Breaking free from technology addiction

“Technology is best when it brings people together.”

Matt Mullenweg

  Danish philosopher and theologian, Søren Kierkegaard, told a parable of a rich man riding in a lighted carriage driven by a peasant who sat behind the horse in the cold and dark outside. Unfortunately, because he sat near the artificial light inside the lit carriage, the rich man missed the panorama of beautiful stars outside, a view that was gloriously manifest to the peasant.

  Technology, even something as simple as carriage lights, can rob us of the beauty of reality. Ours is a culture that thinks that it has everything, yet often misses so much. One of the joys of going someplace out of the way, even desolate, is that you can see things you wouldn’t normally see though they were there all along. What’s missing is perspective, being distracted, even blinded by technology.  

  Some years ago our family was vacationing in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. I was out on a boat fishing in the middle of the lake late at night with a friend. As we looked up into the sky, I’d never seen so many stars. It was truly glorious! With the glare though of city lights of even small towns, those same stars are virtually invisible. 

  Like the rich man in the carriage, technology often blinds us to true beauty. Please understand, I’m not a Luddite. I’m very thankful for modern conveniences. Yet, I know that those same conveniences often blind me to real beauty. Technology is attractive…even addictive (at least it can be for me). I find that I have to discipline myself to not check my phone and focus on what’s going on around me.

  In the past, when I was out with family or friends for a meal, I’d put my phone on the table. A friend pointed out that when the phone is on the table, the phone has priority over everyone and everything else. Since then, when I can, I try to remember to put it on silent and keep it in my pocket.

  Yet, it’s very alluring to be connected on my phone with things that are thousands of miles away and miss what’s going on right in front of me. It’s tempting when a question comes up to immediately Google the answer on the computer that we can hold in our hand. It doesn’t help that with clocks on our phones, many no longer wear watches. While we plan to just check the time, the enticement of other eye-candy can be overly enticing. Without really thinking, we find that we’re also checking email, Facebook or Twitter. Before we know it, huge chunks of time are gone, we’re a million miles away, seduced by technology from what was the true priority.

  Many of us miss out on life’s most precious moments because we’re so busy trying to capture them on our phones. 40% admit that they’ve not truly experienced moments, such as a child’s first steps or a graduation, because technology got in the way. The average adult says 16 hours is the longest he or she can be parted from their cell phone before feeling “miserable.” It’s not a big surprise that another 35% confess they spend too much on their cell, laptop or Ipad. If more of us were candidly honest, the percentage would no doubt be much higher.

  Technology addiction can be a source of great humor or embarrassment. One woman who regularly went to sleep while using her iPad woke up one morning to find it at the bottom of the bed. Somehow it’d triggered camera mode and accidentally shot a sequence of blurred pictures that no one should ever see. Another man went on vacation in the country with his family and twisted his ankle after walking into a cow while texting. One in five has bumped into someone because they were so preoccupied with their hand-held device. One in ten has tripped or fallen while texting or walked into a pole or wall. Countless others regularly violate social etiquette by texting in the theater during a movie (24%), during a wedding (16%), and even in church (12%...just know our ushers are on alert 😊). 74% admit that their phone is never more than three feet away from them.

  Now I’m not suggesting we all join a worldwide 12-step. For the believer, it begins with “Be still, and know that I am God” (Ps. 46:10). A spirit of quietness and being unplugged is a needed starting point. As we see God and look at life from His perspective, all of the pieces begin to come together. Some other practical steps would be…

  The rule of 3. Rather than jumping at the sound of every electronic notification, designate 3 times a day to check email and social media and limit the time you spend responding. It will give you uninterrupted blocks of time where you’re not disturbed by meaningless distractions.

  Start your day technology free. Starting with your phone the first thing in the morning immediately flips you into work mode. Instead start your day with a quiet word of prayer and other things that are fulfilling like savoring coffee, reading the paper, cuddling with your child or spouse.

  Set expectations by responding to texts or voicemails during reasonable hours. If you respond after 9:00 pm or on Saturday morning, others will believe you’re available anytime, 24/7, and will sabotage your downtime.

  Give your phone a home to enforce healthy work/life boundaries. When you walk in the door, place your devices in a designated spot rather than carrying it into the dining room or bedroom or even having it tethered to your side. If it’s important for someone to get in touch with you, they’ll leave a text or voicemail that you can respond to at a more convenient time.

  Make a point to do something non-tech related each day. Read a book. Walk outside. Play an instrument or even create something with your hands. Making it a habit to step away from technology and work, even for a few minutes, provides perspective and restoration.

  God designed a need for rest into our very being. Ask any athlete and they’ll tell you that rest is essential for physical training. Rest is essential for soul rest and spiritual growth. If we don’t technologically untether ourselves and schedule rest into our lives, we’ll miss out on the vast panorama of beauty that our Heavenly Father has created for us to enjoy.

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

 

 

 

  

Even God knows you need a vacation...

“Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.”   Allen Saunders

  Timelines have never been one of my gifts. I’ve continually had difficulty estimating how long a project will actually take and am too optimistic. Jane, on the other hand, is much more realistic. It makes me very thankful to be married to someone so smart. So a normal conversation for us is for me to ask her input on a realistic appraisal on how long a project will take.

