Recipe for Disaster???

“Satan gives Adam an apple, and takes away Paradise. 

Therefore in all temptations let us consider not what he offers, but what we shall lose.”  Richard Sibbes

Many of us enjoy making some special dish at Christmas. It’s the only time of year that I make it, but at Christmas I love to make Chex Mix. While you can buy Chex Mix, it’s just not the same. And it’s very simple to make, yet you must be very conscientious about not letting it stay in the oven too long or it will burn. Not paying attention is a recipe for disaster.

  Christmas can be a recipe for disaster, a moral one. Though the message underlying Christmas is the Savior’s birth, it’s too easily set aside. Christmas, rather than being spiritually driven becomes emotionally driven.

  Hallmark cashes in on emotionalism, raking in over half a billion from their Christmas movies. Some 100 million watch Hallmark during the holidays, making it the most-watched cable network among 25-to-54-year-old women. Christmas is the season of feelings.

  At this time of year many of us are emotionally moved by our favorite Christmas songs. I know that I am. Silent Night or I’ll Be Home For Christmas, and many others can cause my eyes to mist over.

  For a myriad of reasons the holidays result in us being more emotionally driven, rather than spiritually, volitionally or intellectually driven. Please understand, God designed us with feelings. Yet, when our emotions are in the driver’s seat, we’re on dangerous turf. Since the Garden, Satan has used our emotions against us, gaining entry into our lives. Scripture refers to this as the “lust of the flesh” (1 Jn 2:15). Jesus resisted this attack in Matthew 4 and we can too, but we must be biblically wise.  

  Many of us are vulnerable because the season is so emotionally charged. If we’re not spiritually prepared, holiday parties can be fraught with moral danger carrying lifetime wreckage. The statistics are tragic! In a survey conducted by Men’s Health magazine 44% of the males said they’d had an affair with a co-worker at a holiday office party at least once in their life. A survey conducted by Canon revealed that 1/3 of the workers either kissed a co-worker or ended-up going home with them after the company party. Nearly 25% of the female employees in one study said their boss made a pass at them during the Christmas party.

  But it’s not just workplace parties that can make us more susceptible to immorality. Family and neighborhood parties can be spiritually deadly, too.

  The Bible contains horrible accounts of familial sexual sin. Amnon raped his half-sister, Tamar (2 Sam. 13). Lot’s daughters conspired to get him drunk so they could sleep with him (Gen. 19). Noah was oblivious that he was publicly naked after becoming inebriated, losing his family’s respect (Gen. 9). It’s part of why God’s Word commands us: “You shall not covet your neighbor’s…wife, or his male servant, or his female servant.”

  God though doesn’t want a bunch of killjoys. His will for us isn’t some stained glass cave. For example, over 100 people are killed in car accidents each day. It doesn’t mean we should trade in our car for a horse and buggy.

  Celebration is a vital part of life. The people of God in the Old Testament celebrated with regular festivals. One of Jesus’ greatest stories (Luke 15:11-31) was of a huge celebration, when the prodigal son returned and his Dad said, “Let’s have a feast and celebrate.” Holiday parties are great Kingdom opportunities. Here are some suggestions to help you keep them Christ-honoring.

  If you’re married (and if possible), take your spouse. Marriage is God’s gift to us. It’s heartbreaking that so many have never seen a healthy marriage, much less a Christian one. We’re to be distinctly different in our marriage, not because we’re nice…but because we’re redeemed.

  It’s not a sin to drink. It’s a sin to be intoxicated. Jesus created wine at a wedding. It wasn’t the cheap stuff. Good food and wine are God-given pleasures, as is intimacy in marriage. Yet, Scripture prohibits drunkenness.

  Be a good leaver. At the first company Christmas party that I intended, the foreman became a drunken fool. It grew worse as the night went on. I’ve found that if I leave early, I rarely see that. Then, my friends are not embarrassed the next day at things they said or did in front of me.

  Remember WHO you represent. We’re ambassadors for Christ (2 Cor. 5:20). It’s not a Sunday gig. We’re 24-7, round the clock representatives of our Savior, whatever the occasion and whoever we’re with. Our words and actions reflect on King Jesus. Have a great time, yet never at His expense.

