The Big Power of Little Things

 

“It’s the little details that are vital. 

Little things make big things happen.”  John Wooden

 
I thought that the caption of the story should have been, “That’s the night that the lights went out in Toronto.” On the evening of February 1^st, about 7,000 customers in the city’s downtown lost power for more than two hours after a raccoon made contact with a transformer at a transmission station. I guess “made contact” is polite way of saying “roast racoon.”
  One raccoon – 7,000 people without power. Players had to leave mid-game in local dodgeball games when the power went out. Others were trapped in elevators mid-journey. Little things make a big difference.
  John Wooden, one of the greatest basketball coaches of all time, believed in the importance of the little things. He won ten NCAA national championships in a 12-year period as head coach for UCLA.
  Do you know the first lesson that this great coach taught his new freshmen recruits? How to tie their shoes. They’d be ready to roll all day that first time out. Just before the start, always at 3:30 p.m. sharp, Coach Wooden called all the freshmen together and walked them into the locker room. There, he sat down on a stool and began his lecture. They’d sit there ready to soak it all up, knowing that he was about to give them the keys to greatness, show the path to becoming the next great team in history. Wooden’s first words were, “Men, this is how you put your shoes and socks on.” John Wooden won by teaching his players to focus on the little things first. Think about how the little things make a big difference.
  Smile. Remember how much we lost with masks? You had to try to find smiling eyes. A simple smile can change a person’s day.
  A smile is a powerful thing, especially when offered with love, kindness, and acceptance. When you walk into a store, would you rather see a smile or a scowl? Do you want a grumpy server or a cheerful one? When you come home, do you want to be greeted by a smile or a frown?
  Did you know that you can hear a smile? When someone answers a phone, you can tell whether they’re smiling. A smile changes your voice.
  If anyone should be smiling, shouldn’t it be Christ-followers? Aren’t we to be the people of joy? We know that we’re loved with an unconditional love. We’ve been forgiven of a debt we could never pay. We’re never alone. And the worst hell of this world is temporary, but Home with Jesus is forever. Are you a Christ-follower? Does your face show it?
  Tables. Traffic in drive-thrus rose 30% from 2019 to 2022, according to foodservice research firm Technomic. Drive-thrus now account for two-thirds of all fast-food purchases. Overall, 60% of Americans admit to eating while driving on a semi-regular basis, with 7% of the nation chowing down while driving every single day.
  Though it’s not always possible to have a homecooked meal, think though how much we lose by eating on the run instead of sitting at a table together. Sitting at a table and engaging with each other makes a big difference. It means that the smart phones are put away so we can focus.   
  Read the New Testament and you’ll see a powerful pattern of people getting to know each other, drawing closer together as they ate a meal together. It doesn’t have to be fancy. It could be ice cream. It’s gathering around a small table that makes a big difference.
  Names. The Bible tells us that God knows our name. Knowing someone’s name, really knowing them, says that you care, especially if it’s unusual and you work to pronounce or spell it correctly. Most parents struggle with naming a child with the right name. Knowing someone’s name begins to slowly pull back the layers and increase intimacy. It lets us know them for who they are. There’s power in being known and accepted.
  Names remind us of our humanity. The government may only know us by a string of numbers, but a loving God designed each of us individually. It’s why it’s important when we’re in a store or restaurant to call the person serving us by their name. They’re not some anatomical robot – they’re Imago Dei. Not only did He design them, He loved them and gave His Son to die for them. He knows their name, shouldn’t we?
  300 seconds. That’s five minutes. If you were eating your favorite meal, say lobster or a T-bone steak, do you want to wolf it down? Or would you rather chew and salivate every bite? If you’re out with good friends and you’re all laughing and just enjoying each other, do you find yourself finally noticing the time and asking, “where did the time go?” If you’re going to see a movie that you’ve been dying to see, do you arrive five minutes early or five minutes late? What about if it’s your favorite team? When you’re at the doctor’s office and you’re concerned, do you want him to deal with you like you’re in a drive-thru? Or do you want him to take his time and find out what’s really wrong with you?
  Five minutes early or five minutes late? On Sundays when we’re seeing our brothers and sisters for the only time during the week, when it’s the only time we can touch each other’s lives and have ours touched, do we really want to rush in and out? What does that say about our understanding of Scripture of spiritual family and the value of our brothers and sisters? Do we have five minutes for that single sitting alone or that parent who brought their children by themselves? Do we have five minutes for that new person, who’s nervous because they may never have been in church before or not a for a long time? Do we really believe that it’s the pastor’s job, not our responsibility? Do we really want to run over others because we need those five minutes, we just have so much to do? What if you knew it would be the last time, you’d see that person…because it could be? Most of us long for five more minutes with a loved one that’s now gone. Five minutes, just 300 seconds – it can be a lot in someone’s life.
  Jesus said, “If you had faith like a grain of mustard seed…” (Luke 17:6). That’s so small but what a difference! Little things can be huge!

