“As the Lord loveth a cheerful giver, so likewise a cheerful thanksgiver.”
John Eliff
This is a little embarrassing, yet, I’ve found when you need to do something, dive in. It’s an area that the Spirit has convicted me about. Godly friends have encouraged me, telling me they’ve seen growth in this area of my Christian walk, yet I know I have a long way to go. Preaching about ministry at Bill Lincoln’s Installation Service a few weeks ago made me aware that I owe you an apology. What’s my struggle? Gratitude, telling others I appreciate them, saying “thank you.” Unfortunately, it’s not one of my strengths. A growing spirit of gratitude is truly the Spirit working in me. Forward steps of sanctification are a God-thing in my life.
Please understand, I’m not excusing my failure. I’m an adult. Children are victims, adults are volunteers. That means that adults must take responsibility for who they are, and then by God’s grace, choose to change.
So, this is also for parents who want to help their children become godly adults. Gratitude wasn’t modeled for me. It may seem hard to believe, but I wasn’t taught to say, “Thank you!” I can’t remember ever being encouraged to write a thank you note. While it may have happened, I don’t remember anyone in my home expressing gratitude of any kind.
But what was modeled was harshness, pettiness and a constant barrage of criticism. Nothing was ever good enough. There was no affirmation or encouragement. Because it wasn’t modeled during those formative years, it’s a missing part that I’ve had to learn and develop as an adult. Please help your children’s future by encouraging and modeling gratitude today.
And wonderfully, God blessed me with a wife who has a strength where I have a weakness. Add to that, through the years Jane has lovingly put up with my ineptness in this area.
The bottom line though is that I’ve failed you, terribly in this area. Over the years, I’ve not told you nearly enough as my church family how grateful I am for you! Though I haven’t verbalized it, words are not enough to express how much I love our church and how thankful I am for you!
I know that I’m rough around the edges, yet you are so continually gracious and kind to me. I’ve often quipped, “God has a sense of humor – He put me in the ministry.” Many colleagues in ministry ooze kindness and graciousness. It’s not my default setting. Yet, even though I may not say it, I am so thankful for you! Here are just a few of the many reasons.
You’re gracious when I teach the tough stuff from Scripture. At Grace, we’re committed to expository preaching and systematically working through a book of the Bible. Because of that approach, we often deal with truths in Scripture that’d be easier to skip. They confront us, rattle us and make us uncomfortable. Yet, we can’t dodge them because they’re part of God’s written revelation. When some of my friends preach through a tough text, they get push back. Not me. It’s very rare that I have anyone ever question what I shared in a sermon or a Pastor’s Pen. In fact, quite the opposite. Often, I’m thanked or encouraged for saying the “hard things.”
You’re so kind to my family. Then, I have friends in the ministry whose wives or children are brutalized by their churches. Some have become so discouraged that they left the church and even the ministry.
As you know, Jane is not just my wife, she’s my best friend. I don’t know if I could stay in the ministry if I went through what some of my friends have. Yet, you are so kind to Jane! My wife is not just the “pastor’s wife,” she’s surrounded by loving sisters and brothers. It’s been very, very rare for something harsh or unkind to be said either to or about Jane.
Add to that, you allowed my children to be…children. They weren’t and aren’t perfect, yet you’ve been so kind to them. Only very, very rarely (like almost never) did we hear, “Pastor’s kids should…” When they were young and we had ministry responsibilities which required both Jane and me to attend, many were willing to babysit. Our children were continually encouraged and affirmed. That’s why they love and appreciate you because you’ve been so kind and loving to them. Recently, when Aaron got married in Taiwan, our family was overwhelmed at your thoughtfulness.
You encourage me to take breaks. Periodically, I’ll have a pastor friend call me who is being criticized about his vacation or taking time off. Yet, I’m encouraged to rest, take time off, and go on vacation…not do more.
Our godly leadership is a continual blessing! In my thirty years at Grace, I’ve been so blessed with godly, committed leadership. In many churches, leadership meetings are huge arguments and fights. It’s not uncommon for people to leave in a huff. While there are strong opinions, differences and disagreements among our leadership, we’ve been free of politicking, and carnal, self-willed agendas. I’m grateful for godly leaders who think outside of the box, who can differ without being divisive. They know how to have an opinion without being opinionated. Sometimes there’s a need for confidentiality. We’re blessed with those who practice discretion.
Over the years I’ve appreciated being privately pulled aside and graciously corrected because I was off track. And over the years, I’ve been able to graciously correct, yet not offend. It’s living out, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend…” (Proverbs 27:6).
In 1988 when our little family pulled into Burlington, I never imagined that God’s plan would be for us to serve the Lord here for 30 years. Now I can’t imagine serving the Lord anywhere else! I’m very blessed. I have the greatest church family! I love you and am so thankful for each of you…even though I drop the ball and don’t tell you enough. Thank you for putting up with my shortcomings. By His grace, I’m growing in this area.
Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.
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