Are you a good neighbor?

“I want you to be concerned about your next door neighbor. 
Do you know your next door neighbor?”  Mother Teresa

State Farm coined the phrase in their commercials: “Like a Good Neighbor State Farm Is There.” It’s a great philosophy to have, but it didn’t originate with them. The concept of being a good neighbor is original with God and the Bible. When the Lord Jesus was asked to sum up all of God’s commands into one command, He said that we are to love God with everything we have and to love our neighbors as ourselves (Matthew 22:37-40). The genius of the Great Commandment is that it’s so simple yet so powerful. Unfortunately, most of us have generalized “neighbor” yet then fail to do anything specifically to love our neighbors. We’ve turned it into a nice saying with no action.

  Think about how wonderful it would be if we took the Great Commandment literally…if we started with loving our neighbors in our very own neighborhoods, where we live? When we build relationships in our neighborhoods and communities, not only are the lives and the families around us affected, but those relationships also begin to connect to God’s story of salvation. It transforms us into having more of the heart of God.

  This year we’re focusing on growing in our neighbor relationships. We want everyone in our church family to participate, even if it’s a small step. It’s simple: build relationships with those right outside your front door.

  America has a new epidemic. It can’t be treated with traditional therapies even though it has debilitating and deadly consequences. The problem seeping in at the corners of our neighborhoods is loneliness. U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy, hoping to generate awareness of the cost of loneliness in one media interview said: “Most of us probably think of loneliness as just a bad feeling. It turns out that loneliness has far greater implications for our health when we struggle with a sense of social disconnection, being lonely or isolated.” Loneliness is detrimental to mental and physical health and can lead to an increased risk of heart disease, dementia, or stroke. According to Dr. Jeremy Nobel, founder of The Foundation for Art and Healing: “Loneliness won’t just make you miserable, but loneliness will kill you.”

  In every worship service at Grace, we have a short time to greet each other. It’s not only because the New Testament commands believers to greet each other, it’s a small step to combat loneliness and begin to build fellowship. The DNA of Christianity is relationships. It begins with a relationship with Jesus. Once we’ve committed our life to Him and are a Christ-follower, we have a new family of brothers and sisters. In the church greeting each other serves as more than just a way to say hello, it symbolizes unity, forgiveness, and hope. It helps bring individuals and groups together. Being committed to breaking out of your personal comfort zone is crucial for believers who want to grow, honor God and demonstrate His love to others.

  We also want to connect with others who may be attending and don’t yet know our Savior. Friendliness and relationships open the door for us to share the one essential relationship. As strangers see that we care, it’s easier for them to believe that God cares about…because He does.

  It’s why for the last few weeks we’ve been encouraging you to make a special treat for your neighbors (we’re even supplying the mixes). It’s been fulfilling to receive some of the feedback of those who have done this. Yet, as your pastor it’s been discouraging how few who are part of the Grace Family have committed to partnering on this. It’s something like 10% of our church. We can do better than this. We must care about our neighbors. It’s not optional if you’re a Christ-follower. It’s a command. So, please join us and let us know the response that you receive. I know that it stretches some of us. By nature, I’m an introvert. What motivates me must motivate all of us – we care because Jesus cares. And it could be the beginning of God working in their lives. It starts by knowing our neighbors.

  So, do you know the names of your neighbors, even the ones two or three doors down or across the street? Do you know the names of their children? 

  Ron Clements said, “You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.” You may remember the story of then Green Bay Packers running back, Aaron Jones in May of 2018. It was all over the news. Aaron Jones was a Good Samaritan. He came off a plane and noticed an elderly woman standing there with no one to help her and without any way to transport herself to her destination, so he jumped in. He found a wheelchair and took her to her destination. Someone caught it on camera, uploaded it online and it went viral. When the media picked up on the story, they called Jones a “Good Samaritan.”
  Are you a “Good Samaritan?” God has called us to reach our community and neighborhoods. Here are some questions that I believe you’ll find helpful to you as you partner with God on His mission.

