Killing Flies with Cannons

 

“Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.” Oscar Wilde

 

  It gives a whole new meaning to the term “bad haircut.” A court in India ordered a hair salon to pay a model $271,000 to compensate her for a bad haircut. This model had been employed by hair care product firms because of her long hair, but the offending salon chopped her hair short against her instructions, causing her a huge monetary loss. India’s National Consumer Disputes Redressal Commission (NCDRC) ruled that she lost “her expected assignments and suffered a huge loss which completely changed her lifestyle and shattered her dream to be a top model. She underwent severe mental breakdown and trauma due to negligence...in cutting her hair and could not concentrate on her job and finally she lost her job.” 

  This model had gone to the hotel in 2018 to get a haircut and gave specific instructions to the staff about the look she wanted. But the hairstylist cut a major part of her hair, leaving only 4-inches from the top touching her shoulder. When she complained to the salon, she was offered a free hair treatment to make up for the mistake. The woman told the court that the treatment was “dubious and it resulted in damage of her hair. She also suffered the loss of income due to a mental breakdown after the shoddy haircut and, thereafter, the torturous hair treatment. She left her job also… She has gone through the pain and trauma for the last two years after this incident. She lost her self-esteem due to little hair.”

  Probably there was financial loss and some compensation may have been justified but her hair will grow back. What’s the old saying, “the difference between a good and a bad haircut is about two weeks.” $271,000 compensation? That’s way over the top for one bad haircut!

  Overreacting is the norm of today’s world. You’ve probably been in a restaurant where someone had a meltdown because their order was incorrect. Many of these incidents have been captured on YouTube. This world is filled with petty individuals and dramaholics.

  Sometimes these individuals find their way into our churches. Recently, I learned of an administrative assistant at an area church who each week has church attendees point out all of the mistakes she made in the church bulletin. How sad! These missionaries of misery typically overreact about things that don’t really matter, the minute details, the little goofs that have no bearing on anything of significant importance.

  Yet let’s admit it, most of us have our “shooting flies with a cannon” moments. Often, we’re toughest on ourselves. Somehow we’ve lost a grip on the reality that mistakes happen. As famed English poet, Alexander Pope, wisely observed, “to err is human.”

  Mistakes are a part of life. Who hasn’t been driving down the road and realized that they’d left their blinker on for countless miles or forgot to turn off their high beams until an oncoming driver flashed their lights at them. I find that I’m a professional at misplacing things. Often I find what I lost last when I’m looking for the current item that I’ve lost.

  Accidents happen…it’s why they’re called “accidents.” Wise parents help their children handle mistakes by not overreacting. There’s a huge difference between an accident and purposeful rebellion. For example, children spill things (so do adults). That’s completely different from a child who dumps things in anger or throws them. A response to an accident should be a different response than one for rebellion or disobedience.

  My friend, Kathy Lincoln, would wisely say: “You have to know the difference between a lump in your oatmeal, a lump in your throat, or a lump in your breast.” Most gaffes we encounter aren’t worth the angst we give them. Often they’re not permanent and are easily solvable.

  One of my favorite things to say to a clerk or food server who is horrified that they have made a mistake is: “If that’s the worst thing that happens to me today, I’ve had a good day.” Please understand I can slip into being an ogre of overreacting as well as anyone. Something though about being in innumerable ICU units and emergency rooms over the years has given me a needed sense of perspective. It’s a broken, sin-contaminated world. Mistakes are ingrained into it. How should we handle mistakes?

  See mistakes as a blessing and an opportunity to grow. David McCullough’s, The Wright Brothers, records the many failures Orville and Wilbur had before they finally succeeded in inventing the airplane. Mistakes can lead us to discover diverse ways of successfully completing a task. Without mistakes, we’d miss learning many things that make our lives so much more fulfilling.

  Mistakes can be relationship builders. Mistakes provide us with an opportunity to build relationships with those that we otherwise wouldn’t have a relationship. Seeking out help or advice after blundering is an opportunity to make a new friend. None of us are experts at everything. God designed us to need and depend on others.

  Mistakes are an opportunity to show grace. Why did Peter love Jesus so much? Because Jesus was so forgiving and patient with Peter’s continual bungling. Compassion and patience build relationships.

  Think of some of the individuals you feel closest to. Often they’re the ones who’ve shown you the most grace. Graciousness deepens our relationships and trust. One study by Jonathan Haidt of New York University showed that the more employees look up to their leaders and are moved by their kindness, the more loyal they become to him or her.

  When you make a mistake, admit it. Confucius said, “If you make a mistake and do not correct it, this is called a mistake.” James 5:16 has the best way to handle it, “Confess your faults to one another.” Don’t blame others, instead take personal responsibility. Stick to the facts and don’t make excuses. It’s not a time for humor or making light of the situation. Apologize that you blew it. If there’s damage or restitution needed, cover it. If possible, outline your new direction or decision, provide the process and timeframe for correcting future mistakes.

  We all blunder. We need to show grace when others make them and take responsibility when we make them. Thankfully, we have a forgiving Father for our countless sins. We’re to forgive others as He has forgiven us (Eph. 4:31-32). Being a forgiver is what it means to be a Christ-follower.

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.