There are no orphans of God

 

“There are no strangers
There are no outcasts

There are no orphans of God

So many fallen, but hallelujah

There are no orphans of God.”  Avalon

 

In twelve months between 2007 and 2008, Christopher Buckley coped with the passing of his father, William F. Buckley, father of the modern conservative movement, and his mother, Patricia Taylor Buckley, one of New York's most glamorous and colorful socialites. Christopher was their only child and their relationship was close and complicated. As he tells the story of their final year together in his book, Losing Mum and Pup, one thought particularly struck me after the loss of both. He shares the heartbreaking and disorienting feeling of becoming a 55-year-old orphan.  By Buckley’s definition, many of us are also “orphans.”
  The holidays bring back the hurt and memory of those losses. Personally, I shake my head at those who flippantly say, “you’ll get over it.” The pain may grow dull, yet it’s still there and always will be. Yet, one of the great soul medicines for the child of God is the simple biblical reality – I am a child of God. If you have been born-again, you have a Heavenly Father that you can never lose and you will never be an orphan in the family of God.
  Old Testament Jews didn’t know God as Father. God as our Father is a wonderful New Testament reality that’s only made possible because God’s Son, Jesus paid our sin debt and we’re now “adopted” into God’s forever family. As we move into the holidays, let’s walk through the rich blessings that believers have now that God is our Father. They’re some of the most encouraging truths in God’s Word.

  He’s not just my Father, He’s Daddy. The word Abba is an Aramaic word that means “Father.” It was a common term that expressed affection, confidence, and trust. Abba signifies the close, intimate relationship of a father and child, as well as the childlike trust that a young child puts in his or her “daddy.” Being an adopted child of God is the source of great hope and security. Our holy and righteous God, who created and sustains all things, who is all-powerful, all-knowing, and ever-present, gives us the privilege of calling Him “Daddy” or Papa.” What an awesome privilege! What amazing grace that God would love us so much!
  In a world of fragmented families, it brings healing. God has designed us so that a child needs a father. Yet in our broken world, many either don’t have one, or their biological one is abusive or absent. Knowing that we have God as our Father and that He will always be there and never mistreat us or walk out on us, brings healing. We are secure in the love of our Abba Father for all of eternity.
  Our Heavenly Father is always available. God never has a packed calendar. He is always there and always available at any and every moment! He’s never too busy or preoccupied. He never gets tired or sleeps. He never even takes a nap. He is constantly watching over us. Our Heavenly Father is accessible at any moment, 24/7, 365 days a year. Prayer is our direct line to God and He never puts us on hold.
  We never have to earn our Heavenly Father’s love. Perhaps you felt that you had to earn a parent’s love and respect by accomplishing great things to make them accept you or be proud of you. Our Heavenly Father is not like that. Romans 5:8 tells us that “God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” In other words, even when we were a mess, although we still blow it, though we will never measure up and are oblivious to Him and His love, God the Father sent His Son to die for us. It’s unconditional, sacrificial love. It’s unlike anything we will experience on this earth. God is a Father who chooses to love us and we didn’t do a thing to earn it, but mess up!
  Our Heavenly Father is always approachable. Our Heavenly Father is never in a bad mood. He is never too tired, too busy or too distracted for His children. When you’re in a relationship with His Son, Jesus, you have total access to your Father’s ear, His heart, and focused attention. Hebrews 4:16 says that we can “draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” 
  Our Heavenly Father will never write us off or walk out on us. If you are His child, there is not anything that you can do – nothing evil or bad enough – to make Him stop loving you. Since there was nothing you could ever do to earn your Father’s love, there is nothing you can ever do to lose it. As Romans 8:38-39 says, “Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” In other words, no circumstance, seen or unseen power, person, action, or inaction on your part can separate you from God’s love. That’s powerful. It's also a promise that only our Heavenly Father has the power to fulfill.
  Every person on this earth who claims to love you and never leave you will still be separated from you (at least temporarily) through their death or yours. God’s Word promises that even in death there will be no separation from our Father’s love – ever.
  Our Heavenly Father knows everything about us and still chose to love us. We will never surprise our Heavenly Father. He knows things about us that no one else knows. He knows us intimately. To be safe and known intimately is one of our deepest needs. Sometimes we hide who we really are because of fear of rejection or because someone may lose interest in us when they discover who we really are. Yet, the Bible says that our Heavenly Father already knows it all and still loves us and always will!
  In this world, we may be orphans but when we’re part of God’s family, we have a Heavenly Father we can never lose and He will never lose us! 