  How am I loving others? That seems like a simple question. However, if we define love as putting others before ourselves and sacrificing our own resources for the sake of others, it’s worth asking. This helps us live a life that is not primarily about our own advantage, progress, and self-preservation or even our own family. Have I given recently to meet the needs of others even though it costs me money or time?

  How am I paying attention to “the least of these”? It’s easy to love those who are like us but harder to even notice or love those different than us. If we’re blessed with a life that reflects the results of a solid education, good health, strong relationships, comfortable shelter, and sufficient income, then how can we show hospitality to the least of these? Those words are found in Matthew 25, where they refer to the hungry, strangers, prisoners, or the sick. How am I paying attention to the weaker members in my neighborhood? Want a great place to start? Stop and listen. You’ll be amazed at how many long to share their story if we take the time to listen.

  Who am I eating with? Sharing food around a table, even if it’s dessert or soup helps us prioritize others in our community. If we’re always eating with those similar to us, it’s time to invite outside of our comfortable circle to our table so that relational growth can take place and respect for each other’s differences can grow. If you have underage children, work to make your home the safe, enjoyable place other kids want to come to.

  Am I inviting people to join me? As we work as a church family to grow, are we reaching out to others? When we embody this picture of God’s grace, peace, and reconciliation, we’ll have opportunities with others to share the gospel, the only hope for this world. God has called each Christ-follower to be a good neighbor. Are you obeying? If the Lord were handing out grades on this, what grade would you get?

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Hello is Healthier

 

“A smile is the universal welcome.”  Max Eastman

 
Okay, think about it. Where’s a place that you find that you’re consistently warmly welcomed? And not just a, “I’m doing my job welcome.” About the only business where I find that I am warmly welcomed is at a car dealership. I’m rarely there more than a minute before someone is asking, “Sir, have you been helped?” Of course, a car buyer/customer is potentially worth thousands of dollars in commission, so there are other motivations which is why we have a high index of suspicion at a car dealership.
  Did you know that habitually saying “Hello” to others can make you healthier? It also opens doors for friendships. I know that it did for us.
  Some of our lifelong friends in Burlington are Tim and Rozanne Bird. We’d moved in for just a few days and the only people that we knew in Burlington were those from our church. Shortly after we moved in while I was away at work, Tim came over with a fresh loaf of zucchini bread for our family that Rozanne had made…and we’ve been friends ever since. Their children played and grew up with our children. We’d spend the holidays together. We were there for each other if there was a need or an emergency. There was hardly anything more enjoyable for us than to stop and talk to Tim and Rozanne. And though we moved from that neighborhood years ago, we’re still friends and periodically get together (though not as often as either of us would like).
  Being friendly can help you live longer. Gallup just released a poll that learned that adults in the U.S. who regularly say hello to multiple people in their neighborhood have higher wellbeing than those who greet fewer or no neighbors. Your wellbeing score increases steadily by the number of neighbors greeted, from 51.5 among those saying hello to zero neighbors to 64.1 for those greeting six neighbors.
  Americans report saying hello on a regular basis to five neighbors, on average, with 27% reporting greeting six or more. This varies substantially by age, however. Young adults (those under 30) say hello to an average of 2.9 neighbors, compared with 6.5 among those aged 65 or older. About one in seven among those under 30 (14%) greet six or more neighbors, compared with 41% of those aged 65 and older. Having children under 18 in the household marginally improves the chances of greeting neighbors.
