Your Famous Last Words

"The greatest legacy one can pass on to one's children and grandchildren is not money or other material things accumulated in one's life, but rather a legacy of character and faith."  Billy Graham

  Most people, when they know they’re going to have a baby begin making plans. They choose a doctor, learn about the hospital, birthing rooms, etc. They prepare the room for their new arrival, purchase a car seat, stroller and a myriad of items to prepare for their new baby.

  Most people do that for weddings. It’s a rare couple who goes to the Justice of the Peace. They plan and prepare for months from wedding attire to the location of the wedding to the reception. They plan for the minister (just a sidebar, please talk to the minister before you choose your date J), ceremony, flowers, invitations, the ever exasperating guest list, etc.

  It seems that the only major life event most fail to prepare for is our own death and funeral. Unfortunately, too many are plagued by the wrong critical question, whether we’re young or old. The question is not “if” we die, but “when” we die. There’s a macabre blitheness about the two certainties of life—death and taxes. Some manage to evade taxes. The only way anyone can possibly avoid death is to be a believer and remain alive until the return of Jesus Christ.

  Most ask the wrong question about death. We wonder where we will die, or when we will die. Our primary concern, from God’s perspective, should be how we will die. It’s the question that determines our eternal destiny and the Bible has a lot to say about how we die. From a biblical standpoint, there are only two possible ways of dying. Scripture skips over the various causes of death. It matters little how you die, whether from cancer, a heart attack, car accident, murder or from a host of other mortal causes. Though the cause of one’s biological death absorbs our attention, it’s not a concern in Scripture. When the Bible talks about the how of death, the focus is on the spiritual state of the person at the time of his or her death. The “how” of death is reduced to just two options: We either die in faith or die in our sins. Jesus warned, “I told you that you would die in your sins, for unless you believe that I am He you will die in your sins” (John 8:24).

  We foolishly think the worst thing that can happen to someone is to die. That’s wrong! It’s not the message of the Bible or Jesus. The worst thing that can happen to any of us is to die in our sins. God sent Jesus so that we could instead die in faith, forgiven because we have trusted in His sacrifice for us on the Cross. That’s the continual theme of Scripture and the message encapsulated in John 3:16.

  If we have the assurance based on God’s Word that we are dying “in faith,” we should want our death to be our last opportunity to share with those we love, how they too can die “in faith.” Like the birth of a baby or a wedding, it requires planning. Because we don’t have a “due date,” we tend to procrastinate. While I know this and I know that death can come unexpectedly, I realized that Jane and I needed to do this, too.

  So after answering the most important question, are you “in faith,” another vital question is what you will leave behind? What kind of legacy are you leaving? If you don’t plan and leave some instructions about your wishes, your last message may be very far from what you would have wanted. If you’re a believer, this is the last opportunity you’ll have to share your faith and speak “from the grave.” Too often, even those who know that they’re dying of a terminal disease, fail to plan and share their wishes. Their loved ones are left to guess, often with great amounts of angst and guilt. Let me share some suggestions of how to handle this in a better way.

  First, be careful that you’re not glib about your true desires. Because the cost of a funeral can be high, many will joke, “Just throw me in a hole” or “have me cremated.” Because they never took the time to spell out their true wishes, the family doesn’t want to dishonor them but is not sure on whether they were serious or not.

  Second, write out your own testimony and salvation experience. These are your last words. It’s your last time to share with your loved ones how you know that you’re forgiven by God and have eternal life. While it could be read at your funeral, I’d suggest having it printed in the funeral bulletin. Many friends will come for the visitation but because of work or other conflicts will be unable to attend your funeral.

  Third, if you have favorite songs or a passage of Scripture, write it out. Take some time and pre-plan your own memorial service. This will be a real blessing for your loved ones. If there’s friction and division, having your wishes spelled out helps your Homegoing not be a source of further division. Then, with I-pods and technology, while it may not be possible to have a live musician perform it, your favorite music can still be shared. Over the years, I’ve seen many families of believers struggling with what music would honor their loved one.

  Fourth, be wise. While you may be glib about your death, you’re loved ones will grieve. This is your last opportunity to share hope and comfort them even from the grave.

  Because most of us have never worked through this or even given it much thought, you’ll find a couple of forms on the back table today on funerals and eulogies that will hopefully give you some guidance.

  One last concern that’s related to remembering and honoring those we love. Last week the Burlington Rotary Club honored one of our hometown heroes, Jack Berry, with their annual Humanitarian Award. I was so pleased that they honored him and shared their appreciation!

  Over the years at funerals it’s greatly troubled me that too often the one who should be hearing all of those kind words is no longer there. If you have a loved one or friend who’s touched your life, please tell them now how much you appreciate them and how they’ve touched your life. Also, without going to great expense, particularly with those up in years, why not have a “memorial service” for them while they’re still here. A milestone birthday or anniversary is a great occasion for that. It doesn’t have to be big production, yet giving friends and family the opportunity to write out or publically share memories is a wonderful way to honor someone.

  In my opinion, we would all do well for our own hearts and for those we love if we would make it a point to share our gratitude and honor them this side of eternity. What an opportunity, too, for our children and grandchildren to learn of the legacy that has been entrusted to them.