Why do we talk about everything but Jesus at church...

“Communication is the art of expressing in godly ways what is in my heart and of hearing completely and understanding what another thinks and feels.” Tedd Tripp

Okay, I’ve got what you might consider to be a strange question. While I have some opinions on this, I honestly don’t have the answer. And just in case this ticks you off that I’d even bring this up, I’m “innocent.” A friend brought it up to me first. His question was triggered by a book he’s reading where the same question came up (So have I engaged enough layers of protection and deniability now to keep me off the proverbial hook? J)

  Here’s the question: Why is it when Christians gather in church to worship God, we essentially talk about anything and everything BUT God and worship? I’m not talking about formal or organized times, such as a Bible study or small group session. I’m talking about normal conversations when we see each other, like in the hallways or at the coffee bar or in the foyer. And in interest of full disclosure, I know that I’m guilty as well.

  What triggered this question was the testimony of a liberal lesbian who started seeking answers about God. She began visiting evangelical churches and was astounded that while they talked about God and the Bible from the pulpit and in small groups, there were rarely any other “God” conversations between those attending the worship service. Ouch!

  The very last thing I want to do is encourage us to become a bunch of Pharisees where those who engage in spiritual conversations are “godly” and those who don’t are “carnal.” Legalism is always enticing because it feeds our egos and tempts us to succumb to pride. Yet, on the other hand, if you think about it, this is a bit strange.

  Imagine going to a Packers game and no one talked about football, their opponents, Aaron Rodgers, Clay Matthews or even Mike McCarthy. Don’t you think there would be conversations about other historic games played there or previous experiences that one had at Lambeau Field? If you went to a political convention would you be shocked if people talked about…politics? At an auto show wouldn’t people talk about…cars?

  Obviously, when we gather together, there’s going to be some catching up and social interaction. The weekend services are the only time many of us see each other all week. Yet, shouldn’t there be some God conversations, some dialogues about what we’re learning as we study God’s Word, how God has been answering prayer or sharing prayer burdens we’re carrying, work that the Holy Spirit is doing in our lives? Shouldn’t there be some sharing of how we’ve shared with someone who didn’t know the Lord the Gospel and asking for prayer that the seed would take root and bear fruit? Shouldn’t there be some sharing of praises and blessings? Isn’t this the time, too, when we can easily live out those one another commands our New Testaments are peppered with: encourage one another, pray for one another, bear one another’s burdens, encourage one another, accept one another, comfort one another, confess your faults to one another, love one another…to name just a few? If there is a “spiritual” conversation, would it truly be considered godly? Aren’t they frequently about some “issue” or even a concern about the church, not exactly a spiritual conversation about how God is working in our church or lives?

  Yet, is there any other segment of our lives where we’d supposedly gather for one purpose and focus, but never even have a casual, candid conversation about the very subject we’ve gathered together for? Isn’t that strange? Even odd? So why is this often the case at church?

  I’m not sure. As I’ve contemplated this over, these are some of my random thoughts. Hopefully, this will stir your thinking and you’ll come up with other reasons why this is often the case, and we’ll all grow in this area together. Hopefully, too, it will challenge all of us to have conversations, particularly when we’ve gathered together with more spiritual substance and eternal significance. So these are some reasons I don’t think we talk about God even when we’ve come to worship God.

  We don’t want to come off as hyper-spiritual. While we have little concern about being perceived as a “fan” in nearly every other area of our life, most of us have encountered an obnoxious Christian who turned us  and everyone else off. As a result, we fear being caricatured as a fanatic.

  We’re so glad to see our friends we never get around to it. Sometimes the worship service is the only time we see some of our friends. There’s so much to catch up on that we never really get around to spiritual matters.    

  We’re just not sure how to start the conversation. It’s not familiar turf for most of us. In all of our other relationships, we talk about the weather, politics, sports, family, etc. Those are familiar subjects where we feel very comfortable. There are so few individuals we can have a spiritual conversation with so when we have an opportunity, we’re not sure how or even where to start.

  We feel very inadequate to talk about spiritual things. When it comes to God or the Bible, we feel that we’re over our head. So rather than say something dumb or off the wall, we just keep quiet.

  And this one is scary and I truly hope it’s not the case…We’ve come to the service because it’s a spiritual habit, not because we’re actually spiritually engaged in what’s taking place. Sadly, that’s the case with some. Let’s just hope and pray it’s unusual and not the norm…and let’s make sure it’s not true of us.

  So what can we do? Start. Begin having spiritually minded conversations. Come with your heart prepared to worship and you’ll find it’s easier to talk about spiritual matters. Maybe come prepared with something you’re comfortable opening with as a spiritual conversation starter. Pray and ask the Lord to lead you to the right person and to give you the right words. Then, look for those you can encourage and/or pray with. Honestly evaluate your thinking and focus as you come to worship. Are you in a spiritual mindset when you come? If not, why not? Honestly evaluate the conversations you’re typically part of. Could they take place with an unsaved friend or neighbor? If so, is it really how you want to use those precious minutes we have together each week with God’s family?

  At Grace, let’s all determine to have more family conversations about our Father, His Word and family when we’re together with our forever family.