Your Famous Last Words

"The greatest legacy one can pass on to one's children and grandchildren is not money or other material things accumulated in one's life, but rather a legacy of character and faith."  Billy Graham

  Most people, when they know they’re going to have a baby begin making plans. They choose a doctor, learn about the hospital, birthing rooms, etc. They prepare the room for their new arrival, purchase a car seat, stroller and a myriad of items to prepare for their new baby.

  Most people do that for weddings. It’s a rare couple who goes to the Justice of the Peace. They plan and prepare for months from wedding attire to the location of the wedding to the reception. They plan for the minister (just a sidebar, please talk to the minister before you choose your date J), ceremony, flowers, invitations, the ever exasperating guest list, etc.

  It seems that the only major life event most fail to prepare for is our own death and funeral. Unfortunately, too many are plagued by the wrong critical question, whether we’re young or old. The question is not “if” we die, but “when” we die. There’s a macabre blitheness about the two certainties of life—death and taxes. Some manage to evade taxes. The only way anyone can possibly avoid death is to be a believer and remain alive until the return of Jesus Christ.

  Most ask the wrong question about death. We wonder where we will die, or when we will die. Our primary concern, from God’s perspective, should be how we will die. It’s the question that determines our eternal destiny and the Bible has a lot to say about how we die. From a biblical standpoint, there are only two possible ways of dying. Scripture skips over the various causes of death. It matters little how you die, whether from cancer, a heart attack, car accident, murder or from a host of other mortal causes. Though the cause of one’s biological death absorbs our attention, it’s not a concern in Scripture. When the Bible talks about the how of death, the focus is on the spiritual state of the person at the time of his or her death. The “how” of death is reduced to just two options: We either die in faith or die in our sins. Jesus warned, “I told you that you would die in your sins, for unless you believe that I am He you will die in your sins” (John 8:24).

  We foolishly think the worst thing that can happen to someone is to die. That’s wrong! It’s not the message of the Bible or Jesus. The worst thing that can happen to any of us is to die in our sins. God sent Jesus so that we could instead die in faith, forgiven because we have trusted in His sacrifice for us on the Cross. That’s the continual theme of Scripture and the message encapsulated in John 3:16.

  If we have the assurance based on God’s Word that we are dying “in faith,” we should want our death to be our last opportunity to share with those we love, how they too can die “in faith.” Like the birth of a baby or a wedding, it requires planning. Because we don’t have a “due date,” we tend to procrastinate. While I know this and I know that death can come unexpectedly, I realized that Jane and I needed to do this, too.

  So after answering the most important question, are you “in faith,” another vital question is what you will leave behind? What kind of legacy are you leaving? If you don’t plan and leave some instructions about your wishes, your last message may be very far from what you would have wanted. If you’re a believer, this is the last opportunity you’ll have to share your faith and speak “from the grave.” Too often, even those who know that they’re dying of a terminal disease, fail to plan and share their wishes. Their loved ones are left to guess, often with great amounts of angst and guilt. Let me share some suggestions of how to handle this in a better way.

  First, be careful that you’re not glib about your true desires. Because the cost of a funeral can be high, many will joke, “Just throw me in a hole” or “have me cremated.” Because they never took the time to spell out their true wishes, the family doesn’t want to dishonor them but is not sure on whether they were serious or not.

  Second, write out your own testimony and salvation experience. These are your last words. It’s your last time to share with your loved ones how you know that you’re forgiven by God and have eternal life. While it could be read at your funeral, I’d suggest having it printed in the funeral bulletin. Many friends will come for the visitation but because of work or other conflicts will be unable to attend your funeral.

  Third, if you have favorite songs or a passage of Scripture, write it out. Take some time and pre-plan your own memorial service. This will be a real blessing for your loved ones. If there’s friction and division, having your wishes spelled out helps your Homegoing not be a source of further division. Then, with I-pods and technology, while it may not be possible to have a live musician perform it, your favorite music can still be shared. Over the years, I’ve seen many families of believers struggling with what music would honor their loved one.

  Fourth, be wise. While you may be glib about your death, you’re loved ones will grieve. This is your last opportunity to share hope and comfort them even from the grave.

