“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”
Robert
Frost
Poetry
has fallen into disuse in the last few decades. Many are not familiar with the
powerful poetic words of poets like Alfred Lord Tennyson or Henry Wordsworth
Longfellow. Probably the last popular American poet was Robert Frost. It’s amazing
though the influence that our spouse has on us. That was certainly the case with
Robert Frost.
While Frost presented himself publicly as a crusty farmer-poet, there was a reason his friends privately called him “Yahweh.” It seems that Frost was “a jealous god who brooked no rivals.”
His friends were very worried when Frost agreed to attend a famous writer’s conference. Yet if anyone could control his prima donna attitude, it was his wife, Elinor, but five months before the conference she had died unexpectedly. Without his wife of forty-three years there to restrain him, Frost could be mean and vicious. At the conference he was so mean as Archibald MacLeish read his poetry, that Frost’s friend, Bernard Devoto rebuked him with, “You’re a good poet, Robert, but you’re a bad man.”
So, is your spouse a better Christian because of you, or are holding them back spiritually? Over the years I’ve met some godly couples who as a team encouraged each other spiritually and served the Lord together. Every church has them. They’re such a joy to be around. It’s obvious that they are on the same page spiritually. They love and motivate each other toward Christlikeness, and they inspire others.
The Apostle Paul commends a couple like that who helped his ministry: Priscilla and Aquila. He called them “my helpers” in Romans 16:3. What a marvelous title to be given! There was only a select group of people in the New Testament whom Paul referred to as his helpers or fellow workers. They included individuals like Timothy, Titus, Ephaphroditus, Clement, Tychicus, Onesimus, and many others. This group was a special help and encouragement to Paul during his ministry. That gives us a good idea how committed Aquila and Priscilla were in God’s service. They model for us a couple totally dedicated to God and the advancement of His kingdom.
Yet, it’s never recorded that Aquila ever preached a sermon. There’s no evidence that he was ordained or in some kind of vocational ministry or even that either of them had any official church position. But they were a wonderful blessing to the churches of God because they gave themselves fully to God to be used for His glory in the churches, they served in.
Jesus commanded us to share the gospel and make disciples. Priscilla and Aquila took that seriously. They mentored a young believer who God later greatly used, Apollos. Apparently, Apollos had been saved under the Old Testament system, but was lacking in his understanding of the full work of Christ on the Cross and the work of the Holy Spirit in the lives of believers.
This godly couple realized that Apollo needed more grounding and further discipleship. They didn’t leave discipleship to the professionals. They took it upon themselves, as a couple, to take Apollos under their wing to teach and train and disciple him in the things of God. God has called every believer to do what they did. Just as someone probably took the time to mentor you spiritually, God has commanded you to commit yourself to helping others, particularly young believers, to grow in Christ.
1 Peter 4:9 commands believers “Show hospitality to one another.” It’s very important to understand that this is not entertaining or having to impress others with your possessions. Instead, it’s simply opening your door and sharing what God has given you.
We see Aquila and Priscilla’s love for the Lord in having others in their home, simple as it may have been. This willingness to use their possessions to serve the Lord advanced the cause of Christ. A couple letting others into their personal space has a great influence, not because the house is the stuff of Martha Stewart or white glove clean or even because their marriage or children are perfect. It’s seeing God work through us in the midst of life that makes a difference for the Kingdom.
What if your spouse is an unbeliever or apathetic spiritually? Frequently, that’s the case. Even in the church it’s rare to find a Christian couple serving the Lord together. An unsaved or more often, a spiritually disinterested spouse, is an encumbrance on a spouse who is on fire for the Lord and wants to generously serve Him. It’s why some believers hesitate to serve in a ministry. To them, it’s not worth the grief they might receive from their mate.
One of the greatest heroes in the Church in America was John Wesley, the founder of the Methodist Church. But he married unhappily to a wealthy widow when he was 48. His wife would come to hear him preach and mock him. She falsely accused him of adultery and even physically abused him when he returned home on one occasion, dragging him across the room by a handful of his hair.
Wesley was known to keep up frequently with his journal entries. He only made one entry in regard to his marriage reporting after she finally left him, “I did not forsake her, I did not dismiss her, I will not recall her.” None of that stopped John Wesley from faithfully serving the Lord.
We can’t control our spouse, yet we can’t use our mate as an excuse for not faithfully serving the Lord. We never want to be an obstacle in them either coming to Christ or growing in their own spiritual walk. That means that we don’t complain to others about the burden we carry to others but faithfully pray for them, and we might need another believer who will keep confidence who will pray with and for us and encourage us. Yet, we must seek to do what we can. Often this may mean a kind conversation about your desire to serve the Lord more without pressuring your spouse. Most people are reasonable when given the opportunity to be.
