches that I served in LaCrosse, Wisconsin.

  If you have a painful biological family history, in the church we have a new family. It’s not anywhere near perfect, yet unlike our natural families our spiritual one is functional not dysfunctional, in that we’re committed to Jesus, committed to loving each other, committed to unity in the midst of diversity and committed to biblical problem solving.

  The local church is a body. In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul refers to the church as the “body of Christ” and to Christians as “members” of that body—an image he likely adopted from Jesus Himself (Acts 9:4). The Bible knows nothing of an individual, isolated or independent Christian. A Christian is like a hand, a foot, a toe, an artery, a kidney, or any other body part—we’re only healthy and useful if we’re in the body. This metaphor is fertile for application. It dignifies every church member because every body part is necessary. It also suggests the danger of not being in the body. How healthy is a detached limb or a discarded organ? The metaphor ties our spiritual health to each other. As we know from our own bodies, when one member suffers, the whole body suffers.

  The Apostle Paul refers to the believers at Corinth as “members” of the body of Christ five times just in 1 Corinthians. A member of the body of Christ as being vitally connected to the life of the body—so much so that the joys and suffering of other members become your own (1 Cor. 12:26). The shared life between the members assumes that they’re rubbing shoulders with one another, bearing one another’s griefs, and sharing in each other’s joys and burdens.

  The local church is a temple. Paul calls the church the “temple of God” (1 Cor. 3:16–17). Peter calls Christians “living stones” that build up a “spiritual house (1 Pet. 2:4–5). As we await the return of Christ, the church is now the dwelling place of God. Like bricks mortared together, a church is composed of individuals built into a single temple. As we work for the “common good” of the congregation, we manifest His Spirit that resides in us (1 Cor. 12:7). We’re held together in Jesus, Who is the cornerstone of our foundation as a structure built by God through His Spirit.

  As we’re joined together by Jesus, He’s the source of our unity. Our foundation is God’s Word, so we must study it, teach and preach it, and frame our lives by it. It’s our blueprint. But the building is incomplete. We’re continually under construction, so we must not get used to the décor or become satisfied that enough rooms have been added.

  Scripture is clear. The Christian life is a call to total commitment. Jesus challenges us to “take up our cross and follow Him.” He loves the church so much that He died for it (Eph. 5:25). He’s called us to love His church too and live for it. It’s a call to commitment. Do you need to sign up?

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Reopening is Right, Not About Our Rights

“The constitutional freedom of religion is the most inalienable

and sacred of all human rights.” Thomas Jefferson

“The Father of all vacations.” Now that our three children are all adults, one of the parts that I most miss from their younger years was going on vacation together as a family. Those were some of our most memorable and bonding times as a family. It wasn’t the expense or extravagance, it was being together as a family. Ask them about “a good walk,” and you may see some eye-rolling, hopefully, followed by a grin.

  In the summer of 2002, our family went to Washington, D.C., then to Philadelphia to see the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall and finally to New York City and the Statue of Liberty. I love America! I love our heritage! And I’m so thankful that those who came before us willingly shed their blood so that we have the rights that we have, rights like the freedom of religion that so many of our ancestors in Christian history and brothers and sisters around the world do not share. We are truly blessed!

  Across the country one continued protest from many churchgoers during this Pandemic has been, “We must meet! It’s our right!” While I am so thankful that we do have that right as Americans, that’s not why we’re meeting again as a church. It’s not about our “rights.” To me to meet because it’s “our right” is insensitive to the many other Christians around the world who do not have that blessing that we have in this culture and that someday we too may not have.

  We’re gathering together as a local church family because the Bible commands us to and teaches that it’s the right thing to do. Scripture is clear to be lackadaisical about consistently meeting as so many American Christians were prior to this crisis is biblically wrong.

  Please understand (and I can’t say this strongly enough). If with the coronavirus if you’re not comfortable meeting yet or have health concerns that make you hesitant to meet, you should not physically worship with us. Your health and safety is a greater priority. I’m so thankful that we live in a day where we can include those who are in that situation with technology.  

  Yet, much of the anger about not being able to physically meet seemed to be selfishly driven rather than what truly honors our Lord. It was seemingly about, “They closed my religious clubhouse…and I’m mad!”

  A vital part of our DNA at Grace Church is the humble confession that this is not OUR church. It’s the Lord Jesus’ church. We are what the New Testament calls “the Bride of Christ” (Eph. 5:22-33). He bought us and willingly died for us. We belong to King Jesus so it must be all about Him!