  Commit the event to the Lord beforehand. Before we go, we can do spiritual groundwork. You can pray for God’s blessing over the festivities, the safety of those who take part and for grace as you seek to be salt and light. Ask Him to help you be a channel of His love and a fountain of encouragement and blessing to all who will attend, even the wait staff. 

  Speak up yet speak wisely. These events can be times for loose lips and dumb deeds. Often all it takes is redirecting a gossipy or cruel conversation about someone absent. A voice of caution might keep someone from doing something they’ll regret later and possibly keep someone from getting hurt or someone’s property being seriously damaged.

  Graciously share Who’s birthday is being celebrated. It’s not the time to climb on a table and preach. Yet, I’ve found that talking about the Savior is more of a natural talking point at Christmas. These parties are when you may find yourself talking to someone you don’t normally interact with and about more meaningful things than the weather. For me, it can be something simple like discovering the holidays are difficult for them or they’re carrying a burden, and assuring them I’ll be praying for them. Social events have often been the start of a lifelong friendship for me.

  Have fun! “A merry heart does good like medicine” (Prov. 17:22). I have to think that Jesus was pleasant to be around. Why else was He invited to so many parties? God doesn’t want us to be sour grapes, but people of His grace. Being Christlike means being incarnational like Jesus. Our Lord came into this world as one of us and wants us to be part of ours, making a difference. Even Christmas parties are an opportunity to serve Him!

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

When a spiritual leader falls...

“The subtlety of sin is that it doesn’t feel like sin when we’re doing it; it feels godlike, it feels religious, it feels fulfilling and satisfying.”  Eugene Peterson

  One of the most frightening statements a Christian ever makes is: “I’d never do that.” It’s foolish and violates 1 Corinthians 10:12, “Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall.”

  The world changed. A generation that grew up with TVs’ #1 Dad, Dr. Huxtable was horrified to learn that Bill Cosby was a moral monster. Yet, it’s not just them, it’s us, too. It’s gotten where I don’t want to read the religious news or receive an update on a colleague in ministry. Too often they’re horrifying, embarrassing and nauseating.

  A few months ago news broke that a mega-church pastor that I’d long admired had been living a double-life. As the charges trickled out, at first I was skeptical. Unlike the court of public opinion often fueled by a media salivating over a whiff of scandal, Scripture teaches us that someone is “innocent until proven guilty.” We’d do well to heed that. Someday the accused might be us or someone we dearly love.

  Yet, when the evidence became insurmountable because of the credibility of those bringing the charges, it was apparent it was all true. Sadly, that pastor never has come completely clean. But what’s motivated me to write this is that another scandal closer to home has taken place. A pastor of a mega-church has committed adultery, resigning in shame. This time it was encouraging there was a confession and an admission of guilt on his part.  

  Too often we ask the wrong question: How could he/she do that? We ask that because we don’t believe sin is potent and deceptive. We’re naïve of the depths of depravity of the heart, particularly of our own heart.

  King David’s failure is a warning to us all. The Bible describes him as “a man after God’s own heart” (Acts 13:22). Yet, David, the one who demonstrated great faith and love for God, committed adultery, then covered it up by assassinating an innocent man, Uriah. You’ll find the sordid account in 2 Samuel 11-12. As King, David thought he’d gotten away with it. No one gets away with anything. A holy God knows and sees everything, “No creature is hidden from His sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account” (Heb. 4:13).

  Sometimes we foolishly rejoice when it’s another religious group that receives a public black eye. That’s a wrong, even vile, response. And we forget that unbelievers paint with a very broad brush. All that they know is that another “religious” leader was a hypocrite and morally failed. It’s a spiritual turn off and gives them fodder to justify rejecting the gospel.

  In the end none of us will be able to stand before God and rationalize away our own rejection or spiritual apathy because of someone else’s moral failure, even if it was a spiritual leader. So, in this day of too frequent moral catastrophes, what are some takeaways for us?

  God never sins and never fails. We must look beyond fallen humanity and the created order to our Creator. As Scripture tells us, God is unchanging. God said of Himself in Malachi 3:6, “For I the Lord do not change.” Even the best intentioned human being will fail and disappoint you. God never will. He never changes. You can trust and depend on Him.

  Every spiritual leader is just a redeemed sinner. There are no great Christians. There is only a great God. Every Bible teacher, every pastor is just another fallen, sinful human being who needs Christ’s sacrificial death, and is dealing with the same temptations that we all struggle with.

