“Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.” W. Clement Stone
President Harry Truman had one child, a daughter,
Margaret. He had a clever quip about saying no when interacting with Margaret. “I
have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what
they want and then advise them to do it.” His point is that nobody likes to
be told what to do, so if you want your children to listen to you, you find a way
to give them advice, so it doesn’t seem like that’s what you’re doing. Your job
isn’t to make them do all the things you want to do, it’s to help them do
the things they should do and that are best for them.
Now that school is out and many are interacting with their children more than during the school year, you probably find that you’re saying, “No” a lot more. Research has found that parents say “no” to their children 8,395 times a year. Most parents say “no” to kids staying up late, having sugar before bed or the kids buying something. One survey of 2,000 parents of children aged one to 16-years-old, revealed that they reject their kids’ questions and queries an average of 23 times a day. Nearly two-thirds repeatedly say no to their child for the same request over and over again. Of those who felt they say no too often, 54 percent said they did it to help them understand they can’t get everything that they want. While 37 percent don’t want their kids to be spoiled so 34 percent do it to protect their kids.
Even as adults, most of us don’t like the word “No.” When we hear the word “no,” often we associate the word with negativity. “No” comes out when something bad happens or is something that prevents a bad thing from happening. Of course, saying “yes” all the time isn’t healthy as Jim Carrey illustrated in the 2008 comedy movie, Yes Man.
Have you ever noticed that it’s rare to wake up in the middle of the night and be so excited about an upcoming event that you have difficulty going back to sleep? Yet, worry will cost us many sleepless nights. Did you know that 85% of what we worry about never happens, and with the 15% that did happen, 79% discovered either that they could handle the difficulty better than expected, or it taught them important lessons. 97% of what we worry over isn’t real, it’s just our dark imagination. It’s why Jesus urged: “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in Me” (John 14:1).
Say no to anger! Thomas Manton warned, “Nothing makes room for Satan more than wrath.” Nearly everyone reading this was angry at least once this past week (hopefully, it wasn’t once a day). It may have been a minor frustration with another driver or being irritated with your kids for not putting away their toys. It may have been a work situation. Some husbands and wives live with daily anger toward each other. Some parents and children are in a constant battle with outbursts of anger and abusive words. Many adults carry childhood hurts. Every time they think about them, they either tunnel into depression or seethe with anger.
Think of what could happen if everyone learned to deal with properly with anger. Child abuse and divorce would be eradicated. Murder, terrorism, and war would end. Many health problems would clear up. Anger can harm the heart as much as smoking or high blood pressure.
While there is a place for righteous anger, that’s not what most of us struggle with. Jesus’ world was also rife with evil and injustice, yet the Gospels record only one instance of what we would be labeled “righteous anger” on the part of the Savior. If Jesus wasn’t an angry person, why does He have so many angry followers? It’s a lack of faith. We don’t believe God is in control, and He needs our help. Then we don’t depend on the Holy Spirit to control us. Solomon warned, “Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools” (Ecclesiastes 7:9).
Say no to ungratefulness! Zig Ziglar nailed it, “You will never see a happy ungrateful person.” Most of us don’t consider ourselves ungrateful, yet ingratitude shows up in our lives in a variety of ways – complaining (or venting), bitterness, jealousy and discontent – usually over minor annoyances. Something bad happens—a trial an annoyance or an injustice, and we gravitate to the following thoughts: I don’t have it as good as other people. Why can’t I ever catch a break? God blesses others more than me.
So, start some new habits and say a loud NO to worry, anger and ungratefulness yet say a loud YES to trusting God, His love and being grateful for His goodness in your life!
Now that school is out and many are interacting with their children more than during the school year, you probably find that you’re saying, “No” a lot more. Research has found that parents say “no” to their children 8,395 times a year. Most parents say “no” to kids staying up late, having sugar before bed or the kids buying something. One survey of 2,000 parents of children aged one to 16-years-old, revealed that they reject their kids’ questions and queries an average of 23 times a day. Nearly two-thirds repeatedly say no to their child for the same request over and over again. Of those who felt they say no too often, 54 percent said they did it to help them understand they can’t get everything that they want. While 37 percent don’t want their kids to be spoiled so 34 percent do it to protect their kids.
Even as adults, most of us don’t like the word “No.” When we hear the word “no,” often we associate the word with negativity. “No” comes out when something bad happens or is something that prevents a bad thing from happening. Of course, saying “yes” all the time isn’t healthy as Jim Carrey illustrated in the 2008 comedy movie, Yes Man.
Have you ever noticed that it’s rare to wake up in the middle of the night and be so excited about an upcoming event that you have difficulty going back to sleep? Yet, worry will cost us many sleepless nights. Did you know that 85% of what we worry about never happens, and with the 15% that did happen, 79% discovered either that they could handle the difficulty better than expected, or it taught them important lessons. 97% of what we worry over isn’t real, it’s just our dark imagination. It’s why Jesus urged: “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in Me” (John 14:1).
Say no to anger! Thomas Manton warned, “Nothing makes room for Satan more than wrath.” Nearly everyone reading this was angry at least once this past week (hopefully, it wasn’t once a day). It may have been a minor frustration with another driver or being irritated with your kids for not putting away their toys. It may have been a work situation. Some husbands and wives live with daily anger toward each other. Some parents and children are in a constant battle with outbursts of anger and abusive words. Many adults carry childhood hurts. Every time they think about them, they either tunnel into depression or seethe with anger.
Think of what could happen if everyone learned to deal with properly with anger. Child abuse and divorce would be eradicated. Murder, terrorism, and war would end. Many health problems would clear up. Anger can harm the heart as much as smoking or high blood pressure.
While there is a place for righteous anger, that’s not what most of us struggle with. Jesus’ world was also rife with evil and injustice, yet the Gospels record only one instance of what we would be labeled “righteous anger” on the part of the Savior. If Jesus wasn’t an angry person, why does He have so many angry followers? It’s a lack of faith. We don’t believe God is in control, and He needs our help. Then we don’t depend on the Holy Spirit to control us. Solomon warned, “Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools” (Ecclesiastes 7:9).
Say no to ungratefulness! Zig Ziglar nailed it, “You will never see a happy ungrateful person.” Most of us don’t consider ourselves ungrateful, yet ingratitude shows up in our lives in a variety of ways – complaining (or venting), bitterness, jealousy and discontent – usually over minor annoyances. Something bad happens—a trial an annoyance or an injustice, and we gravitate to the following thoughts: I don’t have it as good as other people. Why can’t I ever catch a break? God blesses others more than me.
So, start some new habits and say a loud NO to worry, anger and ungratefulness yet say a loud YES to trusting God, His love and being grateful for His goodness in your life!
Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.
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