We lost more than the Boy Scouts

“Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy.”

  Recently, the Boy Scouts of America announced that the organization will begin accepting girls as members, thus ending their uniqueness. Many commentators have lamented the moral decline of the Boy Scouts, seen in the organization’s continued capitulation to the ideology of contemporary mores. Since its inception, the Boy Scouts offered a pathway from boyhood to manhood, a vision of the good life that brought together nature and nurture and lifting up a moral vision to be pursued and cherished.

  Spending time outdoors with others in community was a way of traveling the ancient path of wisdom and virtue. Wisdom: learning how to flourish by living according to the grain of the universe. Virtue: choosing patterns of life that lead to the development of moral intuitions and character growth.

  The Scouts offered a way for boys to track their progression toward the fulfillment of an idealized manhood. All the knot-tying and skills-learning were primarily about bringing yourself in line with the way the world works. It was about preparing and becoming a man, a man of character.

  Today’s culture overflows with examples of “boy-men”– men who live in perpetual adolescence, never quite outgrowing juvenile behavior. Achievement today is mastering the latest video game, winning at beer pong, or sexual triumphs. Earlier generations of men achieved the traditional benchmarks of masculine maturity via marriage, parenting, stable employment, and a completed education by their twenties.

  Very few do that today. Over the past several years, there have been a number of studies conducted where thousands of women were asked what traits come to mind when they think of the typical man today. Commonly used labels weren’t complimentary. They used terms like: Narcissistic, Perverted, Emotionally stunted, Deficient in communication skills, Unreliable, Afraid of commitment, Lazy. The typical profile of a 25-year old man today is drastically different than it was in past generations.

  We could bemoan this, criticize and even ridicule young men…or we could do something supremely biblical. We censure the next generation for being irresponsible, so why don’t we determine to take responsibility to help the next generation in our midst? As a church, we can be part of the solution. We must seek to encourage redemptive manhood. It’s an ancient path that hasn’t gone away. It includes wisdom and virtue, though showered by divine grace. This path is clearer and more appealing than ever. The One who walked it before us made sure that it was narrow.

  What can we do to give godly guidance to young men? There’s no magic formula. God must be at work in teaching us and our boys. It’s God that must be the one who causes them to grow (1 Corinthians 3:7), but we can plant and water. A vital way though that we can help the next generation is by first modeling for them what it is to be a man. So, what are some marks of maturity? In the Bible, maturity is always spiritual. It’s wisdom in knowing God and His will and applying it to your life (Proverbs 1:1-7).

  Each Christian man must determine to set an example by his own manhood. He must commit to be like Paul, who said, “Follow my example as I follow the example of Christ.” That’s a big challenge and every man fails to live up to it at some point. In no special order, here are some traits that we must teach to boys to help them become men.

  Take responsibility. Boys run from responsibility; men run toward it. Men hold down a job, know what it is to be committed and act maturely. If he doesn’t, then he’s little more than a boy with a beard (Prov. 10:1).

  Have a backbone. Being a man means you must have the courage to take a stand for what’s right. It means speaking up for the powerless, defending the weak, fighting injustice and fighting for your family (1 Cor. 13:13).

  If you have a wife and family, provide for them. Your wife and children must know you’re willing to go hungry to make sure that they don’t. It’s not the government’s job to take care of them. It’s yours. There’s no shame in asking for assistance if you need it, but you must be willing to work hard and take an unfulfilling job to take care of your family (2 Thes. 3:10).  

  Control your emotions. Emotions are God-given. There are healthy and important ways to express them. Don’t be ruled by them. If you don’t learn to master anger and other emotions, they’ll master you (Prov. 29:11).

  Keep your commitments. Pay your debts, keep your word, and always speak the truth. When you’ve blown it, admit it and seek forgiveness. Don’t make your decisions based on your feelings; make your choices based on your commitments (Psalm 15:4).

  Trust God. God made you and His plan for your life is the only plan that counts. Don’t be foolishly prideful so that you try to do it on your own. Life is meant to be lived in relationship and dependence on Him. If you walk with Him, you’re always headed in the right direction! (Prov. 3:5-6).

  A godly man isn’t perfect. None of us will reach perfection until we’re in the presence of Jesus. A godly man though embraces manhood and knows that Jesus, not a lost world, sets the standard for what it means to be a man. He strives daily to model his life after Christ. He doesn’t excuse sin or weakness, but continually surrenders those areas to God and asks for His grace in overcoming them. Regardless of physical appearance, social status, or economic standing, each man can be a godly man if he loves God with all his heart and seeks to obey Him in every area of his life. 

  May God give us godly men and may God help us to help the young men in our midst to mature into being godly men! 

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

A really, really short graduation speech...