  To be candid, it’d be easier to not meet. If it’s about convenience, we could sip coffee and eat Kringle (this is Wisconsin) in our pjs in our family rooms. It can’t be that the worship team, preaching or even the building is so special. There are much better worship “productions” at the click of a keyboard or with the turn of a channel. Why is gathering physically together important? (FYI: These are not in any particular order).

  God wants us to worship Him! That should amaze us! Remember that our awesome God is surrounded by all of the angelic host of heaven. It would be perfect worship. All nature worships God. If we human beings won’t, Jesus said that even the rocks will cry out in praise (Luke 19:4).

  Of all of His creation, it’s staggering that our Heavenly Father longs for us, His Imago Dei, with all of our imperfections, to worship Him. Nothing replaces the beauty of coming together to worship Him with others who also have His Spirit within them through the redeeming work of salvation.

  Worshiping is a response of humble gratitude for His love. Knowing God as He’s revealed to us in Scripture stirs in us a heart of thankfulness expressed in worship that brings Him glory. The Spirit motivates us to long to come together with our brothers and sisters to honor the Savior.

  Coming together is one of the best places to grow spiritually. The focal point of local church ministry is to clearly teach God’s Word. In what’s known as “the Pastoral Epistles” (1 and 2 Timothy & Titus) are overflowing with instruction for churches to make the Scriptures the priority in the church. The pulpit is not the place for political or psychological talks. Pastors are commanded to “preach the Word” (2 Tim. 4:2). While Christ-followers must study the Word on their own, learning under the sound teaching of church leaders is imperative for one’s spiritual growth (1 Pet. 2:2). There’s something about in-person focused attention surrounded by likeminded believers that makes it more effective.

  It’s the place where we are to use our spiritual gifts. The weekly gathering is God’s avenue for believers to utilize their spiritual gifts. At salvation, God gifts every believer. The local church is the place where believers can and should practice those gifts. The Bible knows nothing of church sitters or spectators who show up for a weekly show. Jesus designed His church to be a place for us to participate together by utilizing our spiritual gifts either in a public setting or privately with other believers. 

  It’s the place where we connect in Christ’s love. The phrase “one another” occurs 100 times in the New Testament. Some 59 of those are specific commands teaching us how to relate to each another. We’re to love, encourage, comfort, pray, forgive each other to name just a few. In our time together the Lord teaches us to love those that in our sinfulness, we’d never like. It’s an ongoing work of His grace. Apart from in-person gatherings, it’s easy to succumb to the Americanization of privatizing our faith or keep it segregated to a small portion of our life.

  God uses our gathering together to reach our world. Jesus said our world will know we’re His disciples by our love for each other. As we love each other, His light shines from our Christ-honoring love. Because it’s so unusual, it draws others to Christ. Everyone is looking for a place to belong. Whether people admit it, they long to be loved. When we commit to fiercely love each other by covering even sins with love and readily forgiving each other, God’s love shines brightly through us. Yes, love can be demonstrated via technology, but it’s not the same. How healthy would a couple’s marriage be if it were only a “technology relationship?”

  God is in control of this Pandemic! It often takes a shaking up of our world to force us to evaluate what’s essential and what’s merely traditional. Technology is here to stay and a tool we should use wisely. In the coming days there will be needed evaluations and with it changes on how churches minister. As the Bible clearly reveals, in-person gatherings at some level are essential. Please pray that we are wise as a church family as we seek to move forward for His glory because this truly is His church!

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Who's coming to your funeral?

“I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.”

Helen Keller

  Who’s coming to your funeral? Maybe you’re thinking, “That’s a morbid thought…” Yet, it’s a real one. As relatives are planning out a funeral, one of the big questions is: How many do we expect to attend?

  The answer – probably not as many as you’d think. It depends a lot on the age and circumstances of the loved one’s death. A young or tragic death will have a much larger funeral. An older, “normal” death usually means a smaller one. Add long age to that and the number drops more.

  Why? Because as we age, our circle of friends shrinks, but it doesn’t have to. Friendships, like a beautiful garden, demand constant cultivation.

  In our young adult years, friendships are relatively easy. We have many commonalities which open up doors for friendships: marriage, babies, children. We continually interact with the same people at school and sporting events. Often our children are in the same school or swim class. During those times of sitting on the sidelines for a game, we talk and make friends. At work, there are individuals that we have a closer affinity to.

