Giving from the heart...not because you have to

“Man sees your actions, but God your motives.” Thomas à Kempis

Okay, now that Christmas and the Christmas shopping season are here, can I make a little confession? Many years Jane and I make a deal on how much we’re going to spend on each other and what the budget is. When it comes to Jane, I’m a “dirty” dealmaker. We’ll set a certain amount and Jane will honor it, BUT it nearly kills me. And I nearly always break our deal. Why? Well, I love giving gifts to Jane. I love making her happy….because I love Jane and I am so thankful for her! I consider myself one of the most blessed men in the world.

  I agree with Winston Churchill’s classic line. Towards the end of his life, when Churchill was honored at a banquet, someone asked him, “If you could come back as anyone after you die, who would it be?” He thought for a second, stood up, turned to his wife, and said, “Mrs. Churchill’s second husband.”  One of my biggest regrets over the course of my life is that I haven’t done more for Jane during our thirty plus years of marriage. Remember that line from It’s a Wonderful life: “George lassoes the moon for Mary.” If I could, I’d lasso the moon for Jane.

  Though there are many reasons that I love giving Jane gifts and doing things for her, two stand out in my mind. First, Jane gives and gives and gives so much to me. I want to give; I want do things for Jane. Second, Jane is thankful for everything and every gift that I give her.

  One of the frustrations and even exasperations for many of us at Christmas are the obligatory gifts. Those are gifts that you feel you have to give, yet don’t necessarily want to give. Sometimes your family has a huge gift giving tradition that probably should be retired now that everyone is grown and the list of relatives who you’re purchasing gifts for has become onerous. You hardly know your second cousin’s wife and other than Christmas, never see them or have any contact with them, yet still there is that pressure to have a gift for them. Or, you have a co-worker who daily wears on your last nerve but every year they bring you a gift. You find that you feel obligated to give them a gift in return. But guilt and obligation are terrible motivations for gift giving. Rather than feeling joyful that we can give, we find that we feel resentful.

  It’s the difference between Law and Grace, or even tithing and grace-giving. Under the Law or Old Covenant, Jews were required to tithe. It was obligatory. It was something like a tax. It’s obvious that they began resent it and obeyed the letter of the Law but missed the spirit of the Law. For example, Jews were required to bring an animal sacrifice in worship to God. They obeyed the letter of the Law, but began bringing rejects from their flocks. Malachi 1:8 records God’s rebuke of this practice, “When you offer blind animals in sacrifice, is that not evil? And when you offer those that are lame or sick, is that not evil? Present that to your governor; will he accept you or show you favor?” The people of Malachi’s day were giving God the leftovers. They had no use for a blind, lame, or sick animal, so they’ d give it to God. But God tells them that He’d rather that they close the doors of the Temple than to have them offer these junk and cheap sacrifices to Him.

  Can you imagine a husband going down to the local thrift store to buy his wife a Christmas gift? He doesn’t even go to the higher quality displays but goes to the bargain bin to find his wife her gift. And then he’s surprised that her response is a little south of less than thrilled with his junky gift.

  Our culture takes for granted that which is free. But just because something is free doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s cheap. Salvation is a free gift. You cannot earn it or pay for it. You can only accept it freely, BUT it cost God everything. It cost the Father the life of His beloved Son. Once you accept such a precious gift, it demands everything you have in response. And when you recognize that you are not your own, you were bought with a price, and that all that you have has been freely given to you by God, how can you hold back anything from Him?

  The only thing that a holy God owes us is His justice and judgment. Instead, He freely gave His own Son to die on the Cross for us. God’s justice was satisfied as our judgment was poured out on Jesus. He died in our place and took our Hell. Is it any wonder that Paul says of God’s gift for our salvation? “Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!” (2 Corinthians 9:15, NASV).

  When I begin to comprehend how much I am loved by God and how gracious and generous God has been with me, giving back to God becomes one of the greatest joys of my life. I love to give because I am giving in gratitude. And I proactively look for ways that I can give more.

  Somehow though in the Church we’ve communicated that giving is similar to courtesy. For example, frequently we teach children to say please and thank you as a matter of courtesy—as a way of teaching them how to get along in society. It’s the price they must pay to get their milk and cookies. We’re more concerned with the outward performance of good manners than we are with true gratitude.

  There’s a great chasm of difference between giving thanks and having a thankful heart. Our Heavenly Father cares more about thankfulness that flows from the inside out than obedience we wear like a cheap suit. We have missed the gratitude that God desires in our giving when we focus on a tithe, or worse, wonder if we tithe on the gross or the net.

  Giving is an act of worship. It’s demonstrating gratitude to the One who has given so greatly to us that it will take us all of eternity just to begin to thank Him. If we want to receive the blessing that God wants us to receive from giving, rather than hearing it as a command, we need to hear it as an invitation. It’s our opportunity to say thank you back to God for His love and generosity to us. God is honored (and we are healthiest) when our hearts and minds flow naturally with His and we give from a heart overflowing with gratitude and generosity just as His does toward us.