Sunday, November 17, 2019

The Field of NEW Dreams!



“Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment
until it becomes a memory.”

  It seems that nearly every snowstorm, my friend, Tim Mocarski, posts on his Facebook wall, “Pitchers and catchers report in __ of days.” As we’re having a bit of “November-mas,” let me share a story happening next summer. On August 13th of 2020, the Chicago White Sox and New York Yankees will play in Dyersville, Iowa,—that field made famous by the movie, Field of Dreams. It’s being dubbed “MLB at Field of Dreams.”
  It’s one of my favorite movies. If you’re like me, it brings tears to my eyes every time. Though called “a baseball flick,” the real story is father-son relationships. At the end, Kevin Costner’s character asks his dad, “Have a catch?” World Magazine editor, Marvin Olasky writing on this:
  “My lifetime catches with my father: zero. He had no interest in baseball. I never played until I was 11. At that point I was a fat kid with a lazy left eye, so my batting average during one year of Little League was .182, if I generously count as hits what were probably errors. Still, I wanted to get better. Become a better fielder. So I nagged my father to come out on the street and throw me some ground balls. I said ‘street’ because we lived in urban Massachusetts and had no back yard or nearby green space. That meant a missed ball would go rolling and rolling. One day, finally, my father agreed. We stood in front of the house in which we had an apartment. I walked 20 yards away. He threw me a ball that bounced twice before it should have hit my glove—and I missed it. Embarrassed, and blaming my father rather than myself, I ran after it, yelling something like, ‘Why didn’t you throw it straight?’ By the time I reached the ball and turned around, he was walking up the steps to our front door. He went inside. That was it. We never again even started a catch. Nor did we talk much—and once I became a teenager, we spoke hardly at all.
  Cut to October, 1984. I was 34. He was 67—and dying of bladder cancer. I lived 2,000 miles away and flew to Boston with the public goal of providing some comfort and help, but my private motive was selfish: To learn how he’d transformed from a brilliant student to a person who had spent the last 30 years disengaged and defeated. One evening we sat on a Danish Modern couch in their apartment. After some perfunctory remarks I threw him a question about his dropping out of graduate school. The question was harder and curvier than a polite inquiry should have been. He got up and walked away, saying over his shoulder something like, ‘Why don’t you mind your own business?’ I put away the conversational ball and went to sleep. The next day I asked no more questions. My father and mother drove me to Boston’s Logan Airport. He wore a baseball cap because chemotherapy had left him bald. I pulled my suitcase out of the trunk, shook his hand, leaned over, and whispered in his ear, ‘I love you,’ because that seemed the right thing to say to a dying parent. I never saw him again.
  This October is the 35th anniversary of our non-conversation. It still haunts me. In the magic of Field of Dreams, the son and the dad finally have a catch. That catches my tears, every time.”
  That touched me. One of the great regrets of my own life is the fractured relationship with my Dad. During my formative years he was a great business success, yet a prescription drug addict. Later he cleaned up his life and even became very active in his church. But he and I seemed unable to ever resolve our unresolved issues. Though I’d love to point a finger at him, like Marvin Olasky, I’m sure there are many fingers pointing back at me. And now that my Dad is gone, it truly is unresolvable. There’s not anything specific that I know of, yet I’ve prayed to my Heavenly Father, “to the extent that I sinned in my relationship with my Dad, please forgive me.” Based on Scripture’s promise in 1 John 1:9, I know that God has.  
  Some situations, as Romans 12:19 reminds us (“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all”), are unresolvable. Yet, many others are. And if you can, please do solve them. Still, many others should just be buried and forever forgotten.
  Looking back I truly believe my Dad did the best he could and he really did a lot for me. His own father was a drunk, horribly abusive and even ended up for a time on a Georgia chain gang. Yet, my Dad paid for his children to attend private schools and also paid for me to attend high school in Wisconsin. He didn’t have to. Yes, he was difficult to live with and left scars on our lives. Yet, I truly believe it was out of ignorance, not malice.
  Sadly, I know that I too have left wounds on my own children’s souls. All parents do. None of us are perfect. We’re all sinners. With my own children, I’ve sought to own my sinful failures and asked their forgiveness. I don’t want unfinished business between us.
  As we come into the Holiday Season old wounds tend to resurface. Many of us need to forgive and move on. As believers, we ourselves have already been forgiven an unpayable debt, so, we too must forgive, “forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Eph. 4:32). Most of our parents did the best that they could or knew how to do.
  As parents, though we determined to parent better than we were parented, we too have our own failures. It’s why we all need grace and grace is not something to horde, it’s given to be given away.
  During this Holiday Season when you’re tempted to let loose, remember again how much grace you’ve received. Not only that, you and I would not be who God has shaped us into if we’d not first been wounded. Years ago I determined to have the spirit the Patriarch Joseph had toward all of the evil his brothers had done to Him, “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good…” (Gen. 50:20). That’s so freeing!
  Whether it's a parent or a sibling – choose to be a person of grace! While we can’t change yesterday’s memories, we can make new ones. If we build it, maybe they will come. Make new memories while you still can and thank God that His grace is enough for yesterday, today and tomorrow.

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address. 





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