Finishing Well

The race is not always to the swift but to him who keeps on running.

One of the heroes in Christian History is William Wilberforce. As a young man, Wilberforce was very discouraged one night in the early 1790s after another defeat in his 10 year battle against the slave trade in England. Tired and frustrated, he opened his Bible and began to leaf through it. A small piece of paper fell out and fluttered to the floor. It was a letter written by John Wesley shortly before his death. Wilberforce read it again: “Unless the divine power has raised you up... I see not how you can go through your glorious enterprise in opposing that (abominable practice of slavery), which is the scandal of religion, of England, and of human nature. Unless God has raised you up for this very thing, you will be worn out by the opposition of men and devils. But if God be for you, who can be against you? Are all of them together stronger than God? Oh, be not weary of well-doing. Go on in the name of God, and in the power of His might.”

  The slave trade ended because one British politician persevered and committed nearly his entire life to see it end. It took forty years and didn’t end until one month after his death. His lifelong perseverance brought about a radical spiritual and societal change.

  Perseverance is to be a trait of all Christ-followers. The Apostle Paul persevered. Near the end of his life he wrote, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith” (2 Timothy 4:7).

  Yet, many Christians don’t persevere. Nearly every day we learn of another professing Christian, sometimes a very famous one, that’s become disillusioned and jettisoned their faith. Why? How does someone walk away from what at one time they so strongly affirmed that they believed?

  They had unrealistic expectations about God and Christianity. C.S. Lewis referred to this as the “problem of pain.” There’s an erroneous belief, sometimes taught by well-meaning Christians, that God will protect His children and their lives will essentially be pain-free.

  Such teaching flies in the face of the clear teaching of Scripture. The book of Job is right in the middle of the Bible. No one suffered as much as Job. Yet, he was one of the godliest, faithful men in all of the Bible. Beginning in Genesis all the way to the book of Revelation, there’s account after account, even promises of suffering, trials and unbelievable pain.

  God never promises us a pain-free life. The Bible promises something much more powerful, God’s grace to persevere through the worst pain (2 Cor. 12:9) and that all pain for the believer is temporary (2 Cor. 4:16-18).

  While some Christians, because of suffering or disillusionment, abandon their faith. What’s more common is a kind of passive Christianity. Often this is a believer who at one time had a vibrant faith but now are just going through the motions. They may still go church or call themselves a Christian, but something happened, perhaps a struggling marriage or wayward child. While they never say, they no longer “trust” God, they’ve become overwhelmed by pain and sadly, Satan has sidelined them.  

  God rarely conforms His plan to our wishes, which is a good thing. Better than that, we have a Savior who understands all of our sufferings because Jesus has suffered more acutely than any of us ever will.

  They feel betrayed by the Church or a Christian they admired. There are no words for the horror of a spiritual leader molesting or abusing someone under their care. Yet, we know that the poison of a lost world has too often contaminated the church. Then, spiritual leaders can be absorbed with their agenda and self-glory, not God’s. Some manipulate or use those whom they’re responsible for to promote themselves. Narcissism and empire-building is not just a secular world problem. It’s why James warns those in leadership or teaching positions of their greater accountability, “Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness” (3:1). Probably, the greatest betrayal takes place in the home with a parent who claims to be one thing at church, yet lives a double-life. While we all sin and none are perfect, such duplicity and betrayal leave deep, lifelong scars.

  The solution is to look to a Savior who was betrayed and murdered, yet trusted God. He understands the depth of betrayal that none of us can begin to comprehend. We must as the writer of Hebrews urged us to do, “Look to Jesus” (Hebrews 12:1-3) who will never fail or disappoint us.

  They are covering personal sin. Each one of us is designed by God and made in His image, Imago Dei. We were never designed though to live with guilt or a pained conscience. As a result, one has to do something with guilt because the shame and pain can become unbearable. So, like our first parents, we cover ourselves with fig leaves. Some cover guilt with the fig leaf of bitterness or anger. Blaming others, continually focusing on them and how they have been wronged. It helps keeps us from having to look at the darkness within our own hearts. Others will abandon a Bible-believing church that teaches about sin and personal responsibility, yet keep some veneer of spirituality by being part of a church where, as Scripture describes it, their ears are “tickled” (2 Tim. 4:3). Sometimes they will even go to counseling to rid themselves of guilt and “repressive biblical truth.”

  The only true hope and cure is confession and forgiveness. Jesus died for all of our sin. Nothing surprises Him. He longs to forgive and free us from guilt. He’s the Good Shepherd searching for the lost lamb (Matt. 18:12-14).

  What’s the key to being able to endure? You can’t…on your own. We foolishly believe that we’re strong and sufficient in ourselves. We’re not. The key is to rely totally on Jesus. Paul gives us the prescription of perseverance and spiritual success, “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:13). We plug into His power by regularly reading God’s Word, honestly praying and crying out for His strength, surrounding ourselves with other believers who pray, support and encourage us. And we must focus on our eternal future, the finish line. As Esther Kerr Rusthoi powerfully wrote as part of a hymn many years ago:

It will be worth it all when we see Jesus,
Life’s trials will seem so small when we see Christ;
One glimpse of His dear face all sorrow will erase,
So bravely run the race till we see Christ.

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

The Plague of Mid-life Disillusionment

“One of the hardest things to do in life is to let go of what you thought was real.”