  Because most of us have never worked through this or even given it much thought, you’ll find a couple of forms on the back table today on funerals and eulogies that will hopefully give you some guidance.

  One last concern that’s related to remembering and honoring those we love. Last week the Burlington Rotary Club honored one of our hometown heroes, Jack Berry, with their annual Humanitarian Award. I was so pleased that they honored him and shared their appreciation!

  Over the years at funerals it’s greatly troubled me that too often the one who should be hearing all of those kind words is no longer there. If you have a loved one or friend who’s touched your life, please tell them now how much you appreciate them and how they’ve touched your life. Also, without going to great expense, particularly with those up in years, why not have a “memorial service” for them while they’re still here. A milestone birthday or anniversary is a great occasion for that. It doesn’t have to be big production, yet giving friends and family the opportunity to write out or publically share memories is a wonderful way to honor someone.

  In my opinion, we would all do well for our own hearts and for those we love if we would make it a point to share our gratitude and honor them this side of eternity. What an opportunity, too, for our children and grandchildren to learn of the legacy that has been entrusted to them. 

Dr. King was right...there are some things we can't be silent about...

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

  One of the tragedies with abortion is that it’s rarely considered what potential that life had that was aborted. While it’s true that the next Hitler might be aborted, it’s just as possible that the next Billy Graham was aborted. Perhaps it was the scientist who would have discovered the cure for AIDS or some new alternative form of energy.

  That was brought home to me again as I was reading a book by pastor and author, Michael Youseff. In it he shares the history of his birth. He writes:

  Like the prophet Jeremiah, I was called to preach when I was in my mother’s womb. My mother already had six children and was in very poor health when she became pregnant with me. Because of her medical condition, the doctor recommended an abortion, and she scheduled the procedure. Just before she entered the hospital, however, our pastor made an unusual late night visit to our house. My parents immediately knew that the purpose of the visit was quite serious. ‘Noza,’ he said to my mother, ‘I have a word for you from the Lord.’ ‘Then let us hear it’ my father replied. ‘You are not to terminate this pregnancy,’ Pasto Ayad Girgis said. ‘I am well aware of your health problems, and I would never come to you with such advice if I did not believe with complete certainty that God had sent me.’

  He shared with my parents how he had been unable to sleep for several nights, and how he had sought God about their situation. They listened patiently, not quite understanding, but wanting to be obedient to God’s will. ‘God is involved in this pregnancy,’ the pastor said. ‘Do not be afraid. You will have the strength and help to raise this child, because this child will be born to serve the Lord.’

  My parents understood this message to mean that their yet-unborn child, their seventh, would grow up to be a minister of God. No one in their families had ever been a minister, and the news came as quite a surprise to them. Devout Christians, they accepted the pastor’s message as God’s word, and they obeyed.

  Though it was a very dramatic episode in my family’s life, my prenatal calling is actually not as momentous as it may sound. You see, God knows each one of us intimately, and has a plan for our lives—a plan that He puts into effect before we are born.

  Today is Sanctity of Life Sunday. There are many ways to stand against the violence of abortion. Some will participate in a Life Chain, holding a sign along with others, on a major street or thoroughfare. Others will seek to end abortion legislatively. They’ll vote pro-life and will contact their elected officials, letting them know of their opposition to abortion. And there is nothing wrong with either of those ways. If you want to utilize those methods, they’re viable options as ways to make your voice heard.

  Personally, I believe that the way of the Gospel is the best way, the way of the Great Commission, with the most life-changing and lasting results. There are two vital, yet interconnected parts of the Great Commission: Evangelism and Discipleship.

  Abortion is not new. The practice of abortion, the termination of a pregnancy so that it does not result in birth, dates back to ancient times. Pregnancies were terminated through a number of methods, including the administration of abortifacient herbs, the use of sharpened implements, the application of abdominal pressure, and other techniques. The tragedy of abortion was taking place, along with infanticide and a host of other heinous crimes during the days of the early church. Yet, amazingly, those early Christians didn’t seek to end those social ills. In fact, they didn’t do a frontal assault on one of the most grievous evils of that world – slavery. Rather than attacking the fruits of depravity, they wisely went after the root…the heart, and abortion is first and foremost a heart problem.

