Porn: Breaking Free!

“The narcotizing effects of pornography will not be surrendered without a fight, but there is no fight evident on this culture’s horizon.” Al Mohler

  Imagine for a moment that every time you turned on the TV, a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts popped out…free. Every time that you turned on your computer, a Big Mac, fries and a shake dropped out next to you. Then, when you turned on your smartphone, candy bars started pouring from the screen. When you turned on the radio, Chick-fila sandwiches landed on your lap, steaming and hot. But it didn’t just happen to you…it happened to everyone. Do you think we might have a bigger problem with obesity in America than we already have? You better believe it.

  Recently, our seemingly innocent community was shocked when a man was apprehended taking pictures at a department store of women changing clothes in dressing rooms. Another adult sent nude pictures to minors on Snapchat. A high school shut down student email after someone sent nude pictures over it. An area minister was arrested for having intercourse with a minor, who is now an adult, from when he taught in a public high school.

  We wouldn’t be surprised at epidemic obesity if junk food was everywhere, free and readily available. So why are we shocked with sex crimes, when porn is everywhere? What should really surprise us is that there are so few crimes. The reality is that far too many are never reported.

  While we have organizations focused on underage drinking and drug abuse, sexual activity among minors is considered “normal.” Most would be shocked at how many cases of teen pregnancy there are, not to mention the percentage of adolescents in local schools with STDs. You can’t have your sexual cake and eat it too without serious societal ramifications.

  The U.S. Justice Department shared this warning: “Never before in the history of telecommunications media in the United States has so much indecent and obscene material been so easily accessible by so many minors in so many American homes with so few restrictions.” What makes the statement more sobering is that it was written in 1996—before wireless broadband, smartphones, iPads, selfies or sexting. It was before porn took over 12% of the Internet with more than 25 million sites raking in over $5 billion a year. The average age of first exposure to porn is 9 years old.

  Just in case you’re thinking this is a rant by a minister, Comedian Chris Rock, who’s never been afraid to say the unexpected, discusses his divorce from his wife of 16 years in his recent tour. He owns the blame for its collapse. Explaining what went wrong, he references his three affairs and his addiction to porn. In a review of his show, Inquisitr reported, “Rock joked about his porn addiction causing him to be 15 minutes late everywhere he went, and how the addiction caused him to not be able to look people in the eye.”

  Our culture is eroticized and too often innocent victims are paying the bill. Parents need to understand that it’s impossible to fully protect children from exposure to pornography, yet it’s possible to diminish the exposure.

  We must prepare our children to understand and talk about their exposure to pornography when it happens. So what can we do?

  Model healthy marital and sexual love. Children from their most formative years need to see that their Dad and Mom love each other. They need to see physical affection and have honest questions answered according to their maturity level. They need to be taught early on that sex is a wonderful gift from God. If the parents have love or intimacy issues, they need to address them – not just for their marriage but also for their children. If they have a porn issue themselves, they need to deal with it.

  Be the parent. We’re in a moral war zone. Parents need to have a backbone. God has not called you to be your child’s buddy. Keep the lines of communication open. Your child doesn’t need you to lecture as much as he or she needs you to listen. Without overreacting, encourage them to let you know if they’ve been or are currently engaging in pornography. If they have, remember it took courage for them to admit it. Handle it in an age appropriate manner. Let them know your home is a safeguard against condemnation. It’s a fortress of love, security, restoration and growth.

  Have reasonable house rules. You wouldn’t hand car keys to a 12-year old, why would you hand a smartphone to an immature minor? A phone is for communication. A simple one will accomplish what is truly needed.

  Would you drop a minor off in a bad neighborhood in Chicago and tell them to figure it out? If you’re paying the bill, why put a dangerous “world” in their hand? Then, set household rules such as all electronic devices turned off at a certain time and placed out in the open for the night. Keep all computers in family areas like the living room, so there are never any closed doors. A common culprit of bringing pornography into your home undetected is via mobile devices. While many families have filters on home computers, filtering software for tablets and phones is much less common. Install safety net programs on all Internet devices.

  It’s impossible to put our children in a sanitized bubble and protect them from all of the evil. It’s vital though that we teach them how to stand alone and to have a biblical worldview that they can use to make wise decisions. 

  The best filter for them is the personal filter of godly character that comes from a relationship with our Heavenly Father and a desire to please Him. It’s how seventeen year old Joseph stood alone when faced with sexual temptation in the eroticized culture of Egypt, “How can I do this great wickedness and sin against God?” (Genesis 39:9). 

Can we help you spiritually? Can we help you know Jesus better? Please check out more resources on our church's web page, Gracechurchwi.org. Or, call us at 262.763.3021. If you'd like to know more about how Jesus can change your life, I'd love to mail you a copy of how Jesus changed my life in "My Story." E-mail me at Carson@gracechurchwi.org to request a free copy. Please include your mailing address.