Unfinished Business

“I’m afraid we’ll always be a book with the end pages ripped out.”

Madisen Kuhn

  At age 99, Leo Plass received his college diploma from Eastern Oregon University. He’d stopped working on his teaching degree during the 1930s when he left college to earn an income in the logging industry. Seventy-nine years later, he completed the three credits necessary to graduate and resolve this important unfinished business in his life. Many of us can relate to Leo. Most of us have unfinished business. I know that I do.

  Are you like me? I feel like I can mark a day off in the “win column,” if my “to do” list is down to single digits. I don’t know what I’d do if it was totally cleared. No doubt that’s why Europeans have a saying they use to compare themselves to Americans: “We work to live but Americans live to work.” That describes many of us in a culture that values workaholism. 

  Some unfinished business is inconsequential. Other unfinished business is very important. If left undone, it will leave a lingering sense of regret. We all have them.

  Forty years later I still remember that two weeks before my Mom was killed in a car accident, I’d told her that “I hated her!” Sadly, I never apologized. After she was killed, those were the words that came back to haunt me. Yet, it was too late to ever say I was sorry. While I know that I’m forgiven by God (it’s why Jesus died…to clean up all of our sin messes). And I know that my Mom would not hold it against me. She was one of the most gracious, forgiving individuals I’ve ever known. Yet, it would have been freeing for me to know there was no unfinished business.

  It’s one reason that Scripture gives this warning about anger that we’d all be wise to heed: Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger” (Eph. 4:26). Like most couples, Jane and I periodically fight. Yet, we’ve worked very hard in our 35-year marriage to not go to bed angry or to leave each other’s company with harsh words. Life is fragile. None us knows when it will be the last time that we see that person alive.

  If you have unresolved issues with those you love, I’d encourage you, if possible, to resolve any unfinished business. We need to keep short accounts with God when we sin and we need to also keep short accounts with each other when there have been angry words or actions.

  Most of us focus on the wrong list of unfinished business. Sometimes it’s referred to as a “bucket list.” Do you really think that anyone comes to the end of life and are so thankful that they visited Disney World? While it might be nice to see the world, I doubt that they’ll show pictures of you in front of the pyramids or the Colosseum when they put together your last slide show. The next time you’re at a funeral, you’ll find a common theme in all of the pictures – people, lots of people, mostly family and loved ones.

  All of us will have unfinished business. The Bible acknowledges that and gives very valuable instructions that we’d do well to heed when we leave our unfinished business: Prepare for the next generation.

  One of my heroes in Scripture is Joseph. Though Joseph had been a prime minister in Egypt and could have had a pyramid built in his honor. Yet, as he was on his deathbed, he looked forward in faith and instructed that when the Israelites went home to the Promised Land, that they’d take his bones with them. 430 years later when they left Egypt, they did.

  As much as you can, complete business that will help those who follow you to know Christ and have a relationship with Him. That’s what Joseph did. His bones reminded them that God had promised to give them a land, that Egypt was not their home. This world is also not our home. God has a “land” waiting for us. Let’s prepare for the next generation by doing all we can to help them be fixed on and live for the real world.

  Then, as much as we can, we must seek to resolve the unfinished business of broken relationships. Recently, the Lord answered one of my prayers. I had a broken relationship with someone and I wasn’t sure how to go about mending it, but the Lord wonderfully took care of it. It was so fulfilling!

  Some broken relationships aren’t mendable. Scripture acknowledges that. The Bible instructs us though that we’re responsible for taking care of our side of the jagged relationship. Romans 12:18 says, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”

  Too many times I’ve met individuals with the unfinished business of bitterness. It’s impossible to be bitter and be a healthy Christian. Sometimes bitterness is an indicator that the individual does not truly have a relationship with Christ. That’s the point of the parable of the unforgiving servant found in Matthew 18 and repeated succinctly in Ephesians 4:31-32.

  When one has been forgiven of so much in the Courts of Heaven as every born-again Christian has, how can we rationalize being unforgiving for the wrongs done against us in this life, no matter how heinous they may be?

  We’re all going to leave this life with unfinished business. It’s inevitable. Please though, as much as you possibly can, make sure that there’s no unfinished business in your relationships. Bitterness always takes its greatest toll on the one who carries it.

  Most of all though, please make sure that you have no unfinished business between you and God. God the Father sent His Son to die for us so that the broken relationship between us caused by our sin could be resolved.

  Salvation and God’s forgiveness are a free gift (John 3:16) that God wants to give every person. He wants our business with Him to be finished so He can forgive us and welcome us Home. If you have unresolved business between you and God, please come to Christ’s cross and let God heal your unfinished business with Him once for all. Do it today. None of us assurance of tomorrow. 

