Helping the Hurting

“True compassion is when you are the one who bears the burden and pays the price.”  J. Budziszewski

He was self-described as a “plodder.” William Carey is known as the father of modern missions. Once he said of himself: “If He [God] give me credit for being a plodder He will describe me justly. Anything beyond that will be too much. I can plod. I can persevere in any definite pursuit. To this I owe everything.” It’s hard for us to fathom that there was great resistance to evangelizing the world in the Church in the 1790’s. In spite of extreme opposition William Carey persevered and finally overcame the resistance to missionary effort and sailed for India where God greatly used him. What most don’t know is that he carried a heavy burden for much of his ministry.

  After losing their 5-year-old son, his wife, Dorothy, with her great grief, combined with physical ailments went over the brink of despair. She was considered insane and suffered from delusions. Sometimes she’d follow her husband into the streets berating him; other times she’d attack him physically. As the years passed, her condition worsened to the point that Carey confined her in a locked room. He worked on translating the Bible into local dialects in India during which according to an observer, “while an insane wife, frequently wrought up to a state of most distressing excitement, was in the next room.”

  John Wesley, the renowned preacher and evangelist, was a leader of a revival movement within the Church of England and is the founder of the Methodist Church, yet he suffered through a horrible marriage. His wife, Molly, grew very antagonistic of him, wrote critical letters and spied on him. She falsely accused him of adultery and gave his enemies material with which to slander him. A friend once entered a room unannounced to find her dragging Wesley across the floor by his hair. After years of conflict, Molly finally left him to never return. In 1771, John Wesley famously wrote in his journal of her in his only comment on his marriage: “I did not forsake her, I did not dismiss her, I will not recall her.”

  King David and Elijah wrestled with depression. The prophet Jonah had anger issues. Martin Luther and Charles Spurgeon, along with countless other believers have struggled with mental health issues.  

  All of this recently came to mind as a friend in the ministry recently shared with me that he’d given his church a glimpse into some of the struggles he and his wife had with one of their children. It was a very dark time from some years ago. Though it was so grievous for them, most of those in his church had no idea of the terrible suffering they’d endured.

  Often you’ll find that’s the case. Those who appear to have it all together, carry heavy burdens no one else is aware of. 

  But God never intended for us to carry our heartaches alone. Galatians 6:2 commands us, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” The truth is that none us have our act together. Not even the ones who seem to have such well-ordered lives. There are heartaches in every home and heart. We all struggle with heavy loads either from our own depravity or those inherent in a sin contaminated world.

  The picture in Galatians 6:2 is of a man staggering beneath a heavy load of grain. He must somehow get this grain home to his family, but is about to crumble beneath the heavy weight. A brother sees his distress and rushes to his aid, lifting a part of the burden and thereby easing the weight. Although the supportive friend doesn’t assume the whole load, his help allows the struggling one to carry it on to his destination. It’s what we’re commanded to do for each other. And it’s not optional, it’s a command. It’s what our Savior has and continues to do for us. Burden carrying is not just for those in leadership. Because of the cross we’re all family, sisters and brothers. We are all to come and help each other on our journey Home.  

  It will not happen without time together. You’ve probably had this experience. You’re in an urban area and a stranger approaches you and asks for some change. Or, you’re driving down the road, come to an intersection and someone is holding a sign, asking for money.

  Such obvious cries for help rarely happen in the church. Why? It’s difficult to admit to others, though we all have them, that we have a need. We’re quicker to ask for prayer for an illness, but even there many hesitate.

  It’s because trust takes time. You must spend time with someone before you start peeling back the masks, revealing chinks in your armor. You have to believe that someone is safe, that they won’t be judgmental or condescending if you share a struggle. 

  We need to first talk to the right Person after someone shares with us. We tend to be quick to offer advice. Most of us are far less knowledgeable than we think we are. The greatest needs someone has when they’ve shared a piece of their heart with us is not our words, it’s our prayer support. We don’t know all the variables, yet our Heavenly Father does. He knows exactly what’s going on, what He’s doing, and has a purpose and plan. We need to first carry their burden to Him before we attempt to help them.

  The greatest need someone has when they share a burden is for us to listen. Silence can be a wonderful precious gift, yet frequently it’s too rare. Job’s friends were the most helpful to him when they sat silently listening to him as he shared his pain. There’s nothing wrong with admitting that you don’t have any answers. The greatest need is frequently someone to actually listen so we can share our pain. We need to “know” what the Apostle James urges us to “know,” “know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak” (James 1:19).

  We must recognize the vast difference between temporary human opinion and God’s eternal wisdom. One would never know listening to some pontificate that there’s not a moral “ought” when it comes to matters like education, vaccines, organic or non-organic foods, or whether to put noodles in chili. The Bible is clear about problem-solving, love, kindness, and being Spirit controlled. It’s not wrong to have strong opinions but we must be discerning and know what is “opinion” and what is God’s Truth!

  God created us for community. A vital part of that is caring for each other. Are you caring for others? Are you letting others care for you?

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.