  Sometimes my ineptness at time estimation costs me, as it did recently. There’s a project related to our new building that I thought I could focus on and complete on my first day of vacation. Boy, was I ever wrong! It took bits and pieces of our whole week…and we’re still working on it. But we can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.

  Vacations are very important. For the past few years, there’s been a lot of criticism of both President Obama and Trump on the amount of vacation time they take. Personally, I have a hard time believing that the President is really ever on vacation. I just can’t see, “Well, I know a hurricane just took out Florida BUT don’t bother me now…I’m on vacation.”

  In a few weeks the summer vacation season officially starts. So is there a biblical worldview when it comes to vacations? While Scripture never specifically says anything about vacations, the Bible has a lot to say about rest and a stewardship of life. Both concepts are applicable when it comes to the matter of a believer taking a vacation. Sadly, while Christians value work (as we should), too few value rest. Have you ever shared with a friend that you were “so busy” and they responded, “Not me. I’ve had so much time off, I’m not sure what I’m going to do with myself.” It’s a conversation that’s not going to happen in American culture.

  On top of that, what many of us call a “vacation” has little to do with rest. We’re so time and activity oriented, we have difficulty adjusting to true down time. But if it’s a vacation why do you really need to know the time? Maybe to catch a plane, but if your vacation is as brimming full (sometimes even more) as your typical work week, what’s really the point?  

  In the very beginning our Creator God set the example of rest after the biggest project of all time. “On the seventh day God finished His work that He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work that He had done” (Genesis 2:2). Part of the very identity of the Jews as God’s chosen people was that they were commanded to take an entire day of rest from all work. And while as New Covenant Christians, we are no longer under the Old Testament Law, that doesn’t mean that rest isn’t part of God’s plan and essential for us. Jesus said the Sabbath was made for us, meaning that God gave it as a gift to us (Mark 2:27). God knows that we need rest. In resting and ceasing from work, we demonstrate faith and dependence on God for His provision.

  In a culture that values busy and accomplishment, taking a break to recharge your batteries, bond with your spouse and family, to see God’s wonderful world are vital, yet too often taken-for-granted blessings. Vance Havner said, “We need to come apart and rest awhile, and if we don't come apart, we will come apart, we'll go to pieces! It is true that the devil never takes a vacation, but we are not to follow the devil but the Lord.”

  The Lord Jesus told His disciples after an exhausting day of ministry and meeting people’s needs, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.” We need to turn off our phone and all other electronics, pack up and get away trusting God that things won’t fall apart in our absence. It’s biblical wisdom to take that step of faith in God and rest.  

  Vacation improves us. The vacation tradition was started by companies in the early 20^th century as a productivity strategy. Employers found that their employees returned re-charged and much more productive as a result of taking a break. Recent studies show American workers are much more productive after returning from a vacation. Increased hours of sleep and decreased levels of stress resulted in more productivity.

  Are you and your spouse constantly bickering? Is family life a war zone? Maybe you don’t need a marriage or family counselor, you all just need some real rest. Take an electronics fast. Believe me, if it’s truly an emergency, they’ll always find you. Take a walk on the beach or in the forest, listening to God’s matchless symphony. Breathe deep, relaxing in the glory of His creation. Have long conversations with your spouse and children. Make s-mores and stare up at a star-filled sky. Play table games. Read a book until you doze, just make sure it’s not work related.  Count your many blessings! For most of us, it will take a few days to decompress.

  Vacation spurs our creativity and gratitude. My favorite vacations are the ones where I can enjoy the outdoors and marvel at God’s creation. For me, the artificialness of a theme park is like a TV dinner. I want true beauty by the Master. Seeing God’s creativity spurs our creativity. In most jobs or hobbies, if you can add a creative element you’ll be more productive and fulfilled with what you’ve created. That’s also true of worship. You are God’s masterpiece…a one of a kind. There is a deep fulfillment in living out your purpose through the talents and abilities God has given you. 

  Please take some time and enjoy it. Enjoy it with your Heavenly Father. We were created to love and enjoy Him forever. A vacation is a wonderful reminder of that. So go ahead and schedule it. If you need to, tell your boss that it’s a church thing and your Pastor made you do it.  

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.

Burnout is normal!?!

 “Burnout is nature’s way of telling you, you've been going through the motions your soul has departed; you're a zombie, a member of the walking dead, a sleepwalker. False optimism is like administrating stimulants to an exhausted nervous system.”   Sam Keen

 

Currently, Jane and I are on vacation in Tennessee. It’s our third year at a wonderful cabin in an out of the way place called Muddy Pond. With a name like that, you know it’s a bit off the beaten path. So it’s some two weeks of being basically unplugged and technology free in natural quietness. Our neighbors are the bullfrogs who serenade us each night, a blue heron who periodically drops in, and more catfish than I can count. I buy a big bag of dog food and feed them. It’s like having underwater pets.

  But there’s one hurdle I’ll struggle with nearly every day. Unfortunately, it’s not just when I’m on vacation. Like many of you, I wrestle with this monster nearly every day, particularly on a day off. His name is GUILT.

