Saying "Good-bye" to the Super Woman Syndrome

“I learned more about Christianity from my mother than from all the theologians in England.”   John Wesley

  Mother’s Day, though a good holiday, isn’t a biblical one. In our day of cataclysmic change, the role of mothers specifically and women in general has radically changed since 1914 and that first Mother’s Day. God’s Word and the standards of what it means to be a godly woman though will never change. Yet, there’s tremendous pressure to “conform” to the standards of a godless world when it comes to the roles of women. Sadly, these false standards of what it means to be a woman often invade the church.

  Fortunately, the derision of stay at home mothers seems to have abated in recent years. Probably, the cultural disparity hasn’t changed much since Hillary Clinton’s demeaning remark about stay at home moms in 1992, “I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas….” Rather, it’s so rare today to find a stay at home mom, it’s a moot point. The Bible doesn’t commend either working women or stay at home ones. The woman of Proverbs 31 was definitely a working woman, though within the then acceptable confines of an agrarian society. Yet, there are many other areas where a Christian woman feels pressure to conform to the standards of this world that have nothing do with being a godly mom.

  One of the most flagrant is appearance. From Madison Avenue to Hollywood, all showcase women of flawless beauty. It’s ironic that even female newscasters of conservative Fox News, for the most part, look as if they’ve walked off the stage of a beauty pageant. Rachel Maddow couldn’t get a job at Fox even if she was the next Sarah Palin. Fortunately, there’s been push back with the featuring of oversize models. Every woman feels the pressure to focus more on her outer appearance than her inner one.

  Closely related to our obsession with appearance is sexuality. Last week The Wall Street Journal carried an article, asking if lovers should reveal to a new partner how many sexual partners they’ve previously had. A Texas State University study found that the average number of sexual partners was eight. (Results weren't broken down between men and women.) Lisa Mattson, who’s sex life is used an example in the article felt she’d greatly upped her morality standards when she met her now-husband, 11 years ago, in that she dated him three to four times a week for a month before she had sex with him. Sexuality is the cultural currency that makes one valuable. High schools are attacked as prudish if they dare to tell a girl her dress is too revealing for prom. Wives, married to men addicted to porn, feel pressure to commit acts they feel are revolting. All of this is passed off as normal. A woman committed to purity and holiness is ridiculed as old fashioned and hopelessly out of touch.

  Then, pity the mother who confesses that her brood is not taking music lessons, dance lessons, involved in after school sports, on a traveling team, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, church youth group, FFA, etc. Everyone “knows” a good mom fills her children’s lives with activity. A mom who seeks to maintain some sanity in the family schedule is caricatured as nearly being neglectful and possibly should even be reported to social services.

  Then, in this physical beauty crazed, sexually charged, frenetic activity parenting culture, a mom is only successful if she’s also a dietician. Good moms give their family “good” food. Add to that, some have nearly spiritualized that it must be “natural.” Visit a Christian bookstore and prepare to be assaulted by countless books on “biblical” diets like Slim For Him; More of Jesus, Less of Me; The Daniel Plan; Made to Crave…to name just a few. To suggest Scripture has a biblical diet is akin to suggesting that the opening lines in Macbeth, “Double, double, toil and trouble. Fire burn and cauldron bubble” indicate Shakespeare meant his play to be a tale about cooking. Mark it down, a moms isn’t going to be scolded at the Bema Seat because she served her family GMO foods.

  All of these, and there are others, are all manmade values. While at some level, they’re good things to practice – they have little to do with godliness. A pagan Buddhist could have these same values. There’s no spiritual merit here and they do little for your family in the Kingdom.

  So what does contribute to being a godly woman? What are some biblical values a woman who loves the Lord should focus on?

  Stay submitted to Christ. Loving obedience and humble surrender before the Lord are actions that put our lives in right perspective before Him. Neglecting time with Jesus will only result in following a wayward, self-focused heart that often forgets the lordship of Christ. Our lives are not our own; we were bought with the blood of Christ.

  Stay in Scripture. God’s Word is the only sure guide for being wise, godly and a good mom. It tell us the inerrant truth and acts as our guide. As with counterfeit money, Christians can discern counterfeit messages because we are so thoroughly familiar with truth and the original.

  Stay in Prayer. Prayer is part of our submission to Christ, as we realize our need for communing with the Father of all truth. Gaining wisdom through prayer is like grocery shopping: shop on an empty stomach and you’re more likely to make poor decisions that suit our immediate needs. The person who fills up on a hearty meal before shopping makes wiser decisions and can discern options more clearly. When we stay in prayer and Scripture, seeking wisdom and discernment, we’re more likely to see life with a clearer understanding of Biblical, gospel-centered truth.

  Stay in the local church. The Church is Christ’s bride and His instrument for accomplishing His will and spreading His glory to the world. The Church is comprised of individual believers who, when submitted to Christ, in His Word and in prayer, can teach and encourage each other in all truth (Colossians 3:16). The local church is one of the few places that will encourage you to be a godly Mom, based on truth from God’s Word.

  “Be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12:2). 

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