  Yes, I wish that abortion was illegal. Yet, even if it was illegal that would not result in the end of all abortions. Murder is illegal but it still takes place. And the Bible teaches that if you hate someone, in God’s eyes that’s murder (1 John 3:15). There really is only one solution to both physical murder and heart murder – the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

  If Christians would take the Great Commission seriously, for all practical purposes, abortion would cease to exist. To be honest, it’s easier to write a letter or an email, or even stand on a sidewalk holding a sign, than it is to invest the time in reaching out to a neighbor or coworker with the Gospel. It takes time and energy to build a relationship, to cultivate the soil of a soul. It takes prayer and wisdom, asking God to soften a heart and open up doors of opportunities. It takes repeating and explaining the Gospel and changing how it is presented over and over again. It takes sharing who you are and your life. After all, how many of us accepted and understood the Gospel the first time we heard it.

  Yet, when someone trusts Christ, they are indwelt by the Holy Spirit and have a renewed mind. Issues that they once did not understand, now become crystal clear. It’s a new world for them because they’re now part of God’s Forever Family. There is nothing more thrilling than watching someone’s spiritual lights come on.

  And that’s where Discipleship comes in. As you would not abandon a newborn, so it’s vital that we help that new believer with some of the spiritual basics: consistent Bible reading, prayer, being part of the family in the local church, a biblical worldview, service, giving, etc. Frequently, we assume that new believers or young Christians (even in our homes) will just “get it.”

  A lost world bombards us with an anti-God worldview 24/7. There needs to be an ongoing, gracious open dialogue challenging the assumptions of a lost world. Most of us would probably be shocked in how anti-Christian the worldviews are of our children and grandchildren. We often assume that they’ve processed more of a biblical worldview than they have. It’s a little late when someone that we love and have an influence on faces a crises and chooses the wrong option because they have never been discipled and biblically educated. Sanctity of Life Sunday for the believer must not be a once a year event. It must be part of our lives and thinking, who we are. Is it part of yours?

Better health in just 52 hours!!

“Want to be healthier this year? Invest a little more than 50 hours.”

This ain’t preacher stuff – study after study finds that attending church is good for you, and not just spiritually but physically as well.

  T. M. Luhrmann, a professor of anthropology at Stanford, wrote in The New York Times. “One of the most striking scientific discoveries about religion in recent years is that going to church weekly is good for you. Religious attendance — at least, religiosity — boosts the immune system and decreases blood pressure. It may add as much as two to three years to your life…Social support is no doubt part of the story. At the evangelical churches I’ve studied as an anthropologist, people really did seem to look out for one another…A study conducted in North Carolina found that frequent churchgoers had larger social networks, with more contact with, more affection for, and more kinds of social support from those people than their unchurched counterparts. And we know that social support is directly tied to better health. Healthy behavior is no doubt another part. Certainly many churchgoers struggle with behaviors they would like to change, but on average, regular church attendees drink less, smoke less, use fewer recreational drugs and are less sexually promiscuous than others.”

  Can you spare 50+ hours this coming year? With 52 weeks and a little over an hour a week, it’s not very much. Of course, it’s even better if you commit to being part of a small group, too. Wow! A grand total of about 100 hours a year. The average American spends 50 hours a week looking at a screen. A years worth of worship then is about a week of what many of us spend technologically. 

  Can I speak pastorally? First, I trust that you know that I love you. Yet, I’m very concerned for some of you. I’m very concerned about your spiritual health. That’s because it’s very difficult, if not impossible to grow spiritually and yet fail to consistently worship with your brothers and sisters in Christ. Many of you miss a lot and I truly don’t believe you have any idea how often you’re absent. I’m not talking about a Sunday here or there. I’m talking about weeks and weeks of Sundays.

  Attending church is like anything else, if you don’t make it a priority, it’s less likely to happen. If you get up on Sunday morning and decide then whether you’re going to church or not, it’s too easy to hit the snooze button and sleep right through.