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Church Family: Dancing in the Minefields

 “And we went dancing in the minefields
We went sailing in the storms
And it was harder than we dreamed

But I believe that's what the promise is for.” 

                                                                               Andrew Peterson

 As a married couple do you have a song? Did you play it on Valentine’s Day? For Jane and me, it’s always been Could I have this dance for the rest of my life? by Anne Murray.
  When I conduct a wedding, it’s interesting to learn what song the couple feels is a picture of their love for their special day. Often, it’s a recent popular love song about the positive, romantic side of love. Yet, there’s another side of marriage, the dark side. During pre-marital counseling, I include sessions on how to fight a clean fight or working through differences over sex or finances. Frequently, I get starry eyed looks of, “we don’t need this, we won’t have those conflicts” staring back at me.  

  Maybe that’s why I appreciate Andrew Peterson’s song Dancing in the Minefields. It’s a poignant ode to the complexities and challenges of marriage. With a combination of vulnerability, depth, and hope, Peterson explores the realities of navigating the treacherous landscape of marriage. It’s a metaphor for the challenges and risks couples face when committing to a lifelong journey together. Marriage is not always smooth sailing but can often feel like treading through dangerous territory. Yet rather than fearing the obstacles, Peterson encourages embracing the dance amidst the minefields, finding beauty, love, and joy in the midst of the struggles.

  Church relationships are like that too. A church isn’t a religious social club, it’s a family. Yet, as a family of brothers and sisters in Christ, there’s some Dancing in the Minefields. Too often we forget that a church is made up of redeemed sinners. The ideal won’t happen until we get Home.   

  Today we’re celebrating our 6^th Anniversary in this building. God has been so good to us! You’re sitting in a “miracle.” God’s hand was here and so evident providing all along the way from purchasing the land to our first service in this facility. We never want to forget His goodness to us! We want to unite together in praising God for all that He has done for us and how He has so wonderfully blessed us on this 6^th Anniversary!

  Yet, in a church family we must also remember that as in a marriage, we’re all sinners saved by grace. Sometimes we’re so focused on the “grace,” we forget the “sinners” side. A local church is made up of redeemed sinners, yet the completeness of our redemption won’t happen until heaven. Until then we all struggle with our sinful minefields. Family is messy, even the family of God. We say the wrong thing. We get on each other’s nerves. We disagree, get offended and even become angry, but if we will submit to King Jesus, we’ll grow in grace through it, grow closer to Him and each other. 

  God uses conflict to open our eyes to our blind spots to help us grow to be more like Jesus. Yet, too often conflicts (even small ones) instead of encouraging Christlike growth result in some believers exiting rather than problem-solving. The church isn’t seen as a family but as a “spiritual retail outlet.” So, if you’re not getting the service that you feel you deserve, you go shopping for another one. Yet, the next church has redeemed sinners too and we often carry the same unresolved baggage from our last church into our new one. It’s so much better to biblically problem-solve, grow in grace and persevere. Our goal is not to be “nice Christians” who fake love. Our goal is to be authentic and like Jesus. That will take us the rest of our lives.

  God will never give us a beautiful, flaw free dance. He has something so much better. He wants our love for each other to deepen through conflict and even pain. As we grow closer to Him, we’ll grow closer to each other.

  As in a healthy marriage, to grow more like Jesus requires two attitudes – selflessness and sacrifice. Most conflict arises because those are missing. Can you imagine a couple having a fight because they’re too selfless and sacrificial? As you’ll never be happy in a marriage, if you approach it with, What’s in it for me? The same is true of a church. And if you don’t get this, you’ll soon be heading down the road looking for that next church that will fulfill your desire for – What’s in it for me?

  As a healthy marriage takes two hosts, the same is true of a healthy church, multiple ones. To be fulfilled in Christ’s Church, you must come as a servant. We are saved to serve (Ephesians 2:10). Isn’t that the example that Jesus gave us as He washed His disciples’ feet? Unhappy Christians don’t serve but sit and complain. So, I have a few challenges for us before our next Anniversary. 