  We are suffering from an epidemic of loneliness in the United States and Western civilization. Lacking connection can increase the risk for premature death to levels comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes a day, according to an advisory from the U.S. Surgeon General released earlier this year. The physical consequences of poor connection can be devastating, including a 29% increased risk of heart disease; a 32% increased risk of stroke; and a 50% increased risk of developing dementia for older adults. The continued rise in suicide rates is connected to this crisis that as a culture we are so disconnected.
  What we so cherish, our radical individualism, is at the same time destroying us. Individualism has engendered unprecedented social isolation and yielded a depth of loneliness unique to 21^st-century American culture.
  God designed us as relational beings. It’s a reality long affirmed by the Bible but now also supported by neuroscience. We must understand that we are social beings before we can regain social connectedness, friendship, and community in our church and in the world. While we can’t change the world, we can make a difference in our world. What can we do?
  Limit your smart phone use. Personal, local conversations have been replaced by furious tapping on glowing screens separated by hundreds of miles. A smart phone is nearly always within reach. It’s there to wake us up in the morning, play our favorite music, capture our lives in pics and video, an ever-present portal to Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook, but it carries a price. Our digital interactions with one another, which are often necessarily brief and superficial, begin to pattern all our relationships. As we become shallow in our interactions with people, it becomes our habit.
  The barista at the coffee counter gets a DM-like response. When we hang out with friends, we offer a series of Tweet-like responses in a superficial conversation with little spiritual meaning. The way we interact online becomes the norm for how we interact offline and it’s not the way to have a good conversation with someone. A good conversation involves listening and timing. That’s lost with Internet communications because you’re not there with that person. We must not treat another person the way we would if we interact with social media, but we will if we’re not careful.
  The Lord Jesus models perfect being-in-relationship for us. Jesus was never not in relationship. He didn’t enter this world by splitting the heavens but by gently growing in his mother’s womb. He entered a normal family, spent His childhood and early adulthood in obscurity, and then launched His ministry by inviting others to follow Him. Even on the night of his crucifixion, Jesus gathered for a meal with His disciples, then He led them to pray with Him at Gethsemane. With His final breaths, Jesus instructed his disciples to care for his mother. If relationships were essential to Jesus, shouldn’t they be essential for us, too?
  Like Jesus, we exist for relationships. If Jesus was history’s most “fully alive” human, it shouldn’t surprise us that a person can’t become fully human without a community. Simply put, we were created for community.
  Ours is a social gospel. American Christians tend to read Scripture from an exclusively individualistic framework. We’re surprised to find that the Lord’s Prayer contains only plural pronouns (“Our Father…Give us… Forgive us”) and that the Apostle Paul writes “our Lord” 53 times but “my Lord” just once. So, our salvation isn’t less than personal; it’s more than personal. Responding to the loneliness epidemic creates an ideal opportunity for churches to prioritize fostering authentic community.
  Western individualism has sparked unprecedented social isolation. We must work to recover the biblical need of community. It can begin next door by simply saying “hello” to a neighbor. It starts at work as you take time to interact with co-workers. It’s cultivated at church, as we share and care with our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Don't invite your neighbor to church???

