Christmas Stress

 “Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: 

Peace on Earth, Good Will to Men and Batteries are not included.

  A few days before Christmas two men in Florida decided to go sailing while their wives went Christmas shopping. While these guys were out sailing a terrible storm arose. They had great difficulty keeping their boat under control. As they maneuvered their way back to land their boat got grounded on a sandbar. Finally, they had to jump overboard and push with all their might trying to get their boat into deeper water. As they did the wind was blowing terribly, the waves were rushing on them, they were soaking wet and knee-deep in mud. But then one of the guys looked at his buddy and said, “You know it sure beats Christmas shopping though.”  

  Too often what should be the most wonderful season of the year, the time of year that should bring us joy and warm our hearts, instead often brings stress, anger, headaches and depression. The stress associated with Christmas can make what should be a joyous time of year a miserable mess. Because of this, many (maybe that’s you) actually dread Christmas. The stress that can plague us at this time of the year are rooted in three basic sources; Time (getting everything done), Money (paying for it) and Emotions (conflict with family and past painful memories that resurface).

  Through the years I’ve suffered from all three of those. You’d think that if you had some bad Christmas memories from growing up, you’d write new chapters in adulthood. I wish that were true. There are some pages though from raising my own children that are worthy of a good book burning or at least chapter burning. I’m so glad God is gracious and my own family is forgiving. Let me share some thoughts for a less stressful Christmas.

  Remember, it really is all about Jesus. Ask most people what Christmas is about and you’ll hear a myriad of answers. Sadly, what’s lost in the Christmas rush is that it’s a celebration of Jesus. His miraculous birth 2,000 years ago and His birth in our hearts is the reason we celebrate Christmas. It’s not about Santa, holidays, family, gifts, food or anything else. When we look to things of this world to give the season true meaning, none of it works. Jesus is the most wonderful part of Christmas. Each time family, food, and parties get to be too much, turn your eyes back on Jesus. The world may forget, but we remember that Jesus is the reason for the season.

  We must choose to purposefully reclaim the joy of Jesus in the festive season. Jesus is the source of joy for believers. Joy is independent of outward circumstances. It rises from within and is a choice. Be overwhelmed with joy or with stress. You decide.

  No matter how many cookies you burn, candy you eat, or family criticisms you endure; determine to rejoice in the Lord. Smile when another car takes your parking spot. Laugh when the Christmas lights blow a fuse. Things go wrong. Roll with it. Keep rejoicing in Jesus because you’re celebrating His birth, after all.

  Slow down. Have you ever noticed when people are stressed not only do they do everything faster, but they talk faster? So slow down. When we’re pressured we foolishly skip on what will give us the strength to truly have peace in our hearts – time with the Lord. Please don’t do that. You don’t have to make your Quiet Time a marathon. Some days it might be more like a short sprint. It will though better prepare you for whatever is thrown at you if you start the day with the Prince of Peace. Spend time in His Word. Pray for wisdom and strength. I’ve found starting the day praying Psalm 19:14 helps me: “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.”

  Set limits. Determine your family’s limits when it comes to holiday get-togethers. As much as you may want to please everyone, determine what you and your family can handle. Put the most important events on the calendar early so you don’t overschedule.

  Set limits on spending and gift-giving. Having a budget will help you stay on track and not have a regretful January when the bills arrive. Keeping the gift-giving simple is an easy way to maintain the focus on the birth of Christ and not the commercialization of the holiday. 

  One gift that we too easily overlook can be one of our most precious gifts – T-I-M-E. Perhaps instead of this year’s hot toy, give your child an hour or two each month with just you and your child. Too many of us herd our kids when they need one on one time with us. If you know your Dad loves sports, schedule to go to a game with him. If your Mom loves a certain activity, give her the gift of time by doing with her what she loves. Go sit with a grandparent and listen to their stories (even if it’s for the 100^th time).

