The Terrorist Within

“The only reason that you’re conscious right now is because I don’t want to carry you.” Jack Bauer

  What were you doing five years ago? Was it some life changing event? Something happen to you that you’ll never forget? Were you really hurt?

  Apparently, that was the case with Freddie Prinze Jr was. Last week, during a promotional interview for the Disney XD series, Star War Rebels, Prinze shared that he’d such a heinous time starring opposite Kiefer Sutherland in Season 8 of the hit series 24, he nearly quit show business. He “hated every moment” of filming the TV series. And what made all of this newsworthy is that it happened more than five years ago. Not five weeks or months, five years! This recent revelation is the first time any issue between the two actors has ever been made public. A spokesperson for the producers of 24 responded that “this is the first he has heard of Freddie’s grievances…Kiefer enjoyed working with Freddie and wishes him the best.” Apparently, Freddie Prinze Jr’s net worth of some $19 million is just not enough to help him recover from his feelings of being mistreated over five years ago.

  My friend, Bob Loggans, has a wonderful description of bitterness that he’d act out when he preached on bitterness. He’d start with something like a huge dirty clothes bag. As Bob talked about the high price of bitterness, he’d start putting big rocks in his bag. For every incident of bitterness he’s add another rock to his bag: bitterness toward your parents, throw a boulder in the bag. Bitterness toward a sibling, throw a boulder in the bag. Bitterness toward your spouse, throw a boulder in the bag. Bitterness toward your boss or a fellow employees, throw a boulder in the bag. Bitterness toward a neighbor, classmate, coach, etc., throw a boulder in the bag for each one.

  Then, Bob would point out that many people go through life with all of this extra baggage, just like trying to carry around a huge bag of rocks. They keep adding rock after rock of bitterness. Then, they wonder why life is dreary and they feel so worn out and weighed down. 

  Apparently, Freddie Prinze Jr is carrying around a big bag of rocks. This may surprise you. The ones I felt sorriest for with the revelation of his five year grudge were his wife, Sarah Michelle Gellar and their two children, Charlotte and Rocky. When someone is carrying a load of bitterness, usually their spouse finds that they’re the most frequent recipient of that unresolved emotional acid and their children are next on the hit list. Usually, small things set them off, like someone cutting them off in traffic or a forgotten minor detail. What’s worthy of a flyswatter response for someone with a healthy handle on their emotions, is an atomic meltdown from someone with internal lava dating back years or decades. And the volcano will blow at the most inopportune times over the smallest offenses.

  Those closest to the bitter person, usually seek to placate them and even take responsibility for the explosion. They tiptoe relationally around the person, attempting as much as they can not to set them off. It doesn’t work. Life cannot be controlled. It can’t be that sterile. Soon they find the lava spewing again. Frequently, the lava victim looks back, carefully analyzing what they possibly could have done different to avert the explosion. Nothing. When you’re dealing with a bitter person, it’s not a matter of “Will they explode?” It’s a question of “When?”

  Bitter individuals are usually lonely people. They may have lots of acquaintances, but few friends. Either they avoid getting close to others, for fear that who they really are will be discovered. Or, others avoid them, out of anxiety that they’ll inadvertently do something which will set them off. Subconsciously, even unbelievers are aware of the blunt reality of Proverbs 22:24-25, “Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.”

  Add to that, while the bitter person may not be cognizant of it, they’re frequently broken records. As they continually mentally feed on past toxic life events or perceived mistreatments, some real, others in their mind, the poisons consistently come up in dialogues as you spend time with them.

  Friends may foolishly suggest they do something proactive to resolve their bitterness. Yet, they’ll find the person is addicted to being bitter and seemingly seems to enjoy being miserable and making others miserable.

  Bitter individuals often struggle with depression, partially because they’ve become isolated. As they rehearse their wounds mentally, they sink deeper into self-pity. In this mental rehashing, they often exaggerate their wounds and the many good things that have happened in their life fade out, overshadowed by the acid.

  Please understand then that, All bitterness is ultimately against God. Since God is sovereign and in absolute control, then everything from our parents to our job to our government are allowed by God in our lives. God could have easily made it so that Freddie Prinze Jr. didn’t get the role or that Kiefer Sutherland was replaced. Though we don’t understand, even though the experience may have been painful, as believers, we can trust that our Heavenly Father never makes a mistake. “As for God, His way is perfect” (Psalms 18:30).

  To be free from bitterness toward others, we must be forgivers. We need to begin each day at the foot of the Cross, marveling at God’s amazing grace that sent His Son to bear the wrath that we deserved. God forgave us far more than we can ever forgive anyone else.

  Jesus graphically made this point in response to Peter’s question about forgiveness (Matt. 18:21-35). No one could have wronged us as much as we’ve wronged God. Since He freely forgave us, we must forgive others.

  Are you struggling with bitterness? Do you hold grudges and have difficulty forgiving others? Maybe it’s because you’ve never received God’s forgiveness through faith in Christ alone. That’s always the first place to start. If you have been forgiven, trust Him. Then, allow His grace and mercy to flow through you toward others.

  None of us have to be miserable. It’s a choice. Freedom from bitterness only comes as we trust God and forgive as we’ve been forgiven by Him.