 

“It occurs to me that this is not a neighborhood;

 it is only a collection of unconnected individuals.”   Philip Langdon

 

Be honest. Would you want to live next door to you? Something has happened to the good old American neighborhood. Those who grew up with shows like Andy Griffith, Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood, Cheers, or even Friends carry a longing for a neighborhood that actually works. We want to live next door to Aunt Bea or Chandler Bing. We’d even welcome quirky neighbors like Cosmo or Sheldon. Wouldn’t it be nice to stroll across the backyard in the evening to draw upon the wisdom of Wilson, our neighbor on the other side of the fence, as we process a problem or crisis? We don’t need a home where the buffalo roam. We need a front porch with a swing or rocking chairs for neighbors to stop by to swap stories, insights, opinions, hurts and even disappointments.
  Summer is here! Before winter drives us back inside our castles, we have about four months to build bridges. When the cold hits, our chariots drive up, drawbridges rise up and down, and lights go on inside. Other than dealing with snow, there are few signs of human life in our castles.
  Can I make an odd request from a pastor? Do something better than inviting your neighbor to church – please instead invite them into your life! Get to know them as a person, as Imago Dei, an image bearer of God.  
  Who is your neighbor? Our neighbor is anyone in our proximity with whom we can share God’s love. We’re called not only to love those similar to us or with whom we’re comfortable, but all whom God places in our path. Jesus said, “I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the supple moves of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives His best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that. In a word, what I’m saying is, ‘Grow up.’ You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.” (Matthew 5:44-48, The Message).
  As God shows love to all people, as His  children, you and I are commanded to do the same. We are to work to help our neighbors to connect our stories to the greater story that God is creating in the world. Developing relationships with your neighbors will help you all feel cared for rather than isolated. Most of us have half a dozen neighbors in close proximity. How can we grow in the art of neighboring?
  Know their name. Know the names of their children. All of us have had that blank brain moment. Here’s a tool for remembering their names – pray for them. Add them to your prayer list for your Quiet Time. Pray for them as a family before you eat a meal. As you pray, ask God to help you notice and care about the needs of those who live near you. Ask Him to empower you to be flexible with your schedule so you can accommodate neighbors.
  Slow down and create white space. You must choose to make room for neighborhood relationships. To have time and energy available for reaching out to neighbors takes creating space by letting go of activities that aren’t as important as loving them. Most of us can easily cut back on time on phones or TVs and never miss it.  
  Ask the Lord to help you move from a lifestyle of busyness to one of conversation and community. Adopt a slower pace so you’ll have time to develop relationships with neighbors. Ask God to help you say “no” to even some good activities so you can focus on what’s more important, building relationships with neighbors. Too many of us cram our lives with family and Christian friends so that there’s no space for relationships with neighbors. Be flexible about your daily agenda. Be willing to be interrupted or inconvenienced so you can love your neighbors as God wants you to.
  Ask God for courage. Many never had making new friends modeled for them, so it can be intimidating. Some of our neighbors are as nervous of  approaching us, as we are of them. Very few people are actually dangerous. They’re usually just normal people with maybe some interesting quirks. Remember God has placed a desire to be accepted, and cared for in everyone’s life. Neighbors will usually welcome your efforts to get to know them. Take the initiative to break through the isolation in your neighborhood. It can be something as simple as taking over cookies. If you grow a garden share with neighbors. If you buy fresh vegetables, buy a little extra to be able to give some away. Thoughtfulness touches hearts.
  Be the neighbor that you wish you had. If you have friends over for a party, keep the noise down. Shut things down early so as not to keep neighbors awake. If you can, invite them to join you. If you have a pet, keep it in your yard. If it barks, bring it inside quickly. If you have young children, teach them to respect the boundaries of fences and sidewalks.
  Converse wisely with your neighbors. Listen more than you talk. Ask questions to learn who they are and they’re interests. Everyone has a story and longs for others to listen to them and care. It’s why social media is so popular. If you differ on politics, social issues, or lifestyle choices, listen – gain new insights and perspectives. Look at life from their worldview. Never argue or be belligerent. Be a bridge builder, not a wall builder.
  That statement about Jesus should challenge us: “Jesus was the friend of sinners.” God hasn’t called us to only be friends with nice, churchy people. He’s called us to reach our world like He did. He left heaven and came into this world because He loved people like us…and we’re a big mess. He placed us in our neighborhoods and wants us to get outside of our safe homes and yards to show His love to those around us. Your neighborhood is your mission field. How are you doing on being Jesus there?
  Recently, I happened on a blog entitled “12 Days of Neighboring.” Summer is about 12 weeks, why not use some of its ideas to make this summer “12 Weeks of Neighboring”? Here’s the link: https://www.watermark.org/blog/12-days-of-neighboring

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

 

Life in the Neighborhood

“We make our friends; we make our enemies;

but God makes our next door neighbor.”    G. K. Chesterton

Even today there’s something about leaping into a pile of freshly raked pine needles or using a garbage can lid for a shield in a pinecone battle that still has a special place in my heart. Every great neighborhood needs a Hoot, a Jack and a Corky…unless Corky steals your swing from you on YOUR swing set. How was I to know that a swift punch in the nose would cause a gusher? Today someone would call the police, back then we just put ice on it until it finally stopped bleeding.

  Mr. Clonts was always puttering around his yard and loved his prize roses, but always had time for the neighborhood kids. We’d pull up in his driveway and like we were valued customers, he’d pump air into our bike’s tires and grease the chains. He’d make sure that our bikes were safe and fast. He was never too busy and there never was a bad time to drop by.