  Give sacrificially. Gift giving began when our generous God gave His Son as the very first Christmas gift to this world. “Thanks be to God for His inexpressible gift!” (2 Cor. 9:15). Jesus willingly gave up glories beyond our wildest imaginations to come to earth for us. He unobtrusively came into the world in a stable; amongst cattle, donkeys, and sheep. He came to give His life. He was born to die.

  When we contemplate such love and sacrifice, you’d think Christmas would be a time when people would lay aside their own demands and bend over backwards to accommodate others. Selfishness sadly often contaminates what should be a season of giving.

  As God was kind to us, even when we were His enemies (Rom. 5:10), it’s a time for us to let His kindness flow through us. It’s a time to be kind to that tired and whiny child or that sibling who can drive you nuts. After all what’s the opposite of selfishness? Grace - undeserved favor. Selfish behavior produces anger and hostility. Instead, as we have been given the gift of grace, give it to others and watch irritation and selfishness shrink.

  Over the years our family has gone out and sang carols to shut-ins or folk alone at Christmas. We take baked goods to neighbors. We look for ways to be a blessing to someone in need, usually anonymously. We always find that giving does so much for us. It changes our hearts and gives us just a glimpse of our Heavenly Father’s generosity to us.

  The peace of God can’t be purchased. It’s a gift. Peace and being stress free comes from Christ living in our hearts. Open your heart and choose to let Him give you His peace this Christmas.

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

Erasing Fear

 

“Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world.”                                                   Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Back in the wild West, a stranger stands at a saloon bar. Suddenly a cowboy runs in screaming, “Hey, everybody, Big Bad John is coming to town.” Several others exclaim: “Big Bad John is the meanest, toughest, biggest outlaw in the West. Let’s run for it.” Everyone heads for the door except the stranger and the bartender. The bartender says, “Are you deaf, Mister? Big Bad John is coming!” The stranger replies, “I don’t know who he is, but he can’t be all that big and bad. I’m not afraid.” So the stranger and the bartender wait. Soon the saloon doors fly open and off their hinges, and a mountain of a man stomps through the door. Covered with scars and sporting a scowl, he demands a drink. The bartender meekly complies. The stranger nervously thinks to himself, “Now I wish I’d run away; this guy is the biggest, meanest-looking outlaw I’ve ever seen.” The outlaw downs the drink in one gulp, slams it the glass down on the bar, then turns and looks the stranger coldly in the eye to announce, “I don’t know about you, stranger, but I’m gettin’ outta here. I don’t wanna be here when Big Bad John comes in!”

Fear is a strong and complicated emotion. It can cause us to react and overreact. It can cause us to do things, say things, and feel things quickly and powerfully. It doesn’t go away quickly, sometimes for good reason. Fear is complicated because we’re not all afraid of the same things. Sometimes we’re not even sure why we’re afraid. At other times, our bodies and minds respond with fear for a variety of reasons. Fear is universal. As 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man…”

Alasdair Groves and Winston Smith, in their book Untangling Emotions, explain that it’s insightful how many different English words we have for fear. Words like uneasy, worried, nervous, anxious, tense, uptight, spooked, haunted, scared, afraid, panicked, terrified, and petrified occupy slightly different points on the spectrum, yet all express some version of the same core experience… Fear is everywhere and everyone deals with it.  There’s not a single person who doesn’t deal with fear in some way. We must compassionately acknowledge that fear is complex and recognize that strategies for dealing with fear are also complex.

Today we’re beginning a new sermon series: Fear: The Invisible Enemy. During this series, we’ll be looking at the broad spectrum of fear. One message might be the one that you need and be life-changing for you. For others, this series might be one piece of a really big puzzle that you’re putting together. Because of the power of God’s Word and the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives, I believe that all of us will find this series helpful.