  Let’s stop playing it safe. This past week I had the privilege of talking with our J.O.Y. ministry. I challenged them to break out of their safe circles of befriending and hanging with those like them and in the same age bracket. Seniors need friendships with young people, not just other seniors.

  The same is true for all of us. Are your friends all pretty much like you? Same age, family and social status? That’s not a biblical model. A church family is diverse, not just in its make-up, it’s diverse in its friendships. The Christian life isn’t about being safe. You won’t grow in grace if you only stay in the same “safe” friendships.

  Lower your expectations of others. When we walk in a church, we know that we’re sinners. We know that we recently had a fight with our spouse or complained about something. Yet, we don’t want others to be sinners…but they are. That doesn’t mean we settle for mediocrity. It does mean that we show God’s grace to others just as we want them to show it to us.  

  Spend daily time with God. If you don’t regularly spend time with the Father, you’re not going to like His family. It’s difficult to worship together if we’re not on the same page spiritually. It’s amazing how daily time with the Lord in His Word and in prayer changes your outlook.

  Continually grow in gratitude. A believer should be the most grateful person. We know what we deserve. Yet not only have we been rescued from Hell, we also have Heaven waiting for us and innumerable blessings from the Father in our journey through this life. So, develop the habit of counting your blessings. Be thankful for your brothers and sisters in Christ, even the ones who annoy you a little. Grow in grace and gratitude.

  Healthy church relationships are like dancing in the minefield, yet as we learn to dance, we grow more in His likeness and know more of His joy! 

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Super Team Jesus Fans

 

“Football is an honest game. It’s true to life. It’s a game about sharing. 

Football is a team game. So is life.” Joe Namath

 
Though wearing a Cracker Barrell uniform, her Team Jesus loyalty and love shined through her. Her name was Lillian, and she touched my heart.
  I love grits! Unfortunately, the only restaurant that serves them in Wisconsin is Cracker Barrell. When I’m not with Jane or if she’s out of town, as she was last week, I go to Cracker Barrell to get my “fix.”
  When Lillian came to wait on me, it just seemed something was different. It wasn’t the normal server social friendliness. She had a beautiful smile and it felt like more, it seemed like she had real joy. I was there to get my grits and do a little reading. Yet, I try to engage servers in a conversation. It’s opened many doors for the gospel over the years. And it turned out that she was a Christ-follower. Upon learning that, I shared, “I thought you were.” You could sense it. She’d recently graduated from a Christian college and was working to pay off school bills. Her passion though was to be a missionary. She’d been on a mission’s trip to Israel and wanted to return there but knew that it would be difficult because of the current unrest. I suggested Jordan as a possibility and a couple of mission agencies that might consider sending her back to Israel. I wasn’t surprised by her love for the Lord and passion for the lost. Christians run in when everyone else runs out.
  It’s the Super Bowl today. Fans are proudly wearing their teams’ jerseys, even if not attending the game but at home with friends. They’re passionate and cheering on their team.
  Even the most inattentive ears can’t miss the many ongoing conversations about the game. They talk about the field in Vegas or the rematch from four years ago. They’ll discuss whether Brock Purdy has what it takes to get the 49ers the ring after a thirty-year drought? The chatter on the Chiefs side focuses on familiar names like Patrick Mahomes, Travis Kelce and Chris Jones. Which coach will pull it off? Andy Reid or Kyle Shanahan?
  Yet, what about us? The Big Game has vital applications for us as Christ-followers. After all, fan is just short for fanatic.
  Do others look at our lives and know that we’re Christ followers? We may not wear a Team Jesus “jersey,” yet, do we live in a way so others see a difference? Fans want others to know what team they love. Do we have that same passion, longing for others to know that we’re on Team Jesus?
