Value-filled Vacations

 

“The best adventures are the ones that make your heart race

and your soul sing.” Jon Miksis

 
Do you have some great vacation stories? I sure do. Some of my “funniest” ones explain why I avoid camping like it’s the Covid virus. At least I never want to sleep in a tent or underneath the stars ever again. 
  The arrival of the summer vacation season is an opportunity for a change of rhythm. It’s the time of year that since school is out, families can hit the road for weekend getaways or week-long excursions. Roads are clogged, tourist areas are filled, but the memories that are made can last a lifetime. Even if your children are grown, you still need the refreshment of vacation time, even if it’s just the two of you. But two things can rain on summer fun – Idealism and Extravagance.  
  Idealism poisons vacations. Your picture of the ideal vacation may be very different from your spouse’s. Opposites generally attract. Then, if you have children at home, the “ideal vacation” can quickly go off the rails.
  Because of social media, many of us think that ALL of our friends have “ideal vacations.” They don’t. The pictures posted may be the very best ones from the entire vacation. None of us live an ideal life. Vacations don’t alter that. On vacation we’ll still disagree, and the kids will still squabble. You’ll sabotage your time away if you have high, unrealistic expectations.
  A good vacation is a bit like going to a family restaurant – there’s something for everybody from the senior menu to the kid’s menu. It’s wise to pre-plan activities that are age appropriate. Make it an opportunity to find options that fit with someone’s specific interests. It’s an opportunity to learn to cooperate and compromise.
  And that all begins with communication. None of us are psychic. Let everyone, if they’re mature enough, give input. If everyone knows the plan, it helps limit conflict. Knowing the expectations lowers the stress but the unknown breeds insecurity. Wisely considering and planning for the physical-emotional abilities of each person makes it all the more enjoyable.
  The travel portion can be the most difficult with young children. Is your picture of an ideal time going to jail? For a child, being seat-belted in for several hours can be like being trapped in a small cell. So, plan for it.
  Either drive at night when little ones are sleeping or plan for games that can be played. FYI: Flying won’t eliminate this stress. With the most ideal flight and arriving at the airport two hours before the flight, time on the tarmac and arrival, you’re investing a minimum of 5 hours in travel time.
  Great vacations don’t have to be expensive. One of today’s cultural lies is that the more expensive it is, the more value and enjoyment it has.
  Over the years I’ve ridden in a few limousines. Though a limo costs more than driving a car, it primarily only got me to my destination without having to drive. The extra expense didn’t add true value to my trip. While there’s nothing wrong with spending extra money on a special place to stay or a theme park, make sure it’s a wise investment and not just buying into the marketing of how great it is and how it’s so worth the money. Too often we’re buying the marketing and being sold a bill of goods.
  Make sure you prioritize rest. Too many of us are normally running on empty. And then we so overschedule our vacation that our vacation, instead of being a reprieve, is work. You want to return recharged, not needing a vacation to recover from your vacation.
  Overscheduling can make even the best vacation laborious and is sure to create conflict. If you or your partner tend to err on the side of filling up every moment while you’re away, purposely build in time to do absolutely nothing. It’s amazing how relaxing it can be to fall asleep poolside.
  As much as you can, clear the schedule. Store the watches and digital instruments. Instead of cramming lots of activity in, prioritize what will truly be meaningful for you and your family.
  Make room for spontaneity. Do you remember this nursery rhyme?
 

Pussy cat, pussy cat, where have you been?

I've been to London to see the Queen.

Pussy cat, pussy cat, what did you do there?

I frightened a little mouse under her chair.

 
  So, this cat goes all the way to London and the high point is chasing mice. She could have just stayed home and done that. On vacation engage your spirit of adventure. Use the imagination that God has given you. Our children will never forget hotel nerf gun battles or going crabbing at night with garbage cans from the condominium.
  Children love mystery and surprises. If though you don’t plan it, it won’t happen. Plan something they’re not expecting yet will remember. It need not be many things, nor need it be expensive, but there ought to be something unexpected, something to look forward to, planned for the whole family. It’s the stuff that memories are made of.
  Share the childcare and domestic responsibilities. Even in today’s liberated world, wives and mothers still carry the bulk of the household responsibilities. Too often vacation is a vacation for everyone but Mom. We tried to counter this by keeping it simple. Breakfast would typically be cold cereal with sandwiches for lunch. But we tried to always go out for dinner. That way Jane didn’t have to prepare meals or do a clean-up. Now that we’re at a different phase of life, we’ve made finding unusual and unique restaurants an adventure.
  We’d do activities in the morning and leave the afternoons for down time or rest. God rested after the Creation and rest is part of our design. In other words, we were made to rest, so make sure that you plan down time.
  Put God in your luggage. Most of us will inspect our vehicles, review our routes and check the weather before we leave. But things are going to happen that are unplanned and if you don’t invite God to come with you, you’ll be unprepared, so pack your Bible. You need spiritual fuel, too.
  Vacations are a great time for relaxed time with the Lord and even family devotions. Dig into God’s word as a family and talk about what the Scriptures have to say. And while you’re in the midst of God’s creation, enjoy the Creator. Romans 1:18-20 explains how God’s invisible attributes are clearly visible in everything that He’s created. Plan some outdoorsy time in nature so everyone can experience God’s creation firsthand.
  Depending on your vacation style, vacations are about rest, connection, adventure and relaxing. And you get to decide a lot of what happens. So, be intentional about making this one the best trip yet!

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Burnout is normal!?!