Anxiety and fear show up in surprising ways. Sometimes we don’t even know why we’re anxious. Sometimes we find ourselves going to bed feeling anxious. Other times, when we wake up we feel anxious, but nothing has happened. There are times when anxiety can be debilitating.

All of know what that’s like. For some fear is a much larger problem. Worry and fear aren’t just around the corner; they’re the clothes you wear every day, and maybe for good reason. Perhaps something traumatic happened to you, and now you find yourself being self-protective and hyper-vigilant. Others simply have a disposition—a family background, personality, physical make-up, body chemistry— that inclines them toward anxiety. And, for some, it’s not just a struggle; it’s nearly your identity. You don’t just struggle with worry; you’re a worrier.

My prayer is that this study will be used by our loving Heavenly Father to help each of us. Fear is a true enemy. And while worry, fear, and anxiety were a huge struggle before COVID-19, they’re enormous struggles now.

While fear is the invisible enemy, faith in the invisible Presence is the cure. Our Heavenly Father has promised us, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5).

The prescription for fear is the promises of God. Just this one promise, “I am always with you” means that we’re never alone, never abandoned, never deserted. God is always with us. This promise is listed as the reason that God’s people are commanded not to fear. Our Heavenly Father’s promised presence is the reason we are told not to fear.

Consider each of these words: I. Am. With. You. The sovereign God, who is orchestrating all the events of life, walks with His people through their sorrows. Isolation, abandonment, and being alone are contrary to the very nature of our humanity. How many of you remember a moment in your childhood where you were lost and you thought you were all alone? Or how many of you know the sick feeling of people not standing up for you?

Satan loves to tempt us into believing that God has abandoned us. But the Bible tells us that, while we can’t see God and while we don’t always know what He’s doing, we can rest our souls and bank our lives on the fact that He’s always with us.

Often it’s a struggle to trust His promises. Someone has referred to it as a “promise battle.” Worry and fear are a battle, but the first step in winning that battle is rehearsing over and over again who’s ultimately in control.

In this series, we’ll explore the most common worries and fears that we experience, consider practical steps for overcoming these fears, and reflect upon fear in the light of God’s Word and a faith that promises again and again that we don’t need to live in fear. We want to experience the power of God to overcome our fears and live in peace with courage and hope.

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Recipe for Disaster???

“Satan gives Adam an apple, and takes away Paradise. 

Therefore in all temptations let us consider not what he offers, but what we shall lose.”  Richard Sibbes

Many of us enjoy making some special dish at Christmas. It’s the only time of year that I make it, but at Christmas I love to make Chex Mix. While you can buy Chex Mix, it’s just not the same. And it’s very simple to make, yet you must be very conscientious about not letting it stay in the oven too long or it will burn. Not paying attention is a recipe for disaster.

  Christmas can be a recipe for disaster, a moral one. Though the message underlying Christmas is the Savior’s birth, it’s too easily set aside. Christmas, rather than being spiritually driven becomes emotionally driven.

  Hallmark cashes in on emotionalism, raking in over half a billion from their Christmas movies. Some 100 million watch Hallmark during the holidays, making it the most-watched cable network among 25-to-54-year-old women. Christmas is the season of feelings.

  At this time of year many of us are emotionally moved by our favorite Christmas songs. I know that I am. Silent Night or I’ll Be Home For Christmas, and many others can cause my eyes to mist over.

  For a myriad of reasons the holidays result in us being more emotionally driven, rather than spiritually, volitionally or intellectually driven. Please understand, God designed us with feelings. Yet, when our emotions are in the driver’s seat, we’re on dangerous turf. Since the Garden, Satan has used our emotions against us, gaining entry into our lives. Scripture refers to this as the “lust of the flesh” (1 Jn 2:15). Jesus resisted this attack in Matthew 4 and we can too, but we must be biblically wise.  