  Is being born-again a new life and radical transformation? Is there evidence in our ethics, our conversations, our marriages, and relationships with our children to show that we’re in Christ? What “team” do our social media posts indicate? What about how we spend our time? Is worshipping with other believers a priority? How about our entertainment choices? Are we kind and Christlike even when disagreeing on things like politics?
  Football fans are so excited about their team that they can hardly talk about anything else. What excites us? What is it that we can hardly stop talking about? Is it that we’ve been forgiven a sin debt that we could never pay? Is it that we’re loved by a God who knows our names and every burden that we carry. Is it that He loves us so much that even though we were His enemies, He willingly sacrificed His perfect Son for us? If anyone should be excited to talk about Jesus and His love for us, it should be us. Like a fan, we should be so overwhelmed by God’s grace that we can’t stop talking about Jesus. Like football fans, we talk about grace and forgiveness, peace, and joy in Christ because it turned our lives upside down and we long for others to know Him.
  Super Bowl players have trained for this day. Players spend years coming up through a system of high school, college, and professional sports. They give their all to the game. Their whole life is centered on it. Exhausting, year-round practice, weightlifting, and punishing games. They risk injury and suffer many pains, all for the game. Yet, ten years from now, all but the most gifted ones will be forgotten. As Christ-followers, sharing our faith can make an eternal difference in someone’s life. Do we have that same passion and dedication that the players have? Are we willing to make sacrifices for Jesus? Will we take risks for the gospel? It’s true we’re not paid millions, instead we’re blessed with eternal rewards that can never be taken away.
  Super Bowl Fans love to party. Many fans watching prepared and invited others for a Super Bowl Party? They’ve invited friends and family. They’ve planned the menu. They’ll watch the pre-game and be excited for that first kickoff. They’ll be waiting, anticipating the start.
  Every Sunday is a Resurrection Day. Do we anticipate it? We have the privilege of worshiping the One who sacrificially gave His life for us and conquered death. Are we excited? Is it a priority? Do we prepare our hearts? Do we prayerfully plan for the worship service? Do we anticipate joining our brothers and sisters to worship together? Do we look for those that we can cheer on, pray for, or encourage?
  Fans pay mega bucks to attend the game. Those attending pay a hefty price to attend. Tickets go from $5,000 to $35,000 for regular seats. Fans pay big bucks to attend. Yet, in our post-Covid age many Christians are satisfied with living room church, but it’s not the same as being there. Worship is not about convenience or comfort. It’s about being together for worship. It’s about joining shoulder to shoulder with the family of God.
  Fans don’t care about the clock. Fans watch the clock to see their team win. They watch the clock if their team is behind to see if it has a chance. Some watch the clock at the worship service longing for it to end so they can shoot out the door for what’s “important.” They’re relieved it’s finally done. Fans love the game and will talk about it for days. If it goes into overtime, then it’s a great game! But if the worship goes a little over, some attendees may be irritated that it infringed on their time.
  Fans attend because they love the team and love the game. Yet, many Christ-followers attend out of duty. They’re bored as they sing about God’s grace or listen to the Word or message of how He wants to transform them and make an eternal difference with their lives. Their love has grown cold.
  Football fans leave pumped up. Christ-followers often drag out, unmoved and unchanged. Maybe that’s why we’re making so little difference in this world? Maybe it’s not the world that has a problem, maybe it’s us. So, this afternoon when you watch the game, whisper a prayer that the Church, that our church, would become energized with the Spirit and become Super fanatics for the winning team, Team Jesus!

