Investing Generationally

 

“If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.” 

                                                                                Isaac Newton

 

In Homer’s epic poem The Odyssey, famed Greek soldier Odysseus is off battling in the Trojan War. Meanwhile, his son Telemachus is left with the warrior’s trusted friend, Mentor. For 20 years, Odysseus’ military campaign kept him away from home. Upon his return, he found his son a grown and mature man—thanks to Mentor’s wise and careful tutelage. 

  Over the years, Homer’s mentor has become synonymous with teaching and leading. It’s a badge given to those who serve as role models and human standards. 

  At Grace, we talk a lot about that the Bible teaches that as believers we’re a family. It must be more than rhetoric. It means that in our church we must be spiritual brothers, sisters, mothers, and fathers. If there was ever a time when a generation needed more family, more Dads, and Moms, it’s today. 

  Yet, you can’t speak into the next generation’s lives if you’re arrogant or insulting. The term “snowflake” is an offensive addition to the cultural vernacular. It’s used as an insulting way to refer to a young person who is easily offended, especially by opinions different from their own. Calling someone names won’t help build bridges or speak helpfully into the lives of the next generation. No one likes to be lectured or chewed out. 

  When I was a boy, the worst hour of my week was having my Dad take me to the barbershop. For the entire drive, there and back, he’d lecture me on what a terrible person I was and that I’d never amount to anything. Unfortunately, it was a common approach for his generation, particularly with their children. Archie Bunker was symbolic of a generation. 

  Christians must be different. We must live out 1 Timothy 4:12: “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” If we want to make a difference in young lives, we must be kind, respectful, and listen. Perhaps if we did, a younger generation would be less inclined to tune us out. 

  The Christian life is one of investing in the lives of others. Jesus did it. Moses did it. Solomon did it. Paul did it…and so must we. It’s homework that’s spread over a lifetime. It’s the assignment that counts most in the classroom of spiritual growth and leadership. Mentoring should begin early. There are always those coming behind us who could use our help. 

  Personally, I’m continually amazed at the thoughtful insights of a younger generation within our own church. We’re blessed with several young leaders who have a heart for the Lord and blessed with wisdom beyond their years. Yet, many of them are looking for a father or mother figure as they navigate marriage, child-rearing, career, etc. 

  Recently, I shared with my small group that one of my great burdens at Grace is our lack of intergenerational interaction. We have been given an opportunity to mentor, to speak into the lives of others from other generations, yet seem to be missing this opportunity. 

  There are various reasons this has developed. First, we’re most comfortable with those who are like us – chronologically, economically, maritally, even number or age of our children. It’s also how our culture typically divides. 

  Secondly, God has blessed us and we’re a growing church. As a result, we have many, many new people at our church. Very few though grew up in our church. Some churches are a “family church” where multiple generations from the same family grew up in the same church. That’s rarely the case at Grace. Instead, many are either new to Grace or even new to the area. Age is rarely a factor. We have young and old who have uprooted and transplanted to our community and our church. 

  This lack of roots makes a need for “family” much greater. Many of those who are younger in our church do not have parents, grandparents, or even siblings close by. Older adults often don’t have children or lifelong friends close by. There’s a sense of uprootedness, feeling disconnected and lonely. 

  Making new friends or connections is risky. Some, unfortunately, play it safe. Church is little more than a weekly event without being a relational family. They put their hour in and scoot quickly out the door. There’s a big problem with that. It’s not a biblical model and it’s not our DNA at Grace.

  Others find a few friends and latch on to them. It was a risk to find new friends and now that they’ve found them, they’re comfortable. Without meaning too, they become a closed circle (it’s a nice word for clique, sorry). While most of us find that we’re more comfortable with a certain circle of friends, it’s wrong to close our circle. 

  How can we fulfill the Great Commission when our circle is closed? And we easily reach a spiritual saturation point where our friends are no longer challenging us to grow spiritually and we aren’t challenging them.

  The Christian life is not to plateau. God has called us as He did the Children of Israel to possess “a land of mountains and valleys” (Deut. 11:11). If we’re not taking new ground or gaining new relationships, we’re stagnating spiritually and relationally. The Bible continually compares the Christian life to a walk. Walking requires continual forward progress.

  Some will rationalize that others aren’t friendly to them so they don’t reach out. It’s a sinful selfie perspective. Jesus commands us to serve not to be served, that includes “serving” by reaching out to make new friends.

  We need each other to grow spiritually. Each of us can mentor and be mentored. Yet, while it’s vital for our spiritual health, it pushes our comfort zones. The Christian life is not about being comfortable.

  So, let me challenge you to reach out to those you’ve not reached out to within our church. You’ll be shocked at how wonderful and interesting they are. You’ll find that you’re stretched spiritually which we constantly need.

  Here’s a simple way to start – move! Sit in a different area of the church. If you sit in the back, sit in the front. If you sit on the right, sit on the left. 

  Then, commit to having a meal once a month or once a quarter with someone outside of your normal friend circle. If you’re nervous, go to a restaurant so it will be time-limited. Just do it. Cross-generational lines. It’s an opportunity to mentor and be mentored. All of us can grow in this area. 

  One of our best models that we have at Grace of this is Montez Thompson. Though in her nineties Montez is flexible and growing. Periodically, she’ll go out with a group of ladies from Grace, all from different generations. (Subtle hint…if you want in on this, Montez loves Red Lobster). If someone in their nineties still has that kind of flexibility and vision, what’s wrong with the rest of us? Let’s do it! Please start today! 

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.