  As we become empty nesters, those common events dwindle and friendships often wane. The same is true with work or neighborhood friendships. Switch jobs, retire, move – and those friendships begin to grow cold. Some try to compensate by joining a group of other empty nesters that have a common link; music, a sport or some other mutual interest. Yet, because there are less commonalities, the friendships are usually weaker.

  Most find that those with the same status: age, marital situation, economic level, geographical location, political values, religious affiliation, sports team, etc., are easiest to befriend. When one or more of those things change – for example, a divorce, loss of a spouse or the loss of a job – the friendship changes or even dies.

  A local church is to be unique when it comes to relationships. Our common bond is Christ and He never changes (Hebrews 13:8). Church friendships should be the opposite of our other friendships, in that they’re built on diversity, not sameness. And relationships are stronger in diversity.

  While we’re attracted to those like us, those relationships frequently result in spiritual atrophy. For most, the only ones in our social circle different from us are relatives. Family relationships are a place to learn overlook annoyances that come with those differences. Yet, often a conversation ensues when “they” are absent about, “Why are they so different?” 

  Mark it down! You limit your spiritual growth and moving forward in your sanctification as God desires for you, if you primarily surround yourself with those “just” like you. Spiritual growth comes through friction.

  Do you want to grow healthy friendships? Please look for those who are different from you in age, values, history or economic situation, spiritual walk. Look for what you can give, not what you can get; what you can learn, not what you can teach. Jim Rohn wisely observes that, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” If you primarily spend time with those like you, then you only become more like you. But that’s not God’s plan. He wants us to become more like Jesus Christ. 

  Foundational to Christian friendship is the fact that “only Jesus can bring satisfaction to your soul.” A friend can help carry your burdens or share your joy. They can never meet our need for soul satisfaction.

  Here are some friends that I believe that every Christian needs.

  You need a friend who is more spiritually mature than you. We all lack godliness and need growth in certain aspects of our lives. We have spiritual weaknesses or sins that easily throw us. Thus, we need to develop friendships with those who have a deeper walk with the Lord, who have strengths where we have weaknesses. As we surround ourselves with spiritually-minded friends, it encourages us to be more spiritually minded.

  You need a friend who is less spiritually mature than you. That’s what Jesus did. The disciples were a work in progress. The Apostles learned from Jesus and did the same. Peter poured his life into John Mark. Barnabus poured his life into Paul. Paul poured his life into Timothy and Titus. It’s unbiblical and selfish to only look for friends that we can “get” something from. No matter where you are spiritually, there is someone that you can help grow in their spiritual walk. 

  You need a friend who doesn’t know Jesus. Jesus was “the friend of sinners” (Matthew 11:19). Most Christians are hardly acquaintances with those outside the Church and who don’t know the Lord. There’s a fear of being overly influenced. While we need to be wise and cautious. Too often we forget the power of the Spirit and that “truth does not fear scrutiny.”

  We need those who challenge our beliefs and values. If what we believe is true, it will hold up like a rock. If it crumbles, it wasn’t true. As our world becomes more secular, the number of those who share our convictions, or are even open to listening and having a dialogue will continue to dwindle.

  While we do not need social acceptance, how can we win a lost world if we are not first their friends? God loves the world and we’re to love them, too. One qualification for a spiritual leader is that you “must be well thought of by outsiders” (1 Timothy 3:7). Our mission is that we want to be part of seeing outsiders becoming insiders. We represent Jesus to a lost world. We’re here to serve, not be pampered. To love, not be applauded.

  Jesus is our model of being a friend. He reached out to those that others ignored or even considered pariah. Though He was denied and forsaken by those closest to Him, He never wrote them off and ultimately restored them. He shows us that friendship first means being sacrificial. 

  Who’s coming to your funeral? How are your friendships? If you’re like most of us, your friendships and limited circles, are something you need to give attention to. Do you want friends? Be more and more like Jesus! 

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

God-Talk in God's Family

“Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee and just as hard to sleep after.”  Anne Morrow Lindbergh

  Does your family have a story? Nearly every family does. Our family loves to spend time together just talking. Sometimes it’s serious. Many times we’re giggling or laughing. Lots of times we reflect on funny stories from the past. There are stories and “key” words only we understand. For example, all five of us know what “pudding” means and it’s not a dessert.