  Many of us are vulnerable because the season is so emotionally charged. If we’re not spiritually prepared, holiday parties can be fraught with moral danger carrying lifetime wreckage. The statistics are tragic! In a survey conducted by Men’s Health magazine 44% of the males said they’d had an affair with a co-worker at a holiday office party at least once in their life. A survey conducted by Canon revealed that 1/3 of the workers either kissed a co-worker or ended-up going home with them after the company party. Nearly 25% of the female employees in one study said their boss made a pass at them during the Christmas party.

  But it’s not just workplace parties that can make us more susceptible to immorality. Family and neighborhood parties can be spiritually deadly, too.

  The Bible contains horrible accounts of familial sexual sin. Amnon raped his half-sister, Tamar (2 Sam. 13). Lot’s daughters conspired to get him drunk so they could sleep with him (Gen. 19). Noah was oblivious that he was publicly naked after becoming inebriated, losing his family’s respect (Gen. 9). It’s part of why God’s Word commands us: “You shall not covet your neighbor’s…wife, or his male servant, or his female servant.”

  God though doesn’t want a bunch of killjoys. His will for us isn’t some stained glass cave. For example, over 100 people are killed in car accidents each day. It doesn’t mean we should trade in our car for a horse and buggy.

  Celebration is a vital part of life. The people of God in the Old Testament celebrated with regular festivals. One of Jesus’ greatest stories (Luke 15:11-31) was of a huge celebration, when the prodigal son returned and his Dad said, “Let’s have a feast and celebrate.” Holiday parties are great Kingdom opportunities. Here are some suggestions to help you keep them Christ-honoring.

  If you’re married (and if possible), take your spouse. Marriage is God’s gift to us. It’s heartbreaking that so many have never seen a healthy marriage, much less a Christian one. We’re to be distinctly different in our marriage, not because we’re nice…but because we’re redeemed.

  It’s not a sin to drink. It’s a sin to be intoxicated. Jesus created wine at a wedding. It wasn’t the cheap stuff. Good food and wine are God-given pleasures, as is intimacy in marriage. Yet, Scripture prohibits drunkenness.

  Be a good leaver. At the first company Christmas party that I intended, the foreman became a drunken fool. It grew worse as the night went on. I’ve found that if I leave early, I rarely see that. Then, my friends are not embarrassed the next day at things they said or did in front of me.

  Remember WHO you represent. We’re ambassadors for Christ (2 Cor. 5:20). It’s not a Sunday gig. We’re 24-7, round the clock representatives of our Savior, whatever the occasion and whoever we’re with. Our words and actions reflect on King Jesus. Have a great time, yet never at His expense.

  Commit the event to the Lord beforehand. Before we go, we can do spiritual groundwork. You can pray for God’s blessing over the festivities, the safety of those who take part and for grace as you seek to be salt and light. Ask Him to help you be a channel of His love and a fountain of encouragement and blessing to all who will attend, even the wait staff. 

  Speak up yet speak wisely. These events can be times for loose lips and dumb deeds. Often all it takes is redirecting a gossipy or cruel conversation about someone absent. A voice of caution might keep someone from doing something they’ll regret later and possibly keep someone from getting hurt or someone’s property being seriously damaged.

  Graciously share Who’s birthday is being celebrated. It’s not the time to climb on a table and preach. Yet, I’ve found that talking about the Savior is more of a natural talking point at Christmas. These parties are when you may find yourself talking to someone you don’t normally interact with and about more meaningful things than the weather. For me, it can be something simple like discovering the holidays are difficult for them or they’re carrying a burden, and assuring them I’ll be praying for them. Social events have often been the start of a lifelong friendship for me.

  Have fun! “A merry heart does good like medicine” (Prov. 17:22). I have to think that Jesus was pleasant to be around. Why else was He invited to so many parties? God doesn’t want us to be sour grapes, but people of His grace. Being Christlike means being incarnational like Jesus. Our Lord came into this world as one of us and wants us to be part of ours, making a difference. Even Christmas parties are an opportunity to serve Him!

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.