Suicide: When the Unthinkable Becomes Real

 

“Some people suffer in silence, 

pain in the hearts but smiles on their faces.” Isha Barlas

 

  On January 30, 2022, Cheslie Kryst, committed suicide by jumping to her death from The Orion, the 60-story high-rise apartment building in Manhattan, where she lived. Her mother, April Simpkins released a statement, stating that Cheslie suffered from “high functioning depression.” Cheslie was 30 years old. 

  From a human perspective, Cheslie had everything going for her, everything that many long for and believe will bring them happiness and satisfaction. She was a model and a beauty pageant titleholder who was crowned Miss USA in May of 2019. She went on to finish in the top 10 of the Miss Universe 2019 competition. That same year, she and three other women became the first group of Black women in pageant history to hold all four major titles in a single year. Cheslie was also an attorney and had served as a correspondent for Extra from October 2019 until her death. For her work on Extra, she was nominated for two Daytime Emmy Awards. At the time of her death her net worth was estimated to be $5 million dollars.

  Following her death, the Extra correspondent’s family remembered her for inspiring others “around the world with her beauty and strength…Cheslie embodied love and served others, whether through her work as an attorney fighting for social justice, as Miss USA and as a host on Extra. But most importantly, as a daughter, sister, friend, mentor and colleague – we know her impact will live on.”

  Suicide is the 10^th leading cause of death in the United States. In 2019, there were an estimated 3.5 million people who planned a suicide, 1.4 million suicide attempts, and 47,511 suicide deaths. There were more than twice as many deaths by suicide than by homicide. Mental health problems and substance use are the most significant risk factors for suicidal behaviors. Stressful life events increase the risk of suicide.

  Suicide is the apex of hopelessness. Even in the Bible, there are at least six individuals who chose to end their own lives. Abimelech in Judges 9 asked his armor-bearer to kill him with a sword so people could not say a woman killed him. King Saul threw himself on his sword and his armor-bearer followed him in death after his sons died and he lost a battle against the Philistines. King David’s advisor, Ahithophel, chose suicide after his counsel to rebelling Absalom, David’s oldest son was rejected. The last suicide in the Old Testament was that of Zimri, a King of Israel. He’d only reigned one week before a military coup, so Zimri set himself and his palace ablaze. The only suicide in the New Testament is that of Judas.

  Many others Bible characters, including Moses, Elijah, King David, and the Apostle Paul expressed a desire to die. Many heroes in Christian History have struggled with deep depression, including Richard Baxter, Charles Spurgeon, and Dr. D. Martyn Lloyd Jones, to name a few.

  Many believers, weary of struggling, depression or dealing with the trials of life long for a premature death. Spurgeon struggled with physical pain and depression. I love his transparency and hope: “I find myself frequently depressed - perhaps more so than any other person here. And I find no better cure for that depression than to trust in the Lord with all my heart, and seek to realize afresh the power of the peace-speaking blood of Jesus, and His infinite love in dying upon the cross to put away all my transgressions.” On another occasion, observing the struggle of other Christians, Spurgeon insightfully said, “I note that some whom I greatly love and esteem, who are, in my judgment, among the very choicest of God’s people, nevertheless, travel most of the way to heaven by night.” I know that I have had my own bouts of “travelling to heaven by night.”

  While I truly appreciate those who encourage or post on social media that anyone who is having suicidal thoughts should reach out to them or call the suicide hotline, many though never will. So what can we do to help?

  As much as possible, build bridges, touch lives, be a sharer of hope. Personally, I don’t believe in accidental meetings but look at encounters as divine appointments. Wise are the words of the great Scottish preacher, John Watson, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” If anyone should be kind and known for kindness, it should be the people of God. Kindness doesn’t live in a test tube. It’s best shared in day-to-day life.

  Pray and then pray some more. When you know of a friend or acquaintance struggling, when you don’t know what else to do, pray for them. Pray for hope and healing. Ask the Lord to comfort and give your friend guidance. Invite your friend to share their heart with you and sit back and listen, and let them reveal their truth to God. Encourage them to speak about the specific things that may be hurting them. Encourage them to share a list of reasons they’re grateful. Be quiet as they answer.

  Make sure that they’re safe. If someone confides in you that they’re feeling suicidal, take it seriously. The very first step is to make sure they’re safe. Do not take what they say lightly in hopes that they won’t go through with it. Are they alone at home? Go over and sit with them. Are they threatening to harm themselves or others? Don’t hesitate to call for help from law enforcement. Call their family, roommate, or someone else you trust so that you can have extra hands on deck. While they might be angry at first, you can’t help a friend who is struggling that has ended their life.

  Help them find help. When someone is at such a low point that they’re having thoughts of death, it’s important that they get help. Some people are apprehensive to ask for help because they’re scared, feel they can handle it themselves or think they’re unworthy of assistance. Your willingness to aid them may be the only thing that nudges them to move forward. Gently ask and encourage them to get some help and have options of how they can. You might even offer to help by finding good therapists in the area. To someone with depression, these first steps can seem insurmountable.

  For the Christian, there will come a time when depression and anxiety will be fully and finally gone. When Christ returns, tears will be dried, brokenness healed, and mental illness banished, never to return. Until that day, we can rest in the simple, wonderful truths that God has declared over us: we are loved, we are held, we will be sustained until the end…and we’re all going to get Home before dark!

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.