Is it okay to miss?

 “A church isn't a group of friends you’ve picked, it’s a group of brothers and sisters God has picked for you.” Michael Scott Horton 

Do you have a regular family dinner? Did you have one when you were growing up? Was the family or extended family gathering for Sunday dinner your tradition?  Because of growing up in a home with virtually no Sunday traditions, family traditions, and healthy family relationships get my attention. It’s just not my history. Family gatherings of any kind just didn’t happen. For most of my teenage years I attended church alone…

  It’s one of the reasons that I enjoy the TV series, Blue Bloods. While Tom Selleck has been a favorite actor for me since his Magnum P.I. days, I love the family dinner scenes in Blue Bloods. They may be disagreeing or at odds with each other, yet every Sunday the Reagan family gathers around the family dinner table. On top of that, every family member participates with different ones being responsible for the food.

  Last Sunday Jane and I were on a “staycation.” When we planned it, we didn’t know it was going to be time change Sunday. And then, it’s Wisconsin so it snowed…so we lost an hour of sleep and the drive to whatever church we chose to worship at was going to be more difficult to get to because of road conditions.

  We looked at websites of some churches pastored by friends and those with our DNA of ministry. With the potential of bad roads, we didn’t want to travel too far. One friend was out of town. Another was doing a series on parenting. Add to that, I didn’t sleep well so when I woke up, I was very tempted to attend “Bedside Baptist with Pastor Sheets.” Or, as many have been doing in a post-Covid world, attend “Lazy-boy Church.”

  But I got convicted and knew that I needed to get out of bed and we drove to an area church. I’m so glad we did! What a blessing! It was a great message! The music stirred our hearts! Because we have several friends who are part of this church family, we were able to reconnect with them.

  Unbeknownst to us, that church was having a major congregational vote on leaving their denomination that day because of apostasy. It was a very emotional day for my pastor friend and his church. So Jane and I were blessed and then we were able to be a blessing…and to think that I seriously considered only thinking of myself and skipping.

  It is virtually impossible to be a healthy growing Christian without faithfully attending the worship services of a local church. It’s not enough to be a Christian and love Jesus. If you love Jesus, you love His family. If you love His family, you want to spend time with them. Yet, there has never been a time in history when it’s more difficult to faithfully attend. There are so many other options, opportunities or obligations to our already overflowing schedules.  

  Please understand. I don’t want to guilt-trip anyone. We need to faithfully attend worship services because we want to please the Lord and love Him, not because we feel guilty or pressured. Yet, our struggles with faithfully attending worship services aren’t totally new.

  The early church was largely composed of slaves and those on the socioeconomic fringes of society. As many as one-third of people living in first-century Greco-Roman society were slaves. A large percentage of those slaves were believers. It’s why they either met early in the morning before the work day began or late at night when it was over. Gathering for corporate worship either had to be before or after the long work day.

  Gathering for corporate worship is rarely convenient. There’s always something else going on. Some are required to work. It’s either work on Sunday morning or be terminated.  

  Most situations though don’t carry that much weight. Just a few years ago pastors felt pressure to be done by noon so the congregation could be home for the Sunday kick-off. Now it’s not noon. It’s youth sports, drama practices, dance recitals, etc. that all meet on Sunday morning. Or suggest to your family that maybe they could start the birthday party for little Matilda a little later so you attend church and they’ll look at you like you just got in from Mars.

  Our culture has moved from very few options to an overwhelming amount. Sunday is just another day. So we have to choose. We can’t have it all or do it all. Sometimes we need to give a little pushback to the culture and needless pressures.

  For example, if your company is asking you to work, if you’re an employee with a good reputation, most will give some flexibility for attending church. Think of all the other reasons that other employees miss or don’t show up. An honest conversation can go a long way.

  Then, what about other youth activities? First, I’d suggest an honest conversation with the leaders or organizers and try to attend the 9 am service. Second, what will have more long-term life value for your child?

  Over the years I’ve known some very talented young athletes. Because they were so gifted, their parents had them in a traveling team. Yet, none went on to play professionally or even play in college. Perhaps because church was lowered on the priorities, as far as I know, none of those talented athletes attend a church of any kind.

  Will church attendance make a difference? Well, where else are we encouraged to focus on what has eternal benefits? Where else are we encouraged to be a better spouse or a person of character? Where else are we encouraged to be ethical, gracious and care for others? Where else are we encouraged to be have a biblical worldview and an ethic of morality?

  Hopefully, those things are taking place in your marriage and home. One reason Scripture so emphasizes the local church is that it’s in the community of God’s people with the echoing of eternal values and godly behavior that we grow spiritually. It helps cement these things in our hearts and the hearts of our children.

  Yet please don’t just attend. Get involved, serve. Find a place for your children to serve. Because in serving we learn to think of others. It also helps our children develop friendships with other Christian adults that they will have after they become adults themselves. While Couch Church is increasingly convenient, the long term price for own hearts is too high! 

Can we help you spiritually? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.