  One Christmas I was given some tools and made a stool for the Clontses. Mrs. Clonts made over it and talked about it for years. You’d have thought I’d given her a million dollars. I still remember when they told us that they were moving. I was maybe seven but it was a very, very sad day for me.

  Then, there was Dr. and Mrs. Harris who lived next door. The grass in their lawn was like a soft carpet, surrounded by daffodils. Back then, what I lacked in coordination I made up for in daring. Falling from the top of their swing set in their back yard, I cracked the skin on my knee wide open. I still remember Dr. Harris carrying me home in his arms so that my parents could rush me to the hospital for some needed stitches.

  Penny Merriman was always fun but as a kid, her Mom scared me. You never got past the front stoop. A couple of houses down from her were the Redwines – their house was always open. Essentially, it was an ongoing playhouse for kids. After my Mom died, they saw the pain of a ten-year-old, taking me with their family to the newly opened Disney World.

  My home in the 1960’s was barely inside the Atlanta City limits. The world was changing. All too soon neighborhoods devolved into suburbia. Even back then, socializing was limited – primarily with those who lived a few houses adjacent to yours. Wonderfully, in recent years there’s been an increasing emphasis on healthy neighboring.

  Did you know that is supremely biblical? When Jesus was asked, “What’s the greatest commandment?” He replied: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

  Love your neighbor – that’s it! How simple, yet how difficult. It’s easy to love the nice ones but every neighborhood has at least one of “those” neighbors. Jesus didn’t qualify it and tell us to only love the nice ones.   

  The early church rocked their world because they loved their neighbors. While it’s true that they loved the world and loved people across town, but it all started with the neighbor next door. Yet, you can’t love those you don’t know. Even in a small town community like ours, it’s easy for relationships with our neighbors to be little more than a smile and wave.

  This morning we’re starting a several week series: Meet the Neighbors – The Great Commandment starts next door. In our time crammed and privacy valued culture, this sermon series is going to mess with your world. It’s going to be uncomfortable for all of us. Yet, to fail to see and apply this is to miss God’s will and best for our lives and for our church.

  One of the best examples of neighboring in recent years has been the late Fred Rogers and his program, Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood. He emulated several of the lessons that we all need to learn about neighboring.

  Love your neighbor and love yourself. Despite his background as a Presbyterian minister, Mr. Rogers didn’t try to push a specific agenda on his viewers. Instead, he was a glorious example of someone who could be open to hearing other people’s opinions without diverting from his own values. This characteristic is surely something the world could benefit from practicing today. Listening to the other “side” doesn’t mean you have to surrender what you believe, it simply makes your world more diverse.

  Be a good listener. Mr. Rogers didn’t preach good listening skills in the typical sense, which to many could mean just being quiet so someone else can share information or speak their peace. Instead, he encouraged truly paying attention to what another person is saying. Listening with not only your ears, but your eyes, heart, and soul. Words mean very little if we’re not open to understanding the feelings and thoughts behind them.

  We respond best when there’s an attempt to understand. Mr. Rogers was all about making heartfelt attempts to understand a differing opinion before uttering a response. He felt that the very act of learning what someone’s feelings are grounded in can make others react with an increased sense of care and rationale. In today’s world of social media retorts and arguments, there’s never been a better time to learn and practice this.  

  Treat everyone with respect. This lesson might feel like a no-brainer, the kind of thing any child learns in kindergarten. But Rogers didn’t only say the words, he illustrated the point visually. During a time when black people weren’t allowed to swim in the same pools as white folks, the Pittsburgh, PA native wanted to make a point against segregation. He invited series regular Officer Clemmons, played by African-American actor Francois Scarborough Clemmons, to cool his feet alongside him in a kiddie pool during a segment.

  Love your neighbor as yourself is an outcome of understanding that every person you meet is made in the likeness of God. Then, every person you meet is loved by God and Jesus died for them. When we get a firm handle on those two truths, loving our neighbors becomes very simple.

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.