I'm Offended!!

 

“People who wish to be offended 

will always find some occasion for taking offense.”  John Wesley

 It seems every day someone or some group is reported to be offended. Inadvertently someone says something or violates a new cultural faux pas and finds themselves engulfed by an inferno of micro-aggressions. 

  For example, recently I read that the color of park ranger uniforms is considered racist, at least by one group. This will probably be offensive to someone yet I find myself rolling my eyes at such absurdity. Yet, it’s not only the cultural elite who can be thin-skinned. Too often it’s us – Christians, who are needlessly offended. Recently, I found myself rolling my eyes at a well-meaning Christian who got their nose out of joint.

  The World and Everything in It podcast carried a story about poet, Ann Porter, who wasn’t published until very late in life when she was in her eighties. It was a great story of someone in their twilight years that persevered and used their talent and was published. BUT one listener was offended that the story focused on her age and not that Porter was also a wife and mother. They felt motherhood was dissed because the story failed to mention it. This listener e-mailed:

  “I am a stay-at-home mom homeschooling or doing distance ed with my children, I feel even more discouraged when I hear a philosophical statement that implies that this lady poet didn’t find or fulfill her calling until she got her poems published in her 80s. What does that say about what I’m investing my life in?”

  Executive producer, Paul Butler, graciously responded: “We did not intend in any way to suggest that Ann Porter had missed her calling until she was 80 years old. Or that being a poet was somehow more important than being a parent. What we intended to communicate was that even at 80 years old, when our society tends to push our seniors to the margins and silence them, God still had work for her to do.” Butler answered well. I’d have been tempted to not be so gracious. The bottom line is that those who want to be easily offended probably will be.

  My good friend and fellow pastor, Vic Koshir, like most leaders would find himself periodically caught in the crosshairs of offending someone. Vic cynically concluded: “If there is no possible way that anyone could possibly be offended, be assured that someone will be.” And while there are things that are offensive, too many of us in the Church are oversensitive and too easily offended. As believers who have been forgiven so much and shown so much grace, we should be those who are not easily offended.

  The core reason a believer is easily offended is that they don’t truly understand grace. Scripture is so lucid – those who know how much that they have been forgiven, forgive much. It’s difficult to say that you know Jesus as your Savior when you do not forgive and act graciously as He did.  

  The soft spot for most of us, like that offended Mom, is our pride. Most of us have a list of heinous sins. Pride should yet rarely makes our list.

  As we move into the holiday season, bygone family wounds have a way of resurfacing. Many of us will be in close proximity to those who know our often not-so-wonderful history. Tales of adolescent buffoonery often are reshared for the enjoyment of all, except the “victim.” Things will be said that if a coworker or friend said the same, would be overlooked. Yet, because it’s a family member and because there are often other unresolved issues, it becomes a conflict even the United Nations couldn’t fix.

  So how can work to not be easily offended?

  Start with not being offensive. If something doesn’t need to be said or pointed out, it shouldn’t be. The world won’t grind to a halt if the gravy is lumpy or the pumpkin pie is cracked. If things don’t start on time or someone is tardy, it’s not a crisis. And please don’t parent someone else’s child, even if it’s your grandchild. Unless something is going to be broken or someone will be injured, silence is golden. Politics are appetite-killer subjects, even if everyone agrees.

  Allow most of life to be indifferent to you. Someone’s bad mood isn’t about you. Someone’s off-color humor is better ignored. If you’re overlooked or neglected, it isn’t even about you. It’s about them. This way, less in life will offend you and your joy will be much less fleeting too. After all, others are entitled to their opinion. So let them have it cheerfully yet choose to not let them have your opinion.

  Be the grateful, affirming one. Be thankful you were invited. Even if it’s your parent's home, once you’re an adult they don’t owe you anything. Remember that someone took the time and money to make the preparations, so thank them. Notice the seemingly little things like decorations or how the table is set. Someone had to go out and purchase the turkey and make the menu items. It may have been very intimidating for them. They may not feel that they are a proficient cook.

  Determine to be a person of praise and encouragement. Ours is a negative culture that’s quick to point out fault, yet slow to affirm. As believers, we’re to be different. Be the one that everyone is glad is there!

  Be Jesus. A verse that I pray often that God will make true in my life is Philippians 1:21, “For to me to live is Christ…” Yet I must confess that too often, “For to me to live is Scott” is the outcome. Yet, when Jesus rescued me from my sin, He made me His ambassador (2 Corinthians 5:20). I want to represent Him well. I’m dependent on His power and grace to accomplish that. Thankfully it’s readily available to every believer.

  So this season (really all of the year) be Jesus! Be a person of generous grace! Overlook most of what’s not worth being noticed and certainly not worth being offended over. You and I have been forgiven so much and shown so much undeserved grace. Let’s share that grace we’ve been given!

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address