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Never Bad Mouth Your Spouse

 

“Sticks and stones may break our bones,

but words will break our hearts.” Robert Fulghum

 

When I see this, it grieves me…the harsh way some married couples talk to each other. Best-selling author, Shaunti Feldhahn, shares this experience:
  I was standing with my family in a packed line for an amusement park ride when the couple in front of me began looking at their watches and arguing. “Oh, great.” The wife’s voice could be clearly heard above the noisy environment. “It’s almost 2 p.m. already. At this rate we’re going to miss the show with the kids.” Her husband shook his head. “Well, that sort of thing happens.” “Well, it wouldn’t have happened at all if you’d gotten the show tickets when we first got to the park. But no, you had to spend all that extra time looking at the map, even though the kids asked you to hurry. If we miss the show, they’re going to be really upset with you.”

  Just as I couldn’t help overhearing, I couldn’t help wincing — not just at the woman’s words, but at her piercing and sarcastic tone. I found myself thinking, “Would you ever use that tone of voice with a close friend? If not, then why on earth would you ever speak that way to your husband?” Later when I finished a major research study to identify what makes the happiest couples so happy, I learned that my initial concern at the amusement part wasn’t just a rhetorical question. It turns out that how we speak to each other day to day is one of the most important factors in marriage.
  Valentine’s Day is around the corner, but this year instead of going on a big date, buying flowers or some special gift – do something that can transform your marriage – Change how you talk to your spouse!
  The Bible says a lot about how we talk. It’s amazing how our conversation with our spouse changes if someone is present that we’d be embarrassed if they heard our normal conversations. Too many of us, after we’ve been married a few years, fall into destructive ruts of how we talk to each other. “To love and cherish” is a lifetime commitment. We used to talk kindly when we were dating, but we’ve forgotten – and it costs us.
  Someone is probably reading this thinking, “I talk to them the way that they talk to me” or “I’ll change, if they change.” But God holds each of us accountable for ourselves. The vital questions are: Who does God want me to be in this marriage? Am I pleasing the One who died for me? Would you talk that way if you knew that Jesus was listening…because He is.
  Kindness in the way we talk is an overflow of a heart of love that seeks the good of the other. Too many marriages sound like a comic sitcom. Many speak nicer to their pet. Please know that I’m a fellow-sinner here. I’m ashamed of how I’ve spoken to Jane at times and am so thankful that God is the God of grace and forgiveness. Let me share some negatives and positives on marital communication.   
  Never use derogatory names. When I was a child, if I said certain words my mother would wash my mouth out with soap. Obscene names for your spouse are evil. So, are derogatory terms like stupid, dummy or idiot. She’s not your “old lady” and he’s not your “old man.”
  Kill the Sarcasm. If you want to improve your marriage, kill sarcasm. Sarcasm is hostility disguised as humor. Despite smiling outwardly, the victim of sarcastic comments feels put down. The origin of the word sarcasm comes from the Greek word “sarkazein” which literally means “to tear or strip the flesh off.” Its why sarcasm is often preceded by the word “cutting.” Sarcasm cuts and hurts.
  Watch your tone, volume and speed of your words. Kindness has a tone. Cruelty and harshness also have one, a bad one. Have you ever noticed that angry people are usually loud? Proverbs 15:1 says, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Then, slow it down. Listen to lovers talking. They speak very carefully and slowly with each other. It’s hard to speak lovingly when your words are coming out rapid fire like a machine gun. So, how should we talk to our spouse?
   Listen first. James 1:19 says, “let every person be quick to hear.” Most of us need to learn to truly listen. Often one spouse talks or processes slower than the other and their mate grows impatient. So, never finish someone else’s sentence. Listen to understand, not to think about what you’re going to say next. Understanding requires the same definitions. For example, when Jane and I were first married, vacation meant something totally different to each of us. Jane’s family often went camping. I hate camping. For me, roughing it was going to a hotel and the hot water didn’t work.  

  Speak relationally. Many couples think they communicate but they only share information, like who’s picking up the kids or what they need from the store…and then frequently by text. In a relational conversation we share our heart. We share wants, dreams, hurts, fears, likes, and dislikes. We’re safe with each other and those conversations can bring insight and even healing. Oftentimes we’ve been beaten up by this world. It’s our mate who can share God’s grace when we’re hurting. As Jack Miller said, “God’s grace flows downhill to the low places, not uphill to the put-together places.” And shouldn’t the number one person that you’re praying for be your spouse? Do you ever ask them, “How can I pray for you?”
  Listen for the nonverbal cues. This takes time. You can tell when a couple has been married a few years and are still in love. They can hear each other’s unspoken words. A look, a facial expression, even a small sigh can speak volumes. Lovers hear the unspoken words.
  Have your own language. Jane and I have words that are associated with funny memories that just the word will either bring a smile or a burst of laughter. She’s the only one who calls me “Honey.” Sometimes a waitress will call me as a customer, “Honey.” For me that’s a special word. It just doesn’t fit when anyone else besides Jane calls me that.
  Healthy marital communication won’t just happen. It takes work. It takes God’s love and grace flowing through us but it’s so worth it!

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

 

 

Anticipatory Anxiety

“Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered.

No one was there.”