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Regret: Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda

“I frequently hear persons in old age, say how they would live, if they were to live their lives over again: Resolved, that I will live just so as I can think I shall wish I had done, supposing I live to old age.”     Jonathan Edwards

This past May Supreme Court Justice, Clarence Thomas, delivered the Commencement Address at Christendom College. Most commencement speeches tend to be the same vapid fluff of “the future is yours…you can do anything you set your mind on.” They’re rarely notable and seldom remembered. Justice Thomas though took a refreshingly different approach. He candidly and genuinely spoke of his own personal regrets:

  “In 1971, when I was where you are, I was approaching my 23^rd birthday. I was in the process of accumulating—while I sat as you sit—many, many regrets. Such as, failing to return home to visit my grandparents often enough. Too often being influenced by my contemporaries, who knew no more about life than I did! … Even as I’ve had bad judgment, the bad judgment of youth, something kept me from going too far and helped me to learn from those experiences. I spent 25 years of my life in the wilderness, away from the church, and yet the clarion call of Sunday church bells never went away. Something restrained me…In fact, it was a conscience…Even when I had turned my heart against it and turned back on it. I have no doubt that this faith will do the same for each of you if you let it. Perhaps even if you don’t. It is not a tether, but rather is a guide. The way, the truth, and the life.

  That reminds me of my encounters with my grandfather, as the bitter young man. Seemingly I was certain about everything. You know, it’s funny now just how certain we think we are about so much when we have two decades of life under our belts. At the end of our confrontations—that had to be exasperating to my wonderful grandfather—he would often simply say before walking away, ‘You just live long enough, you’ll see’.”

  Since all of us have a sin nature, regrets are universal. I know I have many. Wonderfully for Christians, we know that all of our regrets were nailed to the cross and can be forgiven. Yet, the other side of forgiveness is repentance. By God’s grace, we can change for the future and limit regrets.

  Bronnie Ware, a nurse specializing in care of the terminally ill, recorded her patients' most common regrets. Some of the top ones include:

  I wish that I’d let myself be happier. People admit that they feared change, so they pretended that they were content. They wished that they’d laughed more and allowed themselves to be sillier. I wish I’d stayed in touch with friends. Most people feel badly that they were so caught up in their own lives, they let important friendships slip away. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings. Many people suppress their feelings in order to keep peace with others. I wish I hadn't worked so hard. This regret was expressed by every male patient…every single one of them. I wish I’d been more loving to the people who matter the most. Many expressed sorrow for not having been more understanding, caring, and present for the people who were important to them. They wished they had the courage to say “I love you” more often. I wish I’d been a better spouse, parent, or child. Once someone became terminally ill, it was their families who stuck by them to hold their hand, provide love and companionship, and care for them around the clock. Even if your family isn’t perfect, they’re usually the ones who are there for you when you need them. I wish I’d have done more for others. Many patients made the decision, oftentimes right from their hospice beds, to donate their money to charities and service organizations so they could positively affect the lives of others after they were gone.

  Memory is a funny thing. If someone were to ask you what the happiest moment of your life was, odds are it might take a few seconds for you to respond. On the other hand, when someone asks about your biggest mistake, a memory which brings you the most shame, the mind is instantly flooded with countless, painful instances of regret. Remorse is a cruel teacher, but you never forget a lesson.

  Yesterday is gone. Too often we focus on yesterday and miss out on opportunities to wisely use now. So, what should believers do with regret?

  Confess it and move forward. The Apostle Paul wrote, “forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 3:13-14). Paul could have had many regrets. He’d persecuted the Church, thrown believers into prison. He’d watched and approved when the Jews stoned Stephen. But Paul didn’t dwell on his past sins. He “forgot” the past. It doesn’t mean he didn’t remember his sins. It means he intentionally didn’t focus on them, but focused on the prize, putting his energies into pursuing Christ. We must set aside the past and focus on the present and future of honoring Christ, making our lives count from this day forward.

  Thank God that He causes all things, even our worst failures, to work together for good! It’s beyond our comprehension, yet our Sovereign God causes all things, even our sins, to work for good. That doesn’t mean we should sin intentionally. It does mean when we’re tempted to fall into the pit of regret, turn it to praise, “Father I praise you that by Your infinite power and wisdom, You cause even my failures to work for good.”

  Let your failures keep you humble. Our regrets help us be humble. We can’t look down on someone because we ourselves have sinned in countless ways. Past failures remind us that we’re all capable of the most vile debauchery apart from God’s grace. Because we know we’re susceptible to temptation, we must pray regularly for God to deliver us.

  Our Heavenly Father wants to build on our regrets, turning them into trophies for His glory. We must determine to focus and press forward for the goal of the prize of the upward call of God. Tomorrow is gone. Learn from it and invest in today and tomorrow. So, will you do that? 

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.