  Please understand, it’s not an excuse. A pastor is a spiritual leader with accountability before God (James 3:1). He’s to be held to a higher standard. Scripture outlines moral qualifications for pastoral leadership (1 Tim. 3). Yet, every minister is also sinner, in need of Christ’s work for their own forgiveness and sanctification. We need to let them direct our eyes to our wonderful God, not get in the way of seeing Him.

  No spiritual leader is irreplaceable or unaccountable. A few years ago a missionary friend rationalized and covered serious sin – he felt that he was irreplaceable. God doesn’t need any of us. One of my favorite verses for ministry is 2 Corinthians 4:7. The Apostle Paul writes, “We have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.” In other words, the tool is just a tool – God is the master craftsman. It’s His work and He must receive all of the glory.

  If you see a spiritual leader doing something that dishonors Jesus’ name, you have a responsibility to hold them accountable. There are no superstars in the Kingdom. We must also rejoice over and encourage the many who are faithful. For every one who falls, there are tens of thousands who remain faithful. While it appears like an epidemic when a few high profile religious leaders blow it, in reality, sexual misconduct among evangelical pastors is far lower than most other professions. It’s that we have higher expectations of pastors (which we should), so their moral failures are magnified. I have many friends in ministry who have been unquestionably faithful to their spouses, love God genuinely, and seek to honor Him in their private lives. Thousands of airliners take off and land safely every single day, yet what makes the news are the one or two annually that crash. 
  It’s a horrible thing every time a minister falls and should break our hearts. It needs to remind us to faithfully pray for those in spiritual leadership, and remind us too, that Jesus is the only one we can absolutely trust and must ultimately follow. Please don’t let a human leader cause you to stumble or become discouraged. When we do, Satan wins. By God’s grace, let’s commit anew to following Jesus no matter what! 

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Sweeping webs or killing spiders!

  Currently, Jane and I are vacationing at a cabin in Muddy Pond, Tennessee (and no, I’m not making that name up). It’s one of our favorite vacation spots and will be our 4^th time there. It’s nestled in the mountains and we even have our own lake. Our nearest neighbors are bullfrogs and perhaps an errant cow. It’s in the middle of a Mennonite Community, folk who have become friends and whose simpler lifestyle is a wonderful retreat to encourage deep soul rest. It’s a large, one room cabin with a bedroom, living room, kitchen and even a jacuzzi. The only separate room is the bathroom. Our view though of that “bathroom” totally changed after our last visit a couple of years ago. That bathroom is NOT a safe place. 

  We were about to go to bed. I believe I was reading, dozing between somewhat intelligent thought and la-la land, when Jane cried out for me with a very serious tone, “Scott, there’s an enormous spider in the shower!” Since Jane is known for her dread of spiders, I must confess that it wasn’t a “Husband of the Year” moment and I didn’t take it all that seriously. So, I ambled out of bed and peeked. It wasn’t “enormous.” Gargantuan would be a more accurate description! It was the Godzilla of spiders. No doubt it had illegally immigrated from some South American country or escaped from a local zoo. It was terrifying! My greatest fear was that I might miss when I sought to execute it. Then, neither of us would sleep all night for fear that we’d be dragged out of bed and have all of our internal organs sucked out and fed to its offspring.

  Fortunately, I was able to terminate it with one quick, hard shot from a broom. But every night this vacation, like someone who has watched Psycho one too many times, I’ll be peeking behind the shower curtain.

  Wouldn’t it be foolish to clean up spider webs and never kill the spider? Ours is a culture though that cleans up webs, even wrings its hands over them, yet fails to acknowledge even the existence of spiders.

  Nearly every day there is news of another sex crime. A teacher or minister molests a child. Someone is arrested for child pornography. Another victim in the #MeToo movement comes forward and names some person of power or fame as their abuser. Those are all spider webs.

  The Godzilla Spider no one seems to want to acknowledge that is behind the curtain is pornography. Imagine this scenario – America has a problem with obesity. As a result, there’s a needed emphasis on healthier food.