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

A Parent''s Greatest Loss

“When your child dies, you find your life is forever divided into ‘Before’ and ‘After’.”   Wayne Loder

  In his book, Losing Mum and Pup, about his grief and coping with the deaths of his parents, Christopher Buckley shares a powerful story:

  “In the Zen koan, the noble lord sends word throughout the land, offering a huge reward to anyone who distills for him in poetry the definition of happiness…A monk duly shuffled in and handed the nobleman a poem that read, in its entirety: 

Grandfather dies

Father dies

Son dies.

  His Lordship, having had in his mind something a bit more upbeat, unsheathes his sword and is about to lop off the head of the impertinent divine. The monk says, “This is the definition of perfect happiness—that no father should outlive his son.” At this, His Lordship nods—or, more probably, after the fashion of Kurosawa’s sixteenth-century warlords, grunts emphatically—and hands the monk a sack of gold.”

  That monk was a very wise man. No one would ever want it another way. One of the worst things that can happen to a human being is to deviate from that order. Father dies, son dies, grandson dies. No parent wants to outlive their children. No grandparent wants to outlive their grandchildren.

  That story came to my mind the other night when I heard that Bobbi Kristina Brown had died. She was only 22. What a tragic end! Her death came nearly six months after she was found unresponsive in a bathtub in her Georgia home. She never fully regained consciousness and was kept on life support following her near-drowning. The media reported that her father, Bobby Brown, was inconsolable and maintained a bedside vigil following her hospitalization. 

  Over the years I’ve buried far too many children whose brokenhearted parents stood by a fresh grave. My own grandparents, tragically, buried their youngest son, Harold Carson, a few years before they passed away. I can’t imagine that there is a deeper heart wound than the loss of your child.

  Even success, fame and wealth can’t buffer you from the pain of tragic loss. We attempt to protect ourselves and our loved ones from pain and tragedy. It can’t be done. Bobbi Kristina was reportedly worth some $20 million dollars, as the only heir of her famous mother, Whitney Houston. Yet, even having millions of dollars couldn’t protect her from a broken heart after the loss of her mother. Though the coroner’s report has not yet been released, it appears that her death was a suicide.

  Her tragic life and death is one that’s all too common. The list of the rich and famous who struggle with heartache, addictions, broken relationships, that can’t find peace or happiness and those who ultimately take their own lives is a very long list. Somehow too many of us believe that we’ll be the exception. We’re so naïve. We won’t be. Wealth, success and fame will never fill that, as Pascal described it, the God-shaped hole in our soul. Though we know that, yet so many of us fret, complain or are exasperated about our lot in life, primarily our financial situation. We sacrifice God’s promised peace for that which the Bible says will never satisfy. It was probably modeled for us by our parents and we, too, often are modeling that discontent and hopeless cycle Jesus warned us of in Matthew 6:25-33 to the next generation.

  Seek to live with very few relational regrets. I wish that I could say that I didn’t have any, but I do. I doubt there’s anyone who doesn’t this side of eternity. For some reason, I was never able to solve the relationship void with my Dad. His death meant that it would never be resolved. That still weighs on me, even several years after his death.

  Too often we stomp out, leaving our loved ones in a huff with harsh words. No one knew that January 31, 2015 would be the last day Bobbi Kristina would be conscious, full alive and able to converse. After she was discovered, she never regained consciousness. Maybe that’s why the Bible warns us, “do not let the sun go down on your anger” (Ephesians 4:26).

  That doesn’t mean that we’ve agreed or that everything is resolved. It does mean though that we’ve left without being in a state of anger, where our last words – if they truly become our very last words – are not regrettable ones.

  Some nurse anger until it becomes a root of bitterness that’s planted itself deep into the soul (Hebrews 12:15), poisoning life. Because of some past event, or because of what someone said to you or about you, perhaps because you didn’t get your way at some point, your feelings were hurt, or you were emotionally injured. You’re angry though and nurse thoughts of revenge. You’re hurt and want them to hurt. Maybe you’re offended, so you give them the cold shoulder, or purposely go out of your way to avoid having to speak to them. And while you think that you’re hurting them, in reality, you’re only hurting yourself. You’ve become so caught up in how hurt, angry and offended you are, that you’ve forgotten how fragile life is.

  You never saw it coming. All of a sudden that sibling, parent, child or spouse who you were so wounded with, so angry at is gone…forever. And now the broken relationship can never be mended. That’s why often the ones who are so inconsolable at the death of a loved one are the ones with the greatest guilt and regret. 

  While we can’t make others change or admit that they’re wrong, we can take care of our own wrongs and bitter feelings. There’s true freedom in living in Romans 12:18, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” It means that you have a clear conscience and know that you’ve done everything you can to clear the slate and rebuild the relationship. Too many come to a loved one’s graveside overwhelmed with guilt and regret. But because of God’s amazing grace, we don’t have to. 

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