The Danger of ANGER

“Satan recognizes anger as a fertile field, capable of producing all kinds of sin.”      Bob Deffinbaugh 

Two men, driving in Southern California, got into a battle of road rage after one cut the other off in a parking lot. The hot-headed men sped out of the parking lot in a fit of anger, chasing, driving recklessly, dodging, and weaving in and out of traffic. They endangered a lot of lives before one finally forced the other to careen out of control. The driver frantically tried to regain control, but in the process, an innocent little girl on a nearby sidewalk was killed. A young life was taken simply because two men became needlessly angry at each other. The danger of anger!

It’s estimated that the average man loses his temper six times a week. The average woman loses her temper three times a week. Women are angry more often at people, men at things (for example, machines when they break down). Single adults express anger twice as often as married adults. Men tend to be more physical with their anger than women. You’re more likely to express anger at home than anywhere else. And sadly, anger is most frequent and intense towards those we love, not toward strangers. 

With the Pandemic a new term was coined, corona-rage. Add the vitriol of an upcoming election and the meanness of politics, racial division, economic pressure – and our culture is an inferno for the incensed.  

I wish I could say that anger is not an issue for me. I am so thankful though for the work God has done in my life. Though I sometimes struggle to not hit my internal nuke button, I’m light years ahead of what I once was. It is truly because of God’s grace and the Spirit’s control.

It’s embarrassing to admit that when Jane and I were first married and living in Detroit, someone gave me a one-finger wave. I had a meltdown. I was so angry that I followed them for several miles. I’m not sure what I’d have done if they had pulled over and confronted me. Fortunately, they didn’t. After about five minutes Jane graciously asked, “How long do you intend to follow them?” It pricked my soul and I quit following them.

Probably each of us was angry at least once this past week. It may have been minor frustration with another driver or being irritated with your kids for not putting away their toys. It could have been a situation at work. Some couples live immersed in daily anger and hurt feelings. Some parents and children are in a constant battle of outbursts and abusive words. Many adults have scars from childhood that bubble to the surface. Each time they think about them, they seethe again with anger.

Christian counselor, Jay Adams, states, “Anger is a problem for every Christian; sinful anger is probably involved in 90% of all counseling problems.” Consider how different our world would be if everyone learned to deal with their anger! Child abuse and divorce would be eradicated. Murder, terrorism, and war would cease. Many health problems would clear up. Physicians believe anger can harm the heart as much as smoking or high blood pressure. The number one predictor of cardiovascular disease is mismanaged anger. Anger causes many serious health problems.

Anger is contagious. If we’re around it too much, we become more prone to become angry. In relationships where sinful anger is a struggle, hanging around those who are angry only inflames it. Proverbs 22:24, “Make no friendship with a man given to anger.” If anger is your struggle, look for friends who tend to be peaceful. Their influence will help you have victory.

You’re not a victim. You can control your sinful anger. Anger is a choice. Yet, we often say to our spouse or children, “you make me so mad.” No, they don’t. You chose to give in to anger. Because if our anger was uncontrollable, Scripture wouldn’t command us to control it and God wouldn’t hold us accountable for it.

The Bible is filled with commands about controlling anger. The book of Proverbs has over a dozen verses about keeping your temper reigned in. Your own experience proves that you can control your anger. We’ve all controlled our anger—instantly turned it off—when we wanted to. For example, if your boss does something that makes your blood boil, but you know if you explode, it will cost you your job, so you control your anger.

Recognize and confess sinful anger and submit it to God’s control. Before you can deal with anger, you must recognize that you’re angry, that it’s sin, and you’re responsible for it. It’s wise for us to ask those who love us, “Am I an angry person?” (Don’t get angry if they tell you the truth!)

Many Christians deny or rationalize their anger. Rather than confessing it as sin and turning from it, they accept it as “normal.” It’s not. The cure begins when you’re angry that you acknowledge, “I’ve sinned” (Ps. 51:4).   Confessing it means accepting responsibility and taking appropriate action to turn from it. It means going to the one you were angry with and asking forgiveness. We must believe that God sovereignly out of His goodness allowed whatever happened for our good, so we submit joyfully to His mighty hand, asking Him to teach us what I need to learn from this trial.

Deal radically and decisively with sinful anger. A passive approach won’t work. You must confront it head on. It won’t go away by itself. To deal with anger, you must develop a biblical strategy. 

First (and foremost!), make sure that you’ve trusted in Jesus Christ to forgive your sins and give you eternal life. The minute you believe in Christ, you receive the Holy Spirit who takes up permanent residence in your heart. You must learn to walk in moment by moment dependence on the Spirit, yielding control of your life to Him. You’ll find that memorizing key Bible verses that relate to anger will help in being armed to combat it.

Second, when you sin by being angry, go to the person and humbly ask for forgiveness. Humbling ourselves and taking responsibility becomes a barrier to not succumbing in the future.

Finally, pray for those that you struggle with being angry at (Mt. 5:44).

Have you spoken words in anger? Have you asked God to forgive you? If you’ve spoken words in anger that you know wounded someone, go to them and apologize, taking full responsibility. It might be what God uses to touch their heart and bring them closer to God. One thing is certain. It will bring you into closer fellowship with Jesus when your heart is free!

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.