  Can you imagine though how much worse it would be if every time you turned on your computer, a dozen donuts popped out? Or, when you googled something on your smart phone, Skittles appeared? As you channel surf, Big Macs pour out of the remote? Obesity would become a gargantuan problem. Yet, that’s exactly what happens with porn. It’s ubiquitous. It used to only be found in the back of the magazine rack of sleazy stores. Or, it could be found in “Adults Only” stores where creepy men, shuffled in late at night. But that’s not the case today.   

  It was horrible when porn came in on our computers via the Internet, now it’s invaded our smart phones. A device invented for communication is the entry point of unlimited moral debauchery.   

  Here are some spider statistics you may be unaware of. Porn sites receive more regular traffic than Netflix, Amazon, & Twitter combined each month. Those who admit to having extramarital affairs were over 300% more likely to admit consuming porn than those who’ve never committed adultery. 30% of all data transferred across the internet is porn-related. The most common female role in porn is of women in their 20’s portraying a teen. Recorded child sexual exploitation (child porn) is one of the fastest-growing online businesses. Porn is a global, estimated $97 billion industry, with about $12 billion coming from the U.S. In 2016 alone, more than 4,599,000,000 hours of porn were consumed on the world’s largest porn site. 64% of young people, ages 13–24, actively seek out porn weekly. A study of 14 to 19-year-olds found that females who consumed pornographic videos were at a significantly greater likelihood of being victims of sexual harassment or sexual assault. A study of 18-year-old males found that frequent users of pornography were significantly more likely to have sold and bought sex than other boys of the same age. A 2015 meta-analysis of 22 studies from seven countries found that internationally the consumption of porn was associated with increases in verbal and physical aggression, among both males and females.

  What does all this mean? As long as porn is so pervasive, sex crimes will continue to escalate. Or, they will be decriminalized. As porn desensitizes, self-control becomes more difficult. Eroticism becomes an insatiable raging inferno. As culture becomes desensitized, perversion like child porn will be “normalized.” The Guardian recently featured an article with a disturbing claim that there’s “not even a full academic consensus on whether consensual pedophilic relations necessarily cause harm.”

  Personally, I think the #Metoo movement has a short shelf life. Illicit sex is a cash cow. The lust for money will ultimately muzzle the movement.

  What should a Christian do? By God’s grace, live out biblical purity. If you have a problem with porn, confess it as sin and repent. Often, it helps to have an accountability partner. Then, if you wouldn’t hand the keys to the car to a child, why hand a smart phone to a teen? Limit their screen time. Know what they’re watching.

  Be careful what you rationalize as “entertainment.” Soft porn slipped into popular shows erodes our souls. We begin to see image-bearers of God as commodities and less than human.  

  May Christians join with a teenage Joseph, “How then can I do this great wickedness and sin against God?”? (Genesis 39:10). We must honor and celebrate marriage and biblically healthy sexuality (Proverbs 5:15-19). It’s time to stop sweeping webs and start killing spiders.

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Guardrails keep a marriage safe!

“Discernment is not a matter of simply telling the difference between right and wrong; rather it is telling the difference between right and almost right.”   Charles Spurgeon

  When I’m driving on a trip, I typically look for the shortest route. Sometimes though the shortest route isn’t the best one, at least as far as the condition of the roads are concerned. For example, when I’m headed to the Chicago suburbs, rather than taking I-94, I’ll snake down Wilmot Road to pick up Highway 12. But there’s a curve on that road that if you’re not paying attention or going too fast, you can be in real trouble. Fortunately, there’s a guardrail. I’d imagine that it was installed after a few mishaps. Someone finally realized that putting in a guardrail might save lives.

  That’s the purpose of a guardrail. They’re designed to keep us from straying into dangerous territory. Thousands of miles of guardrails line our roads and interstates. They have a very simple purpose – to keep a small accident from becoming a larger one. We don’t pay attention to guardrails until we need them, but when you need them, they can save your life.

  Applied to our lives, our spirituality and relationships, guardrails protect us. Often our biggest mistakes can be avoided if we have guardrails steering us in the right direction. The goal is never to see “how close I can get to a guardrail without crashing.” That’s dumb. Ideally, we never get near the guardrail. Yet, we need guardrails to keep us from going “too far” or from moving in a dangerous direction that could end up in tragedy.