 
Recently, the Chapman University Survey of American Fears (CSAF) conducted their annual survey of the top 10 fears in America. They do this by following trends over time and identifying new fears that might emerge.
  Among the top ten fears Americans currently have: Corrupt government officials; Economic/financial collapse; Russia using nuclear weapons; US involved in another World War; Biological warfare and Cyber-terrorism.
  Let me ask what I hope is a thought-provoking question: How many do we have any control over? Zero, nil, diddly-squat, zippo…you get the point. If 99.99% of us have zero control over these things, why are we afraid of them or what purpose is there in us worrying about any of them?
  Many people, including sadly many Christians, suffer from what’s known as Anticipatory Anxiety. That’s simply a “fear of the future.” Some tragic consequences of anticipatory anxiety are that victims are nervous and fearful about the future. Often, they spend time mentally dwelling on worst-case scenarios regarding future situations. Instead of dreading a terrible potential future with a low potential at that, God wants us to live where that missionary statesman, William Carey lived. Carey wisely said: “The future is as bright as the promises of God.”
  For the believer, the future isn’t dark, it’s brilliantly bright because our Heavenly Father has it all under control. What does the future hold for the believer? Let me point out five promises just from the book of Philippians.
  Future Perfection. The last part of Philippians 1:6, says, “He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” When someone is born again, they can’t be satisfied with spiritual mediocrity. They long to be sinless and ultimately be sin-free just like Jesus. Those of us who are “in Christ,” will, one day achieve our dream.  No more struggles, no more defeat, no more shame: perfection.  What a joy it will be to be “finished,” completed, perfect!
  Future Joy. Philippians 1:18 says, “…Christ is preached. And because of this, I rejoice. Yes, and I will continue to rejoice.” Every believer longs for joy. If you’re a Christ-follower, you can be absolutely confident today that you will do lots of rejoicing tomorrow, both on this side of the grave and on the other side of death. Paul was primarily thinking in terms of rejoicing on this side of the grave. His confidence in future joy gave him present joy. Paul and we can have hope based on the promise of our Father.
  Future Deliverance. Philippians 1:19 says “for I know that through your prayers, and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance.” Whether we live or die, God has promised to deliver us. Either way, we win! No more disease or pain, no suffering, no more losses or tragedies, no more hatred or conflict.
  Future Grace. Philippians 1:20 says, “I eagerly expect and hope, that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.” This wasn’t self-confidence. It’s holy boldness. Paul knew that God would give him all the grace that he needed to face anything and everything victoriously, and in that God would be honored by Paul’s life.
  Future Gain. Philippians 1:21 says, “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” That’s to be our passion and goal now, “to live is Christ.” Yet, it doesn’t end there, “to die is gain.” For someone who hasn’t committed their life to Christ, to die is to lose everything.  No wonder so many will do nearly anything to hold off death. Yet, Christians have no reason to be desperate.  As much as we enjoy the things of this life, our deaths will bring gain, not loss – rest, joy, peace, comfort, satisfaction, perfect fellowship, and so much more. Seeing Jesus face to face will make every other gain seem small by comparison. Because our future is certain because of God’s promises, every believer should have Anticipatory Excitement!
  Which one do you have? Anticipatory Anxiety or Anticipatory Excitement? Anticipatory Excitement comes from focusing on God’s truth!
  In national parks, there are signs, “Please Don’t Feed the Bears.” When people feed the bears, those bears gain confidence and lose their fear of humans. They become dangerous as they become more aggressive. Many of us need to cross out the “B” and place an “F” there. The sign we need over our hearts is, “Please Don’t Feed the Fears.” As we feed our fears, they eat us alive. How can we feed our faith and not our fears?
  Habitually read God’s Word. Feed your heart on God’s promises.
  Go on a media and social media diet. Stop feeding the monster. The majority of what’s on there won’t help you trust God or grow in faith.
  Become more aware of your thoughts. Have you ever caught yourself just eating mindlessly? We do the same mentally. As the refrigerator has a light that goes on when we open it, we need a light to go off when we begin to head down dead-end dark mental streets.
  Fight imaginary fears with the truth of praise. In the midst of fearful circumstances, the psalmist continually praises God. Count your blessings and then count them again and again. There’s power in praise! By choosing to praise God for what you know is true of God’s character, you overcome your fears with His truth. Rather than following your heart, lead it.
  Remember what God has done, not what might happen. Remember God’s goodness in the past in your life. The conscious act of remembering His past faithfulness deepens our trust in His present goodness. Spurgeon wrote: “It is well to mark our mercies with well-carved memorials.” God commands us to remember His works. Why? He knows we’re so forgetful. Remembering what He has done strengthens our faith to fight fear.  
  Fight imaginary fears with an eternal perspective. Fixing our thoughts on the eternal keeps our perspective of the present balanced. It gives us clarity as to why we’re here and that this life, even at its worst, is temporary. Focusing on eternity inspires us to live lives of significance.
  As our trust in God’s truth deepens, we experience grace and power. Jesus is real. Let’s fill our minds with Him and His promises. And we’ll have no need to fear the future because He’s already there…waiting for us!

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

 

Basics on Toxics

 

“Some people are in such utter darkness that they will burn you just to see a light. 

