Forgiveness

 

“Every one says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive.”   C. S. Lewis

 After getting married in Texas, a former Oklahoma resident recently learned she was a wanted woman. While attempting to update her driver’s license with her new name, Caron McBride had a government official tell her she had an outstanding warrant in Oklahoma. “The first thing she told me was felony embezzlement, so, I thought I was gonna have a heart attack,” McBride said. After investigating, she learned the felony warrant had been issued in 2000 when a video rental store claimed she didn’t return a VHS tape of Sabrina the Teenage Witch. McBride said she’s never watched the show but her former boyfriend may have forgotten to return the rental. The rental store in Norman, Oklahoma closed in 2008. After examining the file, the local district attorney dismissed the case in April. 

  Caron McBride said the embezzlement charge also explains why she’s been abruptly fired from multiple jobs over the past 20 years. “This is why… because when they ran my criminal background check, all they’re seeing is those two words: felony embezzlement.” 

  Ours is a world that knows little of forgiveness. Foolish antics or words from decades past can cost someone their career, even if they were done during the immaturity of adolescence. Periodically something as innocuous as an unreturned VHS tape or library book causes major issues. 

  The word “forgive” means to wipe the slate clean, to pardon, to cancel a debt. When we wrong someone, we seek their forgiveness in order for the relationship to be restored. Forgiveness is not granted because a person deserves to be forgiven. No one deserves to be forgiven. Forgiveness is an act of love, mercy, and grace. Forgiveness is a decision to not hold something against another person, despite what they have done to you. 

  Forgiveness distinguishes Christianity from all other religions. In Christianity according to the Bible sin is forgiven by the substitutionary death of Jesus on the cross. “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through [the death of] Christ  Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death” (Romans 8:1). According to the Bible, when one is saved through the blood of Jesus, all one’s sins are completely forgiven.  No good deed can possibly bring about this forgiveness. It’s an act of God based on the sacrifice of His Son and God’s forgiveness is complete and unconditional. 

  But not only do we all sin against God, we're all sinned against by other people. We aren’t just the perpetrators of sin—we are also the victims of it. Someone you thought that you could trust hurt you. Someone said cruel things about you to your face or worse, behind your back. Someone took advantage of you financially and they didn’t care what hardship it would bring to you or your family. A parent withheld the affection and love you desperately needed. A spouse left or betrayed you. A co-worker took credit for your work. The list is endless. 

  It’s why we all face the challenge of forgiving others.  Forgiving others is not easy.  It’s much easier to seek revenge or live in bitterness. Because God has forgiven us, Christians are called to forgive as they’ve been forgiven. Since we’ve been forgiven by God of a greater debt than anyone will ever owe us, we must forgive (Ephesians 4:31-21). Someone who refuses to forgive doesn’t know God and hasn’t experienced His grace. 

  Forgiveness doesn’t mean that we agree with another’s sin against us or that we dismiss it as unimportant. Nor are we to compromise our Christian convictions or become a codependent doormat, allowing people to walk all over us. Forgiveness does mean, however, that we will choose not to carry a grudge against someone for their having offended us.  

  Because Christians can forgive in the strength and power of the gospel, they have the ability to forgive anyone who sins against them. Jesus commands us to, “Love our enemies.” He says, “Bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you” (Matthew 5:44). We must forgive and we must forgive continually. You may be asking, “How in the world is that possible? How can I forgive and not hold a grudge?” It’s only by God’s grace. His grace that forgave you enables you to forgive someone else. 

  The Grossmeyers went on a peace-making mission in Poland a few years after World War II. They were emissaries of Christians in Germany and went to Christians in Poland and asked, “Would you be willing to meet with some Christians from West Germany? They want to ask you for forgiveness for what Germany did during the war and begin a new relationship. Would you meet with them?” There was a long silence. Then one of the Polish Christians said, “What you ask is impossible. Every stone of Warsaw is soaked with Polish blood that they spilled. We cannot forgive.” And the Grossmeyers understood their emotional response. They knew what had happened. 

  They finished their visit and were about to leave but they asked if they could conclude their time together by gathering and praying The Lord’s Prayer in unison. These Polish Christians grudgingly agreed. So, these believers knelt down and prayed as Christians have in every country, through every century for 2,000 years: “Our Father in heaven, Hallowed be Your name, Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us today our daily bread—and… They stopped. They couldn’t pray anymore. There was a long tense silence in the room and finally the one who said they couldn’t forgive said, “I must say ‘yes’ to your request because if I don’t forgive, I can no longer pray this prayer. I can no longer call myself God’s child if I don’t forgive. Humanly speaking, I can’t do it. But God will give me the strength.” So, they finished the prayer—and 18 months later, Polish Christians and West German Christians met in Vienna and established a friendship that lasts to this day. 

  I wonder how many marriages might have been transformed or how many friendships, families or churches might have been similarly healed if when the Lord’s Prayer was prayed believers just stopped at that line as those Polish Christians did and let the Spirit work. 

  Friend, you’ll never have to forgive someone more than God forgave you. Let God use that reality to begin to thaw your heart toward that person. Whenever we forgive—whenever a relationship is healed it’s a wonderful thing—a powerful thing—a miraculous thing! It’s a God thing because only God truly knows, teaches, and can enable us to forgive.

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.