  All of us need guardrails in our lives. That struck me when I read recently about Supermodel, Chrissy Teigen, taking lots of heat in the court of public opinion for an offhanded remark she made. Chrissy is married to musician, John Legend. In a recent interview during New York Fashion Week, she said, “I do want to have kids one day, so it's something that I have to think about. But the rule is no hot nannies. I trust John, but you never know with these men.” Her remark made her a cultural leper. She was treated as if she was Amish, totally out of touch with modern times…even (gasp) sexist. Personally, I think she has a lot of wisdom and discernment.

  Yet, it’s not just men, it’s all of us. God created us as sexual beings. Part of the Creative Mandate, Pre-Fall was to “be fruitful and multiply” within the fulfilling boundaries of marriage. Yet, too many of us underestimate our ability to resist sexual temptation. Over the years many individuals that I’ve counseled who sinned sexually weren’t hunting for an opportunity to commit adultery, yet, they unwisely put themselves in a place that essentially made them a sitting duck.

  There are constant reports of some famous person committing adultery, often with the individual hired to care for their children. The individual doesn’t have to be attractive, they just have to be available. We erroneously reason that just because someone isn’t a “10” according to this world’s standards, there’s little danger. Often adultery is committed with someone who’s far less attractive than a spouse, yet other needs for intimacy were being met that are not sexual in nature.

  It’s a myth that only those who are living in an unhappy marriage commit adultery. Often, even someone in a very happy marriage finds themselves tempted to become involved with another person outside of the marriage. Age is also not a factor. We foolishly think that someday we’ll outgrow our sex drives. We won’t. A godly man that I dearly loved and admired, in his later years, made some serious sexual blunders. It’s far easier to prevent an accident than to clean up all of the wreckage afterwards. So let me suggest some wise guardrails to install in your life.

  Never be alone with someone of the opposite sex, other than your spouse. Don’t meet them for coffee or lunch. Don’t be in a car alone with them. If you hire a babysitter, let the parent of the same sex take them home. If you’re in a situation where it’s unavoidable to be with someone of the opposite sex (like work), make sure your spouse knows when, where and how long. That not only protects you from temptation, it helps protect your reputation. You don’t want to create a scenario where whispers of improper conduct could be entertained.

  If you’re single and dating, never be in a bedroom alone together. While your bedroom may be your little domain, particularly if you’re living with your parents, you’re putting yourself in a place of vulnerability and lowering walls of protection. Don’t stay out on a date into the wee hours of the morning. Fatigue lowers our resistance to sexual temptation.

  Be very wary of emotional intimacy. There are those of the opposite sex that we’re naturally attracted to. Oftentimes they have strengths our spouse lacks. For example, if your spouse is an extrovert, you may find yourself attracted to someone who’s more of an introvert. So if you find yourself sharing deep thoughts and feelings with a member of the opposite sex, warning lights should go off. Be very careful about discussing problems or inside information about your marriage with someone of the opposite sex. A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself, “Would I want my spouse to hear what I am saying about them or our marriage?”

  Online relationships can be disastrous for a marriage. Many marriages are damaged by emotional affairs via e-mail, Facebook, or other Web-based forums. A close friendship with a member of the opposite sex can result in emotional intimacy. Indications of an emotional affair include sharing intimate thoughts or personal information, talking in detail about your marriage in a negative way, and keeping the relationship secret from your spouse. An “emotional affair” can almost be as devastating to a marriage as a physical one.  

  Make time for doing fun things in the marriage. The “couple that plays together, stays together” is true. Having fun and laughing together helps keep your relationship strong. It’s easy to become bogged down with the business of life. Too many couples fail to make time for fun alone together.

  Having a good sex life and enjoying a sense of romance is a vital part of a good marriage. Learn what each other’s idea of romance is and discuss what feels romantic to you. Be imaginative and creative. Let your partner know how attractive they are to you.

  Take time for meaningful conversation. Know what’s important to your partner. Make time to simply talk and share your lives with one another. Remind yourselves of the unique history you already have together.  

  Adultery and immoral relationships don’t “just happen.” There are small decisions that lead to an affair. Set up some guardrails today to protect your marriage and purity before you crash and have a moral disaster.  

Looking for quality used Christian books and other types of books at prices lower than even Amazon. Check out our family's online used bookstore at resurrectedreads.com or visit our store at the Waterford Unique Antique Market at 209 North Milwaukee Street in Waterford, WI -- 262.534.3500.