Suicide: Shattered Hearts

 

“My experience with depressed people is that when they have suffered from long periods of depression and begin to talk about suicide, we had better pay attention.”  Curtis Thomas

In his newest album released earlier this year, Matthew West, shares a song about a boy in his daughter’s school who committed suicide. The young man, Sam, was just a sixth-grade student. As you can imagine, the whole school was just stunned. Sam sat in class with West’s daughter, Lulu. It’s a nice little Christian school in the Bible belt down South. This young boy was fighting a battle and couldn’t see his way out of it. The song is simple, powerful, and moving – Too Young, Too Soon.  

Loss by suicide is always too soon. September is National Suicide Prevention Month. Our country’s suicide rate reached historic highs prior to the COVID-19 pandemic, with rates at the highest levels since World War II. Recent economic and social pressures have heightened the risks, worrying experts, health officials and lawmakers. Suicide rates that were rising over the past two decades combined with the current pandemic are a “perfect storm,” found a study published in The Journal of the American Medical Association in April. Factors include financial stress, social isolation, reduced access to religious services, overall national anxiety, increased firearm sales and increases in health care provider suicides.

“We have people now who don't know how to feed their family who have not had that thought for a very long time. That's different than the last recession," said American Psychiatric Association President Jeffrey Geller. “There are masses of people who are quite worried today because they don't know what is going to happen to their benefits. That kind of anxiety exacerbates fragility.” The National Alliance on Mental Illness HelpLine has seen a 65% increase in calls and emails since March, according to the organization, though it is not a crisis hotline.

No one is immune from suicidal thoughts and anyone is capable of suicide: rich, poor, married, single, young, old, famous or unknown, atheists…even pastors. I still find my chest tightens when I think of Darrin Patrick, a megachurch pastor and author, who died from a self-inflicted gunshot this past May. Just a few years ago I heard him preach at John Piper’s Pastors’ Conference in Minneapolis. In 2013, Rick Warren’s 27-year-old son, Matthew, took his own life. All of us who loved his “out of this world” talent will never forget the tragic death of Robin Williams.

Though Scripture never says that the Apostle Paul had suicidal thoughts, we do know that he “despaired of life” (2 Cor. 1:8). In my own life, I have had to face what John Bunyan (The Pilgrim’s Progress) called “the Giant Despair” and “the slough of despond.” So, what can we do?

Let me share what has helped me through the years as I’ve walked through my own dark valleys. As a believer, I believe that even if I sinned by committing self-murder, I would immediately be Home with my Savior. The Bible promises that if one has committed their life to Christ and trusted His cross for their salvation, that person has eternal life (John 3:16). There is no fine print or exception to those promises.

For me, the thought of looking in the eyes of Missionaries John and Betty Stam, who were decapitated for their faith, or Jim Elliot who was murdered by the Aucas Indians in the jungles of Ecuador as he sought to reach that stone age people group with the gospel and telling them that my life was “too tough” is always an emotional wake-up call. Then, Foxes Book of Martyrs shares account after account of those from Church History who were persecuted, often martyred, yet persevered for the cause of Christ. Hebrews 11:35-38 lists out all that the people of God suffered for Him. For me to face that “great cloud of witnesses” (Heb. 12:1) and tell them that God’s grace wasn’t sufficient for me and I couldn’t handle my small problems in comparison, it’s more shame that I could face. If God’s grace was enough for them, then it is more than enough for me!

If you struggle with depression or suicidal thoughts, let me suggest some simple steps (it’s not earth-shattering): get out of bed, open the blinds and let God’s glorious sunshine in, take a shower, and get dressed. It’s amazing what these small steps can do for our outlook. And doing something kind for someone else will give you a bonus of upbeat vibes in your own heart.

How can we help those who are depressed or hopeless? Often we don’t know what others are going through. One thing is certain, everyone we meet is facing a battle. Matthew West shares some great advice in his song: 

Be kind, speak love

Go find someone

Who needs a friend

Reach out your hand

Don't point, don't laugh

Life’s too short for that

No cliques, start now

No one left out.

I’ve said over and over again throughout this Pandemic, #ThisisOURtime. It’s time for the Church to be the Church. It’s time for Christians to act like Christians. We must be people of love and kindness. My own burdens have been eased so many times by the many brothers and sisters in Christ that God has brought into my life, who cared enough to reach out to me and who have spoken into my life.

Personally, I don’t believe in accidents, I believe in “divine appointments.” God has brought that neighbor, co-worker, friend, family member or stranger into YOUR life. It is our time to be Jesus to them.

Sometimes we notice a struggle that something is off. The greatest and best thing that we can always do is – we can pray! Then, drop a short note or a make a phone call. You don’t have to probe. Just touch base. Let them know that you care. Texts are fine. Yet, a note that someone has to touch and can reflect on will often go further.

While I appreciate those who say (or post), “call me anytime,” someone greatly depressed is rarely going to initiate a call. We need to take the first step. Then, without lecturing and certainly without scolding, offer hope.

As believers, we have what Titus 2:13 calls “the blessed hope.” Everything in this world, even the worst it can throw at us is temporary…and we’re all going to get Home before dark! So, please reach out and touch someone’s life this week. Show Christ’s love! Your caring and being Jesus to them might be all that it takes to give them hope and keep them from making a tragic irreversible choice.  

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.