Try not to take it personally.”  Kamand Kojouri

 
This morning we’re beginning a several week series, “Dealing with Toxic People.” The dictionary defines Toxic as: “containing or being poisonous material especially when capable of causing death or serious debilitation.” Applying our spiritual nature to this definition gives us the reality that toxic people are those who are capable of causing mental and emotional injury and death, or serious debilitation, to both their lives and ours.
  We all have toxic people in our lives. Because of sin, at some level, we’re all toxic. For some reason, memes about toxic people, narcissism and broken relationships have exploded on social media. Yet, toxic people have always been around. Probably the acrimonious cultural divisions we’ve seen in recent years have heightened our awareness of toxic relationships.
  Genesis 4 is one of the first toxic relationships. Cain’s anger at God erupted with his murdering his brother, Abel, who’d done nothing to antagonize Cain. Abel was simply seeking to please God, but his commitment to God enraged Cain and Abel ended up as the first victim of rage and cold-blooded murder. Like Abel, sometimes you don’t have to do anything other than exist to find yourself the target of someone’s toxicity.  
  As I’ve watched the obsession with toxic people on social media, the thought occurred to me that “if your best strategy in dealing with toxic people is memes, you’re in big trouble.” Add to that, we tend to throw around terms and use a broad brush. Do those using these terms even know what they mean? That line by Inigo Montoya in The Princess Bride seems apropos. “You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means.” Before we label someone, we should be certain of our own understanding of the label and what the term actually means.
  For example, someone may be labeled a “narcissist.” The dictionary defines it, “A person full of egoism. One who shows extreme love and admiration for himself or herself. Someone in love with themselves.” Have you ever met someone who isn’t full of pride at some level and loves and admires themselves? We’re all guilty. Now someone who is truly a narcissist takes that to extremes. Yet, traits of toxicity that so bother us in the lives of others are frequently ones that we also are guilty of. Toxicness is true of all of us at some level according to Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Be aware that as we work through this series, there are some themes that we’ll return to each week.  
  When it comes to a toxic trait, first suspect the sinner you know best. Stop for a moment and answer this question. Who is the worst sinner that you know? Chances are that you know hundreds, even thousands of people. Think of all those people and ponder: Who is the worst sinner of all?
  Perhaps you thought of a parent who did great damage to you as a child. Maybe a co-worker who delights in her own vileness, or a friend who is imprisoned for what he has done. If you were honest though, you admitted that you know someone who is a far greater sinner than any of these – YOU. When I stop and think about the greatest sinner I know, I must admit that it’s me. I’m the greatest sinner I know…and you’re the greatest sinner you know. There is seemingly no end to the depravity of my own heart. As William Law said, “Self is the root, the tree, and the branches of all the evils of our fallen state.” So, as we work through these toxic traits, please first look in the mirror of your soul. Frequently, we have blind spots and would be wise to ask those closest to us: How do you experience me?
  Then, be warned. Because of our own toxicity, we can project what we are onto others. King Ahab did that to Elijah, accusing God’s prophet of being the source of Israel’s trouble. For example, if someone is a habitual liar, they assume that all others are liars. The same is true of someone who is manipulative or has an anger issue. We assume others think like us.
  If you are in a toxic relationship whether in your marriage, family, workplace or wherever – God put you there. Read the first two chapters of the book of Job. Who allowed Job to go through all that misery? God. One of the most toxic families in the Bible is that of the patriarch, Joseph. Yet, God used that dysfunctionality to “send” Joseph to Egypt to preserve the nation of Israel (Psalm 105:17).
  As much we may hate it, God uses fire to melt away our own sinful habits and traits to make us trophies of His grace. I know that’s true in my life. I doubt that I’d be in the ministry today and love the Lord, if I had not grown up in the family that I grew up in. As Job observed, “But He knows the way that I take; when He has tried me, I shall come out as gold” (Job 23:10).
  I love those words of Joseph at the end of Genesis as his brothers were terrified that Joseph would execute justice and take revenge on them for the evil that they’d done to him. “But Joseph said to them, ‘Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today’” (Genesis 50:19-20).
  There is always hope! There are times when the best decision is to walk away or at least limit the toxic individual’s influence in your life. Yet, the tendency in our culture is to bail too soon. We know little of what the Bible calls longsuffering and perseverance.
  Living in the heat of a toxic relationship must drive us to prayer. While it’s appropriate to pray for deliverance. Yet, God never wastes our pain, so we should also pray that God will, as He did in the life of Joseph and many others, use the pain to produce spiritual fruit in our own lives.  
  Then, if there is no relief, we’re confident that the very worst toxic situation for the Christ-follower is temporary. The Apostle Paul endured terrible fiery trials. Notice the contrast in his words between temporal trials and life in eternity. “So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

 

TEAMWORK: Together We Are Winners!