 “Burnout is nature’s way of telling you, you've been going through the motions your soul has departed; you're a zombie, a member of the walking dead, a sleepwalker. False optimism is like administrating stimulants to an exhausted nervous system.”   Sam Keen

 

Currently, Jane and I are on vacation in Tennessee. It’s our third year at a wonderful cabin in an out of the way place called Muddy Pond. With a name like that, you know it’s a bit off the beaten path. So it’s some two weeks of being basically unplugged and technology free in natural quietness. Our neighbors are the bullfrogs who serenade us each night, a blue heron who periodically drops in, and more catfish than I can count. I buy a big bag of dog food and feed them. It’s like having underwater pets.

  But there’s one hurdle I’ll struggle with nearly every day. Unfortunately, it’s not just when I’m on vacation. Like many of you, I wrestle with this monster nearly every day, particularly on a day off. His name is GUILT.

  The work of a pastor, like that of a farmer (maybe that’s why the Bible calls us shepherds) or the mother of young children, is never done. There’s always one more person you should call, one more letter you should write, one more sermon to prepare. Where’s the line? When is enough time spent in prayer or Bible study? What about evangelism or encouragement? Papers to file start piling up, books that should be read, another meeting to attend. Somehow you’re supposed to be a good husband, available parent, friendly neighbor, keep up with house chores, yard work and car repairs. Many of you feel the same pressure. In our day of economic cutbacks where employers are seeking to stay competitive, they continually ask less people to produce more and more.

  Often I find myself waking up in the middle of the night, remembering things I need to do or some forgotten detail that I overlooked. Then, as much as I try, sleep seems to allude me.

  Busyness, burn out, fatigue are so much a part of our lives that tragically, we’ve accepted them as normative. It’s why many fall asleep in front of the TV or looking at a screen. It’s why we don’t read. The quietness of stopping, just sitting down is difficult for us. And when we do, we fall asleep, so we give up. It’s why too many of us are on the brink of burn out.

  What are some of the signs of burnout? A biblical example of burn out is the Old Testament prophet, Elijah. I’d encourage you to take time to read his story this week. You’ll find the account of Elijah on the verge of a major breakdown in 1 Kings 19. As a high fever can be a sign of serious illness, these are some of the symptoms of burn out.  

  We depreciate our life and worth. Your life is filled with negative self-talk. Dark tapes play over and over in your mind like a broken record: “I’m a nobody. My life doesn’t matter. I don’t count. I have no value.” We compare ourselves with others and their accomplishments: “I’m not doing enough.” We compare our problems with the seemingly easy life others have. We compare our talents or gifts, and think how meager they are compared to the super star quality of the person next door or in the next office. But the worst thing we do is when we compare our expectations with the way life has really turned out. Failures then become final. When we begin to look at the way life turned out compared to the way we expected it would, we set ourselves up for anger, bitterness and burnout.

  We take on responsibility that’s not legitimately ours. You can’t make your kids do the right thing. A preacher can’t get people to respond in the right way to God’s Word. You can’t make an addict quit. But we still try, we up the ante on our inner control freak. Then, we blame ourselves for things we can’t control and that aren’t our fault. We develop a superhero syndrome, attempting to be general manager of the universe.

  We exaggerate what’s wrong and our problems. We overemphasize all that’s wrong in our lives, yet overlook God’s blessings. We consistently focus on the negative whether it’s in our life or in the world around us. We become critical, negaholics…and it often shows on our faces. When you’re drained, fatigued or exhausted, you have difficulty seeing life accurately.

  We pay too much attention to our feelings. Ours is an emotionally driven world. When we focus on how we feel instead of what’s true, it discourages us. Our emotions continually deceive us. Just because you feel a certain way doesn’t mean it’s real. Ask any professional athlete and he’ll tell how discouraged he can feel after a great performance. He’s drained emotionally, so it’s easy to distort reality. He may have done a great job, but that’s not the message he hears from his emotions. Sometimes we must ignore our feelings. Feelings are highly unreliable. So what’s the cure?

  Rest, both physically and spiritually. When we feel overwhelmed, most cut back on the one area that helps us deal with being overwhelmed – rest. We need to go to bed at a decent time. Sometimes taking a ten minute nap helps us recharge in the middle of the day. God understands your body better than you do. Psalm 127:2 (Living Bible) “God wants His loved ones to get their proper rest.” Sometimes in life the most spiritual thing you can do is go to bed. When you’re tired, you can’t handle a whole lot. Often a good night’s rest will radically change your perspective, literally overnight.

  If you’ve set aside (or never started) the habit of spending time in God’s Word and prayer, restart. Physical exercise is helpful; spiritual exercise is the best. Resist the tyranny of the urgent. Instead, renew a fresh awareness of God’s power and presence in your life. Learn to pray for others, too.

  Grow in gratitude. I’ve found that if I’ll take the time to write notes of gratitude, it lifts up my spirit and recharges me. We must learn to thank God for even the “little” blessings and work at turning our focus from the negative to the positive. It’s easy to let negative things dominate our time and thoughts. When we stop letting them control us, when we start spending more time with positive/grateful people, our emotional state dramatically improves. Serving others does the same thing, getting our mind off ourselves. There’s something very powerful about serving others. It’s regenerating. Depressed individuals are self-absorbed, yet serving others is medicine to our souls. 

  Learn to have fun. There’s a world of difference between taking life seriously and taking myself too seriously. Most of us need to learn to lighten up, to laugh more, to do something unplanned, even spontaneous. When we do, we find ourselves rejoicing in the Lord more.

  Remember the famous entertainer, Frank Sinatra? He was known for his song, I Did It My Way. Sadly, his last words before he died were, “I’m losing it.” Even Frank Sinatra didn’t have power over life and death. He wasn’t God and couldn’t control the timing of his own death. If you’re a believer, God is your Father and He has it all under control. We can trust Him. As we do, we learn to rest in Him more and more. 

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