  A foundational part of a healthy Christian and a healthy church is consistent church attendance. Be warned though. This is a spiritual battle! Satan would much rather you skip. And most don’t skip for bad things. They’re not out partying all night. It’s usually good things, even very worthy things that will keep you from church.

  Often, it’s family events. It may be time with relatives or out of town guests. It could be babysitting the grands or little Matilda’s (your 4^th cousin’s niece) first birthday party. It could be a hectic week and you convince yourself that you need the extra rest. Or, someone is sick so the whole family stays home to feed them chicken soup. Maybe you’re not feeling 100%. A good question before deciding to stay home is: “Would I go to work if I felt this way?” If you’d go to work, then you probably should attend worship.

  Frequently, it’s a sporting event. A tragedy of our culture is that sports programs have no respect for families who attend church. I’d encourage you to talk to the coach and be willing to make some tough choices. If you’ll speak up if your kid doesn’t get enough playing time, surely you should speak up if that event is going to cause you to miss worship. At the very minimal, when there’s a scheduling conflict, determine that the whole family is attending the early service that Sunday. You’re going to have to make it a priority though or it won’t happen. And when that happens, you lose, we lose and God’s Kingdom loses.

  The Bible compares the local church family to a body. What kind of day would you have if one of your ears decided to stay home while the rest of your body went to work? It would be very frustrating at the very least.

  But please don’t just attend – engage! Some attend church out of habit. They serve their hour and they’re out the door.

  This afternoon the Packers are playing the Cowboys. Can you imagine that someone has tickets, they arrive late and try to sit as far away from the field as they possibly can? From the first kick-off until the last second of the last quarter, they’re watching the clock, daydreaming, playing on their phone, catching a nap, doodling on their program, people watching – anything to endure until it’s all finally over! Can you picture that? Probably not. What does it say about our hearts and love for Jesus when we’re fully engaged in a temporal event like a football game that makes zero eternal difference BUT when it comes to worship, when it comes to learning and growing in grace, when it comes to praise and adoration of the One who died for us – we’re bored and counting the minutes?

  Part of the reason for that is we often fail to prepare before coming to a worship service. Back to that Packer game. Prior to going, you make sure you’ve dressed warm, have your tickets, taken along some snacks and used the facilities before you take your seat. So shouldn’t we prepare our hearts for worship? Shouldn’t we plan what we’re going to wear the night before, plan out breakfast, know where our Bible is, go to bed at a decent time, even make sure the car is gassed? Shouldn’t we leave with plenty of time so that we can relax driving in? Wouldn’t we be wise to take a few moments that morning or the night before to ask God to work in our hearts during the worship service? Shouldn’t we take a moment to quiet our hearts so we can hear the voice of God?

  52 hours is really very minimal. It benefits you and when you’re heart is engaged, it’s a small way to say “Thank you” to the One who died for you! May we all say with the Psalmist, “I was glad when they said to me, ‘Let us go to the house of the Lord!’” (Psalm 122:1).

I'm so busy....

“We all have one life to live, but if we are too busy to notice the world revolving around us, then we are not living.”  Rexon Wilson

Sometimes I’m concerned about ticking people off with what I write, but not this time. The ones that might be ticked off with my words here will probably never get around to reading it – they’re just too busy.

  What is it about “busyness” and American culture? Unfortunately, I have to confess that I’m a fellow sufferer. Some how we find value in being busy but it’s a skewed yardstick of significance. If you ask the average person, “How are you?” if they don’t mumble the obligatory “fine,” they nearly always hone in on our cultural default, “busy” or “I’m just so busy.”

  Sadly, it’s not just adults. A long, long time ago in a galaxy far away, kids actually got together after school or on weekends just to – play. Not any more, if a kid drops by a neighbor kid’s home to see if they can come out to play or just “hang,” if they’re even home, it has to be scheduled. And it’s not for a day or even a morning or afternoon, it’s perhaps half an hour or hour to just play. (Not to mention that play is often a video game requiring little creativity or imagination). Then, between sports, music lessons and homework – add a whole other factor with a blended family and rotating weekends – children are nearly as exhausted as their chauffeurs, I mean parents. From the CEO to grade school students, everyone talks about their packed schedule. There’s just no room for anything else.