 

“All were merged into one smoothly working machine; they were, in fact, a poem of motion, a symphony of swinging blades.”   Daniel James Brown in The Boys in the Boat 

If the movie is half as good as the book, I can’t wait to see it. A few years ago, I read, The Boys in the Boat, which has been recently released as a movie. This true story is based on the struggles and sacrifices made by the University of Washington rowing team in the 1940s. It’s the powerful account of nine young men from various backgrounds who came together during the Depression to be an Olympic championship team. The main character, Joe Rantz, had a tough time growing up and was abandoned by his family for several years to fend for himself. He and the other eight young men struggled to earn their way through college. Success was dependent on learning to work together as a team. They became national heroes after defeating Germany in the Olympics prior to World War II.
  Team is the stuff of great champions. Team is the stuff of great churches. Notice that there is no “i” in team.
  Most Christians read the New Testament through contemporary eyes. When we see “you” in the Bible we see the “you” is singular. Yet, of the 3,000 uses of the word “you,” nearly 2200 of them are plural. Even our worship music is more “Jesus & me,” but the New Testament’s focus is “Jesus & us.” In our individualistic day we forget that Jesus had a team. As God, He certainly didn’t need a team. He was giving us a pattern.
  Though the Apostle Paul was a dynamic leader, yet he travelled with a ministry team. You can hear the sadness of being alone when Paul writes, “only Luke is with me…” (1 Timothy 4:11).
  The Bible compares a local church to a family, a body, a building, even an army. There is no such thing as “an army of one.” Every metaphor used for the church in Scripture speaks of a team and a committed community. What does it take to be a successful church team?
  You must have one captain. One quickly learns in The Boys in the Boat the vital importance of the synchronization of the eight rowers as they respond to the commands of the coxswain with the stroke, consistent pacing, and sprint to the finish. The coxswain sets the tempo. If the rowers are going at their own individual pace or direction, they’ll always lose.
  The same is true of the local church. If Jesus Christ is not Lord, if everyone has their own personal agenda, the church will struggle, be distracted, frustrated, even irritated and dead in the water. While we have opinions and values, our direction doesn’t come from within ourselves. Our direction must come from His Word. Each of us must be in the Book, if we’re going to be obeying and pleasing to our Captain.
  You must have a united purpose. Grace Church exists to glorify our Heavenly Father by continually making more followers of the Lord Jesus Christ. At Grace, we’re committed to being part of Jesus’ team to reach our neighborhood, community, and world. If someone only wants to attend and not be a contributing part of the team, if they don’t want to serve, give or share the gospel but just fill a seat, we’re not the church for them.
  You must be an encourager. Our world has far too many discouragers and critics. Check out social media or listen to those around you. It’s the antithesis of the old folk song, Home on the Range. Instead of “never is heard a discouraging word,” more often it’s “never is heard an encouraging word.” Anyone can point out what’s wrong and be a critic. It’s vile that many will say behind someone’s back or behind a keyboard what they’d never say to someone’s face. If we do need to say something corrective to a team member, we must “speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15).
  The Bible commands us to have conversations which “edify” (Ephesians 4:19). Edify simply means to build each other up. It’s hard work to be a winning rowing team. Each member needs to encourage the other rowers to persevere. They need to know that their part and effort is vital.
  All of us grow tired. We all grow weary and get discouraged from time to time. It’s why need desperately each other and must encourage each other.
  You must let others know that they are not alone. Recently, as some of our church families were going through difficult times, it struck me that one of Satan’s worst weapons in suffering is loneliness. You begin to feel that no one else is there for you or understands the struggles you’re going through. While we often can’t solve the problem, we can reassure those going through deep waters that they are not rowing through them alone.
  You must know other team members. A winning team knows each other. That doesn’t happen in an hour on Sundays. We must spend time with each other. It takes what Scripture calls fellowship. The word in the New Testament is koinonia, which means “sharing life.” The Bible commands us to love each other, serve each other, pray for each other – in other words – be there for each other. That will never happen if we don’t first know each other.
  There’s an old story about teamwork. Many years ago, when most roads were dirt ones, a farmer who lived near a dirt road prone to flooding, would bring his old mule, Buddy, down to pull cars out of the muck. On one occasion he arrived and hooked up Buddy to the car in the mud. The farmer yelled, “Pull Nellie! Pull!” But Buddy didn’t move. Then the farmer yelled, “Pull Jenny, pull!” Buddy still didn’t move. Then he said, “Pull, Buddy, pull!” And Buddy easily pulled the car out of the mud.
  One motorist asked the farmer, “Why did you call out those other names before you called Buddy’s name?” The farmer said, “Old Buddy is blind. If he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn’t even try. I do that to make him believe that he’s part of a team. That idea of teamwork gives him the strength to pull out any car.”
  Jesus has called every Christ-follower to be part of His team. Are you rowing? Are you a faithful member of His team?

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.