  The work of a pastor, like that of a farmer (maybe that’s why the Bible calls us shepherds) or the mother of young children, is never done. There’s always one more person you should call, one more letter you should write, one more sermon to prepare. Where’s the line? When is enough time spent in prayer or Bible study? What about evangelism or encouragement? Papers to file start piling up, books that should be read, another meeting to attend. Somehow you’re supposed to be a good husband, available parent, friendly neighbor, keep up with house chores, yard work and car repairs. Many of you feel the same pressure. In our day of economic cutbacks where employers are seeking to stay competitive, they continually ask less people to produce more and more.

  Often I find myself waking up in the middle of the night, remembering things I need to do or some forgotten detail that I overlooked. Then, as much as I try, sleep seems to allude me.

  Busyness, burn out, fatigue are so much a part of our lives that tragically, we’ve accepted them as normative. It’s why many fall asleep in front of the TV or looking at a screen. It’s why we don’t read. The quietness of stopping, just sitting down is difficult for us. And when we do, we fall asleep, so we give up. It’s why too many of us are on the brink of burn out.

  What are some of the signs of burnout? A biblical example of burn out is the Old Testament prophet, Elijah. I’d encourage you to take time to read his story this week. You’ll find the account of Elijah on the verge of a major breakdown in 1 Kings 19. As a high fever can be a sign of serious illness, these are some of the symptoms of burn out.  

  We depreciate our life and worth. Your life is filled with negative self-talk. Dark tapes play over and over in your mind like a broken record: “I’m a nobody. My life doesn’t matter. I don’t count. I have no value.” We compare ourselves with others and their accomplishments: “I’m not doing enough.” We compare our problems with the seemingly easy life others have. We compare our talents or gifts, and think how meager they are compared to the super star quality of the person next door or in the next office. But the worst thing we do is when we compare our expectations with the way life has really turned out. Failures then become final. When we begin to look at the way life turned out compared to the way we expected it would, we set ourselves up for anger, bitterness and burnout.

  We take on responsibility that’s not legitimately ours. You can’t make your kids do the right thing. A preacher can’t get people to respond in the right way to God’s Word. You can’t make an addict quit. But we still try, we up the ante on our inner control freak. Then, we blame ourselves for things we can’t control and that aren’t our fault. We develop a superhero syndrome, attempting to be general manager of the universe.

  We exaggerate what’s wrong and our problems. We overemphasize all that’s wrong in our lives, yet overlook God’s blessings. We consistently focus on the negative whether it’s in our life or in the world around us. We become critical, negaholics…and it often shows on our faces. When you’re drained, fatigued or exhausted, you have difficulty seeing life accurately.

  We pay too much attention to our feelings. Ours is an emotionally driven world. When we focus on how we feel instead of what’s true, it discourages us. Our emotions continually deceive us. Just because you feel a certain way doesn’t mean it’s real. Ask any professional athlete and he’ll tell how discouraged he can feel after a great performance. He’s drained emotionally, so it’s easy to distort reality. He may have done a great job, but that’s not the message he hears from his emotions. Sometimes we must ignore our feelings. Feelings are highly unreliable. So what’s the cure?

  Rest, both physically and spiritually. When we feel overwhelmed, most cut back on the one area that helps us deal with being overwhelmed – rest. We need to go to bed at a decent time. Sometimes taking a ten minute nap helps us recharge in the middle of the day. God understands your body better than you do. Psalm 127:2 (Living Bible) “God wants His loved ones to get their proper rest.” Sometimes in life the most spiritual thing you can do is go to bed. When you’re tired, you can’t handle a whole lot. Often a good night’s rest will radically change your perspective, literally overnight.

  If you’ve set aside (or never started) the habit of spending time in God’s Word and prayer, restart. Physical exercise is helpful; spiritual exercise is the best. Resist the tyranny of the urgent. Instead, renew a fresh awareness of God’s power and presence in your life. Learn to pray for others, too.

  Grow in gratitude. I’ve found that if I’ll take the time to write notes of gratitude, it lifts up my spirit and recharges me. We must learn to thank God for even the “little” blessings and work at turning our focus from the negative to the positive. It’s easy to let negative things dominate our time and thoughts. When we stop letting them control us, when we start spending more time with positive/grateful people, our emotional state dramatically improves. Serving others does the same thing, getting our mind off ourselves. There’s something very powerful about serving others. It’s regenerating. Depressed individuals are self-absorbed, yet serving others is medicine to our souls. 

  Learn to have fun. There’s a world of difference between taking life seriously and taking myself too seriously. Most of us need to learn to lighten up, to laugh more, to do something unplanned, even spontaneous. When we do, we find ourselves rejoicing in the Lord more.

  Remember the famous entertainer, Frank Sinatra? He was known for his song, I Did It My Way. Sadly, his last words before he died were, “I’m losing it.” Even Frank Sinatra didn’t have power over life and death. He wasn’t God and couldn’t control the timing of his own death. If you’re a believer, God is your Father and He has it all under control. We can trust Him. As we do, we learn to rest in Him more and more. 

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