  Do you ever watch a movie and ask yourself: “What was the point?” Too many people live lives like that – “What’s the point?” While that type of thinking is understandable for an unbeliever without a biblical worldview of life, it should be foreign for a Christian. Sadly, it isn’t.

  Can we talk? This is not the typical conversation we have at the start of a new year. Since today is the first day of 2017, many see it as a brand new page…a chance to begin again with a clean slate. For too many though, it’s a reminder time is ticking by. Another year is gone; another one is here.

  Maybe in the past, you’d stay up late to welcome in the New Year. You used to be excited about the freshness, the potential opportunities…now not so much. Maybe you actually dread it.

  Too many Christians struggle with deep disillusionment. It’s nearly epidemic, particularly for middle aged believers. It’s also different in how this attacks the two genders. Basically, it’s disappointment with how life has turned out…and if we’re honest, it’s often disappointment with God. We just thought that things were going to be better, but they’re not, so we’re disappointed and disillusioned. Most probably won’t end up in the dark mental cave of a Jean-Paul Sartre who said “life is an empty bubble, floating on the sea of nothingness.” Yet, we may not be that far removed from such an outlook. Disillusionment is the mother of apathy, depression and despair. So let me share some generalizations and hope for you…

  Disillusionment for women. Often a middle-aged woman begins with a very different picture of how marriage and family were going to be than the one they’re living out. Even if it had not been their history, they still dreamed it would be their future. They pictured continual romance with a man who loved them. Not oceanic but warm and at times, still glowing. They dreamed of hand holding and romantic quiet escapes together. If they come from a Christian worldview, they may have pictured serving the Lord together, family devotions, sitting in church together worshipping as a family. Often the dream isn’t a nightmare, though that happens. But they find they’re more like roommates, business partners, rather than lovers.

  And they never, in their worst nightmare, dreamed their little bundle that they’d so longed for, that they went through so much pain to bring into this world, the one for whom they kissed every scraped knee and wiped so many tears away for…would one day barely mumble at them. Or, worse spit out horrible things with hate, anger and venom. Every day is a battle. They may feel imprisoned in their own home. They’re just so hurt and disillusioned. But sadly, most of the other wives and moms they know are living out lives similar to theirs, so there appears to be no hope.

  Disillusionment for men. It’s usually not on the home front where most middle-aged men become disillusioned. It’s in their career and work track. They may even be oblivious to how very unhappy their wife is.

  At one time they dreamed of finding fulfillment in their job. They were excited to go to work. At midlife, they thought they’d be much further along than they are. Now they realize their dreams will probably never be fulfilled. They’re just hoping to not be downsized, demoted, or terminated. They see others far less talented, being promoted ahead of them. They look toward retirement, not because they really want to. It’s a question of sanity. They need to have something to look forward to. Work is a grind. They drag through each day, week…year. They don’t really enjoy weekends or vacation because, in the end, they know they still have to go back to work.

  Unfortunately, this defeated army of the disillusioned men and women just settles. Rather than dealing with core issues, many settle by merely muddling through day after day. Some may jump into a new relationship or at least abandon the one they’re in. It’s why divorce rates spike in midlife. Others pour themselves into the weekend or some hobby, or attempt to live vicariously through their children. Some will self-medicate. Some attempt to anesthetize themselves with sports or entertainment. Anything, rather than their feelings of quiet desperation. Some even pour themselves into a pet or a grandchild. Tragically, a few give up all hope, ending it all.

  What’s the solution? Most of us don’t like the medicine. We want to be placated, not cured. But it begins with confession. It’s a pattern you see throughout Scripture. Disillusionment is the product of simmering anger and bitterness. Our resentment toward our family, job…or whatever, is ultimately resentment toward God. After all, He’s in control and He didn’t come through for us. We feel God owes us. But He doesn’t. He’s already given His Son so we can be forgiven and this world can be truly temporary.

  We need renewal. It’s time to discard immature, idealistic dreams, replacing them with getting to know the Father who loves us, is there for us, and can meet our needs. It means holy habits of Bible study, prayer, worship, serving, being part of a community of faith, sharing our faith.

  Live for an audience of One. We will never satisfy our spouse, children or employer…and they will never satisfy us. Too often we foolishly think, “if only _____ would change,” whether it’s our family or employer. Instead, we must change, seeking to please the One who truly knows what is best for us and loves us unconditionally. Proverbs 16:7, “When a man's ways please the Lord, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.”

  Look for evidences of grace. We tend to rarely miss the negative or something to complain about. Yet in Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, he begins by observing evidences of God’s grace in them (1:4). It’s shocking because they’re the worst church in the New Testament. Most of us would have had difficulty getting past their glaring sins to commend the grace of God in their midst. Yet, Paul looks below the surface and praises God for the grace he sees in them. How did he do that? How can we do that? By enjoying common grace. Focus on small blessings. Enjoy a warm cup of coffee or a friendly smile or even the tail of a wagging dog. By enjoying special grace. Relish the fact you’re loved and accepted unconditionally because Jesus died for you. Meditate on God’s promises. Praise Him for His goodness. Pray others will know Him, too.   

  Live for the real world. “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” If you focus on this life, you’ll end up very disillusioned. As a believer, you must realize that you’re a pilgrim. Everything in this world is temporary, so pour yourself into eternity. Live for what truly matters and it will set you free! 

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.