“So what are you gonna do, When the world don't orbit around you…

Ain't it fun, Living in the real world…Don't go crying to your mama

'Cause you're on you're own, in the real world.”  Paramore

  This time of year podiums across our land often have famous graduation speakers who share little more than cultural drivel. Much of it’s the stuff of myth, some are outright lies. Graduates are told: You can be anything you want to be, just dream and work hard. Follow your heart, the people that don’t like you don’t matter anyway. These are the best years of your life. Your life begins now…”

  I’ve only been asked to give one graduation speech, yet, if I were giving one today, I think I could sum it up in five words: “It’s time to grow up!” That’s a message that not only this year’s graduates need; it’s a message American culture needs. Tragically and ironically, it’s a message we need in the Church of Jesus Christ.

  Thomas Bergler of Huntington University observes what’s been called “the juvenilization of American Christianity.” He writes, “Juvenilization is the process by which the religious beliefs, practices, and developmental characteristics of adolescents become accepted as appropriate for adults. It’s adults embracing immature versions of the faith.” It’s really not a new phenomena, just seemingly a much more predominant one.

  2,000 years ago, it was to the church which thought that it was the wisest, most mature and sophisticated that the Apostle Paul wrote, “I…could not address you as spiritual people, but as infants in Christ. I fed you with milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for it. And even now you are not yet ready” (1 Cor. 3:1-2). It’s the malady of big, baby Christians. Are you one? How do we spot a Christian desperately needing to grow up? One that’s stuck in childish spiritual behavior? 

  Christians stuck in childish behavior are self-absorbed. What’s the predominant trait of a toddler. They’re focused on “me, myself and mine.” It’s what makes me happy. It’s my way, my toy, my seat by the window. It’s my Mommy (even if there are multiple siblings). Sadly, narcissism is epidemic in the Church today. We’re infected with self-absorption rather than self-sacrifice. Often we believe spiritual maturity is synonymous with Bible knowledge or even just being a Christian a long time. It’s not. Spiritual maturity is evidenced by a Christ-like heart and lifestyle.

  Jesus made Himself a servant, though He was the Sovereign. The typical American Christian either goes to church or goes looking for church with one criteria: What’s in it for me? That’s often accompanied by, What’s in it for my family? It’s guised under questions like: Do they have programs for my children? (Interestingly, the Bible never once mentions youth or children’s programs). Do they sing my music? Do I feel comfortable there? Are they meeting my needs? Are they like my ideal picture of church? (Not necessarily a biblical one).

  I can’t recall anyone ever coming to me, and I don’t know of any pastor who’s ever had this experience, where a believer came to church and said something like, “I believe God is leading me here so I can serve Jesus as part of this church family.” Instead, pastors and church leaders are to serve them and meet their perceived needs. It’s an immature Christianity that needs to grow up.

  Christians stuck in childish behavior whine. Toddlers whine. (It’s why naptime was invented J). They want a cookie. Don’t want to go to bed. If  they don’t get what they want, they whine. Immature Christians do the same. “Thank you” is missing from their heart and vocabulary. They’re spiritually flawed because praise and gratitude are absent in their soul.

  Yet, not only do they whine, often they up it with harsh criticism. Services are too long. The church is too cold…too hot…people aren’t friendly enough…they’re too friendly. Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

  Mature Christians are overwhelmingly grateful. They’re filled with gratitude because they realize a holy God not only has given them underserved mercy in withholding His judgment, He’s given them undeserved grace in making them part of His forever family with its inheritance and blessings.

  Are you a thankful believer? When was the last time you thanked our custodian for keeping our church clean? Or, those who make coffee for having it ready? Do you thank the worship team for their hours of preparation? How about a Sunday Morning Live teacher or youth leader?

  Christians stuck in childish behavior throw tantrums. All of us have felt empathy for the parent who’s tyke screams or throws themselves on the floor, kicking and hitting it with their tiny fists. While most Christians don’t throw themselves on the floor, I’ve seen some who came pretty close to that. Some actually scream. Most just complain, criticize and sow discord behind the scenes. They often don’t realize little ears are listening and are later shocked when their now adult children want little to do with church. The church was ripped down in front of them though during their formative years, and they remember. The bill has come due.

  Mature Christians problem-solve. They realize they themselves probably need to grow and potentially so do their other family members in Christ. Yet, if there’s never a humble dialogue and attempt to problem-solve, spiritual growth is stunted.

  Christians stuck in childish behavior tend to be passive/aggressive. Usually, when they’re ticked off about something at church, they first stop giving. They miss that if they were giving to the “church,” they’re ignorant of biblical giving. We give as an act of worship to Christ, not a church. Then, they start pulling back on involvement and become sporadic in their attendance. Like a divorcee who fails to solve the core issue, they frequently will repeat the same cycle in their next church and the one after that and the one after that.

  Our Heavenly Father is looking for men and women of faith, not tykes. That’s because we have been given an adult mission, the greatest responsibility, sharing the Gospel. It’s the only hope our world has. It’s what Jesus the One who gave His life for us commands us to do (Matt. 28:19-20). And that’s the worst problem with a baby Christian, they don’t  share and don’t even care. “It’s time to grow up!”

  Friend, please look in the mirror of God’s Word (James 1:23-25). Let it spur you on to spiritual maturity, to grow up in your faith. Jesus needs adults, mature in the faith to fulfill the mission. Can He count on you?