  These family stories make us who we are and draw us closer to each other. Someday we’ll pass on many of these wonderful stories to our grandchildren. They’re the heartfelt conversations which make us unique and who we are. Your family probably has them too.

  God’s plan is for each local church to be a family. Sadly, we’ve veered from that, particularly in America. Often the local church is more like a business, a religious franchise. It’s not what God designed us for.

  Anyone studying the New Testament quickly realizes God planned for the local church to be a family. It’s one reason why we believe joining a local church is biblical. It’s very hard to be a “family” when you’re uncertain of who’s really in the family or who’s committed to it.

  It struck me recently we’re missing out on something when we’re together we can’t have out there – family conversations. Jesus designed us to be a Christian counterculture. Our conversations with each other when we gather to worship and fellowship should be different than nearly any other place. Have you ever noticed though, when we’re with our brothers and sisters in Christ, we talk about nearly everything else but family matters? Shouldn’t spiritual family conversations dominate our dialogue, rather than be the exception? Our times together are opportunities for us to fulfill those powerful “one another” commands in the New Testament?

  Some conversations shouldn’t take place though in a church family. They’re story and “one another” killers. Let me touch on a few.

  Whining/complaining. Whining kills communication and God hates whining. It cost the Children of Israel 40 years of wandering. Most churches have far too much of it. It’s usually over miniscule things: room temperature, music, seating, refreshments, minor annoyances, volume, etc.

  Sarcasm. Our culture is verbally cruel. Sometimes at church the pagan language of digs, put-downs or cuts is used. It’s wrong and it’s sin.

  Politics. When it comes to biblical values, there’s very little difference between the political parties. It’s primarily a philosophy of government. The only biblical form of government is a Theocracy, which was for Israel and won’t happen again until King Jesus returns. To cause Kingdom division over human government is a violation of Galatians 3:28.

  Business. Jesus cast the moneychangers out of the Temple. Yet, Americans are so “business” focused, it dominates our conversations, even in church. In a day of cell phones and e-mail, let’s work to keep the main thing the main thing – Jesus and His family.

  Just a side note here, as plans for our new facility continue to develop, it’s tempting to focus on style, costs, etc…and talk about it a lot. This new facility is not the church, WE are. It’s merely a tool to help us serve King Jesus. Most conversations about it should go something like this, “Isn’t it exciting what God is doing? How can we pray more wisely?”

  What are some family conversations we should be having lots of? There are many, let me just touch on a few. All of these find their heart with first loving each other, as Jesus commanded us to do, John 13:34-35.

  We must encourage each other. If you and I do not encourage one another, where else is encouragement going to take place? Each week many come in battered and bruised for a myriad of reasons. For some in our church family, this is their safe place. Look for ways to encourage others, particularly spiritually encouragement, 1 Thessalonians 5:11.

  We must pray for and with each other. Nothing so thrills my heart than to see folk gathered together praying for each other. Perhaps someone shared a special burden or need. Brothers and sisters stopped right there and prayed with them. Where else can we do that? If you do that at Walmart or the Packer’s game, people will think you’re a wacko.

  We must be kind to each other. Do you look for kind things to say to others? Do you ask how things are going so you can pray for them more intelligently? Do they know you care? Do you? Do you know what burdens or blessings they have? We’re to be kind to each other, Ephesians 4:32.

  We must admonish each other. Isn’t this odd? It’s not strange at church to ask someone how work is going or how their kids are doing, even if they’ve lost weight. Yet, somehow it’s weird to ask: What is God teaching you these days? What are you learning from His Word? We need to admonish each other, Colossians 3:16.

  We must forgive each other. You’re not a Christian unless you’ve been forgiven. Each of us has been forgiven horrible crimes against God. Yet, many of the “forgiven” carry smoldering cinders of bitterness, often for years, toward other believers. We must forgive each other, Ephesians 4:32.

  How can we grow in this area? How do we start making spiritual church family conversations “normal”? It’s simple – just start. Perhaps begin sharing one on one something the Lord is teaching you or something you need prayer for, or some special blessing the Lord has given you.

  This is new, so baby steps are best. Here are some questions to consider: What’s your most important spiritual goal right now? What’s something you believe from the Bible without any doubts? What book of the Bible has had a great influence on you? If God granted you any one request, what would it be? What would you most like people to remember you for after you die? What are the biggest questions you have about your relationship with God? What’s something you’re thankful for in your life right now?

  If there is one place for God-talk, it’s when you’re with God’s family!


Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed mine in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.