  Yet, perhaps we should delete the word “busy” and replace that whole concept with something a lot more honest. Instead of the word “busy,” what if we used the term “prioritizing my time.” We don’t somehow squeeze events or people into a frantic schedule, instead we must make a choice to consciously schedule time. On a larger scale, let’s stop complaining we’re too busy. Let’s tell the truth instead, which is: “I haven’t prioritized my time for that.” “Busy” is something that happens to us; prioritizing our time is something we make a conscious decision about.

  Rather than looking at your schedule and thinking “I’m too busy,” instead, look at your schedule and ask yourself, “How am I prioritizing my time?” For most of us, this one change will cause us to think differently about our schedule. We can then move forward and begin looking for better ways to control our schedule, instead of acting like we’re puppets on a string, even victims, and letting it control us.

  Horribly destructive time use habits start early, very early. It’s so much a part of our culture that we never consider that something might be wrong. How did we end up living like this? Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we do this to our children? When did we forget that we’re human beings, not doings? Whatever happened to a world where kids get dirty, messy…even bored? Do we have to love our children so much that we over schedule them, making them stressed and busy — just like us? What happened to a world in which we can sit with the people we love and have slow conversations about the state of our heart and soul, conversations that slowly unfold, conversations with pregnant pauses and silences that we’re in no rush to fill? How did we create a world in which we have more and more to do with less time for leisure, less time for reflection, less time for community, less time to just be? As Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Yet, how are we supposed to have time to even examine our lives when we’re already so inordinately busy?

  Everyone has the same amount of time – 24 hours a day. To break free from the prison of the overly busy, you must first have an escape plan. It’s not going to be easy. There will be peer pressure, criticism and even perhaps shaming. You must persevere and determine to be a little ruthless.

  Where do we start? We must determine to ruthlessly cut unnecessary stuff out of our lives. Before we can determine what’s necessary and unnecessary, we must have a biblical worldview because what’s valuable to an unbeliever and what’s valuable to a Christ-follower are very different.

  For example, to a non-believer, material things and position have great value. Yet, to have things and position demands more hours working to pay for those things and to maintain that position, not to mention the potential opportunity of moving up the ladder. But then you’re often so “busy,” you rarely have time to enjoy those things you’re working so many hours to pay for. The position that you thought that you needed often becomes a ball and chain, rather than a springboard to fulfillment.

  A believer realizes that things, position, etc. are merely tools. They’re to be managed for God’s glory and purpose, to be enjoyed as gifts from a loving Heavenly Father. To get though to that position is going to require being a bit ruthless. One of the most dangerous American myths is that “you can have it all.” You can’t. You must choose. To have the best, you must be ruthless and determined in your choice.

  How do we accomplish this? First, we must be very acquainted with God’s instruction Book, the Bible. You’ll never have the right values if you’re using the wrong playbook. Then, pray and ask God for wisdom in choosing and evaluating (James 1:5). After you have done that…

  Begin to set your priorities. This isn’t all that complicated: God, marriage, family, church family, vocation, community, personal space, etc. Those are basic for everyone. With those priorities in mind, what do you want to accomplish in your life? Where do you want to be in a month? Six months? A year? What do you need to do each day to get there? Put daily and weekly time blocks in your calendar. Begin with the non-negotiables, then fill in any time left with the non-essentials.

  Plan ahead. Life is a lot like building a house. You start with a set of plans. Then, you secure the materials and workers to begin the project. If you have no plan and are unprepared, that house is going to take a long, long time to build.   

  Change the way you describe your time. Instead of saying to yourself or others that “you’re just too busy,” instead say “I’ve chosen not to prioritize that” because that’s the truth. Whenever you don’t do something in your life, it’s because you’ve chosen not to prioritize that activity. But choosing to prioritize useless activity over active steps that coincide with your values and towards your life goals is a choice you’ll regret.

  So how’s your week looking? Have you allowed yourself to become so busy that you can’t see straight? Are the days ticking by without you reaching your goals? Or, are you consciously prioritizing your life so you can focus on the most important? “So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom” (Psalms 90:12).