Our churches desperately need more Priscillas and Aquilas. Will you and your spouse be one? Are you encouraging your spouse to love and serve Jesus more? Are they closer to Jesus because of your influence?
While Frost presented himself publicly as a crusty farmer-poet, there was a reason his friends privately called him “Yahweh.” It seems that Frost was “a jealous god who brooked no rivals.”
His friends were very worried when Frost agreed to attend a famous writer’s conference. Yet if anyone could control his prima donna attitude, it was his wife, Elinor, but five months before the conference she had died unexpectedly. Without his wife of forty-three years there to restrain him, Frost could be mean and vicious. At the conference he was so mean as Archibald MacLeish read his poetry, that Frost’s friend, Bernard Devoto rebuked him with, “You’re a good poet, Robert, but you’re a bad man.”
So, is your spouse a better Christian because of you, or are holding them back spiritually? Over the years I’ve met some godly couples who as a team encouraged each other spiritually and served the Lord together. Every church has them. They’re such a joy to be around. It’s obvious that they are on the same page spiritually. They love and motivate each other toward Christlikeness, and they inspire others.
The Apostle Paul commends a couple like that who helped his ministry: Priscilla and Aquila. He called them “my helpers” in Romans 16:3. What a marvelous title to be given! There was only a select group of people in the New Testament whom Paul referred to as his helpers or fellow workers. They included individuals like Timothy, Titus, Ephaphroditus, Clement, Tychicus, Onesimus, and many others. This group was a special help and encouragement to Paul during his ministry. That gives us a good idea how committed Aquila and Priscilla were in God’s service. They model for us a couple totally dedicated to God and the advancement of His kingdom.
Yet, it’s never recorded that Aquila ever preached a sermon. There’s no evidence that he was ordained or in some kind of vocational ministry or even that either of them had any official church position. But they were a wonderful blessing to the churches of God because they gave themselves fully to God to be used for His glory in the churches, they served in.
Jesus commanded us to share the gospel and make disciples. Priscilla and Aquila took that seriously. They mentored a young believer who God later greatly used, Apollos. Apparently, Apollos had been saved under the Old Testament system, but was lacking in his understanding of the full work of Christ on the Cross and the work of the Holy Spirit in the lives of believers.
This godly couple realized that Apollo needed more grounding and further discipleship. They didn’t leave discipleship to the professionals. They took it upon themselves, as a couple, to take Apollos under their wing to teach and train and disciple him in the things of God. God has called every believer to do what they did. Just as someone probably took the time to mentor you spiritually, God has commanded you to commit yourself to helping others, particularly young believers, to grow in Christ.
1 Peter 4:9 commands believers “Show hospitality to one another.” It’s very important to understand that this is not entertaining or having to impress others with your possessions. Instead, it’s simply opening your door and sharing what God has given you.
We see Aquila and Priscilla’s love for the Lord in having others in their home, simple as it may have been. This willingness to use their possessions to serve the Lord advanced the cause of Christ. A couple letting others into their personal space has a great influence, not because the house is the stuff of Martha Stewart or white glove clean or even because their marriage or children are perfect. It’s seeing God work through us in the midst of life that makes a difference for the Kingdom.
What if your spouse is an unbeliever or apathetic spiritually? Frequently, that’s the case. Even in the church it’s rare to find a Christian couple serving the Lord together. An unsaved or more often, a spiritually disinterested spouse, is an encumbrance on a spouse who is on fire for the Lord and wants to generously serve Him. It’s why some believers hesitate to serve in a ministry. To them, it’s not worth the grief they might receive from their mate.
One of the greatest heroes in the Church in America was John Wesley, the founder of the Methodist Church. But he married unhappily to a wealthy widow when he was 48. His wife would come to hear him preach and mock him. She falsely accused him of adultery and even physically abused him when he returned home on one occasion, dragging him across the room by a handful of his hair.
Wesley was known to keep up frequently with his journal entries. He only made one entry in regard to his marriage reporting after she finally left him, “I did not forsake her, I did not dismiss her, I will not recall her.” None of that stopped John Wesley from faithfully serving the Lord.
We can’t control our spouse, yet we can’t use our mate as an excuse for not faithfully serving the Lord. We never want to be an obstacle in them either coming to Christ or growing in their own spiritual walk. That means that we don’t complain to others about the burden we carry to others but faithfully pray for them, and we might need another believer who will keep confidence who will pray with and for us and encourage us. Yet, we must seek to do what we can. Often this may mean a kind conversation about your desire to serve the Lord more without pressuring your spouse. Most people are reasonable when given the opportunity to be.
Our churches desperately need more Priscillas and Aquilas. Will you and your spouse be one? Are you encouraging your spouse to love and serve Jesus more? Are they closer to Jesus because of your influence?
Can
we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web
